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    FLORENCE, Italy—Svetlana Cojochru feels hurt. The Moldovan has lived here seven years as a caregiver to Italian kids and the elderly, but in order to stay she's had to prove her language skills by taking a test which requires her to write a postcard to an imaginary friend and answer a fictional job ad.

    Italy is the latest Western European country trying to control a growing immigrant(移民) population by demanding language skills in exchange for work permits, or in some cases, citizenship.

    Some immigrant advocates worry that as hard financial times make it more difficult for natives to keep jobs, such measures will become more a vehicle for intolerance than integration(融合). Others say it's only natural that newcomers learn the language of their host nation, seeing it as a condition to ensure they can contribute to society.

    Other European countries laid down a similar requirement for immigrants, and some terms are even tougher. The governments argue that this will help foreigners better join the society and promote understanding across cultures.

    Italy, which has a much weaker tradition of immigration, has witnessed a sharp increase in immigration in recent years. In 1990, immigrants numbered some 1.14 million out of Italy's then 56.7 million people, or about 2 percent. At the start of this year, foreigners living in Italy amounted to 4.56 million of a total population of 60.6 million, or 7.5 percent, with immigrants' children accounting for an even larger percentage of births in Italy.

    Cojochru, the Moldovan caregiver, hoped obtaining permanent residence(居住权) would help her bring her two children to Italy; they live with her sister in Moldova, where salaries are among the lowest in Europe. She was skeptical that the language requirement would encourage integration.

    Italians always “see me as a foreigner,” an outsider, even though she's stayed in the country for years and can speak the local language fluently, she said.

    The Healthy Habits Survey(调查)shows that only about one third of American seniors have correct habits. Here are some findings and expert advice.

    1). How many times did you brush your teeth yesterday?

    Finding：A full 33% of seniors brush their teeth only once a day.

    Step：Remove the 300 types of bacteria in your mouth each morning with a battery-operated toothbrush. Brush gently for 2 minutes, at least twice a day.

    2). How many times did you wash your hands or bathe yesterday?

    Finding：Seniors, on average, bathe fewer than 3 days a week. And nearly 30%wash their hands only 4 times a day-half of the number doctors recommend.

    Step：We touch our faces around 3,000 times a day-often inviting germs(病菌)to enter our mouth, nose, and eyes. Use toilet paper to avoid touching the door handle. And, most important, wash your hands often with hot running water and soap for 20 seconds.

    3). How often do you think about fighting germs?

    Finding：Seniors are not fighting germs as well as they should.

    Step：Be aware of germs. Do you know it is not your toilet but your kitchen sponge(海绵)that can carry more germs than anything else? To kill these germs, keep your sponge in the microwave for 10 seconds.

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    There's a curious thing about people.All of us are driven in some way or another to achieve—we want to run faster,be more creative,win more awards,and earn more money.But here's the thing: if you want to offer warm words of wisdom,constructive criticism or "360-degree feedback",then think again.Most of us would rather not hear it.

    Our easily-broken egos（自尊心）are partly to blame.We all want to meet our own expectations of ourselves,and so being critised can present a huge threat to our egos.Yet as decades of psychological theory and research have indicated,people have endless tricky strategies of remaining positive in the face of criticism.For this reason,rather than us welcoming feedback with open arms,our first response is often an automatic defense.These reactions serve to make us feel better about ourselves.

    Psychological research exposes this unhealthy appetite for ignorance.In one study,students watched a false educational film about a serious disease called "TAA Deficiency".In fact,TAA Deficiency is completely fictional,but the students were not told this information;instead,they were asked whether they wished to provide a cheek test for assessing（评估）their risk of developing the disease.Half of the students were told that if they ever developed TAA Deficiency,then the treatment would involve them taking a two-week course of pills.Of this group,52% agreed to provide the cheek test.The other half of students learned the treatment would involve taking the pills for the rest of their lives.Of this group,only 21% agreed to the test.

    These findings show a common pattern seen in other studies within and beyond the context of healthcare.That is,people are especially resistant to hearing feedback when they believe it could force them to do something difficult or unpleasant.

    When I was a little girl, I remember that when my dad was repairing something, he would ask me to hold the hammer, so we would have time for a conversation with each other. I never saw my dad drinking or taking a night out. All he did after work was taking care of his family.

    I grew up and left home for college and since then, my dad had been calling me every Sunday morning. And when I bought a house several years later, my dad painted it by himself in the fierce summer heat. All he asked was to talk to him, but I was too busy in those days.

    Four years ago, my dad visited me. He spent many hours putting together a swing for my daughter. He asked me to have a talk with him, but I had to prepare for a trip that weekend.

    One Sunday morning we had a telephone talk as usual. I noticed that my dad had forgotten some things that we discussed lately. I was in a hurry, so our conversation was short. Several hours later that day I received a call. My father was in the hospital. Immediately I bought a plane ticket and on my way I was thinking about all the occasions I missed to have a talk with my dad. By the time I arrived at the hospital, my father had passed away. Now it was he who did not have time for a conversation with me. I realized how little I knew about my dad, his deepest thoughts and his dreams.

    After his death I learned much more about him and even more about myself. All he ever wanted was my time. And now he has all my attention every single day.

    "Stop making excuses for him. Mom," I said. "But maybe he is feeling unwell..." Mom said. "Maybe nothing." I interrupted. I had been tending Mom since her health began to decline and this would be the first time in a year that my husband and I had a night out together. Jerry had promised to stay with Mom. But again he let us down. And more often than not, his drinking had a lot to do with it. His irresponsibility upset me.

    I remembered our happy growing-up years in a small town in West Virginia. With good family education. Jerry had been a kind kid. He was only 15 when Dad died. Unlike him, I got over the sorrow soon, but he started drinking. Soon he began hanging out with bad guys.

    Jerry and I didn't see each other often, but we talked on the phone. Usually, though, we ended up fighting. When Mom came to live with us, Jerry dropped in regularly at first, but after a while his visits became sporadic. He explained he couldn't handle seeing Mom in such a bad condition. Another excuse, I thought.

    One day I went to see the doctor about my back. It had been aching for months. "I can't find anything wrong with you physically," the doctor said. "But I can tell you're very tense. Is something bothering you?" I poured out my story about Jerry. "Do you think he's likely to change?" he asked. I shrugged."Probably not." "But, you can," he said gently.

    Me? Why did I have to change? He was the one who constantly let us down. But what had I done? Maybe the doctor was right. I couldn't love his behavior, but I could love him—the way 1 did when we were little. As I walked intothe house I sensed a relief.

    Jerry died young due to drinking. I miss him. But Pm grateful I was given the opportunity to show him I lovedhim—as he was, not as I wanted him to be.

    It's really true what people say about English politeness: it's everywhere. When squeezing past someone in a narrow aisle, people say "sorry". When getting off a bus, English passengers say "thank you" rather than the driver. In Germany, people would never dream of doing these things. After all, squeezing past others is sometimes inevitable, and the bus driver is merely doing his job. I used to think the same way, without questioning it, until I started travelling to the British Isles and came to appreciate some more polite ways of interacting with people.

    People thank each other everywhere in England, all the time. When people buy something in a shop, customer and shop assistant in most cases thank each other twice or more. In Germany, it would be unusual to hear more than one thank you in such a conversation. British students thank their lecturers when leaving the room. English employers thank their employees for doing their jobs, as opposed to Germans.

    Another thing I observed during my stay was that English people rarely criticize others. Even when I was working and mistakes were pointed out to me, my employers emphasized several times but none of their explanations were intended as criticism. It has been my impression that by avoiding criticism, English people are making an effort to make others feel comfortable. This also is showed in other ways. British men still open doors for women, and British men are more likely to treat women to a meal than German men.