Before I had my son, I spent two years working with children with disabilities. I learned that shouting and threats of punishment would result in a disaster. Coming up against their behaviour could only make the job harder and their behaviour more extreme. I found something that worked, though.

    There was a very naughty boy in the nursery and a teacher who was generally very confident with the children was asked to take charge of him. One day the boy joined a session in the room next to mine. His appearance created an atmosphere of tension. He spent the entire session running around, hitting and kicking, and destroying property.

    I was in the craft room working with some other children when my co-worker told me that this boy's teacher was in tears, and could not get control of the situation. As we were talking，the boy ran in. I told my co-worker that I would take care of him.

    I closed the door. He was full of energy, throwing things around and making a huge mess. But I could see that he was doing all these to annoy me. He needed connection, and this was the only way he knew how to ask for it. So I sat back down and kept quiet. Then he slowed down and began making a rocket. I talked to him about it. We continued like this for a few minutes before I slipped into the conversation:

     “So what happened today?”

    It was purely a question, no blame or anger in my tone. I believe that if I had criticized him, the gate that was slowly opening would have shut firmly closed. He told me that the teacher didn't let him do what he knew well due to safety but asked him to do what he disliked. He also admitted that he had enjoyed making her run around and saw it as a game. I explained that his teacher had not seen it as a game and was very upset. This again was stated simply as a fact. I suggested that next time he had a session, he talk about what he hoped to do at the start，which might be easier for everyone. He agreed and was quiet for a moment. Then he looked at me with tears in his eyes before quietly asking if he could go to find his teacher to apologize.

    The meaning of silence varies among cultural groups. Silences may be thoughtful, or they may be empty when a person has nothing to say. A silence in a conversation may also show stubbornness, uneasiness, or worry. Silence may be viewed by some cultural groups as extremely uncomfortable; therefore attempts may be made to fill every gap (间隙) with conversation. Persons in other cultural groups value silence and view it as necessary for understanding a person's needs.

    Many Native Americans value silence and feel it is a basic part of communicating among people, just as some traditional Chinese and Thai persons do. Therefore, when a person from one of these cultures is speaking and suddenly stops, what maybe implied (暗示) is that the person wants the listener to consider what has been said before continuing. In these cultures, silence is a call for reflection.

    Other cultures may use silence in other ways, particularly when dealing with conflicts among people or in relationships of people with different amounts of power. For example, Russian, French, and Spanish persons may use silence to show agreement between parties about the topic under discussion. However, Mexicans may use silence when instructions are given by a person in authority rather than be rude to that person by arguing with him or her. In still another use, persons in Asian cultures may view silence as a sign of respect, particularly to an elder or a person in authority.

    Nurses and other care-givers need to be aware of the possible meanings of silence when they come across the personal anxiety their patients may be experiencing. Nurses should recognize their own personal and cultural construction of silence so that a patient's silence is not interrupted too early or allowed to go on unnecessarily. A nurse who understands the healing (治愈) value of silence can use this understanding to assist in the care of patients from their own and from other cultures.

    Mrs. Blake teaches English in a large school in the inner area of a big city on the west of coast. Even since she was a young girl, she has wanted to become a teacher. She has taught eight years now and hasn't changed her mind. After she graduated from high school， she went on to college. Four years later，she received her bachelor's degree （B A） in English and her teaching certificate（证书）. Then she went to teach in the secondary schools of her state. In the summers，Mrs. Blake takes more classes； she hopes to get a master's degree （M A）. With an MA，she will receive a higher salary and if possible， she hopes to get a doctor's degree as well. The school day at Mrs. Blake's high school，like that in many high schools in the United States，is divided into one hour each. Mrs. Blake must teach five of these periods. During her free period，which for her is from 2 to 3 P.M. ，Mrs. Blake must meet with parents，make out examinations，check assignments at all，Mrs. Blake works continuously from the time she arrives at school in the morning till the time she leaves for home late in the afternoon.

    When Hai started college, he weighed over 250 pounds Healthy food choices were difficult for him, and he was emotionally distraught (忧心忡忡). However, when he left home for college, he was able for the first time to start taking his life and weight into his own hands.

    He started by shopping at a local farmers' market, an experience that inspired him profoundly. The idea that a farmer's market represents local, sustainable, healthy food with a human connection where you can interact with the people that grow your produce was extremely appealing to him, and he began to think about the food that people at his university were eating. From what he saw at farmers' markets, Hai realized that dining hall food was not “real” food.A lot of it is frozen or processed, and has unhealthy additives. His ideas continued to develop as he started taking classes about food sustainability at university, and after the summer of 2014 during which he cooperated with other students9 he launched into his senior year at the University of California full force with the Real Food Challenge (RFC) campaign, a project he co-founded that aims to reinvest university spending in food that is “real”: ecologically-sound, community-based, humane, and fair; as opposed to those traditional purchases with those unhealthy additives and processed products.

    Not only has Hai started a movement of change across the university dining system, but he has also grown extremely as an individual，now with strong leadership abilities and great vision. In addition, after he started learning about food sustainability and taking action at university, Hai has lost over 100 pounds, and has been able to start enjoying activities such as backpacking and swimming that were not a possibility for him previously. He is confident instead of distraught now.

    It seems that no one can live a happy life without friendship. While a great number of people expect others to be their friends, they don't give friendship back. That is why some friendships don't last long. To have a friend, you must learn to be one. You must learn to treat your friend the way you want your friend to treat you. Learning to be a good friend means learning three rules: be honest; be generous; be understanding.

    Honesty is where a good friendship starts. Friends must be able to trust one another. If you do not tell the truth, people usually find out. If a friend finds out that you haven't been honest, you may lose your friend's trust. Good friends always depend on one another to speak and act honestly.

    Generosity means sharing and sharing makes a friendship grow. You do not have to give your lunch money or your clothes. Naturally you will want to share your ideas and feelings. These can be very valuable to a friend. They tell your friend what is important to you. By sharing them, you help your friend know better.

    Sooner or later everyone needs understanding and help with each other. Something may go wrong at school. Talking about the problem can make it easier to solve. Turning to a friend can be a first step in solving the problem. So to be a friend you must listen and understand. You must try to put yourself in your friend's place so that you can understand the problem better.

    No two friendships are exactly alike. But all true friendships have three things in common. If you plan to keep your friends, you must practice honesty, generosity and understanding.

    Winter is the perfect time to see Washington in a different light. The crowds have thinned, and those humid 95-degree days are long gone. And the National Zoo is a different experience because of 500,000 bulbs that illuminate the annual Zoo-lights celebration.

    Eco-friendly twinkly lights will decorate zoo walkways, trees and buildings. Sculptures featuring popular zoo residents, including elephants and giant pandas, light up in time to music.

    If walking and watching isn't enough excitement, head to Lion & Tiger Hill, home to a 150-foot-long snow-less tubing run. Rides on the trackless train and the carousel also will be available.

    Don't forget to visit a few of the zoo's real animals. The Kids' Farm, Reptile Discovery Center, Small Mammal House, Think Tank (orangutans) and Great Cats exhibit will be open in the evening. There's no guarantee, however, that the animals will be as lively as the humans in attendance.

    When: Friday to January 1 (except December 24-25), 5 to 9 p.m.

    Where: 3001 Connecticut Ave. NW, Washington, D.C.

    How much: Admission is free; limited parking is $22. Charges for tubing, train rides and carousel rides.

    For more information: A parent can visit nationalzoo.si.edu/events/zoolights.

    More ZooLights celebrations: For those outside of the D.C. area, here are some links to other zoos with similar events (not all are free):

    Columbus Zoo, Ohio: Through January 1.

    Detroit Zoo, Michigan: Through December 31.

    Denver Zoo, Colorado: December 2-January 1.

    Houston Zoo, Texas: Through January 15.