I suspect that the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention, and especially if it's given from the heart. When people are talking, there's no need to do anything but listen to them. Just take them Just listen to what they're saying and care about it. Most times caring about it is even more important than understanding it. Most of us don't value ourselves or our love enough to know this. It has taken me a long time to believe in the power of the simply saying "I'm so sorry" when someone is in pain, and meaning it.

    One of my patients told me that when she tried to tell her story, people often interrupted to tell her that they had once had something just like that happen to them. Eventually she stopped talking to most people. She was just too lonely. We connect through listening. When we interrupt what someone is saying to let them know that we understand, we move the focus of attention to ourselves. When we listen, they know that we care. Many people with cancer can talk about the relief of having someone just listen.

    I have ever learned to respond to someone crying by just listening. In the old days I used to reach for the tissues(纸巾), until I realized that passing a person a tissue may be just another way to shut them down, to take them out of their experience of sadness and grief. Now I just listen. When they have cried all they need to cry, they find me there with them.

    John D. Rockefeller once said, “The ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity (日用品) as sugar or coffee. And I will pay more for that ability than for any other under the sun. ”

    Wouldn't you suppose that every college in the land would conduct courses to develop the highest-priced ability under the sun? But if there was one, it would not escape my attention.

    The University of Chicago conducted a survey to determine what adults want to study. That survey cost $ 25,000 and took two years. The last part of the survey was made in Meriden, Connecticut. It had been chosen as a typical American town. Every adult in Meriden was interviewed and requested to answer 156 questions such as “What is your business or profession? Your education? How do you spend your spare time? What is your income? Your hobbies? Your ambitions? Your problems? What subjects are you most interested in studying?” and so on. That survey revealed that health is the prime interest of adults and that their second interest is people; how to understand and get along with people; how to make people like you; and how to win others to your way of thinking.

    So the committee conducting this survey decided to conduct such a course for adults in Meriden. They searched for a practical textbook on the subject and found none. Finally they approached one of the world's outstanding authorities on adult education and asked him if he knew of any book that met the needs of this group. “No,” he replied, “I know what those adults want. But the book they need has never been written.”

    I knew from experience that this statement was true, for I myself had been searching for years to discover a practical handbook on human relations. Since no such book existed, I have tried to write one for use in my own courses. And here it is. I hope you like it.

    Parents should stop blaming themselves because there's not a lot they can do about it. I mean the teenager problem, the one I want to talk about as a specialist. Whatever you do or however you choose to deal with it, at certain times a wonderful, reasonable and helpful child will turn into a terrible animal.

    I've seen friends deal with it in all kinds of different ways. One strict mother insisted that her son, right from a child, should stand up whenever anyone entered the room, open doors and shake hands like a gentleman. I saw him last week when I dropped in on them. Sprawling himself (懒散地躺) on the sofa in full length, he made no attempt to turn off the loud TV he was watching as I walked in, and his greeting was no more than a quick glance at me. His mother was ashamed. "I don't know what to do with him these days," she said. "He's forgotten all the manners we taught him."

    He hasn't forgotten them. He's just decided that he's not going to use them. She admitted that she would like to come up behind him and throw him down from the sofa onto the floor.

    Another good friend of mine let her two daughters climb all over the furniture, reach across the table, stare at me and say, "I don't like your dress; it's ugly." One of the daughters has recently been driven out of school. The other has left home.

    "Where did we go wrong?" her parents are now very sad. Probably nowhere much. At least, no more than the rest of that unfortunate race, parents.

    Do you want to get home from work knowing you have made a real difference in someone's life?

    If yes，don't care about sex or age! Come and join us, then you'll make it!

    Position: Volunteer Social Care Assistant

    (No Pay with Free Meals)

    Place: Manchester

    Hours: Part Time

    We are now looking for volunteers to support people with learning disabilities to live active lives! Only 4 days left. Don't miss the chance of lending your warm hands to help others!

    Role:

    You will provide people with learning disabilities with all aspects of their daily lives. You will help them to develop new skills. You will help them to protect their rights and their safety. But your primary concern is to let them know they are valued.

    Skills and Experience Required:

    You will have the right values and great listening skills. You will be honest and patient. You will have the ability to drive a car and to communicate in fluent written and spoken English since you'll have to help those people with different learning disabilities. Previous care-related experience will be a great advantage for you.

    I was desperately nervous about becoming car-free. But eight months ago our car was hit by a passing vehicle and it was destroyed. No problem, I thought: we'll buy another. But the insurance payout didn't even begin to cover the costs of buying a new car－I worked out that, with the loan, we'd need plus petrol, insurance, parking permits and tax, we would make a payment as much as £600 a month.

    And that's when I had my fancy idea. Why not just give up having a car at all? I live in London. We have a railway station behind our house, a tube station 10 minutes' walk away, and a bus stop at the end of the street. A new car club had just opened in our area, and one of its shiny little red Peugeots was parked nearby. If any family in Britain could live without a car, I reasoned, then surely we were that family.

    But my new car-free idea, sadly, wasn't shared by my family. My teenage daughters were horrified. What would their friends think about our family being "too poor to afford a car"? (I wasn't that bothered what they thought, and I suggested the girls should take the same approach.)

    My friends, too, were astonished at our plan. What would happen if someone got seriously ill overnight and needed to go to hospital? (an ambulance) How would the children get to and from their many events? (buses and trains) People smiled as though this was another of my mad ideas, before saying they were sure I'd soon realize that a car was a necessity.

    Eight months on, I wonder whether we'll ever own a car again. The idea that you "have to" own a car, especially if you live in a city, is all in the mind. I live—and many other citizens do too—in a place that has never been better served by public transport, and yet car ownership has never been higher. We worry about rising car costs, but we'd be better off asking something much more basic: do I really need a car? Certainly the answer is no, and I'm a lot richer because I dared to ask the question.

FITNESS CENTRE

    The fitness centre offers a variety of activities for members of all ages throughout the week.

    Activities for Monday 12 July, 2017:

    Learn to swim. Classes for preschool children aged five and under start at 10:00 am. Classes last 30 minutes and parents must attend with their children. Don't forget to book in advance, as places are limited, and to pack some warm clothes for after the lesson.

    Woman's aerobics (有氧运动). Sessions are for one hour and begin at 10:45 am, led by Melissa. Come along and join us every Monday for an exhilarating hour of exercise and fun. Leave your kids at the nursery and take time out for yourself. Wear a track­suit or something similar.

    Lunchtime yoga. Take a break at lunchtime (1:00—2:00 pm) for an hour of meditation and yoga. Enjoy the peace and quiet of our meditation room, and relaxing sessions designed for active people with busy lives. Use your own mat for floor work or hire one from us for a small sum.

    Family Shootaround. 10:00—5:30 pm. Family Shootaround is open for members and guests to bring the family out for basketball. Half court games are only during this time. There are no full court games during Family Shootaround hours. All participants must sign in at the front desk and wear a wristband during the play.