Michael and I did not know when the waiter put the plates on our table. At the time we were sitting in a small restaurant, hidden from the busy Third Street, in New York City. Even the smell of fresh serving blintze did not interfered our conversation. In fact, we let the blintze soaked in the sour cream. We just enjoy the conversation too much that we forgot to eat. Our conversation was so delightful though we did not speak about important things. We laughed and spoke about the film which we have just watched.

    While our fun conversation continued, my eyes went across the room and stop on the corner. A couple of old folks sat in there. The woman wearing the flower dress with faded color, the same with the pillow where she laid her pallid handbag. The man's top head shined just like the boiled egg which he ate very slowly. The woman chewed her oatmeal(燕麦片) very slowly too, seemed with very much effort.

    But what made my mind thought about them was the silence around them. Michael and I paid our food and went on. When we passed the corner where the couple sat, my wallet fell. When I stopped to get it, I saw under the table, they were tenderly holding each other's hand. They were eating in silence while holding each other's hand! I was very touched to see the simple yet the very meaningful action reflecting the close relationship of the couple.

    Their silence was the pleasant and relaxing one, it was the expression of the tender love and it did not always need the words to express it. They might spend the hours holding each other's hand like this in the morning.

    When I and Michael went out of the restaurant, I thought, maybe it was nothing bad at all if some day we have something like that. Maybe, it will become the expression of the tender and complete love.

    It is quite apparent that competition surrounds every aspect of human life whether in the United States or the Amazon Rain Forest. Without it we would not have grown into primates(灵长类动物). Or we would probably still be struggling to sharpen a bronze tool while crawling around on four legs in search of meat. Without competition, Columbus wouldn't have discovered America and Edison would never have invented the light bulb.

    Friendship, like all relationship between two people, involves competition. It isn't competition in a traditional sense because there are no goals to be scored and no prize. Perhaps the ecological definition—the simultaneous (同时的)demand by two or more organisms for limited environmental resources, such as nutrients， living space, or light- better explain it.

    As in nature, high school life is governed by a set of laws, similar to a shortened version of Darwin's theory of evolution, overpopulation, and competition. There is an abundance of high school students and to distinguish them, ranking and categorizing(分类)take place. In high school, friendships learn to co-exist with competition even though at times the relationship is rough. In fact, in some circumstances, competition is too much of a burden for a friendship to bear, causing it to fall apart. College admission is the final high school objective. Four years of hard work is to achieve good grades, and a student's fate is determined not only by these achievements, but by the records of thousands of other seniors trying to achieve a similar recognition.

    Nevertheless, by necessity, competition between students exists in all aspects of high school life. It sets and improves the standards in everything from sports to school work. A healthy, friendly competition can have only benefits, but when it becomes too fierce, jealousy can tear friendships apart. Yet, despite all this, without competition, we would be lost.

B

    When I was 17, I read a magazine article about a museum called the McNay, once the home of a watercolorist named Marian McNay. She had requested the community to tum it into a museum upon her death. On a sunny Saturday, Sally and I drove over to the museum. She asked, "Do you have the address? ""No, but I'll recognize it, there was a picture in the magazine. "

    "Oh, stop. There it is!"

    The museum was free. We entered, excited. A group of people sitting in the hall stopped talking and stared at us.

    "May I help you?" a man asked. "No," I said. "We're fine." Tour guides got on my nerves. What if they talked a long time about a painting you weren't that interested in? Sally had gone upstairs. The people in the hall seemed very nosy(爱窥探的), keeping their eyes on me with curiosity. What was their problem? I saw some nice sculptures in one room. Suddenly I sensed a man standing behind me. "Where do you think you are?" he asked. I turned sharply. "The McNay Art Museum!" He smiled, shaking his head. "Sorry, the McNay is on New Braunfels Street." "What's this place?" I asked, still confused. "Well, it's our home." My heart jolted(震颤). I raced to the staircase and called out, "Sally! Come down immediately! "

    "There's some really good stuff(艺术作品）up there."She stepped down, looking confused. I pushed her toward the front door, waving at the family, saying, "Sorry, please forgive us, you have a really nice place." Outside, when I told Sally what happened, she covered her mouth, laughing. She couldn't believe how long they let us look around without saying anything.

    The real McNay was splendid, but we felt nervous the whole time we were there. Van Gogh, Picasso. This time, we stayed together, in case anything else unusual happened.

    Thirty years later, a woman approached me in a public place. "Excuse me, did you ever enter a residence, long ago, thinking it was the McNay Museum?"

    "Yes. But how do you know? We never told anyone. "

    "That was my home. I was a teenager sitting in the hall. Before you came over, I never realized what a beautiful place I lived in. I never felt lucky before. You thought it was a museum. My feelings about my home changed after that. I've always wanted to thank you."

    When I was about twelve, I headed to a restaurant for dinner with my family. It was winter, and on that night, the wind was really blowing hard.

    As my mom and I headed to the restaurant from our car, a girl about my age and her mother came up to us. They asked if we had any spare change. My mom right away asked where they lived. They pointed to an old car in a parking lot across the street. The girl said there were six of them living in that car.

    My mom said she had something to do after handing the people a few dollars. She sent me inside the restaurant with my dad and my three siblings (兄弟姐妹). But she didn't come. Later, I found out she had gone home and put all the food in our cupboards into a few bags. Then, she brought that food over to the car and handed the bags to the family. I wasn't there when that happened, but I can only imagine the joy it brought to those people.

    A few days later, when I actually found out about what she had done, I asked her why she helped those people. She told me that they were not lucky. I remember the face of that girl who had asked us for change. She was the same age as me, yet we looked so different.

    Here I stood, dressed in almost new clothes, headed to eat in a restaurant and then back home to the bedroom I shared with my younger sister. I remember thinking that the other girl didn't have any food to eat and she was heading back to a cold car shared with five other people.

    After painting this picture in my mind, I understood why my mom had done what she did. I will never forget what she did that night, and how she taught me one of the best lessons I ever learned.

    British children used to play conkers (板栗游戏) in the autumn when the horse-chestnut trees started to drop their shiny brown nuts. They would select a suitable chestnut, drill a hole in it and thread it onto a string, then swing their conker at that of an opponent until one of them broke. But the game has fallen out of favour. Children spend less time outdoors and rarely have access to chestnut trees. Besides, many schools have banned conkers games, worried that they might cause injuries or nut allergies.

    That sort of risk-averseness(规避风险) now spreads through every aspect of childhood. Playgrounds have all the excitement designed out of them to make them safe. Many governments, particularly in societies such as America, have tightened up their rules, requiring parents to supervise(监管) young children far more closely than in the past. Frank Furedi of the University of Kent, a critic on modern parenting, argues that allowing children to play unsupervised or leaving them at home alone is increasingly described as a symptom of irresponsible parenting.

    In part, such increased caution is a response to the huge wave of changes. Large-scale urbanization, smaller and more mobile families, the move of women into the labor market and the digitization of many aspects of life have unavoidably changed the way that people bring up their children. There is little chance that any of these trends will be changed, so today's more intensive(精细化 ) parenting style is likely to go on.

    Such parenting practices now embraced by wealthy parents in many parts of the rich world, particularly in America, go far beyond an adjustment to changes in external conditions. They mean a strong bid to ensure that the advantages enjoyed by the parents' generation are passed on to their children. Since success in life now turns mainly on education, such parents will do their best to provide their children with the schooling, the character training and the social skills that will secure access to the best universities and later the most attractive jobs.

    To some extent that has always been the case. But there are more such parents now, and they are competing with each other for what economists call positional goods. This competition starts even before the children are born. The wealthy classes will take their time to select a suitable spouse and get married, and will start a family only when they feel ready for it.

    Children from less advantaged backgrounds, by contrast, often appear before their parents are ready for them. In America 60% of births to single women under 30 are unplanned, and over 40% of children are born outside marriage. The result, certainly in America, has been to widen already massive social inequalities yet further.

    All the evidence suggests that children from poorer backgrounds are at a disadvantage almost as soon as they are born. By the age of five or six they are far less "school-ready" than their better-off peers, so any attempts to help them catch up have to start long before they get to school. America has had some success with various schemes involving regular home visits by nurses or social workers to low-income families with new babies. It also has long experience with programmes for young children from poor families that combine support for parents with good-quality child care. Such programmes do seem to make a difference. Without extra effort, children from low-income families in most countries are much less likely than their better-off peers to attend preschool education, even though they are more likely to benefit from it. And data from the OECD's PISA programme suggest that children need at least two years of preschool education to perform at their best when they are 15.

    So the most promising way to ensure greater equality may be to make early-years education and care for more widely available and more affordable, as it is in the Nordics. Some governments are already rethinking their educational priorities, shifting some of their spending to the early years.

    Most rich countries decided more than a century ago that free, compulsory education for all children was a worthwhile investment for society. There is now an argument for starting preschool education earlier, as some countries have already done. In the face of crushing new inequalities, a modern version of that approach is worth trying.

    There is some unwelcome news for students preparing for exams and officers putting in long hours—you don't need that "refreshment (提神) break" as much as you may think.

    Scientists believed it was not easy for people to continue their work if they felt the need to have a snack or a rest to make them feel better. They argued that the only way to regain willpower is by supplying more energy to our bodies with rest, food or entertainment.

    But psychologists have challenged this theory, saying weak willpower is in your head. They found that a person's mindset (理念) and belief about willpower determine how long and how well they'll be able to work on a tough mental exercise. "If you think of willpower as something that's limited, you're more likely to be tired when you perform a difficult task," said Professor Veronika Job. "But if you think of willpower as something that is not easily depleted, you can go on and on."

    The researchers led by Mr. Job designed an experiment to test the students' beliefs about willpower. After a tiring task those who believed or were led to believe that willpower was a limited resource performed worse on standard concentration tests than those who thought of willpower as something they had more control over.

    Mr. Job said, "Students who may already have trouble studying are being told that their powers of concentration are limited, and they need to take frequent breaks. But a belief in willpower as a non-limited resource makes people stronger in their ability to work through challenges."

    The findings could help people who are battling with temptation (诱惑): people following strict diets and doing exercise regularly to lose weight, people trying to overcome addictions, employees facing a tight deadline. Willpower isn't driven by a biologically based process as much as we used to think.