My husband hasn't stopped laughing about a funny thing that happened to me. It's funny now but it wasn't at the time.

    Last Friday, after doing all the family shopping in town, I wanted a rest before catching the train, so I bought a newspaper and some chocolate and went into the station coffee shop — that was a cheap self-service place with long tables to sit at. I put my heavy bag down on the floor, put the newspaper and chocolate on the table to keep a place, and went to get a cup of coffee.

    When I went back with the coffee, there was someone in the next seat. It was one of those wild-looking youngsters, with dark glasses and worn clothes, and hair colored bright red at the front. Not so unusual these days. What did surprise me was that he'd started to eat my chocolate!

    Naturally, I was annoyed. However, to avoid trouble — and really I was rather uneasy about him — I just looked down at the front page of the newspaper, tasted my coffee and took a bit of chocolate. The boy looked at me closely. Then he took a second piece of my chocolate. I could hardly believe it. Still I didn't dare to start an argument. When he took a third piece, I felt more angry than uneasy. I thought, "Well, I shall have the last piece." And I got it.

    The boy gave me a strange look, and then stood up. As he left he shouted out. "This woman's crazy!" Everyone stared. That was embarrassing enough, but it was worse when I finished my coffee and got ready to leave. My face went red — as red as his hair — when I realized I'd made a mistake. It wasn't my chocolate that he'd been taking. There was mine, unopened, just under my newspaper.

    How would you like to have been born without any ability to feel pain? There are such people. One of them is being studied by doctors at a hospital in New York City. He is a 22-year-old clerk who really does not know the meaning of pain. But he wishes he did.

    Not long ago a packet of matches flared up(骤然烧起) in his hand. Luckily the burn was not serious. It caused large blisters(水泡) but still did not bother him. He said the burn felt like a fly crawling(在……上爬行) on his fingers. It has been the same story as far back as he can remember. He has never had headaches or sore(疼痛的) muscles. Bee stings, cuts and bruises(疼痛的) do not hurt.

    Being free from pain is not as wonderful as you may think. The young man has had to have rotted teeth pulled because he never felt toothache warnings. A sudden attack of appendicitis(阑尾炎) could be deadly. Life without pain is as risky as trying to run a cruise ship without fire alarms.

    Let's say you want to hit the gym more regularly this year. How do you make that happen? Consider putting the habit loop to use.

    Here's how it works:

    A habit is a 3-step process. First, there's a cue, something that tells your brain to operate automatically. Then there's a routine. And finally, a reward, which helps your brain learn to desire the behavior. It's what you can use to create-or break-habits of your own.

    Here's how to apply it:

    Choose a cue, like leaving your running shoes by the door, then pick. a reward-say, a piece of chocolate when you get home from the gym. That way, the cue and the reward become interconnected. Finally, when you see the shoes, your brain will start longing for the reward, which will make it easier to work out day after day. The best part? In a couple of weeks, you won't need the chocolate at all. Your brain will come to see the workout itself as the reward. Which is the whole point, right?

    A city child's summer is spent in the street in front of his home, and all through the long summer vacations I sat on the edge of the street and watched enviously the other boys on the block play baseball. I was never asked to take part even when one team had a member missing—not out of special cruelty, but because they took it for granted I would be no good at it. They were right, of course.

    I would never forget the wonderful evening when something changed. The baseball ended about eight or eight thirty when it grew dark. Then it was the custom of the boys to retire to a little stoop(门廊) that stuck out from the candy store on the corner and that somehow had become theirs. No grownup ever sat there or attempted to. There the boys would sit, mostly talking about the games played during the day and of the game to be played tomorrow. Then long silences would fall and the boys would wander off one by one. It was just after one of those long silences that my life as an outsider changed. I can no longer remember which boy it was that summer evening who broke the silence with a question: but whoever he was, I nod to him gratefully now. “What's in those books you're always reading?” he asked casually. “Stories,” I answered. “What kind?” asked somebody else without much interest.

    Nor do I know what drove me to behave as I did,for usually I just sat there in silence, glad enough to be allowed to reain among them; but instead of answering his question, I told them for two hours the story I was reading at the moment. The book was Sister Carrie. They listened bug-eyed and breathless. I must have told it well, but I think there was another and deeper reason that made them to keep an audience. Listening to a tale being told in the dark is one of the most ancient of man's entertainments, but I was offering them as well, without being aware of doing it, a new and exciting experience.

    The books they themselves read were the Rover Boys or Tom Swift or G.A.Henty. I had read them too, but at thirteen I had long since left them behind. Since I was much alone I had become an enthusiastic reader and I had gone through the books-for-boys series. In those days there was no reading material between children's and grownups'books or I could find none. I had gone right fromTome Swift and His Flying Machine to Theodore Dreiser and Sister Carrie. Dreiser had hit my young mind, and they listened to me tell the story with some of the wonder that I had had in reading it.

    The next night and many nights thereafter, a kind of unspoken ritual (仪式) took place. As it grew dark, I would take my place in the center of the stoop and begin the evening's tale. Some nights, in order to taste my victory more completely, I cheated. I would stop at the most exciting part of a story by Jack London or Bret Harte, and without warning tell them that that was as far as I had gone in the book and it would have to be continued the following evening. It was not true, of course; but I had to make certain of my new-found power and position. I enjoyed the long summer evenings until school began in the fall. Other words of mine have been listened to by larger and more fashionable audiences, but for that tough and athletic one that sat close on the stoop outside the candy store, I have an unreasoning love that will last forever.

Dear Rose,

    My brother is often in a bad mood, which makes me in a bad mood. What should I do?

Jenny,

    It can be hard to be around someone who is in a bad mood. Since you can't change another person's mood, try to focus on what you can control: your own mood and reaction.

    You might find it easier to stay in a good mood if you leave your brother alone when he feels grumpy (脾气暴躁的). The next time he is in a bad mood, go to a quiet place in your house. Read, exercise, draw, listen to music — do something that makes you feel happy.

    Your parents might have some good suggestions for you, too.

Dear Rose,

   I play soccer, but sometimes I play badly. How can I do better? Jarom,

    To be good at anything, determination and practice are important. Listen closely to your coach, watch other players, then practice, practice, practice! Professional athletes continue to practice their sports each day, knowing that if they start to get lazy, they won't keep or develop their skills.

    In addition to practicing with teammates, you can work on drills on your own.

    Learning more about the sport may help too. Your coach can likely direct you to some good resources on skills development.

Dear Rose,

    I was moved up a grade a few years ago. Now, almost everyone in my previous grade asks me why. It wouldn't be a problem, except some boys ask over and over just to be annoying. What do I do?

Allison (by email)

    If you're sure that they are trying to be annoying, you might respond with something humorous. For example, you could say something like "They told me that the lunch lines would be shorter." Use the situation to turn annoying questions into something to laugh about.

Four Stories in Life

A real doll

I've worked at an amusement park and when another Barbara joined the team, I changed my name tag(标签) from "Barb" to "Barbie". It was funny to see how kids reacted to my name differently. "Is she really a Barbie?" they asked. I changed it at another job, too, and began answering the phone, "This is Barbie. How can I help you?" Ninety percent of callers now respond, "Barbie, can you tell me..?" Pronouncing that long "e" sound forces your mouth into a smile. But I've found the smile is usually returned voluntarily.

—Barbie Bosco Latrobe, Pennsylvania

Rice twice as nice

We replaced rice with cauliflower(花椰菜) rice. There's not much of a difference in taste, and it cooks in minutes, and is a vegetable instead of empty carbs(精制碳水化合物).

—Michelle Byrd Marlton, New Jersey

Happy wife, happy life

Early in our marriage, my husband would come home feeling tired after work, and I'd be tired due to looking after the kids. We were both tired and bad-tempered, and we often ended up arguing. It got to a point where I worried we were on the verge(边缘)of divorce. The day I realized it, I asked myself, "Am I the person I would want to come home to?"

I began greeting him with a smile and kiss instead of complaining about my day. He'd smile back and we'd talk calmly. We still have our differences, but one small change in attitude saved our marriage forever.

—Annabelle Wallis, Pennsylvania

Our "Spoonland" and "Forkland"

We presort silverware in the dishwasher. It takes no extra time to load and makes emptying much easier. We always smile when our kids, now adults, introduce friends to "Spoonland" and "Forkland".

—Kathleen Luck, Ohio