On the eve of our daughters' weddings, I gave both of them what Iconsidered to be excellent marital advice: never leave your husband unsupervised(无人监督的) with pruning shears (修枝剪).

If only I had taken my own advice. I recently let my guard down. Thirty-some years of marriage can do that toa woman. Give a man pruning shears and electric trimmers (电动修剪器) and he will givenew meaning to “armed and dangerous.”

One day earlier this year, my husband saidthat the crab apple tree was dead.

“Why do you think it is dead?” I asked.

“Look at it. There's not a leaf on it.”

“There's not a leaf on anything. It'sMarch,” I said.

“It looked sick last fall and with thisbitter winter we had, I'm convinced it's dead.”

The truth is he's never liked thecrabapple. Sure, it has beautiful blooms in the spring, but then it gets adisease, the leaves curl, and it drops those little apples that sit on thedriveway.

Each passing week he pronounced the treedead. Eventually I began to believe him. Though he agreed it would be aregrettable loss, there was a twinkle in his eye. He armed himself a couple ofweeks ago and began trimming. A branch here, a branch there, a small limb, thena large limb. I watched and then decided to check the wood on some of thebranches closer to the trunk. I broke one off and saw green.

The crabapple was not dead. It just hadn'thad time to leaf out. The tree was now falling to one side, but it was notdead. I would have told him so, but he had moved on to a maple. Once the manstarts, he can't stop. One trim leads to another.

“Please, stop!” I called.

He smiled and nodded, but he couldn't hearbecause he had started the hedge (树篱) trimmers and was getting ready to fix a line of hedges.

Zip (飕飕声), zip, zip.

“What do you think?” he shouted.

“It's supposed to be a privacy hedge; nowall that will be private are our ankles.”

He started the trimmers again.

“Stop!” I called, “Come back!”

“Why?” he shouted.

“You're in the neighbor's yard.”

    You've flown halfway around the world; you've sniffed out this place that nobody in Falongland or Thailand seems to have ever heard of; so what on earth is there to do here? You consider this question as you sink into an old wooden beach chair that holds you above the sand.

    It was a long journey from Bangkok to Huaplee. By the time you found the bus station and got yourself sorted out, it took almost as long as the flight from Falongland.

    Huaplee is located just south of Hua Hin, about two hundred kilometres from Bangkok, down the west side of the Gulf of Thailand. Not many tourists find this place，and the ones that do wonder if finding it has been their purpose all along.

    There's an apparent laziness that surrounds you here. It's what this place offers, and it，s free of charge. The small waves that tap the shoreline seem to slow everything down. You settle into your beach chair in preparation for a long rest. You sit there and watch the sea.

It's early afternoon, so the cook comes out and asks what you'd like to eat this evening. Before long he's rushed off to the market to buy the ingredients for whatever it was that you ordered—every meal fresh and to order. No menu here.

    There is no poolside noise here but just that wonderfully warm, clear blue sea. There⁹ s no street noise. The only sounds are the murmurs of nature.For now you just count your blessings (福祉)，listing them in the sand with your toe (脚趾)• You don't have to worry about being late for work. You don't have to do anything.

    The beach to your right stretches off to the horizon (地平线)，slowly narrowing to nothingness only to re-emerge again on your left, now steadily widening until it covers the chair beneath you. Sand to your left and sand to your right; it's unbroken, endless. No start, no end, just sand, sun,and peace. Step off it, and you re-enter the world of traffic, stress, work，and hurry.

    Normally you，re the type who can，t sit still for more than ten minutes, but you're on Huaplee Lazy Beach now and, in the right frame of mind, it stretches all the way around theworld.

     “How could it take me so long to find it?” you wonder.

    In the story of “The crow and the Pitcher” from Aesop's Fables, a thirsty crow(乌鸦) drops stones into a narrow jar to raise the low level of water inside so he can take a drink.

    Now scientists have evidence to back up that story. New Caledonian crows actually do understand how to make water displacement work to their advantage, experiments showed. The results suggest that the birds are, at least in some aspects, as smart as first-graders, according to the study.

    Researchers, led by Sarah Jelbert at the university of Auckland in New Zealand, presented six crows with tubes filled with water. Inside the tubes, a worm or piece of meat on a piece of wood was floating, just out of reach of the crow. In front of the tubes, the researchers arranged a bunch of heavy rubber erasers that would sink, and light plastic objects that would float. The crows found out that they could drop the heavy objects into the tubes in order to raise the water level and get their snack.

    However, the birds handled awkwardly in experiments in which they could choose to drop objects in either a wide tube or a narrow tube to get a snack, the researchers said. Dropping objects into narrow tube would lift the water level by a greater amount and put the treat within reach after just two drops. In contrast, it took around seven drops to raise the snack to the same level in the wide tube. The crows obviously didn't realize this, and most of them went for the wide tube first.

    Previous studies showed that chimps and human children can solve similar tasks. In a 2011 study, chimps and kids found out that they could put water into a tube to reach a peanut that was floating in small amount of water at the bottom.

    Sometimes you'll hear people say that you can't love others until you love yourself. Sometimes you'll hear people say that you can't expect someone else to love you until you love yourself. Either way, you've got to love yourself first and this can be tricky. Sure we all know that we're the apple of our parents' eyes, and that our Grandmas think we're great talents and our Uncle Roberts think that we will go to the Olympics, but sometimes it's a lot harder to think such nice thoughts about ourselves. If you find that believing in yourself is a challenge, it is time you build a positive sell-image and learn to love yourself.

    Self-image is your own mind's picture of yourself. This image includes the way you look, the way you act, the way you talk and the way you think. Interestingly, our self-images are often quite different from the images others hold about us. Unfortunately, most of these images are more negative than they should be. Thus changing the way you think about yourself is the key to changing your self-image and your whole world.

    The best way to defeat a passive self-image is to step back and decide to stress your successes. That is, make a list if you need to, but write down all of the great things you do every day. Don't allow doubts to occur in it.

    It very well might be that you are experiencing a negative self-image because you can't move past one flaw or weakness that you see about yourself. Well, roll up your sleeves and make a change of it as your primary task. If you think you're silly because you aren't good at math, find a tutor. If you think you're weak because you can't run a mile, get to the track and practice. If you think you're dull because you don't wear the latest trends, buy a few new clothes. But remember, just because you think it doesn't mean it's true.

    The best way to get rid of a negative serf-image is to realize that your image is far objective, and to actively convince yourself of your positive qualities. Changing the way you think and working on those you need to improve will go a long way towards promoting positive self-image. When you can pat(拍)yourself on the back, you'll know you're well on your way. Good luck!

    The following are some of history's most inspirational women recommended by Therese Borchard.

    Who Was Mother Teresa? ￥66.00

    Born in Macedonia, Mother Teresa(1910—1997)taught at St. Mary's High School, in Calcutta, India, but was forced to do something about the suffering and poverty. In 1950 she founded the Missionaries of Charity. Although her devotion to the poor is inspiring, it's her persistence(坚持不懈)through years of doubt, as recorded in her private journals, that inspired me the most.

    The Diary of a Young Girl ￥55.10

    In The Diary of a Young Girl, Anne Frank (1929—1945) documented her life in hiding from 1942 to 1944 during the German Occupation of the Netherlands. She is a role model of honesty, strength, and hope for me — that even in the most miserable circumstances, you can lead with love.

    A Life of Discovery ￥111.10

    "Do one thing every day that scares you," wrote Eleanor Roosevelt (1884—1962). She had a lot to choose from, as her life was full of challenges. Eleanor inspires me to bravely deal with problems that matter to me, and to find her way through life's trials and hardships with gracefulness and determination.

    Story of My Life ￥32.50

    A deaf-blind author from Alabama, Helen Keller (1880—1968) provides a powerful example of a woman through two major disabilities to achieve a meaningful life. "We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world," she said. Her attitude of hope and optimism inspires me to use my suffering to become a better and wiser person, to go beyond my pain into service of others.

"Don't get dirty!" was once often shouted by parents angrily watching their children ruin their best clothes. It was unavoidable that children's whites would turn brown before the day was over. 

Today, many parents may secretly wish their children had the chance to pick up a bit of dirt. With the rise of city life, and the attraction of video games and social media, contact with nature is much less than in the past. For many, there is simply no opportunity to get muddy. According to recent research, the dirt outside is teaming with friendly microorganisms (微生物) that can train the immune (免疫的) system and build the body against illnesses, such as anxiety. 

These findings show that outdoor exercise is not only beneficial because of the chance to run around free—but that certain natural materials, such as soil and mud, also have powerful microorganisms which have positive effect on children's health. Outdoor play can also offer valuable learning experiences. For example, the act of rubbing and shaping materials like mud or sand can help children develop their senses and movement. 

Such activities—away from the house or classroom—may also help children to find ways to deal with emotions that may be hard to explore in other environments. So-called "Sandtray Therapy (沙盘疗法)", which includes using sand to express one's thoughts and feelings, is an accepted form of guidance for children who are struggling to speak out their inner emotions. 

Surprisingly, people who spent most of their childhood in the countryside show a better reply to stressful events like public speaking compared with those who grew up in cities. "The people who grew up in cities are kind of ‘walking time bombs' when facing the stress we meet today. However, people who have spent lots of time in nature since childhood are generally stronger in recovery and more positive." says Christopher Lowry, a professor of University of Colorado Boulder.