When I was about 12, I had an enemy, a girl who liked to point out my shortcomings(缺点). Week by week her list grew: I was very thin, I wasn't a good student, I talked too much, I was too proud, and so on. I tried to hear all this as long as I could. At last, I became very angry. I ran to my father with tears in my eyes.

    He listened to me quietly, and then he asked, “Are the things she says true or not? Janet, didn't you ever wonder what you're really like? Well, you now have that girl's opinion. Go and make a list of everything she said and mark the points that are true. Pay no attention to the other things she said.”

    I did as he told me. To my great surprise, I discovered that about half the things were true. Some of them I couldn't change (like being very thin), but a good number I could—and suddenly I wanted to change. For the first time I got a fairly clear picture of myself.

    I brought the list back to Daddy. He refused to take it. “That's just for you,” he said. “You know better than anyone else the truth about yourself. But you have to learn to listen, not just close your ears in anger and feel hurt. When something said about you is true, you'll find it will be of help to you. Our world is full of people who think they know your duty. Don't shut your ears. Listen to them all, but hear the truth and do what you know is the right thing to do.”

    Daddy's advice has returned to me at many important moments. In my life, I've never had a better piece of advice.

    Many kids help out around the house with chores(家庭杂务) such as emptying the dishwasher, putting laundry away, and taking out the trash. In exchange, some kids get allowances(补贴) or other rewards such as extra computer time.

    But some people do not think that kids should get rewards for doing chores. Susie Walton, a parenting educator and family coach, believes that by rewarding kids, parents are sending a message that work isn't worth doing unless you get something in return. "Running any kind of household is a team effort," Susie said. "A home is a living space for everyone in the family. It's important for kids to see that we all have responsibilities in the house, and that families decide together how they want their home to look, and how they are going to keep it looking like everyone wants it to look."

    Other people believe that getting a cash allowance or other rewards motivates kids to do chores, and it also teaches them real world lessons about how we need to work to earn money. There are also new applications that give kids points and digital gifts that can be redeemed(兑取) either online or in the real world. With the ChoreMonster app, kids earn digital points by completing chores that they can turn in for real-life rewards such as extra Xbox time or a trip to the mall. "Our goal is to encourage kids to earn rewards," says Chris Bergman, founder of ChoreMonster. "Kids need positive reinforcement(强化) to help motivate them."

    What do you think? Should kids be rewarded for doing chores? Or should kids help out around their homes without getting anything in return?

    Write a 200-word response. Send it to tfkasks4youtimeforkids.com. Your response may be published in a future issue of Time For Kids. Please include your grade and contact information of your parent or teacher if you want your response to be published. The deadline for responding is February 18.

    Technological change is everywhere and affects every aspect of life, mostly for the better. However, social changes brought about by new technology are often mistaken for a change in attitudes.

    An example at hand is the involvement of parents in the lives of their children who are attending college. Surveys (调查) on this topic suggests that parents today continue to be "very" or "somewhat" overly-protective even after their children move into college dormitories. The same surveys also indicate that the rate of parental involvement is greater today than it was a generation ago. This is usually interpreted as a sign that today's parents are trying to manage their children's lives past the point where this behavior is appropriate.

    However, greater parental involvement does not necessarily indicate that parents are failing to let go of their "adult" children.

    In the context (背景) of this discussion, it seems valuable to first find out the cause of change in the case of parents' involvement with their grown children. If parents of earlier generations had wanted to be in touch with their college-age children frequently, would this have been possible? Probably not. On the other hand, does the possibility of frequent communication today mean that the urge to do so wasn't present a generation ago? Many studies show that older parents - today's grandparents - would have called their children more often if the means and cost of doing so had not been a barrier.

    Furthermore, studies show that finances are the most frequent subject of communication between parents and their college children. The fact that college students are financially dependent on their parents is nothing new; nor are requests for more money to be sent from home. This phenomenon is neither good nor bad; it is a fact of college life, today and in the past.

    Thanks to the advanced technology, we live in an age of bettered communication. This has many implications well beyond the role that parents seem to play in the lives of their children who have left for college. But it is useful to bear in mind that all such changes come from the technology and not some imagined desire by parents to keep their children under their wings.

    Tokyo is one of those places that you can love and hate at the same time.

    In Tokyo there are always too many people in the places where I want to be. Of course there are too many cars. The Japanese drive very fast, but in Tokyo they often spend a long time in traffic jams. Tokyo is not different from London, Paris and New York in that. It is different when one wants to walk.

    At certain times of the day there are a lot of people on foot in London's Oxford Street. But the streets near the Ginze in Tokyo always have a lot of people on foot， and sometimes it is really difficult to walk. People are very polite; there are just too many of them.

    The worst time to be in the street is at 11:30 at night. That is when the nightclubs are closing and everybody wants to go home. There are 35,000 nightclubs in Tokyo, and you do not often see one that is empty.

    During the day，most people travel to and from work by train. Tokyo people buy six million train tickets every day. At most stations, trains arrive every two or three minutes, but at certain hours there do not seem to be enough trains. Although they are usually crowded, Japanese trains are very good. They always leave and arrive on time. On a London train you would see everybody reading a newspaper. In Tokyo trains everybody in a seat seems to be asleep, whether his journey is long or short.

    In Tokyo, I stood outside the station for five minutes. Three fire-engines raced past on the way to one of the many fires that Tokyo has every day. Tokyo has so many surprises that none of them can really surprise me now.

    You are a member in a full-time school called "life". Each day here you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or hate them, but you have designed them as part of your curriculum.

    Why are you here? What is your purpose? Humans have sought to discover the meaning of life for a very long time. What we and our ancestors have to overlook is that there is no one answer. The meaning of life is different for every individual.

    Each person has his own purpose and distinct path, unique and separate from anyone else's. As you are traveling your life path, you will be presented with numerous lessons you will need to learn in order to achieve that purpose. The lessons you are presented with are specific to you; learning these lessons is the key to discovering and achieving the meaning of your own life.

    As you are traveling through your lifetime, you may meet challenging lessons that others don't have to face, while others spend years struggling with challenges that you don't need to deal with. You may never know why you are blessed with a wonderful marriage, while your friends suffer painful divorces, just as you cannot be sure why you struggle financially while your peers enjoy abundance. The only thing you can count on is that you will be presented with all the lessons that you specifically need to learn.

    The challenge, therefore, is to arrange yourself with your own unique path by learning individual lessons. This is one of the most difficult challenges you will face in your lifetime, as sometimes your path will be different from others. But don't compare your path with that of people around you and focus on the differences between their lessons and yours. You need to remember that you will only face lessons that you can learn and are specific to your own growth.

    Our sense of fairness is the expectation of equality. Life is not, in fact, fair, and you may indeed have a more difficult life path than others around you, deserved or not. Everyone's circumstances are unique, and everyone needs to handle his or her own circumstances differently.

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