A couple of weeks ago, a few friends and I had an opportunity to attend a dear friend's wedding in New York. After the wedding and reception, rather accidentally four of us gathered in a hotel room and began to explore the deeper meaning of life and death. What does it mean to live truly? If we are all getting closer to death, is all the material accumulation worth it? It is not exactly the type of conversations one has at a wedding.

    While the answers varied from person to person, I was left with more questions than answers and a feeling of gratefulness to be surrounded by friends who were asking the “right” questions. As the clock kept ticking past 3 a.m., one of the roommates suggested we watch a short film titled “Last Days of Zach Sobiech”. The film is about a teenager's journey through the last days of his incurable illness. The film brought up a lot of mixed emotions but one quote that stood out for me was Zach's simple explanation of happiness, “What makes one happy is seeing someone else smile because you put it there.” By 4 a.m. , there was this energy in the room that had to be shared! With a few packages of post-it notes, we hit the halls of the hotel. We decided to leave short inspirational words on guests' doors, so when they opened their doors few hours later a smile would turn up.

    We ended up sticking post-it notes on all the doors until we ran out of them. The note on the door of the newly-weds properly said, “Where there is love, there is life.”

    In a foreign country, a man visited a local restaurant. He didn't speak their language. He ordered something indecipherable off the menu. When the waiter brought him a plate of delicious looking fried noodles, he smiled and made an OK sign at the waiter with his thumb and forefinger linked in a circle. Looking angry, the waiter then picked up the dish and thrown it to his lap. What he did wrong, he wondered. Well, nothing is quite as it seems when it comes to using hand gesture in another country.

    Gestures have been used to replace words in many countries, and they are often specific to a given culture. Gesture may mean something complimentary in one culture, but is highly offensive in another.

    The gesture “thumb-up” is commonly misinterpreted. In English, it is popularly known as 'thumbs up', despite the fact that the action is commonly performed with only one hand. English-speaking Caucasians use it to signal 'OK', which is the same meaning as O.K. ring gesture. The two can in fact be used almost interchangeably.

    Avoid using this gesture in Southern Sardina or Northern Greece unless you want to invite a fight. While American, British and Australian would use the thumb up to signal hitch-hiking to the drivers, this message will not encourage a Greek driver or motorist to stop to give them a ride.

    There are no right or wrong signals, only cultural differences. Lack of cultural understanding will lead to disharmony among people from different cultures. When we know what to look for, such encounters with other cultures are actually very interesting, fascinating and fun. It is certainty a great topic to discuss over a cup of coffee and cakes.

    Last summer I sat at a long picnic table near a breathtaking mountain. While the parents were eating dinner, the kids ran up a trail in search of a secret fort. Twenty minutes later one excited little boy, James, interrupted the adult conversation.

    “Mom, Mom, you can't believe what we found!”

    Lovingly, his mother smiled and whispered, “I can't wait to hear, James, but grown-ups are talking, and there will be a pause in the conversation. Please wait for the pause.”

    On my other side, another boy came running up to his mother with equal enthusiasm.

    “Mom, Mom, we had so much fun—”

    “I am talking! Don't interrupt,” she said.

    “But, Mom—”

    “Be quiet! Can't you see that I am talking?”

    “But Mom we found the—”

    “Shut up, Steve!” she yelled.

    My heart sank. I knew what was coming. James, on my right, patiently waited for the pause, enthusiasm still alive and well. Steve, on my left, walked away from the table, looking shamed, carrying with him stories of secret forts never to be shared.

    What markedly different messages to the child! “Wait for the pause” versus “Shut up” gets incorporated (包含)so differently into a child's developing sense of self.

    Harsh(刺耳的) words have bad effects. That's why I want you to promise to delete the phrases “Shame on you” or “You should be ashamed” from your vocabulary. I have seen countless patients whose parents' thoughtless words echoed in their heads and chipped(消除) away at their self-worth, even decades later.

    So we have to discipline ourselves to make our instructions constructive. One great tool is to look for positive behavior to reinforce. Don't ignore the things that your kids are doing right. Thank your children. Tell them that you noticed how they waited patiently or cleared their plate without being asked. Chances are that they will do it again. Let them feel noticed, appreciated, and valued. There's no better way to shape behavior.

Life is difficult.

    What do you think about life? Maybe most people say that life is difficult. But life is no longer difficult once we truly understand and accept it. Most people do not fully see this truth. Instead, they complain about their problems and difficulties as if life should be easy. It seems to them that their difficulties represent a special kind of suffering especially forced upon them or their families, their class, or even their nation.

    What makes life difficult is that the process of facing and solving problems is a painful one. Problems, depending on their nature, cause us sadness or loneliness or regret or anger or fear. These are uncomfortable feelings, often as painful as any kind of physical pain. And since life causes an endless series of problems, life is always difficult and is full of pain as well as joy.

    Yet, it is in this whole process of solving problems that life has its meaning.

    Problems are the serious test that tells success from failure. When we desire to encourage the growth of the human spirit, we encourage the human ability to solve problems, just as in school we set problems for our children to solve. It is through the pain of meeting and working out problems that we learn. As Benjamin Franklin said, “Those things that hurt instruct.” It is for this reason that wise people learn not to fear but to welcome the pain of problems.

If you want to convince the boss you deserve a pay rise or promotion, the solution could be simple — eat the same food as they do. Psychologists have discovered managers are much more likely to instantly trust us if we choose the same dishes as them.

    During experiments, discussions over wages and work conditions were much more successful if both sides chose to snack on the same treats. And shoppers were much more likely to buy a product advertised on TV by someone eating a similar food to them at the time.

The reason is thought to be the so–called similarity attraction theory — where people tend to like others who have similar tastes or habits to themselves. But this is believed to be one of the first studies highlighting the role of food in this relationship. Researchers at Chicago University in the US conducted a series of experiments to examine food's role in earning trust.

In a test, participants were told to watch TV — where someone pretending to be a member of the public praised a certain product. The volunteers were given Kit Kat bars to nibble, while the TV people ate either a Kit Kat or grapes as they talked.

    The results showed viewers were much more likely to express an interest in buying the product if the TV showed the other person eating a Kit Kat too. The researchers added, "Although similarity in food consumption is not a sign of whether two people will get along, we find consumers treat this as such. They feel more trusting of those who consume as they do. It means people can immediately begin to feel friendship and develop a bond, leading to smoother transactions from the start."

    Harley Street psychologist Dr. Lucy Atcheson said it was already known that wearing similar clothes could instantly create trust. But this was the first report that food had the same effect. She said, "This is really interesting. It makes sense as people feel they have common ground and can trust the other person. That means negotiations are more likely to be successful."

    Stephen Hawking is one of the most famous scientists in this century. He was born in 1942. He's world well-known on space and time. Stephen was searching some very big questions, such as "How did the universe begin? How will it end?"

    Stephen was a student at Oxford University. He studied math and science. Then, at the age of twenty, he became sick. He was so young, but the doctors said to his family, "He has only two more years to live." As a matter of fact, the doctors were wrong – he didn't die. He can't walk but he uses a wheelchair. He can't feed himself and get in or out of bed himself. But he refused to give in to the condition. He talks with the help of a computer. After Oxford, Stephen went to Cambridge University. Three years later, in 1965, he became a doctor of philosophy(哲学).

    Because of his serious health problems, it was difficult for him to draw or to write. So he started to think in pictures. With this new way of thinking, he became one of the most famous scientists in the world. In 1981, he met the Pope(教皇) in Rome. They talked about his ideas. Then in 1988, he wrote his first important book, A Brief History of Time. It sold more than 5.5 million copies in 33 different languages. He was once invited to China, he impressed us with his self-confidence, humorous and witty(风趣的) conversation.(谈话)