B

    I first met Paul Newman in 1968, when George Roy Hill, the director of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, introduced us in New York City. When the studio didn't want me for the film— it wanted somebody as well known as Paul— he stood up for me. I don't know how many people would have done that; they would have listened to their agents or the studio powers.

    The friendship that grew out of the experience of making that film and The Sting four years later had its root in the fact that although there was an age difference, we both came from a tradition of theater and live TV. We were respectful of craft（技艺）and focused on digging into the characters we were going to play. Both of us had the qualities and virtues that are typical of American actors: humorous, aggressive, and making fun of each other— but always with an underlying affection. Those were also at the core （核心）of our relationship off the screen.

    We shared the brief that if you're fortunate enough to have success, you should put something back— he with his Newman's Own food and his Hole in the Wall camps for kids who are seriously ill, and me with Sundance and the institute and the festival. Paul and I didn't see each other all that regularly, but sharing that brought us together. We supported each other financially and by showing up at events.

    I last saw him a few months ago. He'd been in  and out of the hospital.He and I both knew what the deal was,and we didn't talk about it. Ours was a relationship that didn't need a lot of words.

    94% of 3-and 4-year-olds have been spanked(打屁股) at least once during the past year, according to one study.

    74% of mothers believe spanking is acceptable for kids ages 1 to 3, says another study.

    61% of parents take spanking as a "regular form of punishment" for young children, according to a different study.

    Sometimes children do not do what their parents tell them to do. When this happens, a parent tries to help the child to do the right thing. When this does not work, the parent usually punishes the child.

    There are many things that a parent can do. One thing that people have done is to spank the child. When a parent spanks a child, they will use their hand or a hard object to strike them on their bottom. This is meant to show the child that they have done something wrong.

    One parent remembers being spanked when he was a child. His parents used a wooden spoon. When he spanked his own children with his hand, he saw that he put a red mark on his child's leg. He never did that again.

    One problem with spanking is that it teaches the child to hit someone when they do not like what the other person is doing. Another problem with spanking is that the parent is usually angry and can hit the child too hard. Sometimes parents will use spanking for everything and not try other ways to get the child to do the right thing.

    Many parents are not sure of what to do instead of spanking. Some people think that their religion tells them that spanking is okay. Some think that the law lets them do it. The courts say that parents have the right to teach their children how to behave.

    Other things should be tried before a parent decides to spank a child. Telling the child exactly what is wanted from them can be one thing. Giving a child more than one choice is another thing that can be tried. Getting down to the child's level and taking a more child-friendly approach can help as well.

    The third week of SEAL training means Hell Week. It is on Wednesday of Hell Week that you paddle down to the mud flats（泥滩） and spend the next 15 hours trying to survive the freezing-cold mud, the howling wind and the increasing pressure from the instructors to quit. As the sun began to set that Wednesday evening, my training class, having broken the rules, was ordered into the mud. The mud consumed each man till there was nothing visible but our heads. The instructors told us we could leave the mud if only five men would quit—just five men and we could get out of the extreme cold.

    Looking around the mud flat, it was apparent that some students were about to give up. It was still over eight hours till the sun came up--eight more hours of freezing cold. The chattering teeth and shivering moans (呻吟）of the trainees were so loud that it was hard to hear anything. And then, one voice began to echo (回荡）through the night--one voice raised in song. The song was terribly out of tune, but sung with great enthusiasm. One voice became two, and two became three, and before long everyone in the class was singing. We knew that if one man could rise above the great suffering then others could as well. The instructors threatened us with more time in the mud if we kept up the singing—but the singing went on. And somehow, the mud seemed a little warmer, the wind a little less bitter and the dawn not so far away.

    If I have learned anything in my time traveling the world it is the power of hope. The power of one person, Washington, Lincoln, King, Mandela and even a young girl from Pakistan, Malala, can change the world by giving people hope.

    So, if you want to change the world, start singing when you're up to your neck in mud.

    Nearly 19 percent of teachers of color(有色人种教师) left their jobs after the 2014-2015 school year. Some left for personal reasons like taking care of their families. But 50 percent said they left because they were dissatisfied with their employment situation, such as poor working conditions, student discipline problems and large class sizes. Thus, taking immediate measures to improve it is our top priority.

    For years, researchers have proved the benefits of increasing the share of minority teachers in schools, especially as our public school system has turned to one that is made up mostly of minority students. Teachers of color, who are more likely than their white counterparts to choose to work in racially diverse( 多 种 多 样 的 ) schools, offer particular benefits to their students. Graduation rates increase among minority students when they are taught by racially similar educators, research shows. They can also serve as positive role models, and their presence reduces the chance of racial discrimination at school.

    The Shanker Institute report suggests that the rate of minority teacher hiring is not the whole problem. The problem is what happens after these teachers enter the classroom. These teachers often work in high-poverty rural schools. They are more likely to have less-desirable working conditions.

    Diversity is a key component to equality and opportunity. Where there's a diverse teaching workforce, all kids thrive. So solutions must be found at once to turn this trend around. Firstly, schools should develop mentorship programs that support minority teachers once they are in the classroom. Secondly, more money should be spent in improving working conditions in these schools. Of course, school headmasters should also be evaluated on their ability to retain teachers of color.

    The goings-on in the consulting room have become more transparent(透明的）recently. Thank goodness. We know more than the lines supplied by the movies in which the therapist knows all and gives wisdom to those who, sitting on a couch, consult with them. Therapists are interested in how the individual, the couple or the family experiences and understands their difficulties. That has to be a starting place. We can be of value if our first port of call is to listen, to gradually feel ourselves into the shoes of the other, to absorb the feelings that are being conveyed and to think and then to say some words.

    The thinking and talking that I do inside the consulting room is at odds with many features of ordinary conversation. Not that it is mysterious, but it isn't concerned with traditional ways of sharing or identifying. The therapist makes patterns and theories, but they are also reflecting on the words that are spoken, how they are delivered and how the words, once spoken, affect the speaker and the therapist themselves.

    Words can give voice to previously unknown feelings and thoughts. That's why it's called the talking cure. But just as words reveal so, too, can they obscure, and this gets us to the listening and feeling part of the therapy. Whatever and however the words are delivered, they will have an impact on me as a therapist. I might feel hopeless, I might feel energized, I might feel pushed away, I might feel demanded of, I might feel pulled to find solutions.

    The influence of the other is what makes any relationship possible or impossible. A therapist is trained to reflect on how those who consult with them affect them. As I try to step into the shoes of the other and then out again, my effort is to hold both those experiences, plus an awareness of my ease or discomfort with what I encounter in the relationship.

    Feelings are the bread and butter of our work in the consulting room. They inform or modify our ideas and they enable us to find an emotional bridge to what can so hurt for the people we are working with. Along with the more commonly thought-about theories and ideas we have about the psyche, they are an essential part of the therapist's toolkit, certainly for me. The talking cure means talking, yes. It also means the therapist is listening, thinking and feeling.

    Your colleague's sharp comment keeps replaying in your mind. Two of your students are trapped in a "he said/she said" battle. When you reflect on your emotional reactions, you sometimes get caught up in cycles of negative feelings, which can make you feel even worse. If so, the answer may lie in a skill called "self-distancing", the ability to take a step back and view yourself more objectively. According to a research, when people adopt self-distancing while discussing a difficult event, they make better sense of their reactions, experience less emotional suffering, and display fewer signs of stress.

    But what might self-distancing look like in action? Consider a typical "he said/she said" student conflict where they are each focusing on their own feelings. One is thinking, "I can't believe he did that to me." And another insists, "She really hurt my feelings." However, if you ask them to take the self-distancing, they might step outside of themselves and ask broader questions: "Why was he so hurt in this situation?" or "How did her anger affect him?"

    Although this approach may sound too simple to be effective, studies indicate that a change in point of view can have a powerful effect on the way people think, feel, and behave. Here are several different techniques you can try.

    First, consider how a thoughtful friend might respond after quietly observing their situation. Besides, avoid using the pronoun "I". Focus on using third-person pronouns, he, she, they, and they were able to see the stressful event as challenging rather than threatening. Finally, ask yourself, "How would I feel about this one week from now or ten years from now?" This form of mental time travel may be effective because our attention is directed away from our immediate, concrete circumstances.