Making Peace with Your Parents

    As a teen, you are going through big changes physically and mentally. Your interests are expanding（增加；扩大） {#blank#}1{#/blank#}.

    Here is the challenge: Kids need to explore the world in new ways, and parents need to protect them from the dangers that are all out in that world. These conflicts（冲突）can easily set off fireworks in otherwise calm house. Sometimes conflicts can't be avoided. But by paying attention to the building blocks of successful relationships, you can work towards making home a happy and healthy place for you and your parents.

For instance, try to find a time to talk when your parents are not angry, tired, distracted , or hungry. A good time to talk is when you are all relaxed. Timing is everything. If the conversation begins to turn into an argument, you'd better calmly and coolly ask to stop the conversation—for now. {#blank#}2{#/blank#} Listen to what your parents are saying, and repeat it back to them. This shows them that you're listening. {#blank#}3{#/blank#}.

    Respect is the building block of good communication. People who respect each other and care about each other's feelings can disagree without getting things ugly.

{#blank#}4{#/blank#}How do you build trust? Trust comes by actually doing what you say you're going to do. Some teens find that doing fun activities with their parents can improve their relationships. Sometimes we forget that parents are more than rule-makers—they're interesting people who like to watch movies and go shopping—just like their teenagers!

    What do you do if you are trying your best, but your relationship with your parents continues to be rocky（难以维持的；不稳定的）? {#blank#}5{#/blank#}You can find supportive adults, such as a teacher or a coach, who can lead an ear.

    Remember you can only change your own behavior. Your parents are the only ones who can change theirs.

A. It also gives them a chance to clear things up if you're not on the same page.

B. You can pick it up again when everyone's more relaxed.

C. And then you will be able to accept what your parents say.

D. Faced with the challenge, children don't know what to do.

E. You are more likely to get along with your parents and have more independence if your parents believe in you.

F. And your desire to take control of your own life is growing.

G. You may consider seeking outside help.

A

    In 1812, the year Charles Dickens was born, there were 66 novels published in Britain. People had been writing novels for a century—most experts date the first novel to Robinson Crusoe in 1719—but nobody wanted to do it professionally. The steam-powered printing press was still in its early stages; the literacy（识字） rate in England was under 50%. Many works of fiction appeared without the names of the authors, often with something like "By a lady." Novels, for the most part, were looked upon as silly, immoral, or just plain bad.

    In 1870, when Dickens died, the world mourned him as its first professional writer and publisher, famous and beloved, who had led an explosion in both the publication of novels and their readership and whose characters — from Oliver Twist to Tiny Tim— were held up as moral touchstones. Today Dickens' greatness is unchallenged. Removing him from the pantheon（名人堂） of English literature would make about as much sense as the Louvre selling off the Mona Lisa.

    How did Dickens get to the top? For all the feelings readers attach to stories, literature is a numbers game, and the test of time is extremely difficult to pass. Some 60,000 novels were published during the Victorian age, from 1837 to 1901; today a casual reader might be able to name a half-dozen of them. It's partly true that Dickens' style of writing attracted audiences from all walks of life. It's partly that his writings rode a wave of social, political and scientific progress. But it's also that he rewrote the culture of literature and put himself at the center. No one will ever know what mix of talent, ambition, energy and luck made Dickens such a singular writer. But as the 200th anniversary of his birth approaches, it is possible — and important for our own culture—to understand how he made himself a lasting one.

    It happened to me recently. I was telling someone how much I had enjoyed reading Barack Obama's Dreams From My Father and how it had changed my views of our President. A friend I was talking to agreed with me that it was, in his words ,“a brilliantly written book” However, he then went on to talk about Mr. Obama in a way which suggested he had no idea of his background at all. I sensed that I was talking to a book liar.

    And it seems that my friend is not the only one. Approximately two thirds of people have lied about reading a book which they haven't. In the World Book Day's “Report on Guilty Secrets”, Dreams From My Father is at number 9. The report lists ten books, and various authors, which people have lied about reading, and as I'm not one to lie too often (I'd hate to be caught out), I will admit here and now that I haven't read the entire top ten. But I'm pleased to say that, unlike 42 percent of people, I have read the book at number one ,Gorge Orwell's 1984. I think it's really brilliant.

    The World Book Day report also has some other interesting information in it. It says that many people lie about having read Jane Austin Austen, Charles Dickens, Fyodor Dostoevsky (I haven't read him, but haven't lied about it either) and Herman Melville.

    Asked why they lied, the most common reason was to “impress” someone they are speaking to. This could be tricky if the conversation became more in-depth!

    But when asked which authors they actually enjoy, people named J.K. Rowling, John Grisham, Sophie Kinsella (ah, the big sellers, in other words). Forty-two percent of people asked admitted they turned to the back of the book to read the end before finishing this story (I will come clean: I do this and am astonished that 58 percent said they had never done so.).

    Cassie Warren and Jesse Jones will always have a great story to tell their kids about the kindness of strangers and how one stranger in particular made their wedding planning that much sweeter.

    A few weeks ago, as Warren was addressing wedding invitations for her upcoming wedding, she mistakenly used an old address for her aunt and uncle in nearby Eugene, Oregon. But when a stranger received the misaddressed mail, she didn't just throw it in the garbage like many people would have done. Instead, she returned the invitation, along with a sweet note and $20 as a wedding present.

The sender also wrote "Live long and prosper." on the comer of the card—words from "Star Trek", probably because the young couple's wedding invitation shows Jesse holding a light knife from "Star Wars" and Cassie holding a wand (魔杖) in a nod to the "Harry Potter" books.

    The generous stranger also included $20, probably as a little gift for the wedding. The young couple put the money to good use by going out to dinner with a friend who wouldn't be able to attend the wedding.

    Warren said that she was at first confused by the returned wedding invitation. "But after I saw the note, I was just surprised and blessed that she/he would do that for a stranger," Warren said. "Jesse was confused at first, too-he wondered why someone had sent us money, then I read the message to him, and he was shocked and grateful."

    Warren and Jones still don't know the name of the kind stranger, but Warren sent a thank-you note to the same address to let the sender know how much her/his generosity was appreciated. The young couple plan to marry in June and thanks to the kindness of a stranger, their marriage is already off to a sweet start.

    No one knew Prince Edward Street as well as Pierre Dupin. He had delivered milk to the families on the street for thirty years. For the past fifteen years a large white horse named Joseph pulled his milk wagon. Joseph was a gentle horse with beautiful spirit shining out of its eyes, so Pierre named him after Saint Joseph.

    Every morning at five, Pierre arrived at the milk company's stables to find Joseph waiting for him, Pierre would call, “Good morning, my old friend.”, as he climbed into his seat, while Joseph turned his head toward the driver. And the two would go proudly down the street. Without any order from Pierre, the wagon would roll down three streets. Then it turned right for two streets, before turning left to Saint Catherine Street. The horse finally stopped at the first house on Prince Edward Street. There, Joseph would wait perhaps thirty seconds for Pierre to get down off his seat and put a bottle of milk at the front door.

    Pierre knew every one of the forty families that got milk. The cooks knew that Pierre could not read or write; so, instead of leaving orders in an empty milk bottle, they simply sang out if they needed an extra bottle.

    Pierre also had a wonderful memory. When he arrived at the stable he always remembered to tell Jacques, the foreman(领班) of the stables, “The Pacquins took an extra bottle this morning; the Lemoines bought a pint of cream …” Most of the drivers had to make out the weekly bills and collect the money. But Jacques, liking Pierre, never asked him to do this.

    One day the president of the milk company came to inspect the early morning milk deliveries. Jacques pointed to Pierre and said: ”See how the horse listens and how he turns his head toward Pierre? See the look in that horse's eyes? You know, I think those two share a secret. I have often felt it. He is getting old. Maybe he ought to be given a rest, and a small pension.”

    “But of course,” the president laughed. “He has been on this job now for thirty years. All who know him love him. Tell him it is time he rested. He will get his pay every week as before.”

    But Pierre refused to leave his job. He said his life would be nothing if he could not drive Joseph every day. “We are two old men,” he said to Jacques. “Let us wear out together. When Joseph is ready to leave, then I too will do so.”

    Then one cold morning Jacques had terrible news for Pierre. Jacques said, ”Pierre, your horse, Joseph, didn't wake up. He was very old, Pierre.” Jacques said softly. “He is over in his stall, looking very peaceful. Go over and see him.” Pierre took one step forward, then turned. “No ... no ... I cannot see Joseph again. You ..., you don't understand, Jacques.”

    For years Pierre had worn a large heavy cap that came down low over his eyes. It kept out the bitter cold wind. Now, Jacques looked into Pierre's eyes and he saw something that shocked him. He saw a dead, lifeless look in them.

    “Take the day off, Pierre,” Jacques said. Pierre walked to the corner and stepped into the street. There was a warning shout from the driver of a big truck ... there was the screech(尖锐的刹车声) of rubber tires as the truck tried to stop. But Pierre heard nothing.

    Five minutes later a doctor said, “He's dead ..., killed instantly.”

    “I couldn't help it,” the truck driver said. “He walked in front of my truck. He never saw it, I guess. Why, he walked as though he were blind.”

    The doctor bent down. “Blind？Of course, this man has been blind for five years.”  He turned to Jacques, “Didn't you know he was blind？”

    “No ...no ...” Jacques said softly. “None of us knew. Only one ... only one knew－a friend of his, named Joseph ... It was a secret, I think, just between those two.”

    Humans were designed to stand upright. And yet in this modern world, too many of us spend our days with our heads lowered for a simple reason: we're staring at the tiny screen of a smart phone.

    People spend an average of 2 to 4 hours each day with their neck bent while shooting off emails or texts. That's 700 to 1,400 hours a year. The success of social media has led to a rapid development of bad smart phone posture(姿势).

    The average adult head weighs 10 to 12 pounds when it's in the upright position. However, because of the gravity, bending your head at a 15 degree puts 27 pounds of pressure on your spine(脊椎); a 30 degree neck bend could equal 40 pounds of pressure; a 45 degree bend adds the force of 49 pounds, according to the research from Dr. Kenneth Hansraj from New York. These stresses may lead to many problems.

    It's no secret that correct posture is better for your back. According to the researchers, good posture is described as ears aligned(成一条直线) with the shoulders. In proper alignment, spinal stress disappeared. It is the best position for the spine. Standing tall doesn't just make you look better; it improves your health, too. Other studies have found good posture has even been connected to ways of behaving. People who have poorer posture often have poorer physical and emotional health.

    The researchers describe bad posture as “the head in a forward position and the shoulders dropping forward in a rounded position”. Bad posture has been connected to many medical problems, including headaches and other problems, depression and heart disease. This is why Hansraj said it's important to be mindful of your smart phone posture. Though it is nearly impossible to avoid the technologies that cause these problems, people should make an effort to look at their phones with a correct posture.