People are being lured(引诱) onto Facebook with the promise of a fun, free service without realizing they're paying for it by giving up large amounts of personal information. Facebook then attempts to make money by selling their data to advertisers that want to send targeted messages.

    Most Facebook users don't realize this is happening. Even if they know what the company is up to, they still have no idea what they're paying for Facebook because people don't really know what their personal data is worth.

    The biggest problem, however, is that the company keeps changing the rules. Early on, you keep everything private. That was the great thing about Facebook—you could create your own little private network. Last year, the company changed its privacy rules so that many things—your city, your photo, your friends' names—were set, by default(默认) to be shared with everyone on the Internet.

    According to Facebook's vice-president Elliot Schrage, the company is simply making changes to improve its service, and if people don't share information, they have a “less satisfying experience”.

    Some critics think this is more about Facebook looking to make more money. Its original business model, which involved selling ads and putting them at the side of the page, totally failed. Who wants to look at ads when they're online connecting with their friends?

    The privacy issue has already landed Facebook in hot water in Washington. In April, Senator(议员) Charles Schumer called on Facebook to change its privacy policy. He also urged the Federal Trade Commission to set principles for social-networking sites. “I think the senator rightly communicated that we had not been clear about what the new products were and how people could choose to use them or not to use them，” Schrage admits.

    I suspect that whatever Facebook has done so far to invade our privacy is only the beginning, which is why I'm considering deactivating (撤销) my account. Facebook is a handy site, but I'm upset by the idea that my information is in the hands of people I don't know. That's too high a price to pay.

    YOUTR KIDS ARE AMAZING -especially compared with everybody else s (who seem to cry all the time). How do you show your love for your kids this holiday season? With toys that are smooth and colorful, interactive and exciting. And with ones that have educational value - because you are the boss.

FLAX ART HOSPITAL PUZZLE AND PLAY SET

    Here is a toy that doesn't need power, and the kids have to put it together themselves. This 50*piece-puzzle set is made of soft-edged hardwood and makes a complete hospital, with an X-ray room. It also includes eight patients, a car and a driver. $135; flaxart.com.

    TINY LOVE ACTIVITY BALL

    Sure, it's cool, but this colorful baby toy also develops problem solving and motor skills. It has a head and legs, a magnetic (磁铁) hand and a tail. Suitable for little ones from 6-36 months. $19.95; tiny-love.com.

    ROBOSAPIEN

    This small, remote-control robot is really powerful. It performs 67 preprogrammed functions, including throwing, kicking, picking up and dancing. You can even program your own function - which, sadly, does not include doing windows. $ 99; robosapienonline.com.

    MINI PEDAL CAR

    Want a mini Cooper but can't fit the family inside? Get one for the kids. They can jump into this mini car, which comes in hot orange with a single adjustable seat, and ride away. But it could spoil them for that used car they'll be driving when they turn 16. For ages 3 to 5. $ 189; mlnicar.com (click on “gear up” then “mini motoring gear”）

    A newly-published study has shown that loneliness can spread from one person to another, like a disease.

    Researchers used information from the Framingham Study, which began in 1948. The Framingham Study gathers information about physical and mental( 心 理 的 ) health, personal behavior and diet. At first, the study involved about 5,000 people in the American state of Massachusetts. Now, more than 12,000 persons are taking part.

    Information from the Framingham Study showed earlier that happiness can spread from person to person. So can behaviors like littering and the ability to stop smoking.

    University of Chicago psychologist (心理学家) John Cacioppo led the recent study. He and other researchers tried to show how often people felt lonely. They found that the feeling of loneliness spread through social groups.

    Having a social connection with a lonely person increased the chances that another person would feel lonely. In fact, a friend of a lonely person was 52% more likely to develop feelings of loneliness. A friend of that person was 25% more likely. The researchers say this shows that a person could indirectly be affected by someone's loneliness.

    The effect was strongest among friends. Neighbors were the second most affected group. The effect was weaker on husbands and wives, and brothers and sisters. The researchers also found that loneliness spread more easily among women than men.

    The New York Times newspaper reports that, on average, people experience feelings of loneliness about 48 days a year. It also found that every additional friend can decrease loneliness by about five percent, or two and a half fewer lonely days.

    Loneliness has been something to do with health problems like sadness and sleeping difficulties. The researchers believe that knowing the causes of loneliness could help in reducing it.

    The study suggests that people can take steps to stop the spread of loneliness. They can do this by helping individuals they know who may be experiencing loneliness. The result can be helpful to the whole social group.

    Mid-afternoon on a particularly busy Tuesday, I took leave of my desk at work and walked into a local Starbucks, only to find a space where neither my clients (客户) nor my children would ask me to do something.

    Inside, I ran into Kate, a co-worker of mine. The topic of parenthood came up. I complained about how packed my schedule was. From the minute I woke up to the minute I fell asleep, I was constantly in demand and always had someone knocking at the door. But a bit of sadness seemed to come over Kate's face.

    "Well, my daughter's in San Francisco and she doesn't seem to need me at all these days." Kate said. It was in that moment that I realized although I might often feel in high demand, there will come a day when I'll actually miss that same stress I now complain about.

    And as our conversation continued, it turned to our children's younger years, with Kate smiling proudly, thinking of the little boy and girl she raised who are now a man and a woman. But I noticed her smile was marked with regret. She explained that she often wondered about what she could have done differently when her children were in their earlier years.

    This got me thinking Is regret an unfortunate footnote (注脚) to parenthood? With that in mind, I asked six older parents one question: What is your biggest regret from your early days as a parent?

    It turned out that all of them thought they could have done it better. But, each of them also has a strong, healthy relationship with their kids. Whatever regrets their parents might have had about their upbringing, one thing is clear—it didn't affect them in a meaningful way.

    The bottom line is, we all feel like we could be doing this parenting thing better, And quite clearly, years later, we're still going to look back and wish we tried things differently. But the past can't be changed, and neither should it.

    It was a comfortable sunny Sunday. I was going to meet an old university friend I hadn't seen for years, and was really excited.

    My train was running a little late, but that was no big problem - I could text him to say I would be delayed. He would understand. But… where was my mobile phone? I had that familiar sinking feeling. Yes, I'd left it at home.

    No mobile phone. I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling anxious, on edge and worried when I don't have my phone with me. In fact, I know I'm not alone: two-thirds of us experience 'nomophobia' (无手机恐惧症), the fear of being out of mobile phone contact.

    That's according to a study from 2012 which surveyed 1,000 people in the UK about their relationship with mobile phones.

    It says we check our mobile phones 34 times a day, and that 18-24 year-olds, especially girls, are the most likely to suffer fear of being without their mobiles: 77% of them say they are unable to be apart from their phones for more than a few minutes.

    Do you have nomophobia?

    • You never turn your phone off

    • You frequently(频繁地) check for texts, missed calls and emails

    • You always take your phone to the bathroom with you

    • You never let the battery run out

    It's funny to think that around 20 years ago the only people with mobile phones would be businessmen carrying their large, plastic 'bricks'. Of course, these days, mobile phones are everywhere. A UN study from this year said there would be more mobile phones than people across the world by the end of 2020.

    And when there are more phones than people in the world, maybe it's time to ask who really is in charge(主管)? Are you in control of your phone, or does your phone control you?

    So, what happened with my university friend? When I arrived a few minutes late he just laughed and said: "You haven't changed at all – still always late!" And we had a great afternoon catching up, full of jokes and stories, with no desire(欲望) to check my phone.

    Not having it with me felt strangely free. Maybe I'll leave it at home on purpose next time.

Students who are better able to understand and manage their emotions effectively, a skill known as emotional intelligence (EI), do better at school than their less-skilled classmates, according to research published by the American Psychological Association.

"It's not enough to be smart and hardworking. Students must also be able to understand and manage their emotions to succeed at school," said Carolyn MacCann, lead author of the study. MacCann and her colleagues analyzed data from more than 160 studies, representing more than 42,000 students from 27 countries, published between 1998 and 2019. The students ranged in age from primary school to college. The researchers found that students with higher EI tended to get higher grades and better achievement test scores than those with lower EI scores. This finding held true even when controlling for intelligence and personality factors. What was most surprising to the researchers was the association held despite different ages.

As for why EI can affect academic performance, MacCann believes a number of factors may come into play. "Students with higher EI may be better able to manage negative emotions, such as anxiety, boredom and disappointment, which can negatively affect academic performance," she said. "Also, these students may be better able to manage the social world around them, forming better relationships with teachers, classmates and family, all of which are important to academic success." Finally, the skills required for EI, such as understanding human motivation and emotion, may overlap with （与……重叠） the skills required to master certain subjects, such as history and language, giving students an advantage in those subject areas, according to Mac Cann.

However, Mac Cann cautions against widespread testing of students to identify and target those with low EI as it may stigmatize （给……打上烙印） those students. Instead, she recommends interventions that involve the whole school, including additional teacher training and a focus on teacher well-being and emotional skills. "Programs that integrate emotional skill development into the existing curriculum would be beneficial, as research suggests that training works better when run by teachers rather than external professionals," she said. "Increasing skills for everyone not just those with low EI would benefit everyone."