Pacing and Pausing

    Sara tried to befriend her old friend Steve's new wife, but Betty never seemed to have anything to say. While Sara felt Betty didn't hold up her end of the conversation, Betty complained to Steve that Sara never gave her a chance to talk. The problem had to do with expectations about pacing and pausing.

    Conversation is a turn-taking game. When our habits are similar, there's no problem. But if our habits are different, you may start to talk before I'm finished or fail to take your turn when I'm finished. That's what was happening with Betty and Sara.

    It may not be coincidental that Betty, who expected relatively longer pauses between turns, is British, and Sara, who expected relatively shorter pauses, is American. Betty often felt interrupted by Sara. But Betty herself became an interrupter and found herself doing most of the talking when she met a visitor from Finland. And Sara had a hard time cutting in on some speakers from Latin America or Israel.

    The general phenomenon, then, is that the small conversation techniques, like pacing and pausing, lead people to draw conclusions not about conversational style but about personality and abilities. These habitual differences are often the basis for dangerous stereotyping (思维定势). And these social phenomena can have very personal consequences. For example, a woman from the southwestern part of the US went to live in an eastern city to take up a job in personnel. When the Personnel Department got together for meetings, she kept searching for the right time to break in — and never found it. Although back home she was considered outgoing and confident, in Washington she was viewed as shy and retiring. When she was evaluated at the end of the year, she was told to take a training course because of her inability to speak up.

    That's why slight differences in conversational style — tiny little things like microseconds of pause — can have a great effect on one's life. The result in this cause was a judgment of psychological problems — even in the mind of the woman herself, who really wondered what was wrong with her and registered for assertiveness training.

    Many people traveled to Las Vegas, Nevada last week for the 50th Consumer Electronics Show, or CES. The show is said to have the largest collection of new electronic devices in the world.

    The show had many examples of “smart home” devices. “Smart home” technology is designed to make life easier for people by letting computers control many things inside our homes. One such device actually begins working outside the home, when someone arrives and rings the doorbell.

    “When someone comes to your front door and rings the doorbell, the light can turn on immediately. I get a notification when I'm halfway around the world that someone came, and I can start talking to the person who's at my front door, and I can say, 'Oh, here let me let you in,' I can unlock the door for them very easily.” Said Vivint, a smart home service provider.

    One electronics maker launched a device that lets people see and interact with their animals when they are away. The device, from Petcube, lets you remotely watch and talk to your pet through a personal device, according to a company official. It can even give the pet a treat—if you approve and order it.

    For heating or cooling, there is a smart thermostat. This device can also send you a message if a big storm causes leaks of flooding. “We're trying to catch it with just a few drips before it becomes a real big problem,” said Mike Sale of iDevices.

    A concern for many homeowners is the possibility that someone else might find a way to attack these smart home devices. An official from Vivint said his company is sure that only owners of the home can gain use of information on the devices. Warren Katz from iDevices said his company employs engineers from the defense industry to help prevent hacking.

    How to eat healthfully can be especially complex for working women who often have neither the desire nor the time to cook for themselves (or for anyone else).Registered dietitian(营养专家) Barbara Morrissey suggests that a few simple rules can help.

"Go for nutrient dense foods that contain a multiple of nutrients," she suggests, "For example, select whole wheat bread as a breakfast food, rather than coffee and cake. Or drink orange juice rather than orange drink, which contains only a small percentage of real juice——the rest is largely colored sugar water. You just can't compare the value of these foods, the nutrient dense ones are so superior," she emphasizes.

    Morrissey believes that variety is not only the spice of life; it's the foundation of a healthful diet. Diets which are based on one or two foods are not only virtually impossible to keep up the strength, they can be very harmful, she says, because nutrients aren't supplied in sufficient amounts or balance.

    According to Morrissey, trying to find a diet that can cure your illnesses, or make you a super woman is a fruitless search. As women, many of us are too concerned with staying thin, she says, and we believe that vitamins are some kind of magic cure to replace food.

"We need carbohydrates(碳水化合物) protein and fat—they are like the wood in the fireplace. The vitamins and minerals are like the match, the spark, for the fuel," she explains, "We need them all, but in a very different proportion. And if the fuel isn't there, the spark is useless.”

    Everybody seeks happiness in the world. We will be really happy when we get a new car or a big house or get married... The thing is, if we are continually searching for happiness in the outside world, we will be very disappointed. It seems as if we are forever chasing it and it is always just one step away.

    Happiness is a short state of mind, just like the state of sadness or joy or anger. It would not be possible for us to be in a happy state 24 hours a day. If you think that sounds laughable, think about being at a funeral when everyone is mourning. Would it feel right to go about with a huge smile on your face?

    What we go through in our lives helps us grow and understand the value of happiness. We need to be able to respond in all manner of ways according to what we are dealing with at any given time. All emotions and states are part of the life.

    Happiness can be found in reaching out and being in relationship with people. Though time or money may be lost in helping others, these will become our happy memories. Happiness is a dance with whatever in front of you. It is a deep connection to everything around you. It does not come from expecting others to bring you joy but from how you can create joy for others.

    If you want to experience happiness more often, see what you can do to put a smile on someone else's face each day and notice how much happier you feel when you have achieved that. Happiness is not to be found in material possessions. It is freely available to everyone at any time. All that is required to experience happiness is that you place your focus on moments in your life that make you smile.

Body language is one of {#blank#}1{#/blank#}(powerful) means of communication, often even more powerful than {#blank#}2{#/blank#}(speak) language. People around the world show all kinds of feelings, wishes and attitudes that they might ever speak aloud. {#blank#}3{#/blank#} so many cultural differences between people, it is great {#blank#}4{#/blank#}(have) some similarities in body language. We can often be wrong about each other, so it is {#blank#}5{#/blank#} amazing thing that we understand each other as well as we do. Not all cultures greet each other in the same way, nor {#blank#}6{#/blank#}(be) they comfortable in the same way with touching or {#blank#}7{#/blank#}(distant) between people. These actions are not good or bad, but are simply ways {#blank#}8{#/blank#} cultures have developed. I have seen, however, that {#blank#}9{#/blank#}(culture) customs for body language are very general—nor all members of a culture behave in the same way. In general, though, {#blank#}10{#/blank#}(study) international customs can certainly help avoid difficulties in today's world of cultural crossroads.

Edward Ndiritu joined Lewa Wildlife Reserve in central Kenya in 1996 as a rhino monitor. Back then, illegal hunting had greatly reduced the country's black rhino population. Worried that they might become extinct, he worked his way up to lead Lewa's anti-hunting team. In 2015, his team's community-focused conservation method won him the first Wildlife Ranger Award from conservation charity Tusk.

He grew up in a village between Mount Kenya and the Aberdare Forest, which was once a wildlife route for migrating elephants and black rhinos. He saw them disappear gradually. He realized that hunting and the disruptive actions of the community were the reasons. The demand for rhino horn(角), which is very valuable in Asia, drives hunters. They are part of a big and rich crime network. There are people who help them by giving them equipment. In 2011 and 2012, Lewa had many difficulties. They lost rhinos. It was found that those involved in hunting were also linked to human smuggling(走私) and other illegal activities.

The hunting challenge has changed. Hunters now have networks, get information from the local community, and use technology like phones and motorbikes. Edward's team has adapted by using cameras, sensors, trackers, and a system that tells them when and where hunting might happen. They also work closely with the community, which is now the first 

line of defense. Lewa gives agricultural training, medical help, and business support to rural women. This makes locals more likely to report hunting before it happens.

To be a good forest guard, one needs to be honest, tough, and motivated. Edward now knows that making sure the forest guards are happy and well is very important. He is hopeful about wildlife conservation in Lewa. Funding is a problem, but organizations like Tusk are helping. Conservation is about people. Looking after those outside the reserve is necessary for the future of wildlife. Only when communities can live in harmony with the animals they see every day will there be a good future for wildlife.