There are good reasons to value our friendships.Some years ago a public-opinion research firm,Roper Starch Worldwide,asked 2007 people to name one or two things that said the most about themselves.Friends far outranked homes jobs, clothes and cars.

    “Ironically,” says Brant R.Burleson, professor of communication at Purdue University in West Lafayette, Ind., “the better friends you are, the more likely you'll face conflicts.” And the outcome can be what you don't want—an end to the relationship.

    The good news is that most troubled friendships can be mended.

    Swallow your pride. It wasn't easy, but that's what Denise Moreland of Hickam Air Force Base in Hawaii did when a friendship turned sour.For nearly four months,Moreland,45,had watched over Nora Huizenga's two young daughters, who were living with their father on the base,while Huizenga,40,completed training as a dental hygienist in Nevada.“I felt honored to be asked to step in,” Moreland says.

    “When Huizenga returned at Christmas,” Moreland recalls,“I had so much to tell her, but she never called.”

    One daughter had a birthday party, but Moreland wasn't invited. “I felt like I'd been used,” she says.At first, Moreland swore to avoid Huizenga.Then she decided to swallow her pride and let her friend know how she felt. Huizenga admitted that she'd been so worried about being separated from her family that she'd been blind to what her friend had done to help her. Today she says, “I would never have figured out what happened if Denise hadn't called me on it.”

    When a friend hurts you, your instinct is to protect yourself.But that makes it harder to solve problems,explains William Wilmot,author of Relational Communication.“Most of us are relieved when differences are brought out in the open.”

    Apologize when you're wrong—even if you've also been wronged.But over the course of a friendship, even the best people make mistakes. “We don't think clearly when we're arguing,” says Michael Lang,a professional mediator (调解人) in Pittsburgh. Instead, says Lang, ask: “What's going on? This doesn't make sense.”

    See things from your friend's point of view. Sociologists Rebecca Adams Rosemary and Blieszner interviewed 53 adults who each had many friendships lasting decades. “We were curious how these people managed to sustain strong friendships for so long,” says Blieszner. Tolerance is key, the researchers learned.” It's surprising how often a dispute results from a simple misunderstanding,” adds psychotherapist Anne Frenkel.

    Accept that friendships change. “Friendships change as our needs and lifestyles change,” Wilmot observes.

    Making friends can sometimes seem easy,says Yager.The hard part is keeping the connections strong during the natural ups and downs that affect all relationships.Her suggestion: Consider friendship an honor and a gift,and worth the effort to treasure and nurture.

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    You can't always predict a heavy rain or remember your umbrella. But designer Mikhail Belyaev doesn't think that forgetting to check the weather forecast before heading out should result in you getting wet. That's why he created lampbrella, a lamp post with its own rain sensing umbrella.

    The designer says he came up with the idea after watching people get wet on streets in Russia. “Once, I was driving on a central Saint Petersburg street and saw the street lamps lighting up people trying to hide from the rain. I thought it would be appropriate to have a canopy（伞蓬）built into a street lamp.” he said.

    The lampbrella is a standard-looking street lamp fitted with an umbrella canopy with a built-in electric motor which can open or close the umbrella on demand. Sensors（传感器）first ensure that it starts raining and the motors open up in response to their sensors and then people can protect themselves from the rain under the canopies.

    In addition to the rain sensor, there's also a 360° motion sensor on the fiberglass street lamp which detects whether anyone's using the lampbrella. After three minutes of not being used, the canopy is closed.

    According to the designer, the lampbrella would move at a relatively low speed, so as not to cause harm to the pedestrians. Besides, it would be grounded to protect from possible lightning strike. Each lampbrella would offer enough shelter for several people. Being installed（安装）at 2 meters off the ground, it would only be a danger for the tallest of pedestrians.

    While there are no plans to take lampbrella into production, Belyaev says he recently introduced his creation to one Moscow Department, and insists his creation could be installed on any street where a lot of people walk but there are no canopies to provide shelter.

    Say you're in the supermarket parking lot，holding your baby，bags of goods，and trying to open your car. A stranger walks up and says，" Here，let me hold your baby." Should you let him?

    According to a new New York University study，knowing whether or not to trust someone is so important that we can tell whether a face is trustworthy before we even consciously know it's there. The researchers knew from previous studies that people are fairly similar when it comes to how they judge a face's trustworthiness. They wanted to find out whether that would be true if people only saw a face for a quick moment—an amount of time so short that it would prevent making a conscious judgment.

    To carry out their study，the researchers monitored the amygdala (扁桃腺结构) of 37 volunteers while showing them 300 faces for 33 milliseconds each. Those faces had already been tested with a different set of 10 subjects，who saw them for much longer. In those earlier tests，people agreed about whether to trust each face. In this new study，fascinatingly，different parts of the amygdala lit up when a subject saw an untrustworthy face and a trustworthy one—and it lit up more when the face in question was suspicious (可疑的).

    " Faces that appear likely to cause harm are suddenly tracked by the amygdala，so it could then quickly change other brain processes and make fast responses to people—approach or avoid，" says Jon Freeman，the study's senior author. "Our talents for making instant judgments could either come from birth or be learned from the social environment."

    So should you trust the guy in the parking lot? Your brain already knows.

    I grew up in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn. When the holiday decorations went up, there were houses on my block with trees lit up for Christmas in front yards and behind living room windows. I was born in a Jewish family. Even though I received eight presents for Hanukkah (an eight-day Jewish holiday in November or December), it just wasn't fair. My friends had beautiful trees with lights and presents brought by a man in a red suit. I didn't have a tree, and I lived in an apartment building, so I had no chimney(烟囱).

    That year, some neighbors bought a Christmas tree, but it was too tall for their living rooms. They cut off the top and, knowing I wanted to celebrate Christmas, gave the top to my family. After my parents fell asleep, I opened a window in our apartment. I imagined Santa could park his sleigh(雪橇) on our fire escape. When I woke up the next morning, the window was closed and Santa had delivered a present. I can't even remember what it was, but my memory of the morning lasts.

    My relationship with Santa took a break until my daughter, Amanda, was born in 1992. My wife and I saw no reason to deprive(剥夺) her of meeting Santa. In 1998, a friend of mine portrayed(扮演) Santa at the South Street Seaport in Manhattan. He told me to stop by with my wife and daughter, and asked for their names in advance so he could greet them. When he saw us at the seaport, he greeted us by our names. My daughter's mouth opened wide and she pulled back. Maybe she was too young to appreciate this. But other families waiting to see him seemed delighted by his appearance and the gifts he brought.

    My two children are now grown up and do not visit Santa, and we do not have a Christmas tree, yet our family still enjoys the holiday. On Christmas Eve, in the spirit of the night, we leave a plate of my favorite cookies on the kitchen table in hopes Santa will leave a present.

    LOS ANGELES, Nov. 12 (Xinhua)—Legendary comic book writer Stan Lee has died at the age of 95, according to media reports on Monday.

    Lee, born in Stanley Lieber on Dec. 28, 1922, began his career in 1939 and joined the Marvel Comics in 1961.

    He is considered as one of the most legendary names in the history of comic books and the leading creative force behind the rise of Marvel Comics. He co-created iconic fictional characters such as Spider-Man, X-Men, the Avengers, and many more.

    Lee's characters often have super powers, but they also have weaknesses. They were humans, not gods. They not only struggled to save the world, but also to pay their bills, make friends, and hold jobs. This made Marvel comic book heroes stand apart from its competitor DC, which produced the seemingly perfect heroes like Superman and Wonder Woman. Those superheroes have been adapted into blockbuster films, most of which were made after Disney acquired Marvel in a 4-billion-dollar deal in 2009.

    In a statement, Bob Iger, chairman and CEO of the Walt Disney Company said Stan Lee was as extraordinary as the characters he created.

Marvel also praised Lee on its website by putting on one of Lee's famous quotes, which goes, "I used to be embarrassed because I was just a comic-book writer while other people were building bridges or going on to medical careers. And then I began to realize: entertainment is one of the most important things in people's lives. Without it, they might go off the deep end. I feel that if you're able to entertain, you're doing a good thing. "

Praise from his Hollywood peers and colleagues was generous. President of Marvel Studios Kevin Feige appreciated Lee's unparalleled impact on the industry. "No one has had more of an impact on my career than Stan Lee, " Feige said. "Our thoughts are with his family and the millions of fans who have been forever touched by Stan's genius, charisma and heart. "