Phrases like “tiger mom" and "helicopter parent” have made their way into everyday language. Many of us find ourselves drawn to the idea that with just a bit more parental hard work and effort, we might turn out children with bright futures. But is there anything wrong with a kind of“over parenting style”?

    Parental involvement has a long history of being studied. Many of the studies, conducted by Diana Baumrind, a famous psychologist at the University of California, Berkeley, have found that a good parent is the one who is involved and reacts to her child in a positive way, who sets high expectations but gives her child independence. These “authoritative parents”appear to hit the sweet spot of parental involvement and generally raise children who do better academically, psychologically and socially than children whose parents are not strict and less involved, or controlling and more involved. Why is this parenting style so successful?

    Authoritative parents actually help improve motivation in their children. Carol Dweck, a social psychologist at Stanford University, has done research that indicates why authoritative parents raise more motivated children. In a typical experiment, Dr. Dweck takes young children into a room and asks them to solve a simple puzzle. Most do so with little difficulty. Butthen Dr. Dweck tells some, but not all, of the kids how clever they are. As it turns out, the children who are not told they're smart are more motivated to solve increasingly difficult puzzles. They also show higher levels of confidence and show greater progress in puzzle-solving.

    As the experiment suggests, praising children's talents and abilities seems to shake their confidence. Dealing with more difficult puzzles carries the risk of losing one's status as “smart”. Dr. Dweck's work strongly supports that of Dr. Baumrind, who also found that reasonably supporting a child's independence and limiting interference (干涉) causes better academic and emotional results.

    The central task of growing up is to develop a sense of self that is independent and confident. If you treat your young child who is just learning to walk as if she can't walk, you reduce her confidence. Allowing children to make mistakes is one of the greatest challenges of parenting. It is easier when they are young. The potential mistakes carry greater risks, and part of being a parent is reducing risk for our children.

    After giving a talk at a high school,I was asked to pay a visit to a special student.An illness had kept the boy home,but he had expressed an interest in meeting me.I was told it would mean a great deal to him,so I agreed.

    During the nine-mile drive to his home,I found out something about Matthew.He had muscular dystrophy（肌肉萎缩症）.When he was born,the doctor told his parents that he would not live to five,and then they were told he would not make it to ten.Now he was thirteen.He wanted to meet me because I was a Gold-medal power lifter,and I knew about overcoming obstacles and going for my dreams.

    I spent over an hour talking to Matthew.Never once did he complain or ask,"Why me?"He spoke about winning and succeeding and going for his dreams.Obviously,he knew what he was talking about.He didn't mention that his classmates had made fun of him because he was different.He just talked about his hopes for the future,and how one day he wanted to lift weights with me.When we had finished talking,I went to my briefcase（公文包）and pulled out the first gold medal I had won and put it around his neck.I told him he was more of a winner and knew more about success and overcoming obstacles than I ever would.He looked at it for a moment,then took it off and handed it back to me.He said,"You are a champion.You earned that medal.Someday when I get to the Olympics and win my own medal,I will show it to you."

    Last summer I received a letter from Matthew's parents telling me that Matthew had passed away.They wanted me to have a letter he had written to me a few days before:

Dear Dick,

    My mum said I should send you a thank-you letter for the picture you sent me.I also want to let you know that the doctors tell me that I don't have long to live any more,but I still smile as much as I can.I told you someday that I would go to the Olympics and win a gold medal,but I know now I will never get to do that.However,I know I'm a champion,and God knows that too.When I get to Heaven,God will give me my medal and when you get there,I will show it to you.Thank you for loving me.

Your friend,

Matthew

    “This is your last chance,” warned Mrs Gillfeather. I broke out in a sweat and my hands started to shake. We both wanted to get to sleep, but before we could, I had to put a cannula(针管) in her arm.

    Before becoming a doctor I'd only a vague idea what a cannula was, coming from an hour spent with a plastic arm while at medical school. Once I became a doctor, however, I couldn't seem to get away from them.

    For those of you who are lucky enough to have never come into contact with one, they're tiny little tubes that are put into a vein(静脉)so that fluid or medicines can do directly into the blood. That's the theory. Unfortunately, the problem is that for them to work, you have to get them into the vein in the first place. This tends to be trickier than you'd imagine—and it's a job that tends to fall on the junior doctors.

    Mrs Gillfeather's veins were particularly elusive that evening. I'd been jabbing the needle in for at least 20 minutes.

    “Isn't there someone else who could do this?” she asked, for the fourth time. “Someone who knows what they're doing, perhaps,” she said under her breath, just loud enough for me to hear.

    Finally, I got it in. Mrs. Gillfeather and I both breathed a sigh of relief

    Just as I was about to leave the ward, the nurse called me over, “Max, there's another cannula to do on bed 16.”

    Last year, when our three-year-old great-granddaughter Kylie was taken to see Santa Claus, she made sure to give him her wish list of toys. A week later, she ran into a different Santa in a mall. He stopped to ask what she wanted for Christmas. Kylie was surprised and let him know: “If you can't remember what I told you last week, how are you going to remember on Christmas Eve?”

    Mary Paul, Milwaukee, Wisconsin

    As my son Mike and I drove to the mall, we passed a Salvation Army Santa ringing his bell. “Mike,” I said, “there's Santa!” He shook his head. “That's just some guy in a Santa suit,” he said. It saddened me to think that maybe my son no longer believed in Santa, and we drove the rest of the way in silence. At the mall, we spotted another Santa greeting young believers. Suddenly, Mike took off toward him. Turning back to me, he shouted. “Now, there's the real Santa!”

    Michael E. Fahey, Huntley, Illinois

    We immigrated to America from China when I was six. Because I was shy and didn't speak English, I had few friends. My days were spent at home with my brother. Sometimes we'd help our neighbor Mr. Mueller pull weeds. One Christmas Day, there was a knock at the door. Grandma opened it, and there stood a big fellow in red with a snow-white beard, laughing, “Ho, ho, ho!” He handed out presents and made us laugh. I had so much fun. It was years later when I learned that our special Santa was our neighbor Mr. Mueller.

    Joanne Tang, Litchfield Park, Arizona

    For all the pressures and rewards of regionalization (地区化) and globalization, local identities remain the most deeply impressed. Even if the end result of globalization is to make the world smaller, its scope seems to foster the need for more private local connections among many individuals. As Bernard Poignant, mayor of the town of Quimper in Brittany, told the Washington Post, "Man is a fragile animal and he needs his close attachments. The more open the world becomes, the more ties there will be to one's roots and one's land."

    In most communities, local languages such as Poignant's Breton serve a strong symbolic function as a clear mark of "authenticity (原真性)". The sum total of a community's shared historical experience, authenticity reflects a noticeable line from a culturally idealized past to the present, carried by the language and traditions associated with the community's origins. A concern for authenticity leads most secular (世俗的) Israelis to defend Hebrew among themselves while also acquiring English and even Arabic. The same obsession with authenticity drives Hasidic Jews in Israel or the Diaspora to champion Yiddish while also learning Hebrew and English. In each case, authenticity amounts to a central core of cultural beliefs and interpretations that are not only resistant to globalization but also are actually reinforced by the "threat" that globalization seems to present to these historical values. Scholars may argue that cultural identities change over time in response to specific reward systems. But locals often resist such explanation and defend authenticity and local mother tongues against the perceived threat of globalization with near religious eagerness.

    As a result, never before in history have there been as many standardized languages as there are today: roughly 1,200. Many smaller languages, even those with far fewer than one million speakers, have benefited from state-sponsored or voluntary preservation movements. On the most informal level, communities in Alaska and the American northwest have formed Internet discussion groups in an attempt to pass on Native American languages to younger generations. In the Basque, Catalan, and Galician regions of Spain, such movements are fiercely political and frequently involved loyal resistance to the Spanish government over political and linguistic rights. Projects have ranged from a campaign to print Spanish money in the four official languages of the state to the creation of language immersion nursery and primary schools. Zapatistas in Mexico are championing the revival of Mayan languages in an equally political campaign for local autonomy.

    In addition to causing the feeling of the subjective importance of local roots, supporters of local languages defend their continued use on practical grounds. Local tongues foster higher levels of school success, higher degrees of participation in local government, more informed citizenship, and better knowledge of one's own culture, history, and faith. Government and relief agencies can also use local languages to spread information about industrial and agricultural techniques as well as modern health care to diverse audiences. Development workers in West Africa, for example, have found that the best way to teach the vast number of farmers with little or no formal education how to sow and rotate crops for higher yields is in these local tongues. Nevertheless, both regionalization and globalization require that more and more speakers of local languages be multi-literate.

    In today's society, almost half of all marriages in America end in divorce, which means many children have divorced parents, and 1 am by no means a rare case. There are plenty of other people understanding the difficulty of having separated parents and living in two households. Despite this, people who haven't personally experienced divorce really have no idea what it's like.

    My parents have handled divorce and joint custody(监护) well, at least better than expected. Occasionally my parents put up the curtain to block my brother and I from the reality and I will get a glimpse of the not-so-bright-and-sunny reality, the fact that my parents simply don't like each other, let along get along. They try to make sure my brother and I don't overhear the argument and do their best to keep my brother and I out of their issues.

    Last Mother's Day I woke up at my dad's house with a text message from my mom saying, "Call me when u can." I rolled out of bed and dialed her number. On the other end of the phone I could hear my mom's trembling voice. "Your dad isn't letting me have you until 7 tonight." I knew Mother's Day was important to her and me. I began to get angry with my dad, but I told myself that getting mad and fueling my mom's anger towards my dad wouldn't help. Later my father told me that he had planned to spend time with my grandma and step-mom for Mother's Day, which I understood and accepted but I also understood why my mom wouldn't accept it.

    While having divorced parents is difficult, I have learned a lot about how to deal with conflict from an early age and I've been blessed with an extremely large family, which is an amazing network of support.