It's generally believed that people act the way they do because of their personalities and attitudes. They recycle their garbage because they care about the environment. They pay $5 for a caramel brulee latte because they like expensive coffee drinks.

    It's undeniable that behavior comes from our inner dispositions（性情）, but in many instances we also draw inferences about who we are, as suggested by the social psychologist Daryl Bern, by observing our own behavior. We can be strangers to ourselves. If we knew our own minds, why should we need to guess what our preferences are from our behavior? If our minds were an open book, we would know exactly how much we care about the environment or like lattes. Actually, we often need to look to our behavior to figure out who we are.

Moreover, we don't just use our behavior to learn about our particular types of character — we infer characters that weren't there before. Our behavior is often shaped by little pressures around us, which we fail to recognize. Maybe we recycle because our wives and neighbors would disapprove if we didn't. Maybe we buy lattes in order to impress the people around us. We should not mistakenly believe that we always behave as a result of some inner disposition.

Whatever pressures there can be or inferences one can make, people become what they do, though it may not be in compliance（符合）with their true desires. Therefore, we should all bear in mind Kurt Vonnegut's advice: “We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”

    Have you ever run into a careless cell phone user on the street? Perhaps they were busy talking, texting or checking updates on WeChat without looking at what was going on around them. As the number of this new “species” of human has kept rising, they have been given a new name—phubbers（低头族）.

    Recently, a cartoon created by students from China Central Academy of Fine Arts put this group of people under the spotlight. In the short film, phubbers with various social identities(身份) bury themselves in their phones. A doctor plays with his cell phone while letting his patient die, a pretty woman takes selfie in front of a car accident site, and a father loses his child without knowing about it while using his mobile phone. A chain of similar events eventually leads to the destruction of the world.

    Although the ending sounds overstated, the damage phubbing can bring is real.

    Your health is the first to bear the effect and result of it. “Constantly bending your head to check your cell phone could damage your neck,” Guangming Daily quoted doctors as saying. “the neck is like a rope that breaks after long-term stretching.” Also, staring at cell phones for long periods of time will damage your eyesight gradually, according to the report.

    But that's not all. Being a phubber could also damage your social skills and drive you away from your friends and family. At reunions with family or friends, many people tend to stick to their cell phones while others are chatting happily with each other and this creates a strange atmosphere, Qilu Evening News reported.

    It can also cost you your life. There have been lots of reports on phubbers who fell to their death, suffered accidents, and were robbed of their cell phones in broad daylight.

    Linda Eveans was my best friend—like the sister I never had. We did everything together: piano lesson, movies, swimming, and horseback riding.

    When I was 13, my family moved away, Linda and I kept in touch through letters， and we saw each other on special times, like my wedding and Linda's. Soon we were busy with children and moving to new homes, and we wrote less often. One day a card that I sent came back, stamped "Address Unknown". I had no idea about how to find Linda.

    Over the years, I missed Linda very much, I wanted to share happiness of my children and then grandchildren, And I needed to share my sadness when my brother and then mother died, There was an empty place in my heart that only a friend like Linda could fill.

    One day, I was reading a newspaper when I noticed a photo of a young woman who looked very much like Linda and whose last name was Wagman—Linda's married name. "There must be thousands of Wagmans." I thought, but I still wrote to her.

    She called as soon as she got my letter, "Mrs, Tobin!" she said excitedly, "Linda Evans Wagman is my mother." Minutes later I heard a voice that I recognized at once, even after 40 years. We laughed and cried and caught up on each other's lives. Now the empty place in my heart is filled. And there's one thing that Linda and I know for sure: we won't lose each other again!

    China dropped its decades-long, one-child policy last year to allow each family to have two children. This change has put 270 million married women of childbearing age in the position of choosing between family and work. The employers also face big challenges as more female workers will have two maternity leaves(产假) for a total of seven to eight months.

    In a survey published by classified advertising website Ganji.com, career women who might be considering having a second child were asked what kinds of pressure they might expect. More than 76 percent of the women who were questioned mentioned concerns about the financial burden of raising two children, while more than 71 percent said it would be difficult to balance career and family. In addition, nearly 56 percent said that having a second child would definitely have a negative effect on their career.

    Another survey conducted by Chongqing-based human resources website job.cq.qq.com found that over 70 percent of job seekers believe that having a second child would make females less popular in the job market, although two-thirds of the employers said the policy will make no difference in their employment of staff.

    Feng Lijuan, s senior expert on human resources at 51 job.com, a leading Chinese job finding platform, said she would not say “there is prejudice against career women.” Feng said Chinese women shoulder more family responsibility. “It is not only about maternity leave; a female employee might only fully get back to work after three to five years after having her first child.”

    Wang Yixin, a senior employment adviser, said the positive side is that more companies are trying to attract more talents by providing support to career women. “Different from before, it is not only employers choosing employees. Many talents, including professional career women, also choose employers.” said Wang. “According to our survey, many large companies are very open to their employees' choice of having a second child.”

    Many years ago, there lived a poor fisherman. His only companion was his dog. They might be seen walking on the white sandy beach.

    The dog was always beside his master as the fisherman made his little boat ready to sail. When the man pulled out to sea each morning, the dog would run up on the high ridge (山岭). There he would sit and watch all day. The dog never moved until late afternoon when he saw the little boat return. Then he would race back to the shore to greet his master.

    As the years went by, the fisherman grew older. So did the faithful dog. The fisherman still went out to sea. The dog still watched for his return, sitting on the high ridge.

    One early morning in September, the fisherman was getting his little boat ready. All at once the dog began to bark. He circled around the fisherman and tugged at his trousers. The fisherman could not remember when he had seen his dog act so strangely. He patted the dog's back, thinking the dog wanted to play. But nothing made any difference. Then the man climbed into the boat and sailed away. The dog went to his watching place, still barking.

    There were other fishing boats out that morning. Suddenly the soft wind changed. It began to blow wildly. The fisherman's boat was seized by the wind and whirled around (随风旋转) .The sky darkened. Rain began to fall.

    "It's a hurricane!" said the fisherman." The man thought of his dog at once. Had the dog left the ridge and run home? Or was he still sitting there? The fisherman tried to drive his boat and turn it toward the shore. Suddenly a great wave swept over his head and tossed the boat away (卷走).

    The next morning, the hurricane was over. The families of the other fishermen ran to the shore. They watched for the return of the boats. They waited and waited, but no one returned. Then the people went slowly back to their homes and started a new life. As they rebuilt their village, no one gave a thought to the fisherman's dog.

    Several months later a group of villagers was out gathering sea grapes (海葡萄). They noticed what appeared to be the figure of a dog sitting high on the ridge.

    "Look" said one." Isn't that the old fisherman's dog?"

    "How could it be, after all this time?" said another.

    When the man reached the spot, he found only a rock—a rock shaped like a dog. But as soon as the people looked up again, they saw the stone dog. He just sat there on top of the ridge, waiting, waiting…

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