Having learned much about the War of Resistance against Japan, Mao Jingxin didn't like the Japanese when she was a child. “I thought they were cruel and rude,” said the 18-year-old girl from Hebei Province.

But she began to change her mind after she met some Japanese teenagers in a history museum six years ago. These fashionable high school students looked seriously at the history displays and talked to Mao in a friendly way. “I found that they are not bad as I thought,” she said.

Like Mao, many Chinese teenagers' are caught up in this confusion. A survey by 21st Century Teens shows about 51 per cent of Chinese teenagers say they dislike Japan. But most of them still want to have a Japanese friend. Also, Japan lies third on their list of Asian countries that they want to visit, following Singapore and South Korea.

Teens did a survey just before the 60th anniversary of the victory day of the War of Resistance against Japan, which fell on September 3. The survey aimed to encourage understanding and communication between young Chinese and Japanese. Teens also wanted to understand Chinese teenagers' attitudes towards Japan, and how much they actually know about the country.

    As Teens found, more than 60 per cent of Chinese teenagers learn about Japan through the media or books. Only 16 per cent have ever met a Japanese person.

     “Most of my friends hate Japan for what it did to China during World War II. But people should not live in hatred. I think the best way to figure it out is to have contact with the Japanese people myself,” Zhang Yuyua n, a Senior 2 girl, told us in the survey.

“Japan has done wrong to Asian countries including China and it has caused pain to everyone,” said Hikaru, a 17-year-old girl in Kawasaki (川崎市). Having visited China four times and learned much, she understands the importance of communication between the two peoples. She plans to join in an exchange programme with Chinese youth. “Welcome to Japan, my Chinese friends!” She says it with a smile.

    Most people say “yes” much more readily than “no”.

    A friend is moving house this weekend and would like some help, and you agree. But, what you really wanted was a couple of quiet days relaxing at home. Or a roommate spends the entire weekends playing video games and wants to borrow your homework for “reference”. But, you've just finished it after taking a whole day to work hard.

    Many people say “yes” to those kinds of requests. They tend not to consider their own interests and feelings, and are often angry with themselves afterwards.

    Saying “no” requires courage and considerable practice, in fact, according to psychologists.

    “Everyone wants to be liked,” says Gabriel Steinki, a German psychologist. “Saying ‘no' risk losing the affection of the person asking the favor or even a job.”

    The result is that many people say “yes” just for keeping the peace. But experts say this is regrettable. Anyone should have the right to say “no”.

    In fact, rejecting a request can even help to strengthen a relationship because it expresses a true feeling.

    But, for people used to agreeing to every request, changing can be a long and uncomfortable learning process.

    Most people believe that “If I say ‘no', I'll lose the affection of the person. But the affection is important to me.” This way of thinking can be replaced by this “If he only likes me because I always do what suits him, then the price of his affection is too high in the long term.”

    Steinki says the key is talking to the other person to find a mutual(相互的) solution. “One needs to present the situation from one's own point of view, and to suggest how the situation can be dealt with to the advantage of both parties. The other person must have the feeling that his interests are being considered.”

    When the refusal is not accepted, Steinki advises giving the reasons calmly again until the person gets the message.

Music

    Opera at Music Hall:1243 Elm Street.The season runs June through August,with additional performances in March and September.The Opera honors Enjoy tho Arts membership discounts.Phone:241-2742.http://www.cityopera.com.

    Chamber Orchestra:The Orchestra plays at Memorial Hall at 1406 Elm Street,which offers several concerts from March through June.Call 723-1182 for more information.http://www.chamberorch.com.

    Symphony Orchestra:At Music Hall and Riverbend.For ticket sales,call 381-3300.Regular season runs September through May at Music Hall in summer at Riverbend.http://www.symphony.org/home.asp.

    College Conservatory of Music (CCM):Performances are on the main campus（校园）of the university,usually at Patricia Cobbett Theater.CCM organizes a variety of events,including performances by the well-known LaSalle Quartet,CCM's Philharmonic Orchestra,and various groups of musicians presenting Baroque through modern music. Students with I.D.cards ban attend the events for free. A free schedule of events for each term is available by calling the box office at 556-4183.http://www.ccm.uc.edu/events/calendar.

    Riverbend Music Theater:6295 Kellogg Ave.Large outdoor theater with the closest seats under cover (price difference).Big name shows all summer long.Phone:202-6220. http://www.riverbendmusic.com.

    Our first winter in Canada was the happiest we have ever experienced. We were living in the countryside then and had just arrived from Hong Kong that autumn. One evening in mid-December snow began to fall. When we looked out of the window and saw that it was snowing, we all cheered. It was the first snow we had ever seen and we were excited. We could hardly wait for the snow to stop so that we could go out to play. Next morning when we woke up, it was still snowing. We switched on the radio and learned that more than ten inches of snow had fallen during the night and that since the roads were blocked, there would be no school that day. We jumped up and down for joy and beg mother to let us go outside to play in the snow. She said we could go out after breakfast if we dressed warmly and promised to come back as soon as we felt cold. When we went out, the snow had almost stopped. The roads, paths, gardens, and playgrounds were all hidden under a white blanket of soft snow. It was the most beautiful sight we had ever seen. Just then, we saw some neighbors' children coming out to play. We ran over to join them. Together we built a snowman and a snow house. After that, we took turns sliding down a hill on a large piece of carboard. We were having so much fun when supper time came. Mother almost had to force us to go in and eat.

    Here is some must-know information from a handbook on how people behave in doing business in some countries.

In Brazil

    Brazilians are warm and friendly. They often stand close when talking and it is common for them to touch the person on the shoulder. People often greet each other (particularly women) with light cheek kisses. Schedules tend to be flexible, with business meetings sometimes starting later than planned. But to be safe, be on time. Meals can stretch for hours—there's no such thing as rushing a meal in Brazil. Lunches also can start in the mid to late afternoon. Brazilians are social, preferring face-to-face communication over mails or phone calls.

    In Singapore

    Singaporeans shake hands when they meet and often also greet each other with a small, polite bow. Business cards should be offered and received with two hands. Arriving late is considered disrespectful. So be on time. Efficiency (效率) is the goal, so meetings and dealings often are fast-paced. Singaporeans are direct in their discussions, even when the subject is about money. Rank is important and authority is respected. This determines both people interact in meetings. For example, people avoid disagreeing outright with someone with a higher rank.

    In the United Arab Emirates

    In the UAE, status is important, so the most senior or oldest should be greeted first with their titles. The handshake seems to be longer than elsewhere. So, do not pull away the handshake. Women should cover themselves when it comes to dress. Men also tend to be covered from neck to elbows (肘部) and down to the knees. People do not avoid entertaining in their homes, but they also hold business meals at restaurants. Touching or passing food or eating with your left hand is to be avoided. When meetings are one-to-one, if your host offers you coffee, you should refuse. It might seem odd, but it is a cultural tradition. Coffee should only be accepted if it is always set out or presented.

    In Switzerland

    The Swiss tend to be formal and address each other by last name. They also are respectful of private lives. You should be careful not to ask about personal topics. Punctuality(守时) is vital, something that comes from a deep respect for others' time. Arrive at any meeting or event a few minutes early to be safe. They also have clear structure in their companies. Higher-ups make the final decisions, even if others might disagree. Neat, clean dress is expected. The Swiss follow formal table manners. They also keep their hands visible at the table and their elbows off the table. It is polite to finish the food on your plate.

    For most of her life, Suanne Laqueur's passion for storytelling was shown on the dance floor.

    Although Laqueur began writing at a young age, dancing always took center stage. She majored in dance and theater at Alfred University and taught at her mother's dance studio in Croton-on-Hudson, New York, for years. But when her mother was ready to retire and an opportunity opened for Laqueur to take over the studio, she realized she had no interest in taking on the business side of her art: "Owning a studio is a lot of work—financially, logistically. I love the teaching, the choreographing(编舞), the staging, but I didn't want to own it."

    Yet Laqueur's disinterest in running the studio changed when she became a self-published author. In the fall of 2013, she decided to pursue Self-publishing as a way of sharing her first completed novel with friends and family. During the process, she realized that following her true passion—telling stories through writing—made the business of the art worthwhile, and owning that business meant she could direct her writing career however she chose.

    Starting with her second self-published novel, she began investing more time in marketing and building her audience. Her investment paid off. Since 2014, Laqueur, now 49, has self-published six novels, which collectively have hundreds of ratings and reviews on Goodreads. Her 2016 novel An Exaltation of Larks stole the show at the 25th Annual Writer's Digest Self-Published Book Awards, topping more than 2,300 entries to win the grand prize.

    "You have to write the most truthful story to you, and I think self-publishing allows that freedom,' she says. "If you work with traditional publishing, it's more about what's marketable, There are trade-offs, which everyone will tell you, but by self-publishing I have control of the book, I have control of the story, and I'm cool with that."