Make Up Your Mind to Succeed

    Kind-hearted parents have unknowingly left their children defenseless against failure. The generation born between 1980 and 2001 grew up playing sports where scores and performance were played down because “everyone's a winner.” And their report cards sounded more positive  than ever before. As a result, Stanford University professor Carol Dweck, PhD, calls them “the overpraised generation.”

    Dweck has been studying how people deal with failure for 40 years. Her research has led her to find out two clearly different mind-sets that have a great effect on how we react to it. Here's how they work:

    A fixed mind-set is grounded in the belief that talent is genetic – you're a born artist, point guard, or numbers person. The fixed mind-set believes it's sure to succeed without much effort and regards failure as personal shame. When things get difficult, it's quick to blame, lie, and even stay away from future difficulties.

    On the other hand, a growth mind-set believes that no talent is entirely heaven-sent and that effort and learning make everything possible. Because the ego (自尊) isn't on the line as much, the growth mind-set sees failure as a chance rather than shame. When faced with a difficulty, it's quick to rethink, change and try again. In fact, it enjoys this experience.

    We are all born with growth mind-sets. (Otherwise, we wouldn't be able to live in the world.) But parents, teachers, and instructors often push us into fixed mind-sets by encouraging certain actions and misdirecting praise. Dweck's book, Mind-set: The New Psychology of Success, and online instructional program explain this in depth. But she says there are many little things you can start doing today to make sure that your children, grandchildren and even you are never defeated by failure.

    A great invention by an 18-year-old high school student grew out of a simple problem most teenagers meet with.

    “I'm a teenager and I have a cellphone and my cellphone battery always dies，so I was really looking for a way to improve energy storage，” Eesha Khare said on Tuesday. “That's how I came across the super capacitor.”

    The teenager who came from California, and graduated from high school last week，won a $50，000 prize on May 17，2013 at the Intel International Science and Engineering Fair for creating a device that can store enough energy to charge a cellphone in 20 to 30 seconds.

    “It charges very quickly and can store a lot of energy，” Khare said. “The cool thing is that it's a lot thinner than one strand of hair.”

    Khare hasn't used her invention to recharge a cellphone yet，but she used it to power a light-emitting diode (LED) in order to show its capability(容量). If used on cellphones，the supercharger would slide on to the phone's battery to juice it up in a matter of seconds. The technology isn't available to consumers yet，and it could be years until it is.

    At an Intel event in Phoenix，Khare won the Intel Foundation Young Scientist Award，taking second place overall in the world's largest high school science research competition. She beat out more than 1，600 finalists from 70 countries. She said that she has been approached by several companies to continue her research，but she is now focused on attending Harvard University in autumn.

    “Right now，just my education，but hopefully we'll see what happens in the future，” she said about her plans. “I have a lot of interests，so we'll see what I do in the future.”

    The team I work in just has 2 new interns（实习生）, and I happen to be their supervisor.

    After today's lunch break, I saw that one of them was reading things on her smart-phone, maybe on some social network, I guessed. I went to her and said “There's another document here needing translation. Do you have time to finish it for me?”

    That document was not in her assigned workload. But I thought I could let her challenge herself a little bit with it, seeing that she seemed to have time.

    “Yes, I do have time.” She said, “But I'm just an intern.”

    I didn't quite know what to say back then. After a while I mumbled（咕哝） “Right. Yes.” And I turned around and left.

    I recalled the time when I was an intern for the first time. I, too, managed to finish my workload so fast, just like her. So I asked my supervisor “Is there anything else that I can help?” And she happened to have a plan to make. But she didn't have time. So she let me do the research and make a draft for her.

    I was not very familiar with the job but still tried to carry it out based on my understanding and make it as professional as possible. And my supervisor was really satisfied with the draft. Later, she told me “You saved me a lot of time. I didn't need to create it from scratch.” And she told me in details how I should have done the plan differently. I learned a lot about the operation in the process. After that, she had come to trust me completely. I got my current job all because of her recommendation.

    Yes, I was just an intern with a low salary. But I bought a better future with my extra labor.

    There's a kind of poverty called shortsightedness.

Dear Maya Shao­ming,

    To me, June 6, 1990 is a special day. My long­awaited dream came true the minute your father cried, "A girl！"You, little daughter, are the link to our female line, the legacy of another woman's pain and sacrifice 31 years ago.

    Let me tell you about your Chinese grandmother. Somewhere in Hong Kong, in the late fifties, a young waitress found herself pregnant(怀孕) by a cook. She carried the baby to term, suffered to give it birth, and kept the little girl for the first three months of her life. I like to think that my mother—your grandmother—loved me and fought to raise me on her own, but the daily struggle was too hard. Worn down by the demands of the new baby and perhaps the constant threat of starvation, she made the painful decision to give away her girl so that both of us might have a chance for a better life.

    Having a baby in her unmarried state would have brought shame on the family in China, so she probably kept my existence a secret. Once I was out of her life, it was as if I had never been born. And so you and your brother and I are the missing leaves on a family tree.

    Do they ever wonder if we exist?

    Before I was two, I was adopted by an Anglo couple. I grew like a wild weed and grasped all the opportunities they had to offer—books, music, education, church life and community activities. In a family of blue­eyed blonds, though, I stood out like a sore thumb. Moody and impatient, burdened by fears that none of us realized resulted from my early years of need, I was not an easy child to love. My mother and I conflicted countless times over the years, but gradually came to see one another as real human beings with faults and talents. Lacking a mirror image in the mother who raised me, I had to seek my identity as a woman on my own. The Asian American community has helped me regain my double identity.

    But part of me will always be missing: my beginnings, my personal history, all the delicate details that give a person her origin. Nevertheless, someone gave me a lucky name "Siu Wai". "Siu" means "little", and "Wai" means "clever". Therefore, my baby name was "Clever little one". Who chose those words? Who cared enough to note my arrival in the world?

    I lost my Chinese name for 18 years. It was Americanized for convenience to "Sue". But like an ill­fitting coat, it made me uncomfortable. I hated the name. But even more, I hated being Chinese. It took many years to become proud of my Asian origin and work up the courage to take back my birth name. That, plus a little knowledge of classroom Cantonese, is all the Chinese culture I have to offer you. Not white, certainly, but not really Asian, I try to pave the way between the two worlds and bridge the gap for you. Your name, "Shao­ming", is very much like mine—"Shao" means "little". And "ming" is "bright", as in a shining sun or moon. Whose lives will you brighten little Maya? Your past is more complete than mine and each day I cradle you in your babyhood, generously giving you the loving care I lacked for my first two years. Sweet Maya, it doesn't matter what you "become" later on. You have already fulfilled my wildest dreams.

    I love you,

Mummy

    When pups are between 2 and 3months old, their mothers will abandon them for any number of reasons. With no mother to watch out for them, infant (婴儿) mortality of pups under one year skyrockets (飞涨) to around 90%. So, only about 10% of motherless, homeless pups survive.

    Without mothers, how are these abandoned pups supposed to survive? For the study, researchers Clive Wynne at Arizona State, Nadine Chersini at Utecht University, and Nathan Hal at Texas Tech University brought in 51 college students and asked them to rate the attractiveness of headshots (头部特写) of puppies at different ages.

    The pups peaked at different ages, but they were all ranked likable between six to eight weeks, since newly abandoned pups are competing with each other for human heartstrings (怜悯), evolution says they should be most likable around 6 and 11 weeks. This is around the time they are weaned (断奶) and let go of by their mothers.

    There are a few characteristics that humans find particularly adorable across species: big, forward-facing eyes, floppy and unstable limbs (肢), and a soft, rounded body shape. We're also keen to scream when animals have large heads in comparison to their bodies, and this reaction goes back to evolution.

    Called kinderschema (婴儿萌), these qualities are also apparent in human babies and necessary for their survival. The characteristics activate the decision-making part of the brain to encourage you to protect and nurture the baby. At the same time, the brain's pleasure center releases dopamine (多巴胺). With these two reactions, your brain makes you want to protect the baby and rewards you for doing so. With your protection, the baby can survive.

Your Path to Emotional Maturity(成熟)

Emotions play a critical part in our lives and are contagious(传染) unless you know how to actually control them. In order to grow and thrive(茁壮成长), you must learn to be emotionally intelligent. {#blank#}1{#/blank#}. 

Focus Your Efforts On Self-evolution

Just like you, it is completely normal for everyone else to have their own be-liefs and opinions. Keeping that in mind, it's better to understand that you can-not change others, no matter how hard you try. Even if you try changing others, you could be hurting yourself in the process. {#blank#}2{#/blank#}. 

Try Using"I"Statements

{#blank#}3{#/blank#}. Use"I"statements like"I feel miserable and heartbroken"instead of"You make me feel miserable and heartbroken. "This approach conveys your e-motions effectively without aggression, showcasing emotional maturity. 

{#blank#}4{#/blank#}

People sometimes interact with us as if we are mind readers, especially in re-lationships. Your partner may expect you to understand their desires, which can be challenging. Just as you aren't a mind reader, others aren't either. You need to communicate your needs to other people, and they need to do the same with you. Share your needs with your loved ones and observe the positive changes. 

Avoid Negative People

You are known by the company you keep, and this is always true. {#blank#}5{#/blank#}. If surrounded by negative people that only bring others down, then you will always feel miserable. In order to be emotionally intelligent, you must have a good and supporting company by your side. Steer clear of people who emotionally manipulate others. 

Whenever you feel something like that, cut ties with them immediately. 

A. Communicate Your Needs

B. Always Prioritize(优先考虑) Self-care

C. If surrounded by happy and motivated people, you will always be happy

D. When upset, express your feelings openly but in a non-aggressive manner

E. The strategy in this stressful situation is to focus on others instead of yours

F. Taking full responsibility for your actions is how you become emotionally mature

G. To enhance emotional maturity and happiness, self-change is the best course of action