Manners nowadays in big cities like London are particularly non-existent. It's nothing for a big, strong schoolboy to push an elderly woman aside in the dash for the last remaining seat on a bus, much less stand up and offer his seat to her, as he ought to. In fact, it is saddening to note that if a man does offer his seat to an older woman, it is nearly always one from the older generation.

    This question of giving up seats in public transport is much argued by young men, who say that, since women have claimed equality, they no longer deserve to be treated with courtesy and that those who go out to work should take their turn in the rat race like anyone else. Women have never claimed to be physically as strong as men. Even if it's not agreed, however, that young men should stand up for older women, the fact remains that courtesy should be shown to the old, the sick and the burdened. Are we really so lost to all ideals of unselfishness that we can sit there indifferently reading the paper or a book, saying to ourselves "First come, first served", while a gray-haired woman, a mother with a young child or a cripple stands? Yet this is too often seen.

    Older people, tired and easy annoyed from a day's work, aren't angels, either-far from it. Many an argument or an insulting quarrel breaks out as they feel tired of pushes in the queue and shove(猛推) each other to get on buses.

    If cities are to remain pleasant places to live in at all, however, it seems necessary, not only that communication in transport should be improved, but also that communication between human beings should be kept smooth and polite. Shop assistant won't bother to assist, taxi drivers shout at each other as they dash dangerously round comers, bus conductors pull the bell before their desperate passengers have had time to get on or off the bus, and so on. It seems to us that it's up to the young and strong to do their small part to stop such deterioration(恶化).

    YOUR KIDS ARE AMAZING —especially compared with everybody else's (who seem to cry all the time). How do you show your love for your kids this holiday season? With toys that are smooth and colorful, interactive and exciting. And with ones that have educational value — because you are the boss.

FLAX ART HOSPITAL PUZZLE AND PLAY SET

    Here is a toy that doesn't need power, and the kids have to put it together themselves. This 50-piece-puzzle set is made of soft-edged hardwood and makes a complete hospital, with an X-ray room. It also includes eight patients, a car and a driver. $135.

TINY LOVE ACTIVITY BALL

    Sure, it's cool, but this colorful baby toy also develops problem solving and motor skills. It has a head and legs, a magnetic(磁铁) hand and a tail. Suitable for little ones from 6-36 months. $19.95; tiny-love.com.

ROBOSAPIEN

    This small, remote-control robot is really powerful. It performs 67 preprogrammed functions, including throwing, kicking, picking up and dancing. You can even program your own function — which, sadly, does not include doing windows. $99 robosapienonline.com.

MINI PEDAL CAR

    Want a mini Cooper but can't fit the family inside? Get one for the kids. They can jump into this mini car, which comes in hot orange with a single adjustable seat, and ride away. But it could spoil them for that used car they'll be driving when they turn 16. For ages 3 to 5. $189; minicar.com (click on “gear up” then “mini motoring gear”)

Help Hermit Crabs

    Hermit crabs are nature's recyclers. They eat waste and help keep oceans and shores clean. Unlike other crabs, the hermit crab has a thin outer shell over its soft tail. This makes the hermit crab easy prey for hungry predators(天敌).Hermit crabs stay safe by living in old seashells. A hermit crab is picky(狡猾); it tries on many shells until it finds one that fits just right. In recent years, however, many hermit crabs have had trouble finding their perfect homes. What is the problems. There are not enough shells to go around!

    One reason for the seashell shortage is that ocean water is not as clean as it once was. This has caused chemical changes to sea water. Some sea animals, like snails, are affected by these changes.  Now there are fewer snails making shells. People visiting the beach often take shells home as souvenirs(纪念品).This is another problem. Other people even take shells for their own pet hermit crabs! They do not realize that hermit crabs in the wild need those shells too.

    Now people are working to solve this hermit crab housing shortage. They are teaching beach-Boers to leave seashells where they belong--at the seashore! Some people even make fake seashells that they hope the hermit crabs will like. For example, a group called Project Shelter invited people who visited their website to create different designs for hermit crab shells.

    These designers had a lot to consider. What kind of material should be used to build a seashells. The material must be light enough for the hermit crab to carry, but strong enough to protect the crab from predators. The man-made shells could not contain glue or any other substance(物质)that might harm a hermit crab. Another challenge with building a hermit crab home was the opening to the shell. Too big would mean the crab would not feel safe. Too small would be uncomfortable, and the crab would not want to move in.

    The Project Shelter shells are placed in the wild for hermit crabs to find. Lucky hermit crabs can move into these new dream homes.

    "Have a nice day!" may be a pleasant gesture or a meaningless expression. When my friend Maxie says "Have a nice day" with a smile, I know she sincerely cares about what happens to me. I feel loved and secure since another person cares about me and wishes me well.

    "Have a nice day. Next!" This version of expression is spoken by a salesgirl at the supermarket who is rushing me and my groceries out the door. The words come out in the same tone(腔调)with a fixed procedure. They are spoken at me, not to me. Obviously, the concern for my day and everyone else's is the management's attempt to increase the business.

    The expression is one of those behaviors that help people get along with each other. Sometimes it indicates the end of a meeting. As soon as you hear it, you know the meeting is at an end. Sometimes the expression serves us when we don't know what to say." Oh, you just had a tooth out? I'm terribly sorry, but have a nice day."

    The expression can be pleasant. If a stranger says "Have a nice day" to you, you may find it heart-warming because someone you don't know has tried to be nice to you.

    Although the use of the expression is an insincere, meaningless social custom at times, there is nothing wrong with the sentence except that it is a little uninteresting. The salesgirl, the waitress, the teacher, and all the countless others who speak it without thinking may not really care about my day. But in a strange and comfortable way, it's nice to know they care enough to pretend they care when they really don't care all that much. While the expression may not often be sincere, it is always spoken. The point is that people say it all the time when they like.

    Imagine a small group of people with a shared passion for the same craft. They all have different skills and approaches, but they come together to share skills, share stories, and share in the joy of making something.

    Modern maker culture is filling headlines and lab spaces all over the world. The way makers communicate with each other has changed over time. In the past, skills mainly came from personal sit-downs with members of the group. But sometimes a teacher wasn't available, or the one available didn't know how to do the skill others wanted to learn.

    Today a teacher doesn't even have to be in the same country or occupy the same decade as the students. Thanks to the work of people who take the time to break down and share the details of their craft, an interested individual can learn anything. Guides may range from videos to diagrams and text. Regardless of the media, maker resources are meant to be shared.

    One of the features of the maker movement is the crossover between different interests. Perhaps a passion for cars and for leather craft can result in a truly custom interior (定制的内饰). Perhaps a love of knitting (编织)and robotics will result in a tiny ——but very mobile ——robotic furry cat.

    And once you have started your creation, finding a community to share with is no longer limited to the people nearby. Modern makers have been sharing videos of their progress online for years, contributing greatly to the rapid spread of the maker movement. As different as the participants might be, they share enthusiasm, support, and a willingness to try.

    Imagine making a ping-pong table together with your makers' team. One group builds the basic frame. Another group takes on the responsibility of painting. You knit the net. There is joy in just giving it a try. It will remind you of childhood creations. Whether you are an experienced programmer or just picking up a hammer for the first time, it is never a bad time to come up with an idea, try something, and share the results.

    Convincing someone to change their mind is really the process of convincing them to change their tribe (部落). If they abandon their beliefs, they run the risk of losing social ties. You can't expect someone to change their mind if you take away their community too.

    The way to change people's minds is to become friends with them, to combine them into your tribe, to bring them into your circle. Now, they can change their beliefs without the risk of being abandoned socially.

    The British philosopher Alain de Botton suggests that we simply share meals with those who disagree with us: "Sitting down at a table with a group of strangers has the incomparable and odd benefit of making it a little more difficult to hate them without punishment. Prejudice and conflict between groups of people from different nations or races feed off abstraction. However, during a meal, something about handing dishes around, unfolding napkins (餐巾纸) at the same moment, even asking a stranger to pass the salt makes us less likely to hold the belief that the outsiders who wear unusual clothes and speak in distinctive accents deserve to be sent home or attacked. For all the large-scale political solutions which have been proposed to ease racial or cultural conflict, there are few more effective ways to promote tolerance between suspicious neighbours than to force them to eat supper together."

    Perhaps it is not difference, but distance that produces tribalism and unfriendliness. As proximity increases, so does understanding. I am reminded of Abraham Lincoln's quote, "I don't like that man. I must get to know him better." Facts don't change our minds. Friendship does.

    The Japanese writer Haruki Murakami once wrote, "Always remember that to argue, and win, is to break down the reality of the person you are arguing against. It is painful to lose your reality, so be kind, even if you are right."

    When we are in the moment, we can easily forget that the goal is to connect with the other side, cooperate with them, befriend them, and integrate them into our tribe. We are so caught up in winning that we forget about connecting. It's easy to spend your energy labeling people rather than working with them.

    The word "kind (family and relatives)" originated from the word "kin (old fashion of family and relatives)." When you are kind to someone, it means you are treating them like family. This, I think, is a good method for actually changing someone's mind. Develop a friendship. Share a meal. Gift a book. Be kind first, be right later.