It is not only praise or punishment that determines a child's level of confidence. There are some other important ways we shape our kids—particularly by giving instructions and commands in a negative or positive choice of words. For example, we can say to a child “Don't run into traffic!” or “Stay on the footpath close to me.” In using the latter, you will be helping your kids to think and act positively, and to feel competent in a wide range of situations, because they know what to do, and aren't scaring themselves about what not to do.

    Why does such a small thing make a difference? It is all in the way the human mind works. What we think, we automatically rehearse. For example, if someone offered you a million dollars not to think of a blue monkey for two minutes, you wouldn't be able to do it. When a child is told “Don't fall off the tree,” he will think of two things: “don't” and “fall off the tree”. That is, he will automatically create the picture of falling off the tree in his mind. A child who is vividly imagining falling off the tree is much more likely to fall off. So it is far better to use “Hold on to the tree carefully.”

    Clear, positive instructions help kids to understand the right way to do things. Kids do not always know how to be safe, or how to react to the warning of the danger in negative words. So parents should make their commands positive. “Sam, hold on firm to the side of the boat” is much more useful than “Don't you dare to fall out of the boat?” or worse still “How do you think I'll feel if you drown?” The changes are small but difference is obvious.

    Children learn how to guide and organize themselves from the way we guide them with our words, so it pays to be positive.

    Throughout the past few years, I have tried to give myself to others. I have bounced around to find where I truly fit in. I found my place while I stayed in Guatemala, an orphanage (孤儿院)，with the children living there. Through hearing many stories of their lives, I was moved to tears and started to question my living ways and gave up everything that wasn't essential: makeup and any other sort of luxury (奢侈品). I lived like they did. It was the most relaxing feeling in the world.

    When at Nuestros Pequenos Hermanos, we were given the task of creating a pig pen. At first, I thought it should be easy. After arriving at the area where the pig pen should be, we saw a hill. We were told to uproot the weeds as well as level the entire area. Looking at it, we felt it would be impossible. On my own faith journey, I have felt this type of doubt before. The “hole”, as we referred to, is a symbol of my faith journey. It appeared to be an obstacle I could not overcome, but in the end I completed it with efforts. I feel this pig pen wasn't easy to create but was so rewarding to give.

    I've always struggled to be on a journey of faith, but I've never completely stepped foot onto the path until Guatemala. I've always tried to open my heart to everyone around me and give them my love. I feel as though I cut open my heart and share every bit of love I had with these orphans. There is one orphan named Ceto who will always remain very close to my heart. In Guatemale, I sponsor with thirty dollars a month, but it doesn't seem enough. I'll return there next summer and give more of my love for a whole month.

    When it was time to leave, I looked out of the window and saw not just ordinary children. Overall, the most significant accomplishment I made in Guatemala was stepping towards my own faith journey and not looking back.

    Suppose you are a visitor in the land of Mongolia, some friends ask you to eat with them. What kind of manners do they want you to have? They want you to give a loud burp (饱嗝)after you finish eating. Burping would show that you like your food. In some countries, if you give a big burp, you are told to say “Excuse me, please”.

    In many places people like to eat together. But in some parts of Polynesia it is bad manners（没礼貌） to be seen eating at all. People show their good manners by turning their backs on others while they eat.

    What are manners like in an East African town? The people try not to see you. They are being polite. You may see a friend. He may not see you at all. If you are polite, you will sit down beside him. You will wait until he finishes what he is doing. Then he will talk to you. Manners are different all over the world. But it is good to know that all manners begin in the same way. People need ways to show that they want to be friends.

    One day in the gym, I asked a coach, "What's the difference between the best athletes and everyone else?" He briefly mentioned the things that you might expect: genetics, luck, talent.

    But then he added something I wasn't expecting. "At some point," he said, "it comes down to who can handle the boredom of training every day and doing the same practice over and over again."

    Most of the time people talk about getting motivated to work on their goals. As a result, I think many people get depressed when they lose focus or motivation because they think that successful people never lack motivation that they seem to be missing. But that's exactly the opposite of what this coach was saying.

    When I was an athlete, I loved going to practice the week after a big win. Who wouldn't? Your coach is happy, your teammates are excited, and you feel like you can beat anyone. As an entrepreneur, I love working when customers are rolling in and things are going well. Getting results has a way of pushing you forward.

    But what about when you're bored? What about when the work isn't easy? What about when it feels like nobody is paying attention or you're not getting the results you want? It's the ability to work when work isn't easy that makes the difference.

    If you look at the people who are consistently achieving their goals, you start to realize that it's not the events or the results that make them different. It's their commitment to the process. They fall in love with the daily practice.

    So, fall in love with boredom. Fall in love with repetition and practice. Fall in love with the process of what you do and let the results take care of themselves.

    Standing in line for the latest iPhone at the Apple store  queuing for tickets to the match or even just waiting at the post office might just have got a lot easier.

Japanese car-maker Nissan announces that it has just the thing to relieve the painful legs of tired queuers.

    The new system of self-driving chairs is designed to detect when someone at the front of the queue is called, and automatically move everyone else one step forward in line.

    The new invention is shown in a company video, which shows a busy restaurant with customers waiting outside. In the video, diners are sitting in a row of chairs, but will not have to stand when the next hungry diner is called to a table. Instead, the chairs, equipped with autonomous technology that detects the seat ahead, move along a path toward the front of the line. When the person at the front of the queue is called, the empty chair at the front can sense it is empty and so moves out of line. Cameras on the remaining chairs then sense the movement and follow automatically.

    “The system, which is similar to the kind used in Nissan's autonomous vehicle technology, will be tested at select restaurants in Japan this year," Nissan said. "It appeals to anyone who has queued for hours outside a crowded restaurant: it rids the boredom and physical pain of standing in line,” Nissan added.

    Although Tokyo has some 160,000 restaurants, long queues are not uncommon. Chosen restaurants that meet the criteria will be able to show the chairs outside their restaurants next year. Nissan also released a short video showing the chairs being used in an art gallery, moving slowly in front of the various paintings to let viewers appreciate the art without the need to stand up.

    Boomerang children who return to live with their parents after university can be good for families, leading to closer, more supportive relationships and increased contact between the generations, a study has found.

    The findings contradict research published earlier this year showing that returning adult children trigger a significant decline in their parents' quality of life and wellbeing.

    The young adults taking part in the study were "more positive than might have been expected about moving back home—the shame is reduced as so many of their peers are in the same position, and they acknowledged the benefits of their parents' financial and emotional support. Daughters were happier than sons, often slipping back easily into teenage patterns of behaviour, the study found.

    Parents on the whole were more uncertain, expressing concern about the likely duration of the arrangement and how to manage it. But they acknowledged that things were different for graduates today, who leave university with huge debts and fewer job opportunities.

    The families featured in the study were middle-class and tended to view the achievement of adult independence for their children as a "family project". Parents accepted that their children required support as university students and then as graduates returning home, as they tried to find jobs paying enough to enable them to move out and get on the housing ladder.

    "However", the study says, "day-to-day tensions about the prospects of achieving different dimensions of independence, which in a few extreme cases came close to conflict, characterised the experience of a majority of parents and a little over half the graduates".

    Areas of disagreement included chores, money and social life. While parents were keen to help, they also wanted different relationships from those they had with their own parents, and continuing to support their adult children allowed them to remain close.