Recently, I learned firsthand why it's a bad idea to judge people prematurely (过早地).

    I'm a nursing supervisor, and my job is to evaluate workers' performances at the hospital.

    Kenny was a new employee. After weeks' probation (试用), I had to admit that he was clean, punctual and efficient.

    But he had this self-assured and energetic presence. He was a large man, both physically and socially — he was independent and strong. I worried that our hospital, which demanded teamwork, was not right for such a personality.

    We had a patient named Mary. At 94 years old, Mary was weak. She had outlived her husband and sisters.

    Mary had an obsessive (强迫性的) belief that someone had taken her purse. She searched for it all the time. Unless tied to her wheelchair, she would go through the door onto the street mindlessly searching and never giving up. She was often sitting in her wheelchair in the hallway, where she stopped everyone who came near.

    “Can you lend me a comb?” she would ask. “I've lost mine. It was in my red purse. Where is my purse?”

    Every day it was the same. We all knew Mary didn't have a purse, but we would answer: “Sure, if I see your purse I'll bring it back.”

    One afternoon, I saw Kenny walking down the hall with a grocery bag. He walked toward Mary in her wheelchair. He pulled out a red purse.

    Mary's old hands flew up to her face in a gesture of wonder and joy, and then flew out hungrily like a starved child taking bread. Mary grabbed the red purse. She held it for a moment, and then pressed it to her breast, rocking it like a baby.

    Kenny leaned over, unzipped the purse open and showed Mary a comb inside. Tears of joy poured down Mary's face.

    Instead of paying lip service like the rest of us, Kenny had made Mary's problem his problem. I had been wrong about Kenny.

    Guided Walking Week April 2016

    Dates: April 30^th-May 7^th 2016

    Location: Abdet, Costa Blanca

    A week of guided walking in the mountains around Abdet. Highlights include the climbing of Valencia's highest summit (Sierra de Aitana), traveling completely around the impressive Puig Campana, and several explorations in the Sierra de Aitana. Ancient trails lead through spectacular canyons(峡谷) to abandoned settlements situated high in the mountains. You will discover the snow trader routes which lead from the incredible snow holes high in the mountains down to the villages and towns on the coast. These years, golden eagles have made a return to this area, and you may also see other animals—wild goats, foxes, wild pigs and red squirrels.

    As part of the week you are invited to help clear some local walking paths. This involves clearing collapsed （坍塌的） walls and rocks, cutting back fallen trees. This is of course optional and is just for half a day, it's actually great fun!

Price:$499

Includes:

    Accommodation in the beautiful mountain village of Abdet

    All food-good home cooking

    Beer, wine, soft drinks

    Snacks and post walk treats

    Packed lunches & drinks(except café/bar visits)

    Expert guiding

    Photos/Videos of your days in the mountains

    Airport pick-up/return $25 each way(fly to Alicante)

    Single room supplement $75

    To book or get further information, please contact info@abdet.com.

    Flat Holm, a small island in Britain's Bristol Channel, has no permanent residents and minimal infrastructure（设施）. The pretty land mass is now, however, becoming increasingly popular with tourists wishing to explore the rural landscape and view the island's seabird colonies.

    Though this is welcome news, meeting the island's growing energy needs without ruining its environment poses a challenge. Flat Holm team leader Natalie Taylor says, “As we promote the island more and we get more visitors here, there's going to be a lot more demand for electricity so it's really important that we've got a really high functioning system that can provide for those people. From an environmental point of view, we want to reduce the use of diesel（柴油）generators so that we can have as small ecological footprints as possible.”

    While the Cardiff Council, which oversees the island, considered traditional solar and hydroelectricity, it was reluctant to carry out either, due to their high cost and permanent nature. According to energy and sustainability manager Gareth Harcombe, the officials were seeking a portable option that could be moved if the site was needed for another purpose.

    Fortunately, the UK-based company Renovagen had the perfect solution. A small panel can provide 11kW of power within two minutes. A more extensive version, unrolled from a shipping container, can yield 300kW of electricity in less than an hour.

    The solar panel “carpets”, laid on the island in early October, are being used to provide electricity to its sole pub and lighthouse. The Cardiff Council also plans to use them to charge two Nissan e-NV200 electric vehicles in the future.

    In addition to providing power to remote islands like Flat Holm, Hingley hopes the Rapid Roll technology will be useful in areas affected by natural disasters. A good example is Puerto Rico, where most residents have been without electricity since Hurricane Maria destroyed the power lines in late September.

    Boomerang children who return to live with their parents after university can be good for families, leading to closer, more supportive relationships and increased contact between the generations, a study has found.

    The findings contradict research published earlier this year showing that returning adult children trigger a significant decline in their parents' quality of life and wellbeing.

    The young adults taking part in the study were “more positive than might have been expected” about moving back home – the shame is reduced as so many of their peers are in the same position, and they acknowledged the benefits of their parents' financial and emotional support. Daughters were happier than sons, often slipping back easily into teenage patterns of behaviour, the study found.

    Parents on the whole were more uncertain, expressing concern about the likely duration of the arrangement and how to manage it. But they acknowledged that things were different for graduates today, who leave university with huge debts and fewer job opportunities.

    The families featured in the study were middle-class and tended to view the achievement of adult independence for their children as a “family project”. Parents accepted that their children required support as university students and then as graduates returning home, as they tried to find jobs paying enough to enable them to move out and get on the housing ladder.

    “However,” the study says, “day-to-day tensions about the prospects of achieving different dimensions of independence, which in a few extreme cases came close to conflict, characterised the experience of a majority of parents and a little over half the graduates”.

    Areas of disagreement included chores, money and social life. While parents were keen to help, they also wanted different relationships from those they had with their own parents, and continuing to support their adult children allowed them to remain close.

    I'd like to share a little story with you about something that happened when I was four. I remember it clearly. Our loving family dog was nearing the end of his life. My father picked him up and put him in a little bed we had made for him. Our dog, my companion, whom we had cared for, bit my father when he attempted to help him. How could he? Why? I couldn't understand it. I didn't like him anymore.

    I hadn't thought about that story for a long time but something that happened last week brought it back to me. I went to speak with a friend. When I knocked on the door, I met in an instant an angry look and a few harsh(尖刻的)words. When the door was slammed(砰地关上)in my face, I stood there shocked, and in a rush, I was reminded of my dog bit my father 20 years ago or so. What brought that story back was that same feeling of betrayal.

    Both stories taught me something the next day. You see, when I got up in the morning and was told my dog had died, it became clear to me that he must have been in great pain. For him to have bitten a family member, he could not have been himself. Much the same for the other story when I learned that my friend's wife had just left him.

    We are all beings of our environments, our opinions and feelings. And all of those things can cause you to say and do things that can't be understood by those who are not in the same situation with you.

    If you meet someone either behaving out of character or acting in a way that doesn't seem to fit the situation, put out your hand and be patient when you think it is least possible for him to do so. You may turn around a story that has a sad ending simply by your actions.

If you are a psychology enthusiast, you have probably heard of the famous marshmallow test （棉花糖实验）. In this task, kids are given a marshmallow, and are told that they can eat that marshmallow now, or wait a little while, and have two marshmallows instead. Some kids eat the marshmallow immediately, but most try their best to wait for two. 

When the researchers followed up with those kids later in life, children who waited longer had better life outcomes: more academic success, better social behavior, and even markers of better health. They believe those children who keep waiting are the ones with the most self-control-a key factor in success, and that's why they are so successful later. 

But what if the behavior in the marshmallow test has more to do with cultural norms than self-control?

A 2022 study tested the idea that children may decide how long to wait for rewards based on what they are accustomed to waiting for in their culture. For example, in the United States, there is no widespread mealtime custom of waiting until everyone is served. In Japan, however, there is. 

Because of this difference in norms, the researchers hypothesized that Japanese children would wait longer in the marshmallow test than the American children. This is exactly what they found later in experiments. 

But this isn't conclusive evidence; after all, maybe Japanese children actually have better self-control, or maybe they differ from American children in other ways that could explain the result. 

In the U. S. , gifts are usually given on special occasions and children usually have to wait before they can unwrap their presents. In Japan, however, gift-giving happens more often, and children usually open presents immediately. 

Given these cultural differences, scientists expected that if they ran the test with gifts instead of marshmallows, American kids would wait longer. Once again, their hypothesis was correct. 

This is a powerful result because it demonstrates the importance of culture and habit in shaping behavior. If a child waits only few minutes before giving up on two marshmallows but much longer to unwrap a gift, can we really say that child lacks self-control? I don't think so. I think it just means that they are adjusting well to their social settings.