Fun doesn't have to be expensive

    Everyone likes to have fun, but not everyone has much money to spend. Here are some free or cheap ways to enjoy yourself.

    Go outside

    Going outside in good weather can be a lot of fun if you don't want to stay at home. {#blank#}1{#/blank#} If you live in a city, you can go window-shopping. Or you can explore an old part of town and admire the buildings.

    Try a hobby

    While you're out, take pictures of things you find. Planning and taking pictures can make you aware of the beauty all around you. Photographic equipment can be expensive, but it doesn't have to be. You probably already own a camera or a cell phone that can take pictures. Other creative hobbies can also be done with basic materials. {#blank#}2{#/blank#}

    Find an event

    Libraries often hold free public events. {#blank#}3{#/blank#}And while you're there, borrow a book or movie for free. Museums and universities also hold free events.

    If you can't find a free event, you can volunteer at an event that requires tickets. People who organize concerts and plays need help.{#blank#}4{#/blank#} Sometimes they reward volunteers with free tickets.

    Meet a friend

    Relationships are often the best things in life. {#blank#}5{#/blank#} For example, invite a friend for a walk, an event or a time working on your hobby. Hosting doesn't have to be difficult. If your friend comes in the afternoon, you don't have to serve a meal. You can sit and talk, play board games or card games or watch a movie together.

A. A friend in need is a friend indeed.

B. Stop by one to find out what's going on.

C. Hike or bicycle with a friend on a nearby path or in a park.

D. Whatever you do, find a friend to share it with.

E. It's a good idea to stay at home to watch a movie.

F. You can set up or take down chairs or greet visitors.

G. Drawing and writing require nothing more than a pencil and paper.

    The expression, “everybody's doing it,” is very much at the center of the concept of peer pressure. It is a strong influence of a group, especially of children, on members of that group to behave as everybody else does. It can be positive or negative. Most people experience it in some way during their lives.

People are social creatures by nature, and so it is hardly surprising that part of their self-respect comes from the approval of others. This instinct (天性) is why the approval of peers, or the fear of disapproval, is such a powerful force in many people's lives. It is the same instinct that drives people to dress one way at home and another way at work, or to answer “fine” when a stranger asks “how are you?” even if it is not necessarily true. There is a practical aspect to this: it helps society to function efficiently, and encourages a general level of self-discipline that simplifies day-to-day interaction.

    For certain individuals, seeking social acceptance is so important that it becomes like an addiction; in order to satisfy the desire, they may go so far as to abandon their sense of right and wrong. Teens and young adults may feel forced to use drugs, or join gangs that encourage criminal behavior. Mature adults may sometimes feel pressured to cover up illegal activity at the company where they work, or end up in debt because they are unable to hold back the desire to buy a house or car that they can't afford in an effort to “keep up with the Joneses.”

    However, peer pressure is not always negative. A student whose friends are good at academics may be urged to study harder and get good grades. Players on a sports team may feel driven to play harder in order to help the team win. This type of influence can also get a friend off drugs, or to help an adult take up a good habit or drop a bad one. Study groups and class projects are examples of positive peer groups that encourage people to better themselves.

    Schools try to teach kids about the dangers of negative peer pressure. They teach kids to stand up and be themselves, and encourage them to politely decline to do things that they believe are wrong. Similarly, it can be helpful to encourage children to greet the beneficial influence of positive peer groups.

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    Something happens to many children when they are out of school over the summer months. It is called the “summer slide.” This may sound like a ride at a water park. But it's not. Summer slide is when children forget much of what they learned during the latest school year.

    To fight the effects of summer slide, teachers often give students homework over the summer. Many parents may send children to all kinds of camps or find other activities to keep them learning. Some even try to build up their children's strengths by getting them into extra tutoring.

    However, experts say keeping children busy all the time is not good for them. The result is often a tired child with an overcrowded schedule. This keeps a child's brain active constantly—learning, gathering information and preparing for the next event. And this may have the opposite effect the parents are not hoping for.

    What should parents do instead? Nothing. According to Lea Waters, a psychologist specializing in positive psychology and positive education, slowing down actually helps children become the best they can be. Machines need to be reset, while kids need to goof off（偷懒）. She says that goofing off really allows kids to have some downtime, when they're not focused on a specific task but are free to do something that they're interested in doing and that they can do more automatically and get enjoyment from, like shooting baskets or listening to the music.

    She also adds that goofing off does not mean the brain isn't working. It just goes into this default network mode（默认网络模式）and uses that time to process all the information it had during the day, to integrate（整合）new information. It makes a kind of decision about what information to put into memory and what to get rid of, which in fact helps to improve memory.

Guilt, a positive use for a negative emotion

    Guilt is one the most painful emotions that humans experience but also one of the most common. Nobody enjoys feeling guilty, but this emotion serves an important purpose: it alerts a person when he or she has done something wrong. This makes it possible for the person to make amends and it can also motivate people to avoid making similar mistakes later.

    Nevertheless, guilt can be destructive if not dealt with in the right way. It can cause people to avoid others because they are too embarrassed to apologize for their actions or inaction. Some try to avoid the pain of guilt by turning to other worse habits. Others try to cover up their guilt by blaming others or becoming angry.

    What makes it more complicated is that sometimes people feel guilty about things that they can't control. One example of this is survivors' guilt, when people who survived a disaster feel guilty because they escaped death while others didn't. Other people experience false guilt because of too high expectations for themselves.

    The proper response to guilt depends on what kind of guilt you're dealing with. For false guilt, it's important to recognize that guilt does not reflect an actual ethical failure. For example, some false guilt focuses on failing to meet expectations you had for yourself. In this case, it's important to remind yourself that you have limits. No one is perfect, and no one can do everything, so admitting your limits is actually a sign of humility.

    It's also important to acknowledge what you are feeling. Even when you don't need to feel guilty, these feelings are real and normal. Try to balance them with positive thoughts, but realize that it often takes time for feelings to change.

    It's possible that you feel guilty because you actually did something wrong—or didn't do something you should have .If so, don't try to hide it. Apologize and ask for forgiveness, working to heal relationships that were damaged by your actions, which will make your guilty feelings fade.

    Guilt is painful, but it can serve a good purpose if you use it well.

Decoding the young brain

    There was a funny experiment to see how a young child would answer a specific question compared to an adult. After the adult had spent some time speaking with the child, he asked the child, “What do you think about me？” The child answered, “You talk too much.” When the adult performed the same experiment with another adult, the reply to the same question was, “I think you're a very interesting person.” Even if the adult felt the same way as the child, his brain allowed him to take a moment，consider the question, and come up with an answer. He could have been annoyed, but his answer didn't reflect it because he was being polite.

    The secret lies in the science of the developing brain. The child's honest answer was reflected in the fact that his brain wasn't equipped to filter(过滤) information before answering the question. As a result, he was honest, but he said something that may have been hurtful. However, the child did not intentionally hurt the adult; it's just the way his brain works. As a child grows into adolescence and then into adulthood, that changes.

    The human brain is made up of billions of neurons(神经元). In order for our body to execute a command, like getting up from a chair and walking to the other room, the neurons in the brain have to communicate with each other. They also help us employ our senses like taste and touch and help us remember things.

    When the neurons send messages, perhaps one sensation(感觉) the person feels is excitement about eating a cookie because it is so delicious. Later, if that person smells a cookie or hears someone talking about a cookie, it can spark the electrical signals that call up the memory of eating the delicious cookie. In an adult, he or she may remember that eating too many cookies can have consequences, like weight gain. But because the younger brain is more impulsive(冲动的), the desire to feel the pleasure of the sweet treat outweighs the consequences.

    That is because when a child is young, his brain is “wired” in such a way that he seeks pleasure and is more willing to take risks than an adult. This affects his decision-making process and it is why younger people tend to be more impulsive. Sometimes parents have to tell their children over and over again before the child remembers that something is dangerous or risky. How many times have we heard a parent say, “I tell her this all the time, but she never listens！”

    To conclude, what we know about the young brain is that children are more likely than adults to be impulsive. It isn't always necessarily because they are being naughty; it may very well be because of their brains. So the next time you ask a child what he really thinks of you, be prepared for any kind of answer.

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    Sometimes willpower is a lot like the television remote control- hard to find just when you want it most. Whether you're trying to lose weight, stop smoking, get to the gym regularly, developing your sense of willpower is an important part of changing any behavior. Breaking a bad habit or forming a new and healthy one can be difficult. But there are ways to increase your willpower.

    Don't try to change your social situation, win a high position and lose weight all on the same morning. Set one clear, specific goal and make a realistic plan for achieving it. Extra willpower sometimes requires extra energy, so don' push yourself too hard. Focus on one goal at time.

    Whatever your goal is, don't expect to achieve it immediately. If you are trying to break a caffeine habit, start by replacing your morning cup of coffee with a glass of water, instead of vowing （发誓） never to drink coffee again Congratulate yourself on the small achievements that will lead to a larger one. These successes help your willpower grow.

    Improve your willpower by a support network. Ask friends, family or colleagues for help and tell them exactly how they can help. If your credit card bills have increased sharply, for example, let friends know that you are reducing costs. Suggest having a common dinner instead of meeting at an expensive restaurant Find a support group or organization related to your goal and attend their meetings. You can get valuable advice, understanding and information there.

    If possible, change your environment to encourage positive behavior. Want to get in shape? Keep an extra set of workout clothes in your office as a reminder to stop by the gym on the way home. Giving up smoking? Don't go to bars or restaurants where you might be attracted to light up.

    Sometimes changing your behavior requires more than willpower. If you are struggling with a bad habit or want to make an important lifestyle change, seek the support of a professional. An expert may be able to provide related support or medical treatment if necessary.