What is “Dads Make a Difference”?

    A service-learning opportunity for teens that deals with fatherhood, parenting, and so on.

    Older teens, grades 10—12, teach younger teens, grades 6—9, about the importance of fathers in children's lives, the legal and financial responsibilities of parenting.

Teen teacher training goals & objectives

    The goal of the teen teacher training is to better understand the complex problems surrounding legal fatherhood in our society. By discussing what makes healthy families, explaining the meaning of paternity（父亲的身份）, and examining the risks people take in their lives, teens will develop the skills needed to make informed decisions in their own relationships and, finally, teach this information to others.

What's in it for me?

An opportunity to:

Learn life skills like communication, decision making, and problem solving.

    Get the chance to use knowledge in meaningful and effective ways.

    Develop leadership, planning, teamwork, time management, and organizational skills to help you in every aspect of your life.

    Forming lasting relationships with adult mentors（导师）.

Comments from teen teachers

    “ 'Dads Make a Difference' made me realize how permanent and expensive parenthood is.”

    “Speaking in form of groups and directing people in activities, I feel, is a valuable skill to have that I will use throughout my life.”

    “I wish I would have gone through this program when I was in Junior High. I know it would have helped me to really think about the future and to make good decisions.”

    “ 'Dads Make a Difference' has helped me to know the effects of my actions before I take them and I know what risks not to take to protect my future.”

    A girl became a volunteer in the activities of Deathbed Care, which meant visiting and taking care of a patient suffering from an incurable disease with days numbered.

    The girl was assigned to look after an old man suffering from cancer whose children lived abroad. Their living conditions were not satisfactory while the old man had a lot of savings. She was expected to comfort him and keep up his spirits.

    Every Saturday the girl came on time to keep him company, telling him stories. When he was having an intravenous drip (静脉滴注), she would help massage his arms. The doctor found the patient much improved mentally. The old man began to involve himself actively in the medical treatment and he seldom shouted at others.

    But something that happened made the doctor uneasy and puzzled. Each time the girl left, the old man would give her some money. The doctor did nothing to interfere (干涉), unwilling to offend the old man. A month later the old man showed evident signs of decline after suffering coma (昏迷) a few times.

    When rescued from the latest coma, the old man told the doctor his last wish, “I have deep sympathy for the girl. Will you be kind enough to help her finish her studies？”

    But the doctor knew that her family was well­off and she had no difficulty pursuing her studies.  Sometimes she even came to the hospital in her father's car.

    When the girl came at the weekend after the death of the old man, the doctor told her the bad news. She was very sad and burst into tears. Then she handed $ 500 to the doctor, saying, “The old man had all along thought I came to do the job because of poverty. He gave me money so that I could continue my schooling.” Now he got the answer to the puzzle. In the last period of his life, the old man found it a real pleasure to be able to help a girl badly in need.

    It was warm for a Sunday afternoon in early January. Kevin loved being outdoors among the wild rosebushes in front of his house with a view of distant mountains.

    It had been a good day for his wife, Sharon, too. They spent the morning in front of the house, talking and drinking tea. Sharon felt strong and tried her best to cook, starting a pot of homemade soup — a task that would have been nothing a few years ago, but is a little hard for her now. Her illness had left her weak, often puzzled.

    Sharon was the take-charge person in the family. She was seldom sick until 1997, when she began suffering from terrible headaches. One day at work, colleagues said she didn't look right and urged(敦促) her to go to the hospital. She rose from her chair and fell over. She could hear voices, but couldn't speak. It looked as if she'd had a stroke(中风).

    Other stroke-like symptoms (症状) followed. She had difficulty walking. She ran a fever all the time. The headaches never stopped. She and Kevin spent all their savings seeing doctors and on medical tests.

    In 2000, physicians said Sharon had brain damage that left her with symptoms resembling dementia (痴呆症). Once, she visited a familiar store and couldn't remember where the exit was. Another time, she was making spaghetti, but didn't know what to do after the water boiled.

    After seeing specialists, Kevin and Sharon came to believe that exposure(接触) to mould(霉菌) had caused Sharon's condition. Her world was certainly getting worse. At times she needed a wheelchair. The woman who never liked asking for help had to stay at home and rely on her husband.

    Parents can cut the chances of their children getting fat simply by keeping them longer at table. Just three minutes extra at a family mealtime could help prevent child obesity. Research found that among poor families, the extra minutes at mealtimes made great improvement of a normal weight for the youth. The factors are likely to be communication and the importance of a scheduled mealtime.

    Dr Barbara Fiese said, “Children, whose families have a 20-minute meal over four times a week, weigh less than kids who leave the table after 15 to 17 minutes. Over time, those extra minutes per meal add up and become really powerful.”

    The researchers studied 200 family mealtimes, testing the effects of factors and mealtime behavior of families with children in primary school. They found that families, who said that shared mealtimes were an important part of family life and had special meaning for them, were less likely to have an obese child. Similarly, families, who talked more together and interacted more positively during the meal, were more likely to have healthy-weight children.

    Teaching low-income families how to make the most of family mealtimes was a wise idea. Dr Fiese said, “This is something we can target and teach.” She added, “It's also important to recognize the increasing differences of families and their sometimes complex living arrangements that may challenge their abilities to plan ahead and arrange a single time to communicate with each other.”

    Families in poorer US neighborhoods faced a lot of problems, including poor access to healthy food. But even so, regular high quality family mealtimes made a difference to the children's weight. Dr Fiese said, “Three to four extra minutes per meal will make a healthy weight more possible.”

    There are several ways from which to choose for you to keep your kids safe in your neighborhood. But the first step to keep your child safe in your neighborhood is to know your neighbors.

    Knowing your neighbors can save you a lot of worry. It lets you know that the car that has just driven down the street belongs to “the yellow house on the corner”, or the truck that has just driven by the playground looks unfamiliar, but the guy in the passenger seat resides two doors down. It's these simple things that keep you from going out of your mind whenever you see someone driving by where children are playing.

    But you shouldn't just know what they look like. The next step is to know them well. What do they do? How do they act? You might be OK with them driving by the playground since they live in the neighborhood, but are you OK with them being on the playground? Knowing your neighbors solves several things. First you find out what kind of people they are. This helps you know if you should let your child go out in an area where they gather. Let us face it: you do not want your child to play around people or people's children that curse (咒骂) or hit each other. Sometimes you have to protect your child against your own neighbors.

    Knowing them also makes them know you. Being neighbors is an interesting thing. You might not like them or have the same views as them, but we all usually protect those that we consider our own. If you know your neighbors, they know you. They are more likely to look after the child of the nice lady down the street in the brick (砖) house, than the people, in the house on the corner, who no one ever sees.