About 30 years ago, I left Cuba for the United States with my son. After getting settled finally in Brunswick, New Jersey, I enrolled(注册) my son in kindergarten. Several weeks later, my son's teacher asked me to meet him at his office.

In the teacher's office, and exchange of greetings was followed by his questions: “Is your son mentally retarded(弱智的)？Does he suffer from any kind of mental disability?”

Was he talking about my wonderful Scola? NO, no, it can't be. What a helpless, lonely moment! I told him that Scola was a quiet, sweet little boy, instead. I asked him why he was asking me all these questions.

My son could not follow the teacher's directions, he told me, and thus, Scola was disrupting the class, Didn't he know my son did not speak English yet?

He was angry; “Why hasn't your son been taught to speak English? Don't you speak English at home?”

No, I didn't speak English at home, I replied. I was sure my son would learn English in a couple of months, and I didn't want him to forget his native language. Well, wrong answer! What kind of person would not speak in English to her son at home and at all time? “Are you one of those people who come to this country to save dollars and send them back to their country, never wanting to be a part of this society?”

    Needless to say, I tried to tell him I was not one of “those people.” Then he told me the meeting was over, and I left.

    As I had expected, my son learned to speak English fluently before the school year was over. He went on to graduate from college and got a job, earning close to six figures. He travels widely and leads a well-adjusted, contented life. And he has benefited from being bilingual(双语的)。

    Speaking more than one language allows people to communicate with others; it teaches people about other cultures and other places—something very basic and obviously lacking in the “educator” I met in New Jersey.

    The wedding tradition of “something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue” has been around for hundreds of years. The tradition of carrying or wearing one of each item is said to bring luck and fortune to the newly married couple. Have you ever stopped to think what the saying really means? What is its origin and what does each item represent?

    The original saying dates back to the Victoria times and states, “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue and a silver sixpence in your shoe.”

    Something old   A bride may wear or carry something old to represent her continued ties to her family and her old life. Many brides wear a piece of family jewelry as their old item. Some brides wear the wedding dress worn by their mother or grandmother. In many cases, something old may also be something borrowed.

    Something new   Wearing something new is supposed to represent success and hope in the bride's new life and in her marriage. If the bride purchased her wedding dress new, it may represent her new item, but any item that is new may be used. Something “new” is usually the easiest kind to fill.

    Something borrowed   The borrowed item should be something borrowed from a friend that is happily married. It is said that their happiness will rub off on you and bring lasting happiness to your marriage. Some brides borrow an item of clothing, a piece of jewelry, a handkerchief or perhaps a beaded(带珠子的) purse.

    Something blue Wearing something blue dates back to ancient times when a blue wedding dress was worn to represent purity, fidelity and love.

    Silver sixpence   Placing a silver sixpence in the bride's left shoe is said to be a symbol of wealth. This not only refers to financial wealth, but also a wealth of happiness and joy throughout her married life. Since most brides probably don't even know what a sixpence is, this part of the tradition is not used very often in modern times. However, if a bride would like to include it in her wedding, she can purchase a silver sixpence from many companies that sell bridal supplies such as garters(袜带) and invitations.

    There's a song by the great Jamaican singer Bob Marley called So Much Trouble In The World. Marley understood that part of the reason why there are so many problems in the world is the lack of tolerance between people. The UN understands this too—that's why it made Nov 16 "International Day for Tolerance".

    But first of all, what is tolerance? French philosopher Voltaire (1694—1778) can give us some help. According to him, tolerance "is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty (脆弱) and error; let us pardon each other's folly—that is the first law of nature."

    Nobody's perfect. When we're tempted to criticize another person, we should perhaps remember our own imperfections first.

    Very often, people don't realize that they're intolerant. This is because intolerance has a lot to do with ignorance. For example, the UN's campaign is in part about the treatment of females by males. But often, the behavior of men toward women is intolerant because men don't put themselves in the shoes of women.

    It's worth thinking a little about the words "tolerance" and "intolerance". Are they the best words to describe the evils of which we're speaking here? To agree to be "tolerant" of someone isn't necessarily a very respectful thing. When someone is tolerated, it implies that there's something wrong with them.

    But it seems wrong that people should agree to "tolerate" people with black skin, for example. And should women think they have received the respect they are due when men agree to "tolerate" them?

    Still, what Voltaire said stands: We humans are not perfect and this weakness is something that we all share. That's the reason we should be tolerant.

    It's a little like generosity. We can give things to another person, and we can also give our forgiveness. Bob Marley understood this. In the song mentioned above, he advised: "Write your love on a rock so it stays for eternity; write your hate in the sand so the waves will wash it away."

    Attitudes toward new technologies often fall along generational lines. That is, generally, younger people tend to outnumber older people in face of a technological shift.

    It is not always the case, though. When you look at attitudes toward driverless cars, there doesn't seem to be a clear generational divide. The public overall disagree on whether they'd like to use a driverless car. In a study last year, of all people surveyed, 48 percent said they wanted to ride in one, while 50 percent did not.

    The fact that attitudes toward self-driving cars appear to be so steady across generations suggests how transformative the shift to driverless cars could be. Not everyone wants a driverless car now——and no one can get one yet ——but among those who are open to them, every age group is similarly engaged.

    When it comes to driverless cars, differences in attitude are obvious based on factors not related to age. College graduates, for example, are particularly interested in driverless cars compared with those who have less education: 59 percent of college graduates said they would like to use a driverless car compared with 38 percent of those with a high-school diploma or less.

    Where a person lives matters, too. More people who lived in cities and suburbs said they wanted to try driverless car than those who lived in rural areas.

    While there's reason to believe that interest in self-driving cars is going up, a person's age will have little to do with how self-driving cars can become mainstream. Once driverless cars are actually available for sale, the early adopters will be the people who can afford to buy them.

    People like to post their selfies(自拍照) on social media. To know more about it, scientists at Syracuse University in New York recently did a research and came up with some surprising findings.

    People who post selfies and use editing software to make themselves look better show behavior connected to narcissism(自恋), the researchers said. Makana Chock, a professor from Syracuse University, said because social media is mostly used by people to share unimportant information about their lives, it is a good place for people to "work towards satisfying their own vanity." Those "likes" under their Facebook selfies make them feel good.

    Besides, people who post group selfies show a need for popularity and a need to belong to a group, the research found. Some people feel "peer(同伴) pressure" to post selfies and some follow the popular belief that if there is no picture of an event or experience, it did not really happen. "Anyway, it shouldn't be seen as negative. People get sense of satisfaction especially when they get likes. And it does no harm," Chock said.

    Other findings from the study include: There are no major differences on how often men and women post selfies and how often they use editing software. But men who post selfies showed more of a need to be seen as popular than women who posted selfies.

Chock said posting selfies on social media is not all that different from what people have done for many years. On trips and special events, our parents and grandparents used cameras instead of phones to take photos. They would bring back photos to show friends and family. You had no choice but to look at them. You probably commented about how nice everyone in the photos looked, especially children and the person showing the photos. They were happy to hear your comments. That was the old way of "clicking like". On social media, however, people can decide not to look at photos — even if they click "like".

We are all stuck in the thought of having satisfying relationships, which bring some meaning to our lives and make us happy. We are so busy in finding true happiness that we often forget true happiness lies within us.

You have to love yourself first in order to love someone else. We have heard in countless inspiring speeches that self-love is the basis of a happy life. Have you ever wondered that with so many people advertising self-love, why haven't we been able to love ourselves?

One of the reasons for our failure to love ourselves is that we have been taught to be selfless from the start of time. The minute we start thinking about ourselves, everyone around us makes it their personal mission to remind us of how selfish we are. However, there is nothing wrong with putting your needs and yourself first. Self-love is not selfish. It only helps us better understand which sacrifices (牺牲) are worth making!

Actually, self-love and healthy relationships cannot be separated. Self-love is the very core of any healthy relationship. Now you might wonder how my love for myself is going to make me able to have a healthy relationship. Isn't a healthy relationship all about giving? Honestly, No.

When you know your worth, you know what you are willing to accept in a relationship and what not. You will know where to draw boundaries because you value your own opinions. You will have a clear understanding of what you need, what are your values and your limits. From now on, you should realize that true happiness lies within you and you shouldn't waste time and effort searching for peace and joy in the world outside.