We all believe we listen well and yet many times we feel others are not listening to us. However, listening goes in both directions—you may believe you are listening well, but how often have you completely forgotten what was said to you? {#blank#}1{#/blank#}

Make eye contact.

    {#blank#}2{#/blank#} when People talk, they put out visual clues that add to the conversation and meaning of their words.

Stop talking.

    You can't listen, talk and at the same time completely receive the meaning of the other person's words. {#blank#}3{#/blank#}

React without words.

    Let the other person know you are listening through physical reactions, such as head nods, smiles, frowns and eye movement.{#blank#}4{#/blank#}

Concentrate.

    Concentrate on what the other person is saying. Clear your mind of other thoughts and emotions and focus on the conversation at hand. Be in the moment of that conversation, and don't think about what you want to say back.

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    Behave as an effective listener. The more you continue to behave as a listener, the more you will be an effective listener.

    On my first job as sports editor for the Montpelier Leader Enterprise (MLE), I didn't get a lot of fan mail, so my attention was caught by a letter on my desk one morning.

    When I opened it, I read: “Sweet piece of writing on the Tigers. Keep up the good work.” It was signed by Don Wolfe, the sports editor Because I was a teenager (being paid the grand total of 15 cents a column inch), his words could not have been more inspiring, I kept the letter in my desk drawer until it got old. Whenever I doubted I had the right stuff to a writer,I would reread Don's note and walk on air again.

    Later, when I got to know him, I learned that Don made a habit of writing a quick, encouraging note to people in all walks of life, “When I make others feel good about themselves, ” he told me, “I feel good, too.”

    Over the years, I've tried to copy Don and write uplifting words. In a world too often cold and unresponsive, such notes bring warmth.

    Why are positive note writer in such short supply? My guess is that many who shy away from the practice are too self-conscious. They are afraid they will be misunderstood. Thus it may cause troubles and problems. And it sounds insincere on the phone, Also, writing takes time；it is far easier to pick up the phone.

    The drawback of phone calls, of course, is that they do not last. A note attaches more importance to our well-wishing. It is a matter of record, and our words can be read more than savored (回味) and treasured, and they bring strength and love to us.

    Today I sent a warm letter to my old boss. I don't know if it will make his day, but it made mine. As my friend Don Wolfe said, “Making others feel good about themselves also make me feel good too. ”

The Lost Rules of Etiquette

    Etiquette, or good manners, used to be the glue that held society together{#blank#}1{#/blank#}Sadly, these days it has mostly gone by the wayside. This list is several best rules of etiquette that have now disappeared.

Opening the Door

    In days gone by, a gentleman would always open doors for ladies{#blank#}2{#/blank#}This has now almost entirely disappeared-- and it is pot entirely the fault of the men. I have seen women laugh at men for opening a door for them. They seem to be confusing manners with chauvinism(大男子主义)．

Writing Thank-You Notes

    In days gone by, whenever a person received a gift, they would write a thank-you note as soon as possible{#blank#}3{#/blank#}Parents would sit children down after a birthday or Christmas and coach them in their first thank-you note. It is a shame that gift giving has now become a virtual obligation and the idea of a thank-you note would be laughed at.
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         We seem to have completely lost the concept of correct timing when it comes to parties these days{#blank#}5{#/blank#} After all, a party normally has a guest of honor-this is usually the oldest woman present. It was considered extremely rude in the past to leave a party before the guest of honor-and once the guest of honor left, it was a signal to all that they should begin their own preparations to leave.

A. Arriving on Time.

B. Leaving at the Right Time.

C. People leave with various excuses.

D. It enabled people to get on well with each other.

E. This rule was true even if the giver was a relative.

F. It could be the lady they were driving, or a stranger.

G. We've thrown away the concept of a guest of honor at will.

    Sometimes we can get so caught up in the stress and worry of our personal lives that our minds become too confused to operate effectively.This is especially dangerous in a test-taking situation.After hours of reading and studying,our brains can lock up in a state of overload.

    In a stressful situation it's often a must to clear your mind completely to allow your brain to refresh itself and recalibrate all of its functions.But when you're tense,clearing your mind isn't so easy!Try this relaxation technique if you think your brain has seized up from information overload.

    ⒈Set aside at least five minutes for quiet "clearing" time.If you're at school,see if you can put your head down somewhere or find an empty room or quiet space.If necessary,set a watch (or phone) alarm or ask a friend to tap you on the shoulder at a designated time.

    ⒉Think of a time or place that puts you into a complete state of peace.This place will vary from person to person.Have you ever sat on the beach watching the waves come in and realized you've "zoned out" fora while?This is the sort of experience you're looking for.Other experiences that make us zone out could be: Sitting in the dark and staring at Christmas tree lights—remember how peaceful that feels?

    ⒊Cover your eyes and go to your "place".If you are at school preparing for a test before class,you may simply rest your elbows on the desk and put your hands over your eyes.For some people,it may not be a good idea to put your head down.(You might fall asleep!)

    Don't let any thoughts creep into your head.As soon as you start to think about a test problem,clear away the thought and concentrate on your peaceful place.

    ⒋Snap out of it!Remember,this is not nap time.The point here is to refresh your brain.After five or ten minutes of clearing time,take a brisk walk or take a drink of water to re-energize your mind and body.Stay relaxed and resist the urge to think about the things that are stressing you out or clogging your brain.Don't let your brain go back to freeze-out.

    Now go on with your test or study session refreshed and ready!

注意：每空一词。

    A recent study points out a so-called “gender-equality paradox(性别平等悖论)”: there are more women in STEM (science, technology, engineering, mathematics) in countries with lower gender equality. Why do women make up 40 percent of engineering majors in Jordan, but only 34 percent in Sweden and 19 percent in the U.S.? The researchers suggest that women are just less interested in STEM, and when liberal Western countries let them choose freely, they freely choose different fields.

    We disagree.

    From cradle to classroom, a wealth of research shows that the environment has a major influence on girls' interest and ability in math and science. Early in school, teachers, unconscious prejudice push girls away from STEM. By their preteen years, girls outperform boys in science class and report equal interest in the subject, but parents think that science is harder and less interesting for their daughters than their sons, and these misunderstandings predict their children's career choices.

    Later in life, women get less credit than men for the same math performance. When female STEM majors write to potential PhD advisors, they are less likely to get a response. When STEM professors review applications for research positions, they are less likely to hire “Jennifer” than “John,” even when both applications are otherwise identical—and if they do hire “Jennifer,” they pay her $4,000 less.

    These findings make it clear that women in Western countries are not freely expressing their lack of “interest” in STEM. In fact, cultural attitudes and discrimination are shaping women's interests in a way that is anything but free, even in otherwise free countries.

    “Gender-equality paradox” research misses those social factors because it relies on a broad measure of equality called the Gender Gap Index (GGI), which tracks indicators such as wage difference, government representation and health outcomes. These are important markers of progress, but if we want to explain something as complicated as gender representation in STEM, we have to look into people's heads.

    Fortunately, we have ways to do that. The Implicit Association Test (IAT) is a well-validated tool for measuring how tightly two concepts are tied together in people's minds. The psychologist Brian Nosek and his colleagues analyzed over 500,000 responses to a version of the IAT that measures mental associations between men/women and science, and compared results from 34 countries. Across the world, people associated science more strongly with men than with women.

    But surprisingly, these gendered associations were stronger in supposedly egalitarian (主张平等的) Sweden than they were in the U.S., and the most pro-female scores came from Jordan. We re-analyzed the study's data and found that the GGI's assessment of overall gender equality of a country has nothing to do with that country's scores on the science IAT.

    That means the GGI fails to account for cultural attitudes toward women in science and the complicated mix of history and culture that forms those attitudes.

This Way to Dreamland

    Daydreaming means people think about something pleasant, especially when this makes them forget what they should be doing. Daydreamers have a bad reputation for being unaware of what's happening around them. They can seem forgetful and clumsy. {#blank#}1{#/blank#}They annoy us because they seem to be ignoring us and missing the important things.

    But daydreamers are also responsible for some of the greatest ideas and achievements in human history. {#blank#}2{#/blank#}Can you imagine what kind of world we would have without such ideas and inventions?

So how can you come up with brilliant daydreams and avoid falling over tree roots or otherwise looking like a fool?

    First, understand that some opportunities(机会) for daydreaming are better than others. Feeling safe and relaxed will help you to slip into daydreams. {#blank#}3{#/blank#}And if you want to improve your chances of having a creative idea while you're daydreaming, try to do it while you are involved in another task—preferably something simple, like taking a shower or walking, or even making meaningless drawings.

It's also important to know how to avoid daydreams for those times when you really need to concentrate. "Mindfulness", being focused, is a tool that some people use to avoid falling asleep.{#blank#}4{#/blank#}.

    Finally, you never know what wonderful idea might strike while your mind has moved slowly away. Always remember that your best ideas might come when your head is actually in the clouds.

A. Having interesting things to think about also helps.

B. They stare off into space and wander by themselves.

C. Without wandering minds, we wouldn't have relativity, Coke or Post-it notes.

D. At one time, daydreaming was thought to be a cause of some mental illnesses.

E. It involves slow, steady breathing for self-control that helps people stay calm and attentive.

F. Daydreams are often very simple and direct, quite unlike sleep dreams, which may be hard to understand.