Have you thought about what determines the way we are as we grow up? Remember the TV program Seven Up! It started following the lives of a group of children in 1963. We first meet them as wide-eyed seven-year-olds and then catch up with them at seven-year intervals (间隔): nervous 14-year-olds, serious 21-year-olds, then grown-ups.

    Some of the stories are inspiring, others sad, but what is interesting in almost all the cases is the way in which the children's early hopes and dreams are shown in their future lives, for example, at seven, Tony is a lively child who says he wants to become a sportsman or a taxi driver. When he grows up, he goes on to do both. Nicki says, “I'd like to find out about the moon.” and goes on to become a space scientist. As a child, soft-spoken Bruce says he wants to help “poor children” and ends up teaching in India.

    But if the lives of all the children had followed this pattern, the program would be far less interesting than it actually was. It was the children whose childhood did not prepare them for what was to come that made the program so inspiring. Where did their ideas come from about what they wanted to do when they grew up? Are children influenced by what their parents do, by what they see on television, or by what their teachers say? How great is the effect of a single important event? Many film directors, including Stephen Spielberg, say that an early visit to the cinema was the turning point in their lives. Dr Magaret Me Allister, who has done a lot of research in this area, thinks that the major influences are parents, friends and the wider society.

    When seeing the doctor, you feel better to know you will get some medicine. But the doctor knows that medicine is not always needed. Sometimes all a sick person needs is some reassurance (安想) that all will be well. In such cases the doctor may prescribe a placebo.

    A placebo is a sugar pill, a harmless shot, or an empty capsule. The patient thinks it is medicine and begins to get better. How does this happen?

    The study of the placebo opens up new knowledge about the way the human body can heal itself. It is as if there was a doctor in each of us. The doctor will heal the body for us if we let it. But it is not yet known just how the placebo works to heal the body. Some people say it works because the human mind fools itself. These people say that if the mind is fooled into thinking it got medicine, then it will act as if it did, and the body will feel better.

    Placebos don't always work. The success of this treatment seems to rest a lot with the relationship between the patient and the doctor. If the patient has lots of trust in the doctor and if the doctor really wants to help the patient, then the placebo is more likely to work. So in a way, the doctor is the most powerful placebo of all.

    A placebo can also have bad effects. If patients expect a bad reaction to medicine, then they'll also show a bad reaction to the placebo. Some doctors still think that if the placebo can have bad effects it should never be used. They think there is still not enough known about it.

    The strange power of the placebo does seem to suggest that the human mind is stronger than we think it is. There are people who say you can heal your body by using your mind. And the interesting thing is that even people who swear this is not possible have been healed by a placebo.

    Nisha Pradhan is worried. The recent college graduate just turns 21 and plans to live on her own. But she's afraid she won't be able to stay safe. That's because she isn't able to smell.

    Back home, her family do her smelling for her. She's moved in with them for now, but she's looking for a place of her own. “Now that I'm searching for ways or place to live as an independent person, I find that the sense of smell is important to how we live our lives,” Pradhan says.

    She says when she was a child she liked to eat and ate a lot. But there came a point where she lost interest in food.

    “One of the first things that people notice whenever they have a smell problem is that food doesn't taste right any more,” says Beverly Cowart, a researcher. That's because eating and smell go hand in hand. How food tastes often rely on what we smell. “When you lose your sense of smell, your whole sense of food flavors changed and reduced,” Cowart says, “You can still taste the basic tastes. What you're missing are the small distinctions.”

    “When I go out to eat I have often found that food is very tasteless to me. I never feel full,” she says. “I think a lot of us today like to pretend to be food lovers and we all like to talk about 'Oh, I think this could use a little bit more flavor,' or ‘I think this has a hint of meat,' I can't really participate in those conversations,” she says.

    Pradam thinks her smell loss also may have affected her memory. Pradhan may be on to something, according to biologist Paul Moore. “When smell signals come in, you feel about them first. And then you think about it and then the memory is laid down. So without the feel part, the thinking about its part doesn't come. And that means no new smell memory gets created.”

    Family fights are never pleasant. Whether you are dealing with a loud sister or a stubborn mom or dad, the situation can be bad. At least that's what we have learned to expect.

    What if it could be different? What if family fights and conflicts could be turned into opportunities to become closer? What if problems could be solved with everyone walking away feeling more deeply cared for and loved?

    Family fighting is, on one level, about power. Someone is telling someone else what to do. In a short moment, emotions can be brought out and the fight is on. You can go down that old road or you can try something different.

    In any fight, you have a need to be listened to and understood. People raise their voices and shout at each other because they're not being listened to. It's totally unconscious. You want your mom or dad to listen and understand. But you always seems to forget the person you're fighting with has the same need to be listened to. So if you can put aside your need for a few minutes, the situation will change quickly. Give the other person some time to express his or her feelings, and you will earn your turn to be listened to.

    And while you are listening, you have to listen for the right information. The best way to do this in emotional situations is to forget most of the words because many people can't express what they are feeling with words alone, especially when they are upset.

    But if the situation starts to get out of hand, it would be wise to just calm down and leave the problem until later because many fights happen at the wrong time. The situation will die down quickly, usually in less than 30 seconds. You can either move on to problem solving or reach an agreement to work on it at a better time.

    This way, everyone will feel respected and listened to, even when there is conflict. Emotions will be understood and respected, and it will bring your family closer together.

    Ever walked to the shops only to find, once there, you've completely forgotten what you went for? Or struggled to remember the name of an old friend? For years we've accepted that a forgetful brain is as much a part of aging as wrinkles and gray hair. But now a new book suggests that we've got it all wrong.

    According to The Secret Life of the Grown-up Brain, by science writer Barbara Strauch, when it comes to the important things, our brains actually get better with age. In fact, she argues that some studies have found that our brain hits its peak between our 40s and 60s — much later than previously thought.

    Furthermore, rather than losing many brain cells as we age, we keep them, and even produce new ones well into middle age. For years it's been assumed that brain, much like the body, declines with age. But the longest, largest study into what happens to people as they age suggests otherwise.

    This continuing research has followed 6,000 people since 1956, testing them every seven years. It has found that on average, participants performed better on cognitive (认知的) tests in their 40s and 50s than they had done in their 20s. Specifically, older people did better on tests of vocabulary, verbal memory (how many words you can remember) and problem solving. Where they performed less well was number ability and perceptual speed — how fast you can push a button when ordered. However, with more complex tasks such as problem-solving and language, we are at our best at middle age and beyond. In short, researchers are now coming up with scientific proof that we do get wiser with age.

    Neuroscientists are also finding that we are happier with aging. A recent US study found older people were much better at controlling and balancing their emotions. It is thought that when we're younger we need to focus more on the negative aspects of life in order to learn about the possible dangers in the world, but as we get older we've learned our lessons and are aware that we have less time left in life: therefore, it becomes more important for us to be happy.

    A while back I caught a news report on something called couch surfing and the network of trusting souls who make this phenomenon possible. They offer to put up travelers free of charge and help them on their ways. At first, it sounded unbelievable. I mean, inviting strangers into one's home for one or two nights? Give me a break.

    However, I was intrigued. I decided to find it out. The only way to truly learn about this phenomenon was to dive in. So I planned a trip to Finland, a country I've always wanted to explore. I would couch surf at every stop there.

    If ever any anxiety existed when stepping into the unknown, it disappeared when my first host met me at the train station. Ari looked like my idea of a typical Finn: tall and blue-eyed. Finns were also supposed to be famously reserved (寡言少语的). Ari was anything but. He was a live wire, giving me a warm welcome and walking with me to his apartment, where he showed me the sleeper sofa, served me tea, and engaged me in warm conversations. He also handed me a key to come and go as I pleased.

    If this was what couch surfing was all about—trust and friendship—then I had gotten off to a good start. As I boarded my next train to continue my journey, I began to think about this couch-surfing idea. What encouraged these people to open their homes to strangers? I concluded that there was a desire to lend a hand to like-minded folks who might enrich their own lives.

    Seven cities in 14 days. Seven hosts. Seven new friends. If couch surfing taught me anything, it's this: Most people are good and generous. Where will couch surfing take me next? Who knows? But I can't wait to find out.