Britons may like to complain a lot, but they rarely do so right now, explains BBC writer Ruth Margolis. They would rather grumble (发牢骚) afterward. This is because Britons hate to put someone out and cause any embarrassment. Margolis writes, “For instance, I'm much more comfortable just leaving that piece of raw chicken on my plate instead of complaining to restaurant staff. But beware: if this kind of thing happens when you're dining with an American, they will most likely speak up on your behalf and not understand why you find this ashamed.”

    In a BBC blog post comparing cultural differences between the UK and the US, Margolis mentions a few other things that Americans like to do that are offensive to Britons.

● Not making introductions

    Margolis says most Britons dislike this approach because “talking to strangers without being introduced gives them a stomachache”. Americans rarely introduce a new friend to their friends at parties. Strangers are supposed to introduce themselves.

● “Quite” good

    Using “quite” to mean “very” happens a lot in the US. But if you are invited to a dinner party in Britain, don't describe the meal as “quite good” if you want to express high praise. To Britons' ears, “quite” detracts from the “good”: the meal was OK but could have been better.

● Money Talk

    Americans can talk about money subjects for hours without feeling uncomfortable. For Britons, says Margolis, “Talking about how much we make is unthinkable — even 1ess so than discussing our feelings.”

● Over-politeness

    “It's not that I want shop assistants to be actively rude. But neither do I want to expend energy responding to someone who's been paid to ask: ‘How are you today?'” says Margolis. In the US, it is not unusual to be greeted by a perfect stranger as “honey” or “sweetie”. But Margolis says Britons find put-on friendliness, especially in stores, deeply irritating.

In 1974, after filling out fifty applications, going through four interviews, and winning one offer, I took what I could get —- a teaching job at what I considered a distant wild area: western New Jersey. My characteristic optimism was alive only when I reminded myself that I would be doing what I had wanted to do since I was fourteen —— teaching English.

    School started, but I felt more and more as if I were in a foreign country. Was this rural area really New Jersey? My students took a week off when hunting season began. I was told they were also frequently absent in late October to help their fathers make hay on the farms. I was a young woman from New York City, who thought that “Make hay while the sun shines” just meant to have a good time.

But, still, I was teaching English. I worked hard, taking time off only to eat and sleep. And then there was my sixth-grade class — seventeen boys and five girls who were only six years younger than me. I had a problem long before I knew it. I was struggling in my work as a young idealistic teacher. I wanted to make literature come alive and to promote a love of the written word. The students wanted to throw spitballs and whisper dirty words in the back of the room.

    In college I had been taught that a successful educator should ignore bad behavior. So I did, confident that, as the textbook had said, the bad behavior would disappear as I gave my students positive attention. It sounds reasonable, but the text evidently ignored the fact that humans, particularly teenagers, rarely seems reasonable. By the time my boss, who was also my taskmaster, known to be the strictest, most demanding, most quick to fire inexperienced teachers, came into the classroom to observe me, the students exhibited very little good behavior to praise.

    My boss sat in the back of the room. The boys in the class were making animal noises, hitting each other while the girls filed their nails or read magazines. I just pretended it all wasn't happening, and went on lecturing and tried to ask some inspiring questions. My boss, sitting in the back of the classroom, seemed to be growing bigger and bigger. After twenty minutes he left, silently. Visions of unemployment marched before my eyes.

    I felt mildly victorious that I got through the rest of class without crying, but at my next free period I had to face him. I wondered if he would let me finish out the day. I walked to his office, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

He was sitting in his chair, and he looked at me long and hard. I said nothing. All I could think of was that I was not an English teacher; I had been lying to myself, pretending that everything was fine.

    When he spoke, he said simply, without accusation, “You had nothing to say to them.”

     “You had nothing to say to them”. he repeated.” No wonder they are bored. Why not get to the meat of literature and stop talking about symbolism. Talk with them, not at them. And more important, why do you ignore their bad behavior”? We talked. He named my problems and offered solutions. We role-played. He was the bad student, and I was the forceful, yet, warm, teacher. 
       As the year progressed, we spent many hours discussing literature and ideas about human beings and their motivations. He helped me identify my weaknesses and strengths. In short, he made a teacher of me by teaching me the reality of Emerson's words: “The secret to education lies in respecting the pupil.”

    Fifteen years later I still drive that same winding road to the same school. Thanks to the help I received that difficult first year, the school is my home now.

Research shows that isolation(隔绝，孤立)is bad for us and associated with certain diseases including depression, high blood pressure and heart disease. Yet teenagers seek isolation by using the device of our times—a screen, screens of all kinds. However, in whatever form, screens are addictive, and addictive from an early age. Research has shown that given the chance, six-month-old babies prefer screens to real human faces.

    Hand in hand with this addiction to screens, we are seeing an explosion of teenage mental health problems. Social media claims to be inclusive, keeping you connected. But it's not. It isolates you from real people. Screens have even been described as being poisonous for teenagers.

    Psychologist Jean Twenge, a professor at San Diego State University, believes today's teenagers are “on the edge” of a major mental health crisis and requestes, “do anything that doesn't involve a screen”. The problem is, she claims, children born between 1995 and 2012 have grown up with a smart phone in their hands, and it has “changed every aspect” of their lives. The number of teenagers who actually see their friends frequently has dropped by more than 40% since 2000. In 2015, only 56% of 17-year-old went on a date, down from 85%. Modern teenagers are slower to learn to drive, or earn money and spend more time at home. They're “on their phone, in their room, alone and often depressed”, she says.

    Some critics, however, say we should encourage our children to spend more time online. Robert Hannigan, former director of GCHQ, said in August that Britain is badly short of engineers and computer scientists, and urged children to develop cyber skill to compete in the digital economy.

    I' m not the first to say that social media is inferior to real human contact, and harms mental health. Studies show teens who spend three hours a day online are 35% more likely to suicide(自杀).

    The suicide rate among girls aged 12 to 14 has more than doubled in a decade.

    A research project jointly carried out by scientists from several British universities and institutes has drawn people's attention to the toothbrush again.

    Researchers have found that your toothbrush is home to more than 100 million bacteria. But there are hundreds of microorganisms in the mouths and your toothbrush probably won't make you sick unless there is an unhealthy balance of bacteria. Our immune system can usually take care of bacterial invaders. However, if others use your toothbrush, or you use someone else's, bacteria can be spread.

    They have also found the toothbrush holders are the third-most dirty household items (behind dish sponges and kitchen sinks), thus advocating cleaning the toothbrush holder regularly.

    The storage of your toothbrush in your bathroom is also important. Here are some storage tips from the researchers to keep your toothbrush as healthy as possible:

    Put your toothbrush as far away as possible from the toilet flushing.

    Let your toothbrush dry thoroughly between brushings.

    Don't use toothbrush covers, which can create a perfect breeding ground for bacteria.

    Keep your toothbrush upright in a holder rather than lying down.

    Keep toothbrushes separate. If toothbrushes touch, they can exchange and spread bacteria.

    There are products available that claim to sanitize（消毒）your toothbrush. While some of these products do kill some bacteria, there is no evidence that using them will reduce your risk of illness, according to the researchers.

    They recommend replacing your toothbrush every three to four months or more often if you are sick or if you have a weakened immune system. Children's toothbrushes may need to be replaced more often than adult brushes.

    One of the biggest problems when we are talking is the awkward silence. Encountering this situation is so uncomfortable that you would avoid meeting new people in the first place. In the past, I struggled with this and I even thought it had to do with my DNA or something… But later I learned that once you know how to keep those words flowing, you can meet and talk to anyone you like, which helps create great possibilities for friendship, fun and shared activities that you would otherwise have missed out on.

    After studying this in depth, I had different opinions and found that one of these common behaviors is the habit of filtering (过滤)--holding back from saying something until you've "checked" to make sure that what you're about to say is cool, impressive and interesting. Another problem is not learning to get in the mood for conversation. If you don't know how to change from subjects, then it can take a lot of time to warm up.

    It is the reflex (习惯性思维) that allows you to say whatever goes on in your mind. It's fun to realize that you're allowed to say whatever is on your mind. As long as you don't say anything that could land you in jail (监狱).

    All of the "Oh! That's interesting…" "Hmm, I've never heard of that" "Hmm, cool!" expressions are reactionary (保守的) bits of conversation that prove to the other person that you're really listening. This works 99% of the time. So, if you show some interest, they'll hang around and want to talk to you even more.

    Everyone knows that stories juice-up conversations, but most people only talk about stories of their own lives. When someone mentions something related to any of them, just tell the story, even if it's not from your life. The more interesting, stranger or more frightening they are, the harder they are to forget.

The Alexander technique

    Until earlier this year, I didn't know anything about the Alexander technique—and saw no reason to think I should. One day, the backache I regularly suffered was more painful. I was brought up to think that the preferred way of dealing with aches is to do nothing and hope they'll go away, but I eventually went to the doctor. After examining me, he said, "You actually have bad posture (姿势). Go off and learn the Alexander technique." Three months later I could walk straighter and sit better.

    The Alexander technique is a way of learning how you can get rid of harmful tension in your body. The teaching focuses on the neck, head and back. It trains you to use your body less severely and carry out the movements that we do all the time with less effort. There is little effort in the lessons themselves, which sets apart the Alexander technique from yoga or pilates, which are exercise-based. A typical lesson involves standing in front of a chair and learning to sit and stand with minimum effort. You spend some time lying on a bench with your knees bent to straighten the spine (脊椎) and relax your body while the teacher moves your arms and legs to train you to move them correctly.

    The technique helps to break the bad habits accumulated over years. Try folding your arms the opposite way to normal. This is an example of a habit the body has formed which can be hard to break. Many of us carry our heads too far back. The head weighs four to six kilos, so any inappropriate posture can cause problems for the body. The technique teaches you to let go of the muscles holding the head back, allowing it to go back to its natural place on the top of our spines.

    So who was Alexander and how did he come up with the technique? Frederick Alexander, an Australian actor born in 1869, found in his youth that he had vocal (声音的) problems during performances. He analyzed himself and realized his posture was bad. He worked on improving it, with excellent results. He brought his technique to London and opened a teacher-training school, which is still successful today.

    So if you're walking along the road one day with shoulders bent forward, feeling weighed down by your troubles, give a thought to the Alexander technique. It will help you walk tall again.