As I enter my 40s, I've noticed many of my parents' generation think social networking is something they are simply unable to understand. They fear that, should they try, they will somehow get it wrong; they will say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing or behave in a way that causes embarrassment(尴尬). But here's the first secret of social media: Everyone feels this way.

    I recently met a young actor who was complaining that her work demands that she join Microblog, but she always feels like she doesn't have anything smart to say. It's the same resistance (抵制)I hear from the older generation, who, however, have somehow believed that age is the barrier(障碍), rather than the differences of personal taste.

    Here's the second secret of social media: everybody uses it for more or less the same reasons. Older generations often sign up to stay in touch with children and relatives. We talk about this kind of communication like it's some old-fashioned activity, but it is exactly why younger people use social media. The truth is that most people use social media to gently keep an eye on one another, to see how those they care about are doing without needing to ring them up on the phone every night.

    And this is the last secret of social media: everyone gets to use them in their own way. Newcomers—younger and older—who worry about “getting it right” are thinking that there's a right way to get them. But actually there isn't. Personally, I talk a lot on Microblog. And some people post nothing and they use social media every day as readers. Social media companies would rather see people decorating their networks with pictures and posts, but there's no rule against being a fly on the wall. It's also a fine way to get involved.

    We're quick to forget that the web wasn't invented by 13-year-olds; it was created by today's seniors. I'd never try forcing those with no interest in social networks to use Microblog. But don't let the talk of age divides put you off. There's nothing to stop the older generation from joining in the network their own generation created.

    Dreams can be familiar and strange, fantastical or boring, but some dreams might be connected to the mental processes that help us learn. No one knows for certain why people dream, but some dreams might be connected to the mental processes that help us learn. In a recent study, scientists found a connection between nap-time dreams and better memory in people who were learning a new skill.

    In the study, 99 college students between the ages of 18 and 30 each spent an hour on a computer, trying to get through a virtual maze(迷宫). The maze was difficult, and the study participants had to start in a different place each time they tried — making it even more difficult. They were also told to find a particular picture of a tree and remember where it was.

    For the first 90 minutes of a five-hour break, half of the participants stayed awake and half were told to take a short nap. Participants who stayed awake were asked to describe their thoughts. Participants who took a nap were asked about their dream after sleep — and they were awakened within a minute of sleep to describe their dreams.

    Stickgold, a neuroscientist (神经科学家), to know what people were dreaming about when their eyes weren't moving, during sleep.

    Four of the 50 people who slept said their dreams were connected to the maze. Some dreamed about the music that had been playing when they were working; others said they dreamed about seeing people in the maze. When these four people tried the computer maze again, they were able to find the tree faster than before their naps.

    Stickgold suggests the dream itself doesn't help a person learn — it's the other way around. He suspects that the dream was caused by the brain processes associated with learning.

    All four of the people who dreamed about the task had done poorly the first time, which makes Stickgold wonder if the dreams show up when a person finds a new task particularly difficult. People who had other dreams, or people who didn't take a nap, didn't show the same improvement.

    How are you and your family going to celebrate Earth Day? It's a great day to get outside and ride a bike, but there are other ways you could spend the day. Here are four books. You can learn more about the earth and the animals that make the world a special place to live in.

    The Busy Beaver, by Nicholas Oldland

    Beaver is very, very busy, and he doesn't always think carefully. As a result, he makes a mess of the forest and ends up in hospital. Finally, he realizes how careless he's been and decides to make things right when he returns to the forest.

    Lessons from Mother Earth, by Elaine Mcleod

    Five-year-old Tess is visiting her grandmother and, for the first time, she visits the garden. Along the way, Tess's grandmother tells her the rules of the garden, "You must always take good care of our garden. Never throw rubbish around. There is plenty for everyone to share if we don't destroy the soil." The story is beautifully told as a caring conversation between a child and her grandmother.

    Luz Sees the Light, by Claudia Davila

    When Luz's community(社区) experiences a series of black-outs(停电), she quickly comes to understand the need to save energy and find other ways of doing things. With the help of her friends and neighbors, she creates a community garden and park that everyone can use. The book attracts many young readers.

    The Lorax, by Dr Seuss

    A young boy learns of the role of the Lorax as protector(保护者) of the trees, and how his home became polluted. The book contains memorable forestry conservation (森林保护).

    This is a true story that happened in Japan. In order to repair the house, a Japanese tore open the walls. Japanese houses normally have an empty space between the wooden walls. When pulling down the walls, he found that there was a lizard（蜥蜴）staying there because a nail（钉子）from outside was hammered into one of its feet. He saw this, feeling pity and curious. When he checked the nail, he found it was nailed 10 years ago when the house was first built.

    What happened? The lizard had survived in such a position for 10 years! It has been in a dark wall partition（夹层）for 10 years without moving! Then he wondered how this lizard survived for 10 years without moving a single step—since its foot was nailed! So he stopped his work and observed the lizard: What has it been doing? What and how has it been eating? Later, he didn't know from where another lizard appeared, with food in its mouth. Ah! He was astonished and touched deeply. The free lizard had been feeding it for the past 10 years.

    Such love, a beautiful love! Such love happened with this tiny creature… What can love do? It can do wonders! Just think about it: one lizard had been feeding the other for 10 long years, without giving up hope on its partner. If a small creature like a lizard can love like this, just imagine how we can love if we try.

My Favourite Books

    Jo Usmar is a writer for Cosmopolitan and co-author of the This Book Will series（系列）of lifestyle books. Here she picks her top reads.

    Matilda

    Roald Dahl

    I once wrote a paper on the influence of fairy tales on Roald Dahl's writing and it gave me a new appreciation for his strange and delightful words. Matilda's battles with her cruel parents and the bossy headmisres, Miss Trunchbull, are equally funny and frightening, but they're also aspirational.

    After Dark

    Haruki Murakami

    It's about two sisters-Eri, a model who either won't or can't stop sleeping, and Mari, a young student. In trying to connect to her sister. Mari starts changing her life and discovers a world of diverse "night people" who are hiding secrets.

    Gone Girl

    Gillian Fynn

    There was a bit of me that didn't want to love this when everyone else on the planet did but the horror story is brilliant. There's tension and anxiety from the beginning as Nick and Amy battle for your trust. It's a real whodunit and the frustration when you realise what's going on is horribly enjoyable

    The Stand

    Stephen King

    This is an excellent fantasy novel from one of the best storytellers around. After a serious flu outbreak wipes out 99.4% of the world's population, a battle unfolds between good and evil among those let. Randall Flagg is one of the scariest characters ever.

    The summer I turned 16, my father gave me his car — a gift wasted on me at that age. The important thing was that Hannah and I could drive around.

    Hannah was my best friend, a year younger but much taller, almost five foot ten. "Hannah's a knockout, "my mother always said. And that summer she signed with a modeling agency. She was already doing runway work.

    A month after my birthday, Hannah and I went to the movies. On the way home, we stopped at the McDonald's drive-through, putting the fries on the seat between us to share. "Let's ride around a while, "I said. It was a clear night, full moon slung(悬挂)low over the desert. Taking a turning too fast, I plowed (撞)through a neighbor's wall and drove into a full-grown tree.

    We were taken in separate ambulances. I'd cracked(使裂开)my cheek bone; Hannah's forehead had split wide open. End of her modeling career. What would I say to her?

    When her mother, Sharon, came into my hospital room, I started to cry. She sat beside me and took my hand. "I rear-ended(追尾) my best friend when I was your age, "she said. "I totaled her car and mine."

    "I'm so sorry," I said.

    "You're both alive," she said." The rest is window dressing. I forgive you. Hannah will too."

    Sharon's forgiveness allowed Hannah and me to stay friends throughout high school and college, to be at each other's weddings … The scars are so faded no one else would notice, but in the sunlight I can still see it just below her hairline — for me, a mark of grace(优雅).