Come and join us to celebrate his birthday.

    Why are certain people so memorable, while some fade from our memories over time? This question crosses my mind often; there are many possible answers. When you are raising children, you realize that some people become very important to them, draw them in, accept and respect them. These people change them.

    Several examples come to mind with my youngest son. He was always more comfortable around his dad's friends than his own. He loved to spend time with them, fish with them, listen to their stories and just be with them.

    He has experienced the loss of several really meaningful friendships over the past few years, and it has been very painful for him. One, Dr. George, was a neighbor and fishing buddy who would call to see if Ken could go fishing with him. Dr. George always said Ken was the son he never had and that it meant everything to him. He died very suddenly while fishing with all of his best buddies a few years ago. The huge hole that left in so many lives simply cannot be filled — for Ken it was immensely painful.

    There was another fishing buddy of his dad's, Frank, who was always fun to be around. Ken was very young then, but he really enjoyed getting along with ＂the guy＂ when they were fishing. Frank and his family went to the Keys in the same week as we did one year ago and the memory remains to this day. Cheerful and happy, he was able to laugh at himself and accept everyone's abilities or lack of them, all qualities that impressed Ken so much.

    When he became deadly ill, Ken drove from his home in North Carolina to Florida for an overnight visit with him. He died a short time later. The day after his funeral (葬礼), Frank came to Ken in a dream and asked if he would take care of his wife, Carol. To Ken this was very meaningful, and today they share a special bond that Frank somehow knew would be important for them both.

    “I wish we hadn't come on this trip!” Jeff's voice echoed across the narrow canyon （峡谷）. His father stopped, breathing heavily. “This is hard on you, but you've got to come through with courage!” He gently placed his hand on the boy's shoulder. “Now, I don't know if I can make it without stopping every so often. You're young, but you're strong and fast. Do you remember the way back from here to the road, if you had to go alone?”

    Jeff flashed back to the painful scene of Mark, his seventeen-year-old brother at their campsite. He was bitten by a snake yesterday. This morning he couldn't move, and the pain got worse. He needed medical attention right away. They had left their phone in the car, and it must have been out of power by then. Leaving Mark at the campsite and seeking help was their only choice.

“Jeff, could you do it?”

    Jeff looked to the end of the canyon, several miles away. He nodded and a plan began to take hold in his mind. “What is the name of that little town we stopped, Dad?” There must be a hospital there.

    “Flint. We parked at the side of the road a few miles out of Flint.”

    Jeff nodded. Then they continued climbing. Stone by stone, they made their way up the canyon. Gradually, Jeff's father grew smaller and smaller in the distance. Jeff waved to him and then climbed toward the road. Two hours later, he finally reached the road and struggled toward the town, almost exhausted.

    “Can't stop.” He thought. “Mark's in big trouble. Keep going.” Suddenly, he saw a truck heading toward him. “Hey, mister!” He shouted, waving both arms. He began to jog toward the truck, and then broke into a full-speed run.

    His chest was burning with every breath when the truck driver stopped by him. Jeff explained breathlessly. The driver reached for his cellphone as soon as he heard about Mark. “Better get the helicopter in there,” he said immediately. But Jeff wasn't sure about that because everything got unclear and then went black and quiet.

    Hours later, Jeff opened his eyes to find his father on a chair nearby. “You're a hero, son,” his father said with a smile. “You had the helicopter sent into the canyon after Mark. I can't tell you how happy I was when I saw it overhead. They got him to the hospital. He's going to be fine soon. I'm so proud of you!”

    Advances in artificial intelligence and the use of big data are changing the way many large companies recruit (招募) entry level and junior management positions. These days, graduates' CVs may well have to impress an algorithm (算法) rather than an (human resources) manager.

    While algorithms supposedly treat each application equally, experts are divided about whether so-called robo-recruitment promises an end to human prejudice in the selection process —or whether it may in fact add to it.

    “AI systems are not all equal,” says Loren Larsen, chief technology officer for HireVue, which has developed an automated video interview analysis system. “I think you have to look at the science team behind the work,” says Mr Larsen.

    The problem, experts say, is that to find the best candidates an algorithm has first to be told what “good” looks like in any given organization. Even if it is not given criteria that seem discriminatory, a powerful machine-learning system will quickly be able to copy the characteristics of existing workers. If an organization has favoured white male graduates from well-known universities, the algorithm will learn to select more of the same.

    The growing dependence on automation to judge suitability for everything from a loan to a job worries Yuriy Brun, an associate professor specializing in software engineering. “It takes a lot of the time for a company to put out software but it doesn't know if it is discriminatory” he says. Prof Brun explains that, considering the use of big data, algorithms will unavoidably learn to discriminate.

    Many of those working with robo-recruiters are more optimistic. Kate Glazebrook, the leader and co-founder of Applied, a hiring platform, says her task is to encourage hiring manager to move away from such indicators of quality as schools or universities and move to more evidence-based methods. When candidates complete tests online, Applied hides their names and shows the tests the candidates have completed, question by question, to human assessors. Every stage of the process has been designed to remove prejudice.

    With the same aim, Unilever decided in 2016 to switch to a more automated process for its graduate-level entry programme. Unilever worked with HireVue, Amberjack, which provides and advises on automated recruitment processes, and Pymetrics, another high volume recruitment company, which developed a game-based test in which candidates are scored on their ability to take risks and learn from mistakes, as well as on emotional intelligence. Unilever says the process has increased the ethnic diversity of its listed candidates and has been more successful at selecting candidates who will eventually be hired.

    “The things that we can do right now are impressive, but not as impressive as we're going to be able to do next year or the year after,” says Mr Larsen.

    Still, robo-recruiters must be regularly tested in case prejudice has occurred without anyone realizing it, says Frida Polli, the leader and co-founder of Pymetrics. “The majority of algorithmic tools are most likely causing prejudice to continue existing. The good ones should be examined.”

    If you use social media to chase away loneliness, a new study suggests you're going against the grain.

    We may have heard a lot about the benefits of interacting with others online, but the findings of a study conducted by University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine scientists show a direct relationship between social media usage and feelings of isolation (隔绝). In short, the more time you spend on social media, the lonelier you may feel.

    With increased interaction on a large number of apps that allow for endless virtual connectivity, loneliness seems like the last problem frequent social media users would face, but according to the leader of the study Brain Primack, it has the exact opposite effect.

    "Mental health problems and social isolation are at widespread levels among young adults nowadays," Primack said, "We are naturally social creature, but modem life tends to separate us instead of bringing us together. While it may seem that social media presents opportunities to fill the social void (空隙), I think this study suggests that it may not be the solution people were hoping for."

    Primack and his team examined the social media habits of 1,787 U.S. adults aged 19 to 32 via a questionnaire that asked about the time and frequency they spent on the most popular social media platforms. Eventually, they determined that young adults who are constantly logging into social media reported more feelings of isolation than those with less social media usage. Frequent exposure to unrealistic descriptions on social media instead of face-to-face social interactions may give people the impression that others are living happier, more connected lives, and this may users feel more socially isolated in comparison.

When we are kids, we are constantly being compared to others. Our parents may compare us to our siblings (兄弟姐妹). Our teachers probably compared us to other students. Kids compared us to other kids.

Those comparisons created either a sense of humiliation or a sense of pride. Either way, it has become second-nature. Everything we'd done has been followed by looking around and seeking validation (确认感).

Midway through my psychology PhD program at Cornell University in Ithaca, New York, I felt that I lacked whatever magical ability is required to finish and publish a project. It seemed as though other graduate students were authoring several papers in the time it took me to complete a single experiment. I worked as hard as I could, but my progress seemed to be incremental (渐进式增加的) compared with theirs. When I shared these concerns with my adviser, she had a different take on the situation. "You're not doing anything wrong," she assured me, "you're just pursuing a different kind of research."

Comparing yourself to others is not necessarily a bad thing.

When you catch yourself comparing yourself to others, get curious about the feeling that is being triggered (引起). Is it jealousy? Is it obsession? Is it admiration? Is it love? Is it inspiration? Your triggered feelings will give you a clue as to what is going on within you.

Most likely, you are jealous because you wish you had what it takes to achieve what the other has achieved or to have what they have. Get curious and figure out why you still don't have it and what would it take to get there. It is never a good idea to make yourself wrong for comparing yourself to others or to make yourself wrong for not getting where you wish to be.

But if all this comparison mounts to is bitter jealousy, then your problem is bigger than a simple comparison. Always bear in mind that your only competition is the one in the mirror and—believe me—it is the toughest competition of all.