As countless unmade beds and unfinished homework assignments prove, kids need rules. Yet how parents make demands can powerfully influence a child's social skills, psychologists at the University of Virginia recently found after the conclusion of a study investigating the transition from adolescence to adulthood.

    Initially 184 13-year-olds filled out multiple surveys, including one to assess how often their parents employed psychologically controlling strategies, such as inducing guilt or threatening to withdraw affection. The kids rated, for example, how typical it would be for Dad to suggest that “if I really cared for him, I would not do things that caused him to worry”or for Mom to become “less friendly when I did not see things her way.”

    The researchers followed up with the subjects at ages 18 and 21, asking the young adults to bring along a close friend and, later, a romantic partner if they had one. These pairs were asked to answer hypothetical (假设的) questions that were purposefully written to inspire a difference of opinion. “We wanted to see whether they could navigate a disagreement in a healthy way, ”says study leader Barbara Oudekerk, now at the U. S. Department of Justice's bureau of statistics.

    In the October issue of Child Development, Oudekerk and her colleagues report that the 13-year-olds who had highly controlling parents struggled in friendly disagreements at age 18. They had difficulty stating their opinions in a confident, reasoned manner in comparison to the kids without controlling parents. And when they did speak up, they often failed to express themselves in warm and productive ways.

    The researchers suspect that pushy parents ruin their child's ability to learn how to argue his or her own viewpoint in other relationships. Although parents do need to set boundaries, domineering strategies imply that any disagreement will damage the bond itself. Separate findings suggest that parents who explain the reasons behind their rules and turn disagreements into conversations leave youngsters better prepared for future arguments.

    The consequences of tense or domineering relationships appear to get worse with time. This study also found that social difficulties at 18 predicted even poorer communication abilities at age 21. Psychologist Shmuel Shulman of Bar-Ilan University in Israel, who did not participate in the work, thinks these conclusions convincingly reveal how relationship patterns “carry forward” into new friendships.

    Washington, D.C. Bicycle Tours

    Cherry Blossom Bike Tour in Washington, D.C.

    Duration: 3 hours

    This small group bike tour is a fantastic way to see a world-famous cherry trees with beautiful flowers of Washington, D.C. Your guide will provide a history lesson about the trees and the famous monuments where they blossom. Reserve your spot before availability — the cherry blossoms—disappear!

    Washington Capital Monuments Bicycle Tour

    Duration: 3 hours (4 miles)

    Join a guided bike tour and view some of the most popular monuments in Washington, D.C. Explore the monuments and memorials on the National Mall as your guide shares unique facts and history at each stop. Guided tour includes bike, helmet, cookies and bottled water.

    Capital City Bike Tour In Washington, D.C.

    Duration: 3 hours

    Morning or Afternoon, this bike tour is the perfect tour for D. C. newcomers and locals looking to experience Washington, D.C. in a healthy way with minimum effort. Knowledgeable guides will entertain you with the most, interesting stories about Presidents, Congress, memorials, and parks. Comfortable bikes and a smooth tour route(路线) make cycling between the sites fun and relaxing.

Washington Capital Sites at Night Bicycle Tour

    Duration: 3 hours (7miles)

    Join a small group bike tour for an evening of exploration in the heart of Washington, D.C. Get up close to the monuments and memorials as you bike the sites of Capitol Hill and the National Mall. Frequent stops are made for photo taking as your guide offers unique facts and history. Tour includes bike, helmet, and bottled water. All riders are equipped with reflective vests and safety lights.

    Once there was an 11-year-old boy who went fishing with his father in the middle of the Finger lake. On the day before salmon(鲑鱼) season opened, they were fishing early in the evening, catching other fish with worms. Then the boy tied on a small silver lure (鱼饵) and put it into the lake. Suddenly he felt that something very big pulling on the lure. His father watched with admiration as the boy skillfully brought the fish beside the bank. Finally he lifted the tired fish from the water. It was the largest one he had ever seen, but it was a salmon.

    The boy and his father looked at the big fish. The father lit a match and looked at his watch. It was 10 pm – two hours before the season opened. He looked at the fish, then at the boy. “You'll have to put it back, son,” he said.

    “Dad!” cried the boy, “There will be other fish,” said his father. “Not as big as this one,” cried the boy. He looked around the lake. No other fishermen or boats were in sight in the moonlight. He looked again at his father.

    Even though no one had seen them, nor could anyone ever know what time he had caught the fish, the boy could tell from his father's voice that the decision couldn't be changed. He threw the huge salmon into the dark water. The big fish disappeared. The boy thought that he would never again see such a big fish.

    That was 34 years ago. Today the boy is an successful architect in New York City. He often takes his own son and daughters to fish at the same place.

    And he was right. He has never again caught such a large fish as the one he got that night long ago. But he does see that same fish … again and again … every time he has an ethical (伦理的，道德的) decision to make. For, as his father had taught him, ethics are simple matters of right and wrong. It is only the practice of ethics that is difficult.

    As advances in auto-technology have placed a huge number of self-driving machines on our roads and sidewalks, a side product has materialized in recent years: robot-babysitting.

    In Phoenix, human attendants will remotely monitor Google's upcoming Waymo robot-taxis, using the cars cameras to evaluate and adapt to passenger or road challenges. State safety regulations typically require that auto-vehicles be accompanied at all times by humans. These professionals' job titles range from "robot handler" to "safety driver," but they have essentially the same responsibilities: monitoring robot behavior for safety and performance, and answering questions about the technology. Broadly speaking, robot-babysitting jobs fall under the umbrella of careers in automation, which include maintenance, engineering, and programming.

    However, some observers note that certain kinds of robot-babysitting –-- the kind that is boring and doesn't require much education –-- can make for thankless work. The safety drivers who sit in self-driving cars have described their roles as" exhausting" and "demanding," and many told me about the constant pressure to stay vigilant at all times. "It's incredibly hard to sit in a chair and stare at a computer without doing anything for eight hours," Ramsey said. "But you do not need a Ph.D. to do it." In March 2018, the field of robot babysitting took a beating when a self-driving Uber in Tempe, Arizona, hit a 49-year old named Elaine Herzberg. Dashcam footage showed that Rafaela Vasquez, the car's safety driver, had not been looking at the road when the accident occurred. Investigators are deciding if Vasquez will be charged with murder.

    According to the McKinsey Global Institute, 10 million to 800 million jobs globally could be lost to automation by 2030. In the long term, it's inevitable that robot-babysitters will go the way of elevator operators and lamplighters. But they'll also birth new robot-related roles." A huge number of jobs will be created as auto-vehicles are loosed into the environment,” Ramsey said. In 2016, Bosch started training students from Schoolcraft College, a community college in Michigan, in auto-vehicle repair: Toyota has trained students in maintenance as well. "We might even see a return to low-level jobs where people come and fuel the car for you," Ramsey said. "Until we can wirelessly charge, someone needs to refuel them.” The hardest-to-automate industries, as it happens, are the ones that require looking after humans: childcare, education, health-care aides. Robot babysitters might feel like they have gained the job of the future. But in fact, real babysitters might be better positioned.

    When I was about twelve, I headed to a restaurant for dinner with my family. It was winter, and on that night, the wind was really blowing hard.

    As my mom and I headed to the restaurant from our car, a girl about my age and her mother came up to us. They asked if we had any spare change (零钱). My mom right away asked where they lived. They pointed to an old car in a parking lot across the street. The girl said there were six of them living in that car. My mom said she had something to do after handing the people a few dollars. She sent me inside the restaurant with my dad and my three siblings (兄弟姐妹). But she didn't come. Later, I found out she had gone home and put all the food in our cupboards (食橱) into a few bags. Then, she brought that food over to the car and handed the bags to the family. I wasn't there when that happened, but I can only imagine the joy it brought to those people.

    A few days later, when I actually found out about what she had done, I asked her why she helped those people. She told me that they were not lucky. I remember the face of that girl who had asked us for change. She was the same age as me, yet we looked so different.

    Here I stood, dressed in almost new clothes, headed to eat in a restaurant and then back home to the bedroom I shared with my younger sister. I remember thinking that the other girl didn't have any food to eat and she was heading back to a cold car shared with five other people.

    After painting this picture in my mind, I understood why my mom had done what she did. I will never forget what she did that night, and how she taught me one of the best lessons I ever learned.

Short Short Story Competition

We're looking for short fiction stories! Think you can write a winning story in 1,500 words or less? Enter the 21st Annual Writer's Digest Short Short Story Competition for your chance to win $3,000 in cash, get published in Writer's Digest magazine, and a paid trip to our ever popular Writer's Digest Conference!

Prizes

The First Place Winner will receive：

●$3,000 in cash

●Their short story title published in Writer's Digest magazine's September 2021 issue

●A paid trip to the Writer's Digest Annual Conference

The Second Place Winner will receive:

●$1,500 in cash

●Their short story title published in Writer's Digest magazine's September 2021 issue

The Third Place Winner will receive:

●$500 in cash

●Their short story title published in Writer's Digest magazine's September 2021 issue

Fourth through Tenth Place Winners will receive:

●$100 in cash

●Their short story titles published in Writer's Digest magazine's September 2021 issue

Eleventh through Twenty-Fifth Place Winners will receive:

●A $50 gift certificate for writersdigestshop.com

How to Enter

●All entries must be submitted online. Entries must be accompanied by the required judging fee. We accept PayPal or credit card payment for the required judging fee.

●All entries must be in English. Only original works that have not been published in print, digital or online publications will be considered

●BE SURE OF YOUR WORD COUNT! Entries beyond the word limits will be disqualified. Type the exact word count at the top of the manuscript(稿件).

For more information visit our Preparing Your Entry Page or our FAQ page.