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In ancient Egypt, the pharaoh (法老)
treated the poor message runner like a prince when he arrived at the palace, if
he brought good news. However, if the exhausted runner had the misfortune to
bring the pharaoh unhappy news, his head was cut off.
Shades of that spirit spread
over today's conversations. Once a friend and I packed up some peanut butter
and sandwiches for an outing. As we walked light-heartedly out of the door,
picnic basket in hand, a smiling neighbor looked up at the sky and said,
"Oh, boy, bad day for a picnic. The weatherman says it's going to
rain." I wanted to strike him on the face with the peanut butter and
sandwiches. Not for his stupid weather report, for his smile.
Several months ago I was racing
to catch a bus. As I breathlessly put my handful of cash across the Greyhound
counter, the sales agent said with a broad smile, "Oh, that bus left five
minutes ago." Dreams of head-cutting!
It's not the news that makes
someone angry. It's the unsympathetic attitude with which it's delivered.
Everyone must give bad news from time to time, and big winners do it with the
proper attitude. A doctor advising a patient that she needs an operation does
it in a caring way. A boss informing an employee he didn't get the job takes on
a sympathetic tone. Big winners know, when delivering any bad news, they should
share the feeling of the receiver.
Unfortunately, many people are
not aware of this. When you're tired from a long flight, has a hotel clerk
cheerfully said that your room isn't ready yet? When you had your heart set on
the toast beef, has your waiter merrily told you that he just served the last
piece? It makes you as traveler or diner want to land your fist (拳头) right
on their unsympathetic faces.
Had my neighbor told me of the
upcoming rainstorm with sympathy, I would have appreciated his warning. Had the
Greyhound salesclerk sympathetically informed me that my bus had already left,
I probably would have said, "Oh, that's all right. I'll catch the next
one." Big winners, when they bear bad news, deliver bombs with the emotion
the bombarded (被轰炸的) person is sure to have.