Next time a customer comes to your office, offer him a cup of coffee. And when you're doing your holiday shopping online, make sure you're holding a large glass of iced tea. The physical sensation（感觉）of warmth encourages emotional warmth, while a cold drink in hand prevents you from making unwise decisions—those are the practical lesson being drawn from recent research by psychologist John A. Bargh.

    Psychologists have known that one person's perception（感知）of another's “warmth” is a powerful determiner in social relationships. Judging someone to be either “warm” or “cold” is a primary consideration, even trumping evidence that a “cold” person may be more capable. Much of this is rooted in very early childhood experiences, Bargh argues, when babies' conceptual sense of the world around them is shaped by physical sensations, particularly warmth and coldness. Classic studies by Harry Harlow, published in 1958, showed monkeys preferred to stay close to a cloth “mother” rather than one made of wire, even when the wire “mother” carried a food bottle. Harlow's work and later studies have led psychologists to stress the need for warm physical contact from caregivers to help young children grow into healthy adults with normal social skills.

    Feelings of “warmth” and “coldness” in social judgments appear to be universal. Although no worldwide study has been done, Bargh says that describing people as “warm” or “cold” is common to many cultures, and studies have found those perceptions influence judgment in dozens of countries.

    To test the relationship between physical and psychological warmth, Bargh conducted an experiment which involved 41 college students. A research assistant who was unaware of the study's hypotheses（假设）, handed the students either a hot cup of coffee, or a cold drink, to hold while the researcher filled out a short information form: The drink was then handed back. After that, the students were asked to rate the personality of “Person A” based on a particular description. Those who had briefly held the warm drink regarded Person A as warmer than those who had held the iced drink.

    “We are grounded in our physical experiences even when we think abstractly,” says Bargh.

    Where can you go to listen to important people talk about important subjects? BigThink.com is a new website that allows Internet users to discuss certain topics with world experts. Subjects discussed on BigThink include the environment, music and questions about happiness and personal identity. The website has been called a YouTube for thinkers. Victoria Brown and Peter Hopkins created BiThink.com They said that people needed an international place to communicate with each other and discuss the important issues (话题)of our times. On the BigThink website, when you click on (点击)a subject, you will find a video of a person talking about his or her ideas. For example, you can listen to United States Senator Ted Kennedy talking about education and other things. Besides, you can read the comments(评论) and questions written by other visitors to the website. More than one hundred experts have expressed their ideas on the website. BigThink's creators started the website by first getting famous people to agree to be videoed. They began by interviewing several well-known professors from Harvard University. Then they used the names of these professors to gain the trust of others and get them to take part in the project. The website says BigThink belongs to everyone. Its motto(格言) is: "We are what you think." So, go online and start thinking big.

    Have you ever looked out of the window of a passenger plane from 30,000 feet at the vast expanses of empty ocean and uninhabited land, and wondered how people can have any major effect on the Earth? I have. It is now becoming pretty clear that we are causing a great deal of damage to the natural environment. And the planes which rush us in comfort to destinations around the globe, contribute to one of the biggest environmental problems that we face today— global warming.

    As usual, people in the developing world are having to deal with problems created mainly by those of us in developed countries. Beatrice Schell, a spokeswoman for the European Federation for Transport and Environment says that, "One person flying in an airplane for one hour is responsible for the same greenhouse gas emissions（排放）as a typical Bangladeshi in a whole year." And every year jet aircraft produce almost as much carbon dioxide as the entire African continent does.

    There is a way of offsetting(抵消) the carbon dioxide we produce when we travel by plane. A company called Future Forests offers a service which can relieve the guilty consciences of air travelers. The Future Forest website calculates the amount of CO₂ you are responsible for producing on your flight, and for a small fee will plant a number of trees which will absorb this CO₂.

    Yesterday I returned to Japan from England, and was happy to pay Future Forests 25 pounds to plant the 3 trees which balance my share of the CO₂ produced by my return flight. Now the only thing making me lose sleep is jet lag.

    Reader: For six years, I've run an office that has two employees: me and my boss. He used to be so appreciative that I didn't mind doing a little extra, but about two months ago, he started being rude and demanding. Now he even yells when I don't have time to bring his favorite wine to his home after work.

    This change started when we met a wealthy new customer, who is a huge jerk (古怪的人) — my boss's new behavior is just like his.

    My boss is a good man; he and his family have treated me like a little sister. Is there a good way to discuss this with him?

    Karla: Sounds like your new customer has set a bad example to your boss. You need to remind your boss that you're in his corner— but you're not his slave. My suggestions are as follows.

Start with a simple question in a calm moment: "Is everything okay?"

State the truth: "Until recently, I've felt like a valued teammate. But our relationship has become tense. Your expectations of me seem to have changed. Although I used to do occasional personal businesses for you as a favor, now it seems expected."

Draw your lines: "If you think my job description needs to change or my performance is not good enough, let's discuss that. Otherwise, I need you to stop yelling at me and to respect my personal time."

Ideally, you'll get an apology and a promise to do better. After that, it's a matter of reinforcement (加强) . If he starts yelling, look at him with a calm expression. After he cools down, restate his request and add, "Is that correct?" For the unreasonable request, such as fetching his favorite wine after work: "I'm afraid I can't take care of that for you." If he keeps acting like a jerk, there are bosses out there who will better respect your time and talent.

    Karla L. Miller is ready to hear your work dramas. Send your questions to wpmagazine@washpost.com.

    Humans are social animals. They live in groups all over the world. As these groups of people live apart from other groups, over the years and centuries they develop their own habits and ideas, which are different from other cultures. One important particular side of every culture is how its people deal with time.

    Time is not very important in nonindustrial societies. The Nuer people of East Africa, for example, do not even have a word TIME that is in agreement with the abstract thing we call time. The daily lives of the people of such nonindustrial societies are likely to be patterned around their physical needs and natural events rather than around a time schedule(时间表)based on the clock. They cook and eat when they are hungry and sleep when the sun goes down. They plant crops during the growing seasons and harvest them when the crops are ripe. They measure time not by a clock or calendar(日历), but by saying that an event takes place before or after some other event Frequently such a society measures days in terms of "sleeps" or longer periods in terms of "moons." Some cultures, such as the Eskimos of Greenland measure seasons according to the migration of certain animals.

    Some cultures which do not have a written language or keep written records have developed interesting ways of "telling time". For example, when several Australian aborigines want to plan an event for a future time, one of them places a stone on a cliff or in a tree. Each day the angle of the sun changes slightly. In a few days, the rays of the sun strike the stone in a certain way. When this happens, the people see that the agreed-upon time has arrived and the event can take place.

    In contrast(成对比), exactly correct measurement of time is very important in modern, industrialized societies. This is because industrialized societies require the helpful efforts of many people in order to work. For a factory to work efficiently(well, quickly and without waste), for example, all of the workers must work at the same time. Therefore, they must know what time to start work in the morning and what time they may go home in the afternoon. Passengers must know the exact time that an airplane will arrive or depart. Students and teachers need to know when a class starts and ends. Stores must open on time in order to serve their customers. Complicated(复杂的)societies need clocks and calendars. Thus, we can see that if each person worked according to his or her own schedule, a complicated society could hardly work at all.

Why read, and sometimes even write poetry? That question is not difficult to answer if we change the word poetry to songs. 

I sing when I feel good. When I sing my favourite songs, I feel even better. Sometimes when I am listening to music and to the song words, I feel that it was written for me. A good song always makes me feel something. There are songs that I sing in my head between classes and songs that I want to sing when the school bell rings by the end of the day. They help me get through the day. 

They are like bright and warm colours in the middle of greys and shades. I like songs about love and friendship. The extraordinary thing is that my feelings are more special when I sing my favourite songs in English.  

I also like reading. I used to avoid poetry until an e-friend told me I should recite poems and not look up the meaning of the words. Poetry uses many difficult words and idioms, but the best thing is to just forget about them. In the beginning I felt quite strange. Now I always lock the door. Reading aloud gives you a strange feeling, but when you have some practice and fall into the rhythm, and the sounds of the words, it is really a special experience. 

I started with small poems, but now I think I most like long poems. I have different feelings with different poems. When I have had a bad day at school, I read Keats and forget everything. When I am sad I read Wordsworth by the light of a candle. When the poem is finished, I close the book and my sadness is gone.