Making and Keeping Friends Is More than Child's Play

    When 6-year­-old Rachel returned to school on a recent Monday morning, her eyes immediately scanned the playground for her friend Abbie. “Though they were only separated by a weekend, the girls ran right into each other's arms and hugged,” recalls Rachel's mother Kathryn Willis of Gilbert. “It was like a scene from a movie.”

    Most parents instinctively (本能地) know that having friends is good for their child. Experts agree that friendship isnot simply child's play, but a powerful predictor of social adjustment throughout life.

A Skill for Life

  “Childhood friendships serve as a very important training ground for adulthood,” says Dr. Robbie Adler­Tapia, psychologist with the Center for Children's Health & Life Development at the East Valley Family Resource Center.

    Researcher William Hartup states,“Peerrelations contribute significantly to both social and cognitive (认知的) development.” Hartup concludes that the single best childhood predictor of adult social adaptation is not school grades or classroom behavior, butrather, how well a child gets along with other children.

    The work of Arizona State University professor of Developmental Psychology Gary Ladd proves that just as being ableto make and keep friends is beneficial to kids while the lack of friends is detrimental.

Good Friendships Don't Just Happen

    Experts agree that it is essential forchildren to establish high­quality friendships. But, researchers warn, these friendships don't necessarily just happen. Often, a good friendship begins with involvedparents.

    Psychologist Dr. Lynne Kenney Markan believes kids should be taught social skills in much the same way they are taught math and reading.

Bad Company

Many parents worry about the quality aswell as the quantity of their child's friendships. “When she was in 1st grade, her supposed ‘best friend' began calling her names and threatening to hurt her,”says Mindy Miller. “My daughter wasn't allowed to talk to or even look at other girls in her class. It really crushed her spirit. I told my daughter she didn't need a ‘friend' like that.”

    “I'll bend over backwards(拼命) to help my son get together with a friend I think is good for him,” Adler­ Tapiasays. “I don't look at it as manipulation (操纵)，just positive parental involvement.”

    A lady in a faded grey dress and her husband, walked into the Harvard University president's outer office.

    "We want to see the president,"the man said softly.

    The president met with the couple.

    The lady told him, "We had a son who attended Harvard for one year. He love Harvard. He was happy here. But about a year ago, he was accidentally killed. We would like to build a memorial（纪念物）to him, somewhere on campus."

    The president was not touched. "Madam, we can not put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and died."

    "Oh, no," the lady explained. "We do not want a statue. We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard."

    The president rolled his eyes, "A building! Do you have any idea how much a building costs?"

    For a moment the lady was silent. Then she turned to her husband and said quietly, "How much does it cost to start a university? Why do not we just start our own?"

    Her husband nodded.

    Mr. And Mrs. Stanford got up and walked away, travelling to California where they established Stanford   University's memorial to their son.

    There were no people on the park bench as I sat down to read beneath the branches of an old willow tree, with good reasons to sigh, for the world was dragging me down. At this time, a boy approached me. He stood right before me, and said with great excitement, “Look what I found!”

    In his hand was a flower, and what a pitiful sight, with its petals (花瓣) all worn. Wanting him to take his flower and go off to play, I managed a smile and then turned to the other side.

    But instead of leaving, he sat next to my side and placed the flower to his nose and said firmly and clearly, “It really smells pretty and it's beautiful, too. That's why I picked it. Here it's for you.”

    The flower before me was dying or dead. But I knew I must take it, or he might never leave. So I reached for the flower, and replied, “Just what I need.”

    But instead of placing the flower in my hand, he held it in mid-air. It was then that I noticed that the boy was blind.

    I heard my voice quiver (轻微颤抖), and at the same time my tears shone like the sun. As I thanked him for picking the very best one, he smiled and said, “You're welcome.”

    And then he ran off to play, not knowing the influence he'd had on me.

    I sat there and wondered how he managed to see a self-pitying woman beneath an old willow tree. Perhaps from his heart, he'd been blessed with true sight.

    Through the eyes of the blind boy, I could see the problem was not with the world; the problem was me. And for all of those times I had been blind. From now on, I promised to see beauty and appreciate every second. Then I held the flower up to my nose and breathed its fragrance and smiled as that young boy.

    What's it like to become a music star with millions of fans? These young artists know the feeling. Over the course of their short careers, they have attracted the attention of the biggest stars in the world and taken home prizes from major shows. For now they're just kids that everyone in music is watching. Check out the next generation of stars below.

    FIFTH HARMONY

    The 1990s was a brilliant period for girl groups. But after that few groups have been able to make much of an influence. This doesn't seem to bother Fifth Harmony, who landed the biggest hit of their career in 2016 with "Work from Home", a pop song that encourages everyone to ask for leave more often. When it climbed to No.4 on the Billboard Hot100, it was the first time that a girl group had entered the top 5 in the past ten years.

    LORDE

    It's been four years since the release of Born Heroine — the hot selling CD that made her a 16-year-old global sensation and the spokeswoman for a new generation of smart, strong-minded, creative female pop artists. She contributed to The Hunger Games soundtrack (插曲) in 2014, and for this time setting foot in Hollywood production also brought her more opportunities in her following career.

    TROYE SIVAN

    You might recognize the rising star Troye Sivan from YouTube, where he's been uploading videos since he was 12 and his channel already has millions of fans, or from the movies, where he played the role of young Wolverine in X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

    If you're encouraged by the tiny house movement and think 160 square feet is just enough for your needs, you may want to contact the Academy of Construction and Design (ACAD) at IDEA Public Charter School in northeast Washington.

    Students in the program built a micro house with a kitchen, a bathroom, a sleeping loft with space for a queen-size bed and a storage loft, all set on a trailer for mobility. The exterior (外部) of the house was part of a continuous living exhibit in 2015and was moved to the IDEA campus so students could work with builders to complete the interior earlier this year.

    McMahon said the D.C. government's approval to push companies to hire District residents (居民) was at odds with the school system not preparing students for careers in construction, exploring or electrical work. McMahon gathered industry and community leaders to establish ACAD in 2005 and he said 100 percent of the companies he contacted responded positively to the idea, including major firms such as JBG, Clark Construction, Hines Construction and Boston Properties.

    "When students make the connection between what they are learning and a potential career, their academics improve dramatically," said Carol Randolph, chief operating officer of the D.C. Students Construction Trades Foundation. "Some of them who didn't think college was an choice now have a better chance because their classes have become relevant to a job."

    "We teach them life skills and explain that even if you start as a laborer, there are opportunities to move up quickly," he said. "We rewrite the story for them and explain that they can work for a few years, make good money, get promoted, and start their own business or go to school with less debts."

    "Parents and school advisors can be the biggest obstacles because of the negative idea of construction as a blue-collar career," Karriem said. "I get middle-school advisors on board to talk about the opportunities this education provides. These kids are learning lifelong skills that can help them in other fields, provide them with income and allow them to take care of their homes."

    I travel a lot, and I find out different "styles"(风格）of directions every time I ask "How can I get to the post office?"

    Foreign tourists(游客) are often confused(困惑)in Japan because most streets there don't have names; in Japan, people use landmarks(地标)in their directions instead of street names. For example, the Japanese will say to travelers, "Go straight down to the corner. Turn left at the big hotel and go past a fruit market. The post office is across from the bus stop."

    In the countryside of the American Midwest, there are not usually many landmarks. There are no mountains, so the land is very flat; in many places there are no towns or buildings within miles. Instead of landmarks, people will tell you directions and distances. In Kansas or Iowa, for example, people will say, "Go north two miles. Turn east, and then go another mile."

    People in Los Angeles , California, have no idea of distance on the map; they measure(度量) distance in time, not miles. "How far away is the post office?" you ask. "Oh," they answer, "it' is about five minutes from here." You say, "Yes, but how many miles away is it ?"They don't know.

    It's true that a person doesn't know the answer to your question sometimes. What happens in such a situation? A New Yorker might say, "Sorry, I have no idea." But in Yucatan, Mexico, no one answers "I don't know." People in Yucatan believe that "I don't know" is impolite. They usually give an answer, often a wrong one. A tourist can get very, very lost in Yucatan!