Does Fame Drive You Crazy?

    Although being famous might sound like a dream come true, todays star, feeling like zoo animals, face pressures that few of us can imagine. They are at the center of much of the worlds attention. Paparazzi (狗仔队) camp outside their homes, cameras ready. Tabloids (小报) publish thrilling stories about their personal lives. Just imagine not being able to do anything without being photographed or interrupted for a signature.

    According to psychologist Christina Villareal, celebrities（famous people名人) worry constantly about their public appearance. Eventually, they start to lose track of who they really are, seeing themselves the way their fans imagine them, not as the people they were before everyone knew their names. “Over time,” Villareal says, “they feel separated and alone.”

    The phenomenon of tracking celebrities has been around for ages. In the 4th century B.C., painters followed Alexander the Great into battle, hoping to picture his victories for his admirers. When Charles Dickens visited America in the 19th century, his sold-out readings attracted thousands of fans, leading him to complain about his lack of privacy(隐私). Tabloids(小报) of the 1920s and 1930s ran articles about film-stars in much the same way that modern tabloids and websites do.

    Being a public figure today, however, is a lot more difficult than it used to be. Superstars cannot move about without worrying about photographers with modern cameras. When they say something silly or do something ridiculous, there is always the Internet to spread the news in minutes and keep their “story” alive forever.

    If fame is so troublesome, why arent all celebrities running away from it? The answer is there are still ways to deal with it. Some stars stay calm by surrounding themselves with trusted friends and family or by escaping to remote places away from big cities. They focus not on how famous they are but on what they love to do or whatever made them famous in the first place.

    Sometimes a few celebrities can get a little justice. Still, even stars who enjoy full justice often complain about how hard their lives are. They are tired of being famous already.

    Until late in the 20th century, most Americans spent time with people of generations. Now mid-aged Americans may not keep in touch with old people until they are old themselves. That's because we group people by age. We put our three-year-olds together in day-care center, our 13-year-olds in school and sports activities, and our 80-year-olds in senior-citizen homes. Why?

    We live away from the old for many reasons: young people sometimes avoid the old to get rid of fears for aging and dying. It is much harder to watch someone we love disappear before our eyes. Sometimes it's so hard that we stay away from the people who need us most.

    Fortunately, some of us have found our way to the old. And we have discovered that they often save the young.

    A reporter moved her family onto a block filled with old people. At first her children were disappointed. But the reporter baked banana bread for the neighbors and had her children deliver it and visit them. Soon the children had many new friends, with whom they shared food, stories and projects. “My children have never been less lonely,” the reporter said.

    The young, in turn, save the old. Once I was in a rest home when a visitor showed up with a baby. She was immediately surrounded. People who hadn't gotten out of bed in a week suddenly were ringing for a wheelchair. Even those who had seemed asleep wake up to watch the child. Babies have an astonishing power to comfort and cure.

    Grandparents are a special case. They give grandchildren a feeling of security and continuity. As my husband put it, “my grandparents gave me a deep sense that things would turn out right in the end.”

    Grandchildren speak of attention they don't get from worried parents. “My parents were always telling me to hurry up, and my grandparents told me to slow down,” one friend said. A teacher told me she can tell which pupils have relationships with grandparents: they are quieter, calmer, more trusting.

    She was walking home from work one evening when she got the idea. Rosa didn't like her job at the factory, but it was better than no job at all. So, while she was trying not to think about work, she saw the pots in an alley. They were cheap plastic pots, but there were dozens of them piled up behind the flower shop. Such a waste, she thought. When the pots were still there three days later, Rosa went in and asked if she could take some. The flower shop lady said she didn't mind, so Rosa carried home a tower of pots, pretending she was a circus performer on the way.

    At home, Rosa set them on the fire escape outside her tiny apartment. And there they sat. Once a gust of wind sent them slipping to the street three floors below, and she had to go to run after and catch them before the gathering storm.

    Every day, Rosa went to work and thought about her pots- She was wailing for something, but she had patience.

    At last, the newspaper brought good news. A hardware store had a sale on potting soil. Rosa carefully counted her money, then walked six blocks to the store. She bought six bags and carried them home. She bought seeds, too. Rosa slept well that night and dreamed of masses of flowers and fat, glowing fruits,

    Sundays were always good days. Rosa didn't have to work on Sundays. But Rosa couldn't remember when she had had such a good Sunday. She got up early and ate her breakfast on the fire escape with her pots. Then, she began to put dirt into the pots. She sang a little song until all six of her bags of soil were empty. Then, she laid her precious seed packets out and planned her garden. Tomatoes for the biggest pots, and peppers for the next-biggest ones. Flowers in all the rest.

    At the end of the day, Rosa sat in her garden and watched the sunset. Soon, she thought, there will be masses of flowers and fat, glowing fruits.

Hobbies Help Cure Addiction to the Internet

    While some parents have expressed concerns about the amount of time their children spent surfing the Internet during the summer break from school, it wasn't a problem for Yin Qiming.

    Instead, the 37-year-old Shanghai resident and his daughter divided their vacation between cyberspace and the 8-year-old's other interests.

    “My daughter has many hobbies and I and her mother respect her choices, so we accompany her to classes she enjoys, such as learning to play the drums and drawing,” he said.

    “She loves to play outside with her friends, so she doesn't think the Internet is a must-have thing in her life.”

    Yin added that he rarely imposes a time limit on his daughter's online activity.

    “She sometimes uses WeChat (a popular instant-messaging tool) on my mobile phone, but only to contact her mother,” he said. “Once she has her own plans every day and realizes that the internet is just a part of life, she won't become addicted to it.”

    Li Lin, a primary school teacher from Liaoning province, expressed a similar opinion.

    “We do some homework online, including reciting stories, and the children use the Internet frequently every day of their lives,” she said, noting that the children's online activity is limited to 30 minutes a day at school.

    “We should make better use of the Internet to provide children with more knowledge and help them to grow up,” said Li, who has a 10-year-old son.

    The key to preventing children, especially those at primary and middle schools, from becoming addicted to the Internet is to limit the time they spend online and to ensure that they know cyberspace cannot replace traditional forms of communication, she said.

    Mao Feizhu, a psychologist from Fujian province in southeast China, said people overestimate the influence of the internet.

    “Many people, even some parents, believe the Internet plays a big role in our daily lives, and many things can be completed online, but that's not completely right,” she said.

    “We can use social applications to talk or play basketball games, and even share what we are thinking about, but sometimes it's impossible for our emotions to be accurately reflected in this way. What children need is emotional communication and real physical exercise. After all, love cannot be bought on the net,” she said.

    Perhaps, the best way to stop young netizens spending too much time online is to encourage their other interests but also accompany them when they go online: “We should use the Internet, not become its slaves.

    Children often suffer pain and insecurity when their parents separate.When my ex-husband and I split up after 10 years of marriage,our daughter was 5 years old and my son only 3.We decided to consult a psychologist about the best way to explain this new situation to the children.

    She shared with us this special story about a land turtle and a sea turtle,which we then used to help them better comprehend. Once upon a time,a land turtle (Mommy) met a sea turtle (Daddy) close to a beautiful shore.Soon they fell deeply in love and decided to get married.For a time,they continued to live at the water's edge so that Mommy could sit on the sand and keep dry and warm,while Daddy sat in the shallow water to keep cool.A few years later two baby turtles arrived (you both!).They were very special indeed and looked a little like each of their parents.

    But as the years went by,Daddy sea turtle started spending more and more time in the ocean as he traveled deeper and deeper to look for pearls.Mommy land turtle also started wandering up into the sands to hunt for food in the woods.Little by little,Daddy and Mommy turtle started to drift further and further apart.Finally one day,Mommy and Daddy turtle decided they didn't want to live together anymore.The little turtles continued to spend time with each of their parents.They made lots of friends with all the fish,dolphins and whales in the ocean and also many friends with the rabbits,deer,and foxes in the woods.In fact they grew up to be a new kind of turtle that could live both in the ocean and on the land.

    Over the years,this tale of the land and sea turtle has helped my children cope with and accept the fact that my marriage to their father was over.They know that we once loved each other very much and they were born out of true love.

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