Pacing and Pausing

    Sara tried to befriend her old friend Steve's new wife, but Betty never seemed to have anything to say. While Sara felt Betty didn't hold up her end of the conversation, Betty complained to Steve that Sara never gave her a chance to talk. The problem had to do with expectations about pacing and pausing.

    Conversation is a turn-taking game. When our habits are similar, there's no problem. But if our habits are different, you may start to talk before I'm finished or fail to take your turn when I'm finished. That's what was happening with Betty and Sara.

    It may not be coincidental that Betty, who expected relatively longer pauses between turns, is British, and Sara, who expected relatively shorter pauses, is American. Betty often felt interrupted by Sara. But Betty herself became an interrupter and found herself doing most of the talking when she met a visitor from Finland. And Sara had a hard time cutting in on some speakers from Latin America or Israel.

    The general phenomenon, then, is that the small conversation techniques, like pacing and pausing, lead people to draw conclusions not about conversational style but about personality and abilities. These habitual differences are often the basis for dangerous stereotyping (思维定势). And these social phenomena can have very personal consequences. For example, a woman from the southwestern part of the US went to live in an eastern city to take up a job in personnel. When the Personnel Department got together for meetings, she kept searching for the right time to break in — and never found it. Although back home she was considered outgoing and confident, in Washington she was viewed as shy and retiring. When she was evaluated at the end of the year, she was told to take a training course because of her inability to speak up.

    That's why slight differences in conversational style — tiny little things like microseconds of pause — can have a great effect on one's life. The result in this cause was a judgment of psychological problems — even in the mind of the woman herself, who really wondered what was wrong with her and registered for assertiveness training.

    Last summer, two nineteenth-century cottages were rescued from remote farm fields in Montana, to be moved to an Art Deco building in San Francisco. The houses were made of wood. These cottages once housed early settlers as they worked the dry Montana soil; now they hold Twitter engineers.

    The cottages could be an example of the industry' s odd love affair with “low technology,” a concept associated with the natural world, and with old-school craftsmanship (手艺) that exists long before the Internet era. Low technology is not virtual (虚拟的) —so, to take advantage of it, Internet companies have had to get creative. The rescued wood cottages, fitted by hand in the late eighteen-hundreds, are an obvious example, but Twitter's designs lie on the extreme end. Other companies are using a broader interpretation (阐释) of low technology that focuses on nature.

    Amazon is building three glass spheres filled with trees, so that employees can “work and socialize in a more natural, park-like setting.” At Google's office, an entire floor is carpeted in glass. Facebook's second Menlo Park campus will have a rooftop park with a walking trail.

    Olle Lundberg, the founder of Lundberg Design, has worked with many tech companies over the years. “We have lost the connection to the maker in our lives, and our tech engineers are the ones who feel impoverished (贫乏的) , because they're surrounded by the digital world,” he says. “They're looking for a way to regain their individual identity, and we've found that introducing real crafts is one way to do that.”

    This craft based theory is rooted in history, William Morris, the English artist and writer, turned back to pre-industrial arts in the eighteen-sixties, just after the Industrial Revolution. The Arts and Crafts movement defined itself against machines. “Without creative human occupation, people became disconnected from life,” Morris said.

    Research has shown that natural environments can restore(恢复) our mental capacities. In Japan, patients are encouraged to “forest-bathe,” taking walks through woods to lower their blood pressure.

    These health benefits apply to the workplace as well. Rachel Kaplvin, a professor of environmental psychology, has spent years researching the restorative effects of natural environment. Her research found that workers with access to nature at the office—even simple views of trees and flowers—felt their jobs were less stressful and more satisfying. If low-tech offices can potentially nourish the brains and improve the mental health of employees then, fine, bring on the cottages.

A few years ago, I read about an eight-year-old girl who studied elephant poaching in school and made a poster for her local grocery store. The slogan read, "Save the elephants. Don't buy Ivory Soap, or they will die out." What the girl had done taught me a lesson. Since then, I have looked at eight-year-olds in a different way. As an environmental educator, I used to teach eight-year-olds about the harm of elephant poaching, rainforest destruction, and global warming. I had a degree in natural science—but not in child development. What did I think I was accomplishing by putting my environmental concerns on the shoulders of kids who still believe in fairy tales?

Kids develop the fear of nature when their primary contact with the natural world is hearing bad news about the environment. If I wanted to inspire conservation action, I needed to change my ways, but now? I came across a research by psychologist Louise Chawla. She wanted to know what had gone on in the childhoods of adults who are good environmental citizens. She found two things most common. They had free time to explore the rivers or woods down the street, and they had an adult in their lives who was enthusiastic about the natural world. I understand now that what turned me into a good person today was a childhood spent playing in the field and having a dad who knew that finding a lobster under a rock was better than finding treasure.

    So that's what I was doing when I was eight years old—looking under rocks, climbing trees, and picking wild .flowers. I didn't know a thing about the Clean Air Act that was being debated in congress at that time. I didn't hear a lot of environmental problems. But I built a relationship with nature and I grew up to care. Now I treat my own kids like the child I was. My kids turn off the water when they brush their teeth and turn off the lights when they leave a room.

    Jersey Boys

    Jersey Boys is a Broadway musical that dramatizes the rise and fall of Frankie Valli and the 1960s rock 'n' roll group Four Seasons. According to Selladoor Worldwide, the group's Beijing tour will see a brand-new production of the musical, which features Luke Sheppard as director, Mark Crossland as music director and Cressida Carre as choreographer（编舞）. Since its 2005 premiere（首演）in New York, the musical has won 57 major awards worldwide.

    2:30 p.m. and 7:30 p.m., Jan 5 to Jan 13.Tianqiao Performing Arts Center, 9 Tianqiao Nandajie, Xicheng district. 400-635-3355.

    Ticket: 199-1,299 yuan ($30-200)

    Large-scale immersive show

    The large-scale immersive show Memory 5D +, directed by Ulan Xuerong, is ongoing in Beijing from Jan 4 to 7.

    The show follows the emotional entanglement between black and white spirits, representing yin and yang, and the flora girl. As a demonstration of traditional Chinese art, the show centers on cultural inheritance and includes live performance of guqin, a plucked seven-string Chinese musical instrument, guzheng, a Chinese plucked zither, konghou, an ancient plucked stringed instrument and horse-head fiddle, as well as acrobatics, Khoomei, shadow play and Mongolian folk song, even chants from The Book of Songs.

    7:30 p.m, Jan 5; 2:30 p.m./ 7:30 p. m., Jan 6; 7:30 p.m.., Jan 7. Beijing Exhibition Theater, 135 Xizhimenwai Dajie (Street), Xicheng district.

    Ticket: 180-1,080 yuan

    London Philharmonic Orchestra set to thrill Beijing

    The London Phiharmonic Orchestra will wrap up its China tour with two recitals in Being on Jan 5 and 6.

    Under the baton of Russian conductor Vasily Petrenko, the orchestra will perform H. Berlioz's overture to Beatrice et Benedict and P. I. Tchaikovsky's Fantasia on Romeo and Juliet and Variations on a Rococo Theme op.33, featuring Swedish-Danish cellist Andreas Brantelid, along with other pieces.

    7p.m., Jan 5-6. Concert Hall, National Center for the Performing Arts, 2 West Chang' an Avenue, Xicheng district. 010-6655-0000.

    Ticket: 380-1,680 yuan

    Russian army's troupe to return after restart

    The Russian army's official dance and choir troupe, the Alexandrov Ensemble, is staging five shows in Beijing from Jan 4 to 7, with a variety of songs, dances and instrumental performances.

The ensemble, also known as the Red Army Choir, was founded in 1928 and has toured the globe performing Russian folk tunes and patriotic songs using Western classical music and traditional Russian instruments.

    The repertoire on Saturday comprises 24 songs and dance pieces, including Song of the Soviet Army, The Sacred War, Moscow Nights and Festival March.

    7 p.m., Jan 5-7; 2:30 p.m., Jan 6. Opera House, National Center for the Performing Arts, 2 West Chang' an Avenue, Xicheng district. 010-6655-0000.

    Ticket: 180-1000 yuan

    The "Boomerang Kids" — young adults who leave to go to college, get married or just show off their independence — are moving back in with mom and dad. Boomerang Kids can be a mixed blessing for parents, both emotionally and financially.

    Especially during hard economic times, adult children head for home. According to a survey, about 40 percent of 2017 graduates still live with their parents. Moreover, 42 percent of the 2015 graduates surveyed said they are still living at home.

    The reasons are many, the first being economics. While the recession(衰退) has touched Americans of all ages, it has been very hard for young adults. This has sent many kids back home. Plus, there is the matter of debt, especially college loans. For many recent graduates, it makes smart economic sense to move back in with their parents where life is comfortable and rent is either low or nonexistent. Then, of course, some return for personal reasons, such as recovering from a divorce or an illness.

    Parents are often glad to help out, both emotionally and financially. As a result, the arrangement often works to everyone's satisfaction. However, there are risks, especially for the parents. These include not only family tension and misunderstandings, but also money. The return to the family can become a financial burden that can affect the parents' plans and their financial future, especially their retirement, as they try to do too much for their children.

    Languages have been coming and going for thousands of years, but in recent times there has been less coming and a lot more going. When the world was still populated by hunter-gatherers, small, tightly knit(联系) groups developed their own patterns of speech, independent of each other. Some language experts believe that 10,000 years ago, when the world had just five to ten million people, they spoke perhaps 12,000 languages between them.

    Soon afterwards, many of those people started settling down to become farmers, and their languages too became more settled and fewer in number. In recent centuries, trade, industrialization, the development of the nation-state and the spread of universal compulsory education, especially globalization and better communications in the past few decades, all have caused many languages to disappear, and dominant languages such as English, Spanish and Chinese are increasingly taking over.

    At present, the world has about 6,800 languages. The distribution of these languages is hugely uneven. The general rule is that mild zones have fewer languages spoken by many people while hot, wet zones have more, often spoken by small numbers. Europe has only around 200 Languages: the Americas about 1,000, Africa 2,400; and Asia and the Pacific perhaps 3,200, of which New Guinea alone accounts for well over 800. The median number(中位数) of speakers is a mere 6,000, which means that half the world's languages are spoken by fewer people than that.

    Now over 400 of the total of 6,800 languages are close to extinction(消亡), with only a few elderly speakers left. None of these seems to have chances of survival.