I was at a loss for how to handle the fights among my kick- Many activities had been tried, but they didn't work. After reading What I Know for Sure written by Oprah Winfrey, a thought occurred to me one day.

    “Starting with Dora, I want everyone to find the chance to say 'thank you' .” I declared.

    “What?” Ashley asked. “What's going on?''

    “Just do it.”

    Naturally, the kid^ all thought I had lost my mind. I wasn't sure if they were wrong, but I pressed on.

    “Now, we're going to keep going around and everyone tells what they're thankful for.”

    Clearly doubtful and frustrated, the kids launched in, and I kept them going.

    “I'm thankful for our house.”

    “I'm thankful for my clothes.”

    “I'm thankful for my whole life and everyone in the world.”

    “What? What am I supposed to say?”

    "Keep going."

    “I'm grateful for my underwear!” Instant laughter erupted, music to my ears!

    “Great, lei it out!” I encouraged. “What else?”

And that was all we needed. The gratitude--great and small, serious and funny—came rolling out.

    “My backpack.”

    “My teachers.”

    On and on it went until every face was lit with a new kind of joy and laughter. I could sense a new feeling of peace and comfort in the air a reminder of not only our blessings, but the love we really did have for each other.

    “I'm grateful for being grateful!” Dora declared.

    “Me, too!” was the unanimous response.

    I don't remember the activities that took place the rest of the day. But it was a day when our family was transformed by two simple words: thank you. Since then, it's become a family motto.

    When her classmates were having a good time, Molly sat at the picnic table alone. She remained awkward around her classmates. She seemed unsure of what to do or say, yet I could see her eyes longing for acceptance. Many students had already decided that her friendship would not be worth the energy required to overcome the awkwardness. Others teased her. Most ignored her except for one.

    Brianna, the class clown, was making the other students laugh, as usual. “Brianna, do you see Molly down there? Would you mind walking down there and inviting her to come up here with the rest of us?”

    Brianna sighed. I could tell she didn't want to sacrifice precious minutes of her own recess (休息) to do what I was asking of her, but I also knew her heart. She often thought of others before herself— a rare character for anyone, much less a kid.

    Knowing this choice was hard for her, I reached into my pocket and pulled out a D-buck, our class currency. Though bribery (行贿) was not the ideal way to handle this situation, I needed her cooperation.

    “Here, I'll pay you for your time.”

    She offered an insincere smile, grasped the green paper, and headed down the hill.

    As the rest of the children screamed and laughed, my eyes locked on Brianna as she neared the picnic table. Molly could be difficult, and I wouldn't have been surprised if she sent Brianna back alone, refusing her invitation. When she encouraged herself to a standing position, I sighed with relief.

    A minute later, I felt a tap on my shoulder. “Here, Mrs. D.” She handed me the D-buck.

    “Why?” I asked.

    “I shouldn't keep this,” Her eyes fell to her feet, guilt radiating from her quiet voice. “I don't want Molly to think I only went to get her so I could earn a D-buck. She's my friend.”

    A moment later, they were all laughing again, and who should I see among them, laughing for the first time that week? Molly.

D

    We've all been there: in a lift, in line at the bank or on airplane, surrounded by people who are, like us, deeply focused on their smartphones or, worse, struggling with the uncomfortable silence.

    What's the problem? It's possible that we all have compromised conversational intelligence. It's more likely that none of us start a conversation because it's awkward and challenging, or we think it's annoying and unnecessary. But the next time you find yourself among strangers, consider that small talk is worth the trouble. Experts say it's an invaluable social practice that results in big benefits.

    Dismissing small talk as unimportant is easy, but we can't forget that deep relationships wouldn't even exist if it weren't for casual conversation. Small talk is the grease (润滑剂) for social communication, says Bernardo Carducci, director of the Shyness Research Institute at Indiana University Southeast. "Almost every great love story and each big business deal begins with small talk," he explains. "The key to successful small talk is learning how to connect with others, not just communicate with them."

    In a 2014 study, Elizabeth Dunn, associate professor of psychology at UBC, invited people on their way into a coffee shop. One group was asked to seek out an interaction(互动) with its waiter; the other, to speak only when necessary. The results showed that those who chatted with their server reported significantly higher positive feelings and a better coffee shop experience. "It's not that talking to the waiter is better than talking to your husband," says Dunn. "But interactions with peripheral(边缘的) members of our social network matter for our well-being also."

    Dunn believes that people who reach out to strangers feel a significantly greater sense of belonging, a bond with others. Carducci believes developing such a sense of belonging starts with small talk. "Small talk is the basis of good manners," he says.

    How often do you exercise? A new study found that most kids aged 12 to 15 weren't getting enough physical activity. The results were based on about 800 kids. As part of the study, the kids tracked and reported on their own activity levels, and took physical exams.

    U. S. fitness guidelines suggest an hour or more of physical activity every day. According to the study, only 1 in 4 U.S. kids get enough physical activity.

    "It's certainly worrying to see that our kids have such a limited amount of physical activity each day," said Dr. Stephen Pont. He is an expert on children's health.

    Few kids in the study met the guidelines on physical activity that raises the heart rate and makes people breathe harder. Overall, about 25% said they got an hour of that kind of exercise every day. Kids also reported on which activities they did most often outside of school gym class--basketball for boys and running for girls.

    The study found that fat teenagers were less active than normal-weight girls and boys. Fat girls were slightly less active than normal-weight girls, but levels were similar among overweight and normal-weight boys. The study also said that the percent of fat children aged 2 to 19 was 17%, or about 12.5 million kids.

    "There's always room for improvement," said Tala Fakhouri, who was the leader of the study. She also said the results provide useful information to help with fitness campaigns such as Let's Move, which was initiated by Michelle Obama in 2010. To inspire kids to eat right and get in shape, Michelle visits schools and holds exercise events. She also calls on schools to offer regular gym classes.

    The study also found kids who get physical education at school may get better grades.

    Shop with Your Doc is part of a broader and still growing movement in US medicine to shift the focus away from simply treating disease toward caring for the whole person. It is meant to help people make educated, healthy choices one grocery cart at a time. Across the country, hospitals are setting up food banks and medical schools are putting cooking classes on the curriculum. Nonprofits are connecting medical centers with community resources to ensure that low-income Americans have access to fresh fruits and vegetables.

    For centuries, Western medicine's mission was to cure disease. But over the past generation, two generation, two significant trends are of concern to the medical community, says Timothy Harlan, executive director of Goldring Center for Culinary Medicine at Tulane University in New Orleans. Healthcare costs began to soar (激增), and relatively inexpensive, poor-quality food became more common. "There's a very straightforward link between people improving their diets and improving the condition that they have," Dr. Harlan says.

    The connection drove the medical and nonprofit communities to rethink their approach to health. What emerged was the concept of the "social determinants of health"—the notion of taking into account the biological, physical, and socioeconomic circumstances surrounding a patient. A healthy person isn't just someone who is free from disease, the theory goes; he or she also enjoys "a state of complete mental, physical and social well-being."

    The question the medical community now faces is how to get patients—especially low-income families—to recognize these determinants and make it possible for them to eat and live healthier. In Boston, medical experts responded by creating an on-site pantry (食品室) at Boston Medical Center. Since its founding in 2002, the pantry has evolved into a kind of nutrition center where primary care providers at BMC send patients for food. Today the pantry, which gets 95 percent of its stock from the Greater Boston Food bank, hosts free cooking classes and serves about 7,000 people a month. The Greater Boston Food Bank has also launched its own initiatives, striking partnerships with four community health centers across the state to offer free mobile produce markets. The organization also helped develop toolkits (软件包) that map local pantries, markets that accept government food vouchers, and other resources.

    At Tulane in New Orleans, Harlan is leading the development of a curriculum that combines medicine with the art of food preparation. His philosophy: Doctors who know their way around a kitchen are better at helping their patients. And empowering patients to take charge of their own diets is one way to help them deal with the incredible costs of health care, Harlan says. The curriculum has since been adopted at 35 medical schools around the United States. Chipping away at bad habits is a good place to start getting patients to think about the choices they make for themselves and their families, say Dr Maureen Villasenor, the Orange County pediatrician (儿科医生).

    Some of the best research on daily experience is rooted in rates of positive and negative interactions, which has proved that being blindly positive or negative can cause others to be frustrated or annoyed or to simply tune out.

    Over the last two decades, scientists have made remarkable predictions simply by watching people interact with one another and then scoring the conversations based on the rate of positive and negative interactions. Researchers have used the findings to predict everything from the likelihood that a couple will divorce to the chances of a work team with high customer satisfaction and productivity levels.

More recent research helps explain why these brief exchanges matter so much. When you experience negative emotions as a result of criticism or rejection, for example, your body produces higher levels of the stress hormone, which shuts down much of your thinking and activates(激活) conflict and defense mechanisms(机制). You assume that situations are worse than they actually are.

    When you experience a positive interaction, it activates a very different response. Positive exchanges increase your body's production of oxytocin, a feel-good that increases your ability to communicate with, cooperate with and trust others. But the effects of a positive occurrence are less dramatic and lasting than they are for a negative one.

    We need at least three to five positive interactions to outweigh every one negative exchange. Bad moments simply outweigh good ones. Whether you're having a conversation, keep this simple short cut in mind: At least 80 percent of your conversations should be focused on what's going right.

    Workplaces, for example, often see this. During performance reviews, managers routinely spend 80 percent of their time on weaknesses and "areas for improvement". They spend roughly 20 percent of the time on strengths and positive aspects. Any time you have discussions with a person or group, spend the vast majority of the time talking about what is working, and use the remaining time to address weaknesses.