I came to study in the United States a year ago. Yet I did not know the real American society until I was injured in a car accident because after the accident I had to see a doctor and go to court.   

    After the accident, my roommate called a doctor for me. I was very grateful and determined to repay him one day. But the next day, he asked me to pay him $200 for what he had done. I was astonished. He had good reason to charge me, he said. And if I wanted to collect money from the person who was responsible for my injury, I'd have to have a good lawyer. And only a good doctor can help me get a good lawyer. Now that he had helped me find a good doctor, it was only fair that I should pay him.  

    But every day I went to see the doctor, I had to wait about 50 minutes. He would see two or three patients at the same time, and often stop treating one so as to see another. Yet he charged me $115 each time. The final examination report consisted of ten lines, and it cost me $215.    

    My lawyer was all smiles the first time we met. But after that he avoided seeing me at all. He knew very well the other party was responsible for the accident, yet he hardly did anything. He simply waited to collect his money. He was so irresponsible that I decided to dismiss him. And he made me pay him $770.    

    Now I had to act as my own lawyer. Due to my inexperience, I told the insurance company the date I was leaving America. Knowing that, they played for time and I left without getting a cent.

    Two friends have an argument that bleaks up their friendship forever, even though neither one can remember how the whole thing got started. Such sad events happen over and over in high schools across the country. In fact, according to an official report on youth violence, "In our country today, the greatest threat to the lives of children and adolescents is not disease or starvation or abandonment, but the terrible reality of violence". Given that this is the case, why aren't students taught to manage conflict the way they are taught to solve math problems, drive cars, or stay physically fit?

    First of all, students need to realize that conflict is unavoidable. A report on violence among middle school and high school students indicates that most violent incidents between students begin with a relatively minor insult (侮辱). For example, a fight could start over the fact that one student eats a peanut butter sandwich each lunchtime. Laughter over the sandwich can lead to insults, which in turn can lead to violence. The problem isn't in the sandwich, but in the way students deal with the conflict.

Once students recognize that conflict is unavoidable, they can practice the golden rule of conflict resolution—stay calm. Once the student feels calmer, he or she should choose words that will calm the other person down as well. Rude words, name-calling, and accusation only add fuel to the emotional fire. On the other hand, soft words spoken at a normal sound level can put out the fire before it explodes out of control.

    After both sides have calmed down, they can use another key strategy for conflict resolution: listening. Listening allows the two sides to understand each other. One person should describe his or her side, and the other person should listen without interrupting. Afterward, the listener can ask non-threatening questions to clarify the speaker's position. Then the two people should change roles.

    Finally, students need consider what they are hearing. This doesn't mean trying to figure out what's wrong with the other person. It means understanding what the real issue is and what both sides are trying to accomplish. For example, a shouting match over a peanut butter sandwich might happen because one person thinks the other person is unwilling to try new things. Students need to ask themselves questions such as these: How did this start? What do I really want? What am I afraid off? As the issue becomes clearer, the conflict often simply becomes smaller. Even if it doesn't, careful thought helps both sides figure out a mutual solution.

    There will always be conflict in schools, but that doesn't mean there needs to be violence. After students in Atlanta started a conflict resolution program, according to Educators for Social Responsibility, "64 percent of the teachers reported less physical violence in the classroom; 75 percent of the teachers reported an increase in student cooperation; and 92 percent of the students felt better about themselves". Learning to resolve conflicts can help students deal with friends, teachers, parents, bosses, and coworkers. In that way, conflict resolution is a basic life skill that should be taught in schools across the country.

    Last week I was riding my special motorbike and then stopped at a convenience store. As I was getting my wheelchair off the back, a man watched me from his car and I noticed a wheelchair in his back seat. We spoke for a moment and I asked him about the wheelchair. He answered that it was for his daughter. "Well, do you think she would like to go for a ride on my motorbike with me?" I asked. He seemed shocked that a total stranger would ask him this. He thought about it for a second and said, "OK, as long as I can follow you."

    He introduced me to Amy and he sat her on my back seat. Her father followed me for a few miles and she talked non-stop about what she wanted for Christmas. As we came back to the convenience store, she said, "This ride is the best Christmas present I could ever receive. I have been in a wheelchair my whole life and didn't know I could do this." I told her about some of the other things I do (ski, travel the world by myself, etc.). As her father was taking her off my bike, she turned to him and said, "Oh Daddy, I'm going to be OK. Mr. Bryant does all kinds of things, and I will too." Her father turned away as a tear of joy rolled down his cheek. He hugged me and said, "I was sitting here praying for a gift for Amy that would encourage her. She often felt that her life was dull compared to other children. God answered my prayer just now. Now I pray that God will bless you for your gift to Amy today." I believed what he said. Being kind and thoughtful to others, we can be an answer to prayer.

    How was your day today? If it was just sort of OK, with nothing much happening, then Scott Shaffer wants to hear from you. Mr Shaffer is the editor of the Journal of Mundane Behaviour. "We can learn a lot about the way that society works by examining normal patterns of behavior," he says. "All the ordinary decisions we make and ordinary things we do are society in action."

    The idea that social scientists should "study the unmarked", in Mr Shaffer's words, has also spread to historians. Traditionally, most history has been written as the story of greatness. It is all about great ideas, great people and great economic and social forces changing the way that millions of people live for ever. Albert Einstein's theory of relativity changed the way that we look at the universe. But has he been of more benefit to humanity than the unknown person who invented the first really comfortable shoe? Try thinking great thoughts when your feet hurt.

    In recent years, books of micro-history have been a great success with the public. Most micro historians like to relate their subject to wider developments in society. According to historian Catherine Gallagher, the potato was once a matter of great argument. Supporters pointed out that it could grow cheaply and easily and help feed the poor. Opponents said that this would lead to the poor becoming more powerful, since they did not have to spend every hour working to feed themselves. It seems that European socialism started with an argument about vegetables. British historian Colin Jones wants us to look at pictures painted hundreds of years ago. He wants us to notice the fact that nobody smiles in these pictures. Compare that with today, when everyone smiles for the camera and refusing to smile is seen as an unfriendly act. It is all because of dentistry, he says. Once people were able to look after their teeth, they began to smile and the world became a happier place.

    Whether stories like this are true or not, they put ordinary people at the center of history. Most of us are not going to change the world in a big way. But we might be able to do something that makes life a bit easier for other people. And maybe one day a historian will come along and write the story. It is something to get excited about, though perhaps not very excited.

    I've come back to check on a baby. Just after dusk I'm in a car down a muddy road in the rain, past rows of shackled (戴镣的) elephants, their trunks swinging. I was here five hours before, when the sun was high and hot and tourists were on elephants' backs.

    Walking now, I can hardly see the path with my phone's flashlight. When the wooden fence post stops me short, I point my light down and follow a current of rainwater across the floor until it washes up against three large, gray feet. A fourth foot twisted above the surface, tied tightly by a short chain and choked by ring of metal spikes (尖刺). When the elephant gets tired and puts her foot down, the spikes press deeper into her ankle.

    Meena is four years and two months old, still a child as elephants go. Khammon Kongkhaw, her caretaker, told me earlier that Meena wears the spiked chain because she tends to kick. Kongkhaw has been responsible for Meena here at Maetaman Elephant Adventure, near Chiang Mai, in northern Thailand, since she was 11 months old. He said he keeps her on the spiked chain only during the day and takes it off at night. But it's night now.

    I ask Jin Laoshen, the Maetaman worker, why her chain is still on. He says he doesn't know.

    Maetaman is one of many animal attractions in and around tourist-crowded Chiang Mai. Meena's life is set to follow the same track as many of the roughly 3,800 captive (被捕获的) elephants in Thailand. When Meena is too old or sick to give rides—maybe at 55, maybe at 75, she'll die. If she's lucky, she'll get a few years of retirement. She'll spend most of her life on a chain.

Dear Max,

It must seem a little odd to get a letter from your own mother who m you see every day, but I hope you will read this and take what I have to say seriously. 

I bought you a phone for your 12th birthday because you wanted one so much, and all your friends have one. I know you love your phone, but I wonder whether you are aware of just how much you use it. 

From my perspective, it seems that you are constantly checking your phone for notifications（通知） or messages. You even do this when we're having a family meal in a restaurant or when I'm talking to you. You may not realise this, but whenever you feel even slightly bored, you check your phone. You never seem to relax. You're constantly on alert, and I don't think this is very good for you. We all need to switch it off every now and then. And if I ask you to leave your phone at home when we go out, you sulk（生气） and get twitchy, almost as if you're suffering withdrawal symptoms（戒断症状）. It's like your phone is a drug.

I have tried to talk to you about this, but whenever I ask you to put down your phone and look at me, you say "in a minute". Unfortunately, "in a minute" never comes, and we never talk. I can't actually remember the last time we had a proper face-to-face conversation. I even have to message you to let you know dinner is on the table! That's why I decided to put my concerns in a letter to you.

Please don't think I am writing this letter to punish you or to nag（唠叨） you. I know you are a good boy. I don't think you want to hurt me or be rude intentionally. However, I recently heard about something called "nomophobia"—the fear of being without a phone. It's a real illness and I'm worried whether you have it. I really think it would be a good idea if we all went to see an addiction expert together so we can all have a discussion about this serious problem. I know you won't want to, but I'm very concerned about you. Please take some time to think about what I have written. Then let's talk.

Mum,