“You can't stop the waves from coming but you can learn to surf.”

    This is the title on a poster of the spiritual teacher, Swami Satchitdananda who is pictured wearing a loincloth（腰布）while staying down on a surfboard riding the ocean waves. It's a far-reaching reminder that no matter how hard we try, sometimes we will make mistakes. Life brings us trouble at times, and we carelessly make trouble for ourselves. It can't be helped. 'Learning to surf' is a metaphor（暗喻）for becoming good at handling life's difficulties and successfully repairing errors or mistakes that we may have made.

    Since we are all mistake-prone（易于犯错的）, to varying degrees, it's necessary for us to master the art of making effective repairs and corrections. We should, of course, by all means make our best effort to do it “right” the first time, but being human, our best efforts won't always prevent us from having moments or days when we wish that we could do that one over again. Since we can't always do “do-overs,” the next best thing is to correct our mistakes, and the best way to start this process is with an apology.

    Making an effective apology is both an art and a science. It requires the fulfillment（完成）of a number of conditions that must be met in order for both parties to feel satisfied with the outcome. The first thing to keep in mind is exactly that both parties must feel complete and satisfied with the outcome in order for things to get back on track after the breakdown.

    There are a number of components that increase the possibility that an apology will be effective. These conditions and guidelines apply to all relationships. They include patience, responsibility, sincerity, etc. With them, the chance of a successful apology will be high.

    When we have confidence that harm caused to the relationship through unskillful choices can be fully healed, we are motivated to use the methods that we know work to keep our relationship in the best possible condition. The belief that the trust, harmony, and love can be fully repaired, and perhaps even become more than it was prior to(在前面的) the breakdown, encourages us to hold a standard of excellence. And then we work hard to use every incident that occurs in the partnership to become stronger at the broken places. There is surely some work involved in the process at becoming good at repairs, but the rewards of a close, delightful, trusting relationship are well worth the effort!

    Resorts of every kind have sprung up to cater to the Englishman need to spend a part of the year, however briefly, by the seaside. No town in Britain is more than eighty miles from the sea and there are seaside resorts all around the coast. On a summer Sunday most of the roads that lead to the sea axe congested with cars full of people eager to get a breath of sea air. In the evening when everyone is full of food, ice-cream and lollypops, there is the long slow drive home on roads crowded with returning cars.

    Brighton

    Brighton is one of the best-known south coast resorts and is very popular for day trip excursions. It is only fifty miles from London and can be reached by fast train in an hour. At the weekend the pebbled beaches are thronged with people sunbathing or picking their way to the water's edge for a dip.

    Bournemouth

    Located a hundred miles from London, the beaches are wide and sandy. White Houses line the cliff tops and narrow valleys, densely wooded with pine trees, reach down to the shore. The area near to the town of Torquay on the Devon coast is sometimes called Britains Riviera and the climate is so mild that palm trees grow along the sea front.

    Blackpool

    On the north-west coast, a popular resort for the people in the industrial north, Blackpool is a gay, noisy town, famous for its amusement facilities and the magical lights. At night people travel from miles around to see the extravaganza of lights decorating the sea front.

    Southend

    On the east coast at the mouth of the Thames, Southend is, like Brighton, one of the favorite resorts of Londoners. The pier here is the longest in Britain and offers a great variety of differing entertainments.

    These days, it seems that almost all of us are too serious. My older daughter often says to me, "Daddy, you've got that serious look again." Even those of us who are committed to non-seriousness are probably too serious. People are frustrated and anxious about almost everything—being five minutes late, witnessing someone look at us wrong or say the wrong thing, paying bills, waiting in line, overcooking a meal, making an honest mistake -- you name it, and we all lose perspective（理性判断）over it.

    The root of being anxious is our unwillingness to accept life as being different, in any way, from our expectation. Very simply, we want things to be a certain way but they're not a certain way. Life is simply as it is. Perhaps Benjamin Franklin said it best: "Our limited perspective, our hopes and fears become our measure of life, and when circumstances don't fit our ideas, they become our difficulties." We spend our lives wanting things, people, and events to be just as we want them to be—and when they're not, we fight and we suffer.

    The first step in recovering from over-seriousness is to admit that you have a problem. You have to want to change, to become more easygoing. You have to see that your own anxiety is largely of your own creation—it's made up of the way you have set up your life and the way you react to it.

    The next step is to understand the link between your expectations and your frustration level. Whenever you expect something to be a certain way and it isn't, you're upset and you suffer. On the other hand, when you let go of your expectations, when you accept life as it is, you're free.

    A good exercise is to try to approach a single day without expectation. Don't expect people to be friendly. When they're not, you won't be surprised or bothered; if they are, you'll be delighted. Don't expect your day to be problem-free. Instead, as problems come up, say to yourself, "Ah, another barrier to overcome." As you approach your day in this manner you'll notice how elegant life can be. Rather than fighting against life, you'll be dancing with it. Pretty soon, with practice, you'll lighten up your entire life. And when you lighten up, life is a lot more fun.

    These days I am on my very best behavior whenever I leave the house. If I am wearing pantyhose(连裤袜), I double-check to ensure there is no hole on it. I drive thoughtfully as if I'm being tested for a license. I won't even allow myself to frown when another driver is blocking my path.

    My kids have noticed my fear in public. "Why are you looking all around, Mum?" they asked.

    "You can't be too careful," I said. "Every single person around us is hiding one of cell phone cameras. They are glad to catch somebody doing something stupid or embarrassing. Then they'll put it on YouTube and a million people will see. I'm not taking any chances."

    "But I don't think anyone is interested in filming you putting on your lipstick for a YouTube video." answered one kid.

    "Oh, really? Don't count me out so quickly." I said.

    Actually, in some cases, I am all for public shaming. For example, I admire the cleverness of the man who put up a website where he posts photos of cars and license numbers of people who occupy two parking spots. And I take secret pleasure in photos of politicians with their fingers in their noses. Throwing light on bad behavior can awake the sleepy conscience(良知).

    But what about the poor guy who has already had a bad day at work and then loses his temper at a rude store clerk? What about the woman whose only crime is a terrible judgment error at the hairdresser? Do they deserve to have their images uploaded onto the Internet for all the world to see?

    None of this is new, of course. Allen Funt pioneered the art of catching people during unguarded moments back in the 1940s with "Candid Camera". But there's a difference. On "Candid Camera", people are set up in staged situations, such as riding in an elevator that goes sideways. And they must give permission before they enjoy their fifteen minutes of fame. Now we are a nation of Allen Funts. This can't be a good thing.

About two weeks ago I saw a very sad, blue eyed, homeless man sitting outside my local coffee house. I said, "Hi! How are you doing today?"

He seemed shocked that I was talking to him. "Not very well, " he replied. He began to tell me how he had been hit by a car while riding his bike. He had been in the hospital for a month and s rest home for another month. During that time the person that paid for his SSI checks （社保费） died of a hear attack and his wallet was stolen with all his IDs. He had several checks waiting for him but had no ID and therefore no access to his money. 

I decided that if this was all true I'd like to help him get a copy of his birth certificate and social security card. I asked him to meet me at the Department of Vital Statistics at 11: 00 p. m. The next morning I didn't see him so I started filling out the paperwork. I explained to the receptionist, "I'm trying to help a homeless friend get his ID hack. " "Bob?" she inquired. "Yes, Bob, " I responded, surprised that she knew his name. "He was here at 9: 30 and he just left, she said, "But he told us you were coming. " I paid the fee and walked out with Bob's Birth Certificate. 

As I was driving home I saw Bob riding back on the old bike someone had given him. I pulled over and jumped out of my car shouting, "Bob! Bob! I got it!" He saw me and rode over. "I got it, Bob! Look, here it is!" He got tears in his eyes and told me I was his guardian angel. 

A few days later I needed him to meet me at the Social Security Office. It took me a half hour to get there by car and at least two hours by bike. But there he was sitting on the sidewalk waiting for me! We were in the Social Security Office for two hours. We got everything straightened out and by next week he will have received his back pay, which is a substantial sum. 

Yes, one person can make a difference in this world. And the interesting thing is that I am getting as much, if not more, from this experience than Bob. I am deeply touched by Bob's sensitivity, his gratitude, his stories, his heart. 

Home is where the heart is, even for the homeless!

In life, there are many opposite things, which cannot be united by many people. But there is always a chance to unite two different things in one work. The following passage will tell you more about the possibility of combining painting and poetry.

Perhaps, it is not a new idea that a great work can be created by combining paintings and poems. In this case, we can unite both things in two ways. The first way is to make the poem as the main inspiration for the painting. It is also possible to write a poem after looking at a painting.

What about the next idea to combine painting and poetry? Well, we can combine both of them on a canvas(画布). You can paint an oil painting on it and then write down the poem on that canvas. I do not know whether this kind of idea has been used for years. But this is quite a great new idea for me. It will make more people love painting and poetry at the same time. You will not need to read the poem on plain white paper any more.

A poem is a good way to represent a story or a thought. It is usually not too long and not easy to understand literally(字面上地). It is a series of words arranged in stanzas(诗节) and lines with rhymes, which are quite changeable. Therefore, combining it with another type of art (such as painting) will be very good. You can get the message of the poem through the colours on the canvas. All you need to do is use your creativity to make a painting with the right colours and with great words on it.