Last spring, I was fortunate to be chosen to join in an exchange study program. The moment I arrived in Paris, I was greeted by a nice French couple who would become my host parents. The bit of French I had taken in high school began coming out of my mouth; speaking the language would only become more natural over the course of the term. At the airport, we all got into the couple's car and began the journey to their townhouse. We talked the whole way, getting to know one another.

    Every day afterwards, I would eat breakfast with the two of them, and then we'd all go our separate ways for the day. In the evening, my host mother would make delicious dinners for the three of us. My experience was exciting until I received some shocking news from my program coordinator（协调人）: There had been a death in my host parents' family and they would have to go away for several weeks to deal with all the business that arises from the death. That afternoon, I had to move out of one family's house and into another.

    The coordinator told me I'd have a roommate and asked whether I would mind sharing a bedroom with an English speaker. To avoid speaking my native language, I asked not to be placed with an English-speaking roommate. When I got to my new room, I introduced myself to my new roommate Paolo, a Brazilian（巴西人）, the same age as I, whom I was surprised to find playing one of my favorite CDs on his computer! In just a few hours, we knew we'd be good friends for the rest of the term.

    I left France with many stories, so when people ask me what my favorite part of the trip was, they always hear about my Brazilian friend Paolo and the weekdays in class, weeknights on the town, and weekends exploring France we enjoyed together. I would recommend an exchange program to anyone who wants to experience foreign cultures and gain meaningful friendships.

    We all fail,all the time.We might miss a call with a client because of an emergency work meeting,or miss that meeting because another project has suddenly become urgent.And then we (or our families) get sick,and we have to shift priorities around again.

    These unsystematic failures are benign,though.They reflect that all of us have limited resources.There simply is not enough time,energy,or money,to do everything you want to do all the time.Part of being a responsible adult is learning to make trade offs: balancing your conflicting goals and trying to get as much done as you can in the time you have.

    The thing you really need to watch out for is the systematic failure.The systematic failure happens when there's a particular goal you want to achieve,but never get to.The causes of systematic failures usually boil down to some combination of these three factors:

    1).Short-term pressures versus long-term goals.Most of us prefer to achieve pressing short-term goals rather than put time into long-term projects.Lots of research suggests that our brains are wired to prefer tasks that pay off in the short term rather than those whose benefit is long-term.The people who do manage to accomplish their long-term goals create regular space to make progress on them.

    2)._________Without even realizing it,we often do what is easiest to accomplish rather than what we say is most important.Email is a great example.If you are like most people,you keep your email program open at work all day. Consequently,each new message is an invitation to drop what you are working on to check it.It feels like work and it's much easier than finishing that 100-slide presentation.Simply shutting off email for a few hours a day can remove this source of distraction from the environment.

    3).Working for too long.Many workplaces create pressure to stay at the office for more and more hours,which (paradoxically) creates opportunities for systematic failures.Work is not an iron man competition where the last person there wins.Most people have an optimal（最佳的）number of hours they can work each day.For example,I can be productive at work for about 8-9 hours a day.If I spend any more time at work than that,then at some point,I start doing "fake work."

    The next time you run into trouble,assess whether it's an unsystematic failure or a systematic one.When you notice a systematic failure in your life,you need to make a change in your behavior.If you don't make a change,you will continue to fail.

    Finally,if you experience a lot of unsystematic failures,it might be worth rethinking the number of tasks you are taking on.Perhaps you need to offload some responsibilities onto someone else,before you start experiencing more systematic failures.

    It was a warm April day when a big fat envelope came in the mail from the only college I had ever imagined attending. I tore open the packet. My eyes were fixed on the word “congratulations”. I don't remember ever smiling so wide.

    Then I looked at my financial(财政的) package.

    The cost of Dream School's tuition(学费), room and board was around ＄40,000 ? An impossible sum! How could I afford to attend? What good reasons did I have to go there when three other fine colleges were offering me free tuition? My other choices were good, solid schools even if they weren't as famous as my first choice.

    In my mind, attending my dream university would be the only way to realize my dream of becoming a world-class writer. My parents understood how I felt. They told me that even though it would be a financial problem, I could go wherever I would be happiest. But as I was always careful with money, I wasn't sure what to do.

    One of the schools that offered me a full ride had an informational dinner one night in the spring. Considering my parents' financial difficulties, I decided to drive the 45 minutes and attend. At first, all I had planned to do was smile politely, eat free food, listen quietly. But I surprised myself.

    At dinner the president of the university talked about the wonderful activities on campus (校园) including guest lectures and social gatherings. He also made it perfectly clear that free food would be offered at all future events. He continued with explanations of professors, class sizes, activities, and sporting events on campus. As he spoke, I began to realize that this school, though not as good as my first choice, might be the best one for me. It seemed small yet with many great programs. It seemed challenging yet caring.

    As the president ended his speech, we clapped politely and pushed back our chairs. As I walked out of that door, a feeling of comfort washed over me. Looking at the campus that night, I realized that I would be spending the next four years right there.

    In all honesty, my university is not as well-known as my “dream” university. However, it turned out to be the right choice of schools for me.

    Almost every light comedy or situation comedy makes me feel like I should be drinking wine every night with my best friend while one of us tries on clothes. Not only should we share the same dress size, but we should also have a long, rich history of togetherness and secrets. Clearly, this is not reality.

    I have 598 friends. OK, but if I'm honest, 99.3 percent of those friends are those I met only once or acquaintances who live too far away to see regularly. That leaves 4 people, who I can call anytime, not feeling like I'm absolutely wasting their time. The remaining 0.2, I've decided, is my houseplant. I can tell it anything.

    Feeling the same way? You're absolutely not alone. Most of us find our "people" in school, but over time life changes: marriage, kids, etc. We grow out of our relationships and they grow out of us.

    So when the relationships come to an end, how do you find a new one?

    A woman in my apartment building, who I had seen around over the years, approached me one day and introduced herself. She bravely stated, "You seem cool. Do you want to hang out with me sometime? I'm looking for new friends." I almost dropped my bag of groceries at her social honesty. And now we get together for coffee a few times a year, gossip (八卦) about the neighbors, and take in the mail when one of us is on vacation. But a few times a year isn't enough for me.

    So, what counts as true friendship as you get older? For me, it's feeling comfortable enough to be myself. And if you're like me, it's also trust — not just keeping the secret, but trusting that my life choices aren't their gossip elsewhere.

    Freelance writers Wanted

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Writing for AC is a great work opportunity for students, stay-at-home parents and freelance writers –you can work on your own time and submit papers, reviews, essays, etc. on any topic that you have interest in. This is a job you can do from anywhere—all you need is access to the Internet.

    Here's how you get started:

    1) Go to www. associatedcontent.com/join/hot jobs.

    2) Follow the instructions to register.

    3) Fill in your profile(简介),making note of your previous experience and your areas of experience (if any).

    4) Start submitting articles. You'll begin earning money as soon as your articles are published and the amount is based on the page views it receives.

    In addition to our own library of content, we have hundreds of partners (Partner Content Team) who work with AC to obtain high-quality. As such, there are lots of opportunities for our most talented and productive writers to accept "Partner Assignments" on an as-needed basis.

    If you're interested in accepting higher paying Partner Assignments, send us a link to your AC profile once you have submitted at least five articles. We will review all submissions and pass them along to our Partner Content Team. If selected, you will start receiving special paid assignments from us on a regular basis, which you are free to accept or ignore.

    NOTE: we pay our writers via PayPal daily.

    Any questions? Email me: dernel@asociatedcontent.com

Daphne Soares, a biologist, makes an amazing discovery about alligators. The first time she got really close to an alligator (短吻鳄) was when she was helping to bold down an eight-foot American alligator. It was then that she noticed is face was covered with little black spots. This led to the discovery of the little black dots.

She started her study of the black dots. When she read the books and scientific journals, she learned that people had noticed the dots, but no one really knew what the dots were for.

To find out the secret she placed electrodes (电极) on nerves coming from some of the dots. When the nerves fired, they sent a message to the brain and created a tiny electric current. Just then she heard a small sound over a loudspeaker. She tired to see if the dots acted like eyes and temperature sensors, but nothing worked.

One day she was careless with dropping a tool into an alligator's tank. When she put her hand in the tank to get the tool out, she made small waves in the water. When they reached the alligator's face, she heard a noise over the speaker. She then realized that the dots must be sensitive to the changes in pressure when hit by waves of water.

After that, she is now studying blind cavefish. She is trying to learn whether they are blind from birth or lose their sight as they grow up. She is also doing more research on crocodilians (鳄目). She wants to find out how the genes of alligators with pressure sensors only on their faces differ from the genes of crocodilians that have pressure sensors all over their body.