There's a curious thing about people.All of us are driven in some way or another to achieve—we want to run faster,be more creative,win more awards,and earn more money.But here's the thing: if you want to offer warm words of wisdom,constructive criticism or "360-degree feedback",then think again.Most of us would rather not hear it.

    Our easily-broken egos（自尊心）are partly to blame.We all want to meet our own expectations of ourselves,and so being critised can present a huge threat to our egos.Yet as decades of psychological theory and research have indicated,people have endless tricky strategies of remaining positive in the face of criticism.For this reason,rather than us welcoming feedback with open arms,our first response is often an automatic defense.These reactions serve to make us feel better about ourselves.

    Psychological research exposes this unhealthy appetite for ignorance.In one study,students watched a false educational film about a serious disease called "TAA Deficiency".In fact,TAA Deficiency is completely fictional,but the students were not told this information;instead,they were asked whether they wished to provide a cheek test for assessing（评估）their risk of developing the disease.Half of the students were told that if they ever developed TAA Deficiency,then the treatment would involve them taking a two-week course of pills.Of this group,52% agreed to provide the cheek test.The other half of students learned the treatment would involve taking the pills for the rest of their lives.Of this group,only 21% agreed to the test.

    These findings show a common pattern seen in other studies within and beyond the context of healthcare.That is,people are especially resistant to hearing feedback when they believe it could force them to do something difficult or unpleasant.

Empathy

    Last year, researchers from the University of Michigan reported that empathy, the ability to understand other people, among college students had dropped a lot over the past 10 years. That could be because so many people have replaced face time with screen time, the researchers said. Today, people spend more time alone and seldom join groups and clubs.

    Jennifer Freed, a director of a teen program, has another explanation. on the TV, and you're showered with news and reality shows full of people fighting, competing, and generally treating one another with no respect(尊重).  Humans learn by example—and most of the examples on it are anything but empathetic.

    There are good reasons not to follow those bad examples. Humans are socially connected with nature. Having relationships with other people is an important part of being human—and having empathy is important to those relationships. Researchers have also found that empathetic teenagers always have high self-respect. Besides, empathy can be helpful for loneliness, sadness, anxiety, and fear.

    Empathy is also necessary for a good leader. In fact, Freed says, many top companies report that empathy is one the most important things they look for in new managers. Social skills—including empathy—are a kind of “emotional(情感的) intelligence" that will help you succeed in many areas of life. “Tests results are important. But if you don't have emotional intelligence, you won't be as successful in work or in your love life,” she says.

    What's the best way to up your EQ(情商)? For starters, let down your guard and really listen to others. “One doesn't develop empathy by having a lot of opinions and doing a lot of talking,” Freed says. To really develop empathy, you'd better volunteer at a nursing home or a hospital, join a club or a team that has a diverse membership, have a “sharing circle” with your family, or spend time caring for pets at an animal shelter.

    Scientists have been studying how people use money for long. Now they're finding some theories may apply to one group of monkeys.

    Researchers recently taught six monkeys how to use money. They gave the monkeys small metal disks(圆片) that could be used like cash and showed them some yummy apple pieces. The monkeys soon figured out that if they gave one of the disks to a scientist, they'd receive a piece of apple in return.

    If you think that is all the monkeys can figure out, you are wrong. Two researchers, Jake and Allison, acted as apple sellers in the experiments. The monkeys were tested one at a time and had 12 disks to spend in each experiment. Jake always showed the monkeys one apple piece, while Allison always showed two pieces. But that's not necessarily what they gave the monkeys. The number of apple pieces given for a disk was determined at random.

    Experiment One: Allison showed two pieces of apples but gave both pieces only half the time. The other half, she took one piece away and gave the monkey just the remaining piece. Jake, on the other hand, always gave exactly what he showed: one piece for each disk. The monkeys chose to trade more with Allison.

    Experiment Two: Allison continued to sometimes gave two pieces and sometimes one piece. But now, half the time, Jake gave the one apple piece he was showing, and half the time he added a bonus. Guess what? The monkeys chose to trade more with Jake.

    In the first experiment, the monkeys correctly figured out that if they traded with Allison, they'd end up with more treats. In the second one, when a monkey received two pieces from Jake, it seemed like again. When Allison gave the monkey only one piece instead of the two she showed, it seemed like a loss. The monkeys preferred trading with Jake because they'd rather take a chance of seeming to win than seeming to lose.

    We also sometimes make silly business decisions just to avoid the feeling that we're getting less, even when were not. Would you have made the same choices?

Summer Camps

    When a child says their first word, it's an event to remember. But when a girl with nonverbal autism (自闭症) does it, it's a reason to ugly cry in a parking lot. And that's exactly what happened to Briana Blankenship from Athens, Alabama. Doctors said her daughter, Taylor, might never speak. But just days ago, the 5-year-old girl challenged it and proved them wrong.

    “I had basically accepted that I would never hear her voice,” Briana said.

“We communicate with limited sign language and gestures,” Briana said, “We also have an iPad that is locked so that the only program she can access is a communication program called LAMP. LAMP is what she uses to complete work in school and because of this, she is excellent at spelling especially for a 5-year-old.” Taylor is also in the “inclusion” Kindergarten class where she receives occupational therapy (治疗) to help with her fine motor skills. “Her dad and I also pay for her to go to gymnastics every week and it has helped her stop her tiptoe walking”.

    However, when Briana was taking her daughter to a gymnastics class, the impossible happened. “We were on our way there- running late- so I had to go through the closest drive-thru to grab her something that she would actually eat We rarely eat fast food so she recognized that she was about to get her favorite food, French fries, and started getting excited and giggling (咯咯笑) in the back seat. That's when I heard her say it. I whipped my head around and asked “Did you just say Momma?” and she looked at me and said it again.

    I broke down into tears. “I parked my car after getting our food and immediately called my husband and then my mother. I didn't have time to call anyone else before class started so I quickly posted the video to my Facebook page.” Instantly, people flooded Briana's inbox. “We have had so many messages from people that we are giving them light for their loved ones, or that we are making them feel less alone in the daily battles of parenting a nonverbal child.

    "What kind of rubbish are you?" This question might normally cause anger, but in Shanghai it has become a special "greeting" among people over the past week. On July 1st, the city introduced strict trash-sorting regulations (条例)that are required to follow and expected to be used as a model for our country. Residents must divide their waste into four separate categories and toss (投放)it into specific public dustbins. They must do so at specified times, when monitors are present to ensure correct trash-tossing and to ask the nature of one's rubbish. Individuals who fail to follow the regulations face the possibility of fines and worse. They could be punished with fines of up to 200 yuan ( $ 29). For those who repeat to go against them, the government can add black marks to their credit records, making it harder for them to get bank loans or even buy train tickets.

    Shanghai government is responding to an obvious environmental problem. It generates 9 million tons of garbage a year, more than London's annual output, which is rising quickly. But like other cities in China, it lacks a recycling system. Instead, it has relied on trash pickers to sift (筛选)through the waste, picking out whatever can be reused. This has limits. As people get wealthier, fewer of them want to do such dirty work. The waste, meanwhile, just keeps piling up.

    Many residents appear to support the idea of recycling in general but are annoyed by the details. Rubbish must be divided according to whether it is food, recyclable, dry or harmful, the distinctions among which can be confusing, though there are apps to help work it out. Some have complained about the rules concerning food waste. They must put it straight in the required public bins, forcing them to tear open plastic bags and toss it by hand. What they complain most is the short periods for dropping trash, typically a couple of hours, morning and evening. Along with the monitors at the bins, this means that people go at around the same time and can keep an eye on what is being thrown out no one wants to look bad.