To whom it may concern,

    My husband Jim and I got married in 1965. For the first ten years of our marriage, I was very happy to stay home and raise our three children. Then about four years ago, our youngest child went to school, and I thought I might go back to work.

    Jim was very supportive and helped me to make my decision. He started to do all the things I used to do around the house, and said he thought I could be a great success in business.

After several weeks of job hunting, I found my present job, which is working for a small public relation firm. At first, my husband was proud of me and would tell his friends, "My clever little wife can run that company she's working for."

    But, as his joking words were becoming reality, Jim stopped talking to me about my job. I have received several promotions and pay increases, and I am now making more money than he is. I can buy my own clothes and a new car. Because of our combined incomes, Jim can do things that we had always dreamed of doing, but we don't do these things because he is unhappy.

    We fought about little things, and Jim is very critical of me in front of our friends. For the first time in our marriage, I think there is a possibility that our marriage may come to an end.

    I love Jim very much, and I don't want him to feel inferior(较差的), but I also love my job. I think I can be a good wife and a working woman, but I don't know how. Can you give me some advice? Will I have to choose one or the other or can I keep both my husband and my new career?

    Please help.

Yours,

Mary

    Six years ago at the age of 35,I suddenly decided I wanted to learn the cello（大提琴）.Straight away I rented an instrument and appeared before Wendell Margrave,professor of musical instruction.

    "You can be as good as you want to be,"Margrave said rather mysteriously.On a piece of paper he drew the notes E and F.He showed me where to put my fingers on the neck of the cello and how to draw the bow.Then he entered my name in his book: 10 am,Tuesday.Tuesday followed Tuesday,and soon it was spring.

Thus began my voyage out of ignorance and into the dream.E-F,E-F,we played together—and moved on to G.It was a happy time.I was again becoming something new,and no longer trapped as the same person.Surely the most terrible recognition of middle life is that we are past changing.We do what we can already do.The cello was something I couldn't do.Yet each Tuesday this became less and less true.Riding home on the bus one snowy night and learning the score of Mozart's C-Major Quintet(莫扎特的C大调五重奏),I felt the page burst into music in my hands.I could by then more or less read a score,and was humming（哼唱）the cello line,when suddenly all five parts came together harmonically（和谐地） in my head.The fellow sitting opposite stared.I met his glance with tears,actually hearing the music in my head for the first time.Could he hear it too, perhaps?No,he got off at the next stop.

    As the years slipped by,my daughter grew up,playing the piano well.My goal was that she and I would one day perform together.I also wanted to perform in public with and for my peers,and to be secretly envied.I continued to play,to perform,but it is not the same.Before,when I heard a cello,it was all beauty and light.Now,as the TV camera gets close to Rostropovich's face,I recognize that his smile shows his incredible determination.Even for him,the cello is a difficult instrument that doesn't respect your ambitions.I picked up my cello and practiced.As good as I wanted to be,I am as good as I'm going to get.It is good enough.

    Many parents have learned the hard way that what sounds like open communication is often the very thing that closes a youngster's ears and mouth. One common mistake is the Lecture, the long monologue that often starts with “When I was your age” Eighteen-year-old Kelly calls lectures “long, one-side discussions in which I don't say much.”

    Kids reflexively(条件反射地)shut down in the face of a lecture. Their eyes glaze over(呆滞),and they don't register any incoming information. Listen to 13-year-old Sarah describe her least favorite times with her mom and dad. “First, they scream. Then comes the ‘We're so disappointed' speech. Then the ‘I never did that to my parents' lecture begins. After that, even if they realize how ridiculous they sound they never take it back.”

    Lines like “When you have children of your own, you'll understand” have been seriously said by parents since time immemorial. But many of our expert parents, like Bobby, a registered nurse and mother of three, feel that by falling back on clichés(陈词滥调)to justify your actions, we weaken our position.

    Since kids are creatures of here and now, the far-off future has no relevance to them. Therefore, good communicators like Bobby suggest, “Give specific reasons for your actions in present language: ‘I'm not letting you go to the party because I don't think there will be enough adult supervisions.'”

    Betty, who lives in Missouri, uses an indirect approach. “I find that warnings are accepted more readily if I discuss a news article on a subject I am concerned about. My husband and I talk about it while our children absorb the information. Then they never think I'm preaching(布道).”

This really helped when Betty's kids began driving. Instead of constantly repeating “Don't drink; don't speed,” she would talk about articles in the paper and express sympathy for the victims of a car crash. Betty made no special effort to draw her kids into the conversation. She depended on a teenager's strong desire to put in his opinions—especially if he thinks he isn't being asked for them.

    Bike Share Toronto is the city's official bike share program, designed to give locals and visitors a fun, affordable and convenient alternative to walking, taxis, buses and the subway. There are 200 Bike Share Toronto stations and 2,000 bikes across the city, making Bike Share the most accessible way to get around and explore.

How it works

    Become an Annual Member or buy a day Pass to access the system.

    Find an available bike nearby, and get a ride code or use your member key to unlock it.

    Take as many short rides as you want while your pass or membership is active.

    Return your bike lo any station, and wait for the green light on the dock（停靠点）to make sure it's locked.

    Choose a plan

    For visitors

    Day Pass: $7.Unlimited 30-minute rides in a 24-hour period.

    3-Day Pass: $15.Unlimited 30-minute rides in a 72-hour period.

    For locals

    Monthly Pass: $25.Unlimited 30-minute rides for a month.

    Annual Membership: $90.Unlimited 30-minute rides for a whole year. The Annual Membership is the best deal for locals of Toronto and other frequent riders.

    The first 30 minutes of each ride is included with the membership or pass price. Avoid extra fees by dropping off your bike every 30 minutes at any other station. If you keep a bike out for longer than 30 minutes at a time, you will be charged an extra $1.50 for the first 30 minutes over, $4 for the next 30 minutes, and $7 for each additional 30 minutes after that.

    Contact us

    Customer Service: (855)898-2388

    Repair Service: (855)-2378

    Corporation Partners: (855)898-2398

    Employment Opportunities: (855)898-2498