For many parents, raising a teenager is like fighting a long war, but years go by without any clear winner. Like a border conflict between neighboring countries, the parent-teen war is about boundaries: Where is the line between what I control and what you do?

    Both sides want peace, but neither feels it has any power to stop the conflict. In part, this is because neither is willing to admit any responsibility for starting it. From the parents' point of view, the only cause of their fight is their adolescents' complete unreasonableness. And of course, the teens see it in exactly the same way, except oppositely. Both feel trapped.

In this article, I'll describe three no-win situations that commonly arise between teens and parents and then suggest some ways out of the trap. The first no-win situation is quarrels over unimportant things. Examples include the color of the teen's hair, the cleanliness of the bedroom, the preferred style of clothing, the child's failure to eat a good breakfast before school, or his tendency to sleep until noon on the weekends. Second, blaming. The goal of a blaming battle is to make the other admit that his bad attitude is the reason why everything goes wrong. Third, needing to be right. It doesn't matter what the topic is —politics, the laws of physics, or the proper way to break an egg—the point of these arguments is to prove that you are right and the other person is wrong, for both wish to be considered an authority—someone who actually knows something—and therefore to command respect. Unfortunately, as long as parents and teens continue to assume that they know more than the other, they'll continue to fight these battles forever and never make any real progress.

    Your kids might be ready for a break from school but the idea of being at home for three weeks loses its magic. Lucky for us Portlanders, the city has no shortage of awesome winter camps for kids.

    Trackers Earth

    For winter break, Trackers is offering several one-day outdoor and craft camps. The hard part will be choosing between so many fun options: “Ninjas Save Christmas?” Or “Here We Go A Waffling - Caroling and Waffles?”

    Details: $70. Dec. 23, 27, 30, 31; Jan. 2, 3. （Ages 4-14）

    Address: 5040 SE Milwaukie Ave.

    Tel: 503-345-3312

    Audubon Society

    Your kids don't have to be specifically bird-crazy to appreciate the Audubon Society's one-day winter camps. The classes all have a broad nature focus, including everything from ducks for the younger set to introducing older kids to bats, wolves and wildlife rescue work.

    Details: $65, Dec, 2S, 24, 26-31; Jan, J-3 (Ages 6-14)

    Address: 5151 NW Cornell Rd.

    Tel: 971-222-6120

    Oregon Museum of Science and Industry (OMSI)

When your kids start to get bored with his or her own Legos (乐高玩具)－yes, it occasionally does happen－check out OMSI's one-day Lego and Museum Experience, a full day of hands-on Lego activities in one of the city's most fun, family-friendly museums.

    Details: $49. Classes offered throughout December and January, (Ages 7-10)

    Address: 1945 SE Water Ave.

    Tel: 800-955-6674

    The Children's Gym

    Your kids definitely won't complain of being bored at Children's Gym's Winter Sports Camps. From 9:0 -5:30, they'll develop their gymnastics skills on the center's excellent equipment, then squeeze in a little rock climbing and field games.

    Details: $60/day; Dec. 23, 26, and 2 7; Jan. 2 and 3. (Ages 3-14)

    Address: 1625 NE Sandy Blvd.

    Tel: 503-249-5867

    People seem to have a natural need for friends and with good reason, friends increase your enjoyment of life and relieve feelings of loneliness. They even can help reduce stress and improve your health. Having good friends is especially helpful when you are going through any kind of hard time such as when you are experiencing anxiety, panic(恐慌) attacks, or depression.

    When you are with good friends, you feel good about yourself, and you are glad to be with them. A friends is someone who—

●you like, respect, and trust, and who likes, expects and trusts you, doesn't always understand you, but accepts and likes you as you are, even as you grow and change, allows you the space to change, grow, make decisions, and even make mistakes.

●listens to you and shares with you both the good times and the bad times.

●respects your need for secrets, so you can tell them anything.

●lets you freely express your feelings and emotions without judging, laughing at or criticizing you.

●accepts the limitations you have put on yourself and helps you to remove them.

    A person once said. "Friendship is a continuing source of bonding(连接),releasing, and creating in yourself and with the other person, there is an emotional bond between the two people."

    A good friend or supporter may or may not be the same age or the same sex as you, and may not have the same educational, cultural, or religious background, or share interests that are similar to yours. Friendships also have different depths(深度). Some are closer to the heart and some more superficial, but they're all useful and good.

    Pastime is a bi-monthly magazine for curious young minds. Many of the topics we write about won't be covered in the classroom. All the articles are written in a lively style, and each one is paired with drawings by some of the country's most talented artists.

    History focuses on archaeological (考古的) sites around the world where archaeologists work to unearth important finds.

    World includes stories about daily life, folk tales, and history and traditions of the people and places.

    Sport includes nutrition tips, information about up-and-coming young athletes, and sports events.

    Art stimulates a child's cultural life, from film to theatre through to writing and music.

    On top of all that, Pastime is packed with items to stimulate a youngster's imagination, including pages of puzzles and a step-by-step guide to creating their own impressive-looking drawings.

    In every issue, we review the latest books top authors write for youngsters. There are also short works of fiction written especially for Pastime by some of our best writers.

    We know that children at this age are dealing with many emotions and sometimes difficult feelings, so we have a personal advice page to reply to questions dealing with personal and moral problems.

    Unlike many of today's throwaway comics, Pastime is written and designed to be kept and treasured. We know children love going online — but we also know how much they enjoy holding a printed magazine in their hands, and the excitement they get when each new issue drops through the letterbox personally addressed to them.

    Subscription

    Pastime is published six times a year. An annual subscription costs just £20 and makes a great gift for any child aged eight to twelve.

    To order by phone: Dial 1-800-821-0156 and use Offer Code WEBSAVE86 for print-only subscriptions.

    You can cancel at any time for magazines that haven't shipped yet.

    My Year Abroad

    This month in Travelers Corner there are three teenagers' experiences in year-abroad programmes.

    Mariko Okada - Tokyo

    My year abroad in the United States was a fantastic experience. I'm not a shy person, and I was very comfortable speaking to everyone. So I got lots of speaking practice. I also learned lots of interesting things about American culture. When I got home, my friends all said that I had improved so much! I hope to go back again in the future.

    Carla Fonseca - Rio de Janeiro

    I spent last year studying English in London. I'm from a small town, and London is a very big city. Sometimes I felt it was too big. There were so many people to talk to, but I always felt bad about my English. I missed my family, and I really missed my two cats. My roommate was always using our telephone, so I hardly had the chance for a nice long talk with my parents. I think it was a good experience for me, but I'm glad to be home!

    Alvin Chen - Hong Kong

    Studying in New Zealand was an interesting experience for me, but it was also lots of hard work! I had English classes six hours a day, five days a week—with lots of homework. I also kept a diary of my experience. I like to write, and I wrote two or three pages in my diary every day. On Saturdays, my home stay family took me to lots of interesting places and showed me so many wonderful things about the culture. I'm really glad I went!

    Few facts about modern life seem more undeniable than how busy everyone seems to be. Across the industrialized world, large numbers of survey respondents tell researchers they're overburdened with work, at the expense of time with family and friends.

    But the total time people are working, whether paid or otherwise, has not increased in Europe or North America in recent decades. What's more, the date also show that the people who say they're the busiest generally aren't.

    Part of the answer is simple economics. As economies grow, and the incomes of the better-off have risen over time, time has literally become more valuable: Any given hour is worth more, so we experience more pressure to squeeze in more work.

But it's also a result of the kind of work in which many of us are engaged. In the past, farming work was subject to weather limits, white at present people live in an "unlimited world," and there are always more incoming emails, more meetings, more things to read, and digital mobile technology means you have a few more to-do list items.

    With time pressure weighing us down, it's hardly surprising that we live with one eye on the clock. But psychological research demonstrates that this time-awareness actually leads to worse performance. So the ironic consequence of the "busy feeling" is that we could handle to-do list less well than if we weren't so rushed.

    Arguable worst of all, the feeling of rush spreads to affect our leisure time, so that even when life finally does permit an hour or two for recovery, we end up feeling that leisure time should be spent "productively," too.

    If there's a solution to the busyness epidemic(流行病), other than the universal 21-hour workweek, it may lie in clearly realizing just how reasonable our attitudes have become. Historically, the ultimate symbol of wealth, achievement and social superiority was the freedom not to work. Now, it's busyness that has become the indicator of high status. "The best-off in our society are often very busy, and have to be," says Gershunny. "You ask me, am I busy, and I tell you: "Yes, of course I'm busy because I'm an important person!"

    Too often, we measure our worth not by the results we achieve, but by how much of our time we spend. We live crazy lives, at least in part, because it makes us feel good about ourselves.