It may not be as easy as you think to build a foundation for your child of family values. Often we believe that our child will pick up on our values if they live in the same home. While they may pick up many of our values, parents need to remember they are not the only influence in their child's life. These outside values often compete with family values for your child's attention. If we do not make a conscious effort to instill our values into our children, they may not get instilled at all.

    I wish I had learned that lesson a little earlier. I thought if I lived my values for my children they would pick them up and make their own. Sometimes this happened and sometimes it didn't. I often see twenty-something “kids” who have no faith in many of the values of their family in favor of the values of their friends. Children will often pick up the negative you show quicker than the positive, so the positive things need extra focus to set them.

    Some of the influences your children face every day include their church, their school, their friends, any clubs or sporting groups they are part of and more. Kids spend many hours a day at school and with their friends. Sometimes in the business of life, we suppose our children will obtain that foundation we want for them.

    Instilling a foundation of family values to sustain(维持) your child requires more than living it in front of them. That is important, but building up your child with this important foundation must become intentional.

    That means we plan times to gather as a family. We plan activities together that show the values we want to pass on. We talk about our values; we live our values; we discuss the values of others and how they differ from ours; we constantly look for opportunities and make our own opportunities to share these values in word or deed with our children.

    Family values give our children a foundation to build upon. It helps them know they are loved and gives them a sense of belongings. Upon this sure foundation, they can spread their wings and grow to become parents who share these same values with their own children.

    Feeling sad is an important part of human nature.

    Jerome Wakefield, a professor at New York University, mentions that feeling down after your heart is broken is normal and may even be beneficial. Recently, Wakefield's students have been coming up to him because their parents are pressuring them to get help for their sadness; often the kids want no part of it. Rather than “listen to medicine,” they want to listen to their hearts. He believes these students' reaction represents an important part of human nature.

    Professor Diener, who has studied happiness for a quarter century, finds that the Scots and many other peoples like being sad, and don't appreciate being told they should be happier. “They say too much happiness might not be such a good thing, no matter where it comes from,” says Diener. He believes it's wrong for the “happiness industry” to send the message that not only can we all be happier, but we have a duty to be so. He argues that what is considered normal sadness is something we shouldn't avoid.

    Eric Wilson, a professor at Wake Forest University, made every effort to smooth out his habitual frown and wear a sunny smile, since a happy expression can lead to happy feelings. He even tried to be enthusiastic. When neither of these made him happy, he concluded that such a happiness movement was no good for him at all. Americans, love for happiness, he writes, creates an environment where sadness is not valued.

    These researchers believe the problem of continuous, extreme happiness should not be surprising, since negative emotions developed for a reason. Fear warns us against the presence of danger, for instance. Sadness, too, seems to be part of our DNA: monkeys, dogs and elephants all display something that looks like sadness. Being “up” all the time can cause you to play down very real threats.

    They believe that only by experiencing sadness can we experience the fullness of the human condition. Their studies show that when you are in a negative frame of mind, you become more logical and more creative. Abraham Lincoln was not limited by his dark moods, and Beethoven composed his later works in a sad state. Vincent van Gogh, Emily Dickinson and other artistic giants saw the world through a glass darkly.

    People who are somewhat unhappy are more motivated to improve both their own lot and the lot of their community. In contrast, people at the top of the happiness charts feel no such urgency. “If you're totally satisfied with your life,” says Diener, “you don't feel like working for change. Be careful when people tell you that you should be happier.”

    Two years ago, something happened that changed the way I look at the world. On my birthday, my grandfather, walking home with his hands full of groceries, fell and hit his head on the sidewalk. Just as we were leaving to meet him for dinner, we got the call that he was in the hospital. At first, I thought nothing of it, but when I heard the whole story, I couldn't believe it. He hit his head so hard that he had a blood clot in his brain and it had to be operated on immediately. Everyone thought he would die.

    Although my grandfather survived emergency brain surgery, he had complications (后遗症). He could hardly talk and he couldn't walk. Shortly after, he was admitted to a nursing home. Today, he lives at home with my grandmother and is doing much better, but this isn't about him. It's about what I saw at that nursing home.

    I saw something that many people haven't seen, and some do often choose to ignore it, I saw more sadness in those days visiting the nursing home than I thought. In that one place were hundreds of old people who were alone and forgotten.

    So what as to be done with the situation of the old? This is not an easy question, but something must be done. Perhaps groups in the community could assign each member to one nursing home patient with whom they could keep in regular contact. Maybe a school could focus on a nursing home and send cards, pictures and letters to residents. If periodic visits were arranged, I'm sure that for some, if not many, those students would be the only visitors they had all month. These are just a few ideas; we all need to work together.

    I hope everyone to tour a local nursing home I further expect you to do something about it. You'll brighten someone's day, or maybe even his or her life.

    The goings-on in the consulting room have become more transparent (透明的) recently. Thank goodness. We know more than the lines supplied by the movies in which the therapist knows all and gives wisdom to those who, sitting on a couch, consult with them. Therapists are interested in how the individual, the couple or the family experiences and understands their difficulties. That has to be a starting place. We can be of value if our first port of call is to listen, to gradually feel ourselves into the shoes of the other, to absorb the feelings that are being conveyed and to think and then to say some words.

    The thinking and talking that I do inside the consulting room is at odds with many features of ordinary conversation. Not that it is mysterious, but it isn't concerned with traditional ways of sharing or identifying. The therapist makes patterns and theorizes, but they are also reflecting on the words that are spoken, how they are delivered and how the words, once spoken, affect the speaker and the therapist themselves.

    Words can give voice to previously unknown feelings and thoughts. That's why it's called the talking cure. But just as words reveal so, too, can they obscure, and this gets us to the listening and feeling part of the therapy. Whatever and however the words are delivered, they will have an impact on me as a therapist. I might feel hopeless, I might feel energized, I might feel pushed away, I might feel demanded of, I might feel pulled to find solutions.

    The influence of the other is what makes any relationship possible or impossible. A therapist is trained to reflect on how those who consult with them affect them. As I try to step into the shoes of the other and then out again, my effort is to hold both those experiences, plus an awareness of my ease or discomfort with what I encounter in the relationship.

    Feelings are the bread and butter of our work in the consulting room. They inform or modify our ideas and they enable us to find an emotional bridge to what can so hurt for the people we are working with. Along with the more commonly thought-about theories and ideas we have about the psyche, they are an essential part of the therapist's toolkit, certainly for me. The talking cure means talking, yes. It also means the therapist is listening, thinking and feeling.

    Mention the word superhero, and the images that come to mind are of fictional characters like Spiderman, Wonder Woman, or Batman. However, photographer Josh Rossi has used his camera to show the world's real superheroes — young children who are battling severe diseases and disabilities.

    The event leading to the creative project began in 2016, when Rossi fulfilled his then three­year­old daughter's dream of becoming Wonder Woman. Thanks to the handmade costume and Rossi's impressive Photoshop skills, the photoshoot instantly became a hit.

    Since it was Wonder Woman that brought about the idea, Rossi decided to focus on the superheroes that will appear alongside her in the upcoming movie, Justice League. To make the photo shoot more meaningful to the kids, he matched each child with a superhero with whom they had the most in common.

    The first member of the real­life "Justice League" was Kayden Kinckle. The five­year­old uses prosthetics (假肢) to walk because both his legs had to be cut off due to a born disorder. To Rossi, Kayden's perfect superhero was Cyborg, who was a healthy boy before a terrible accident left him injured, forcing his father to keep him alive with robotic parts.

    Teagan Pettit was born with only half a heart and has already gone through three open­heart surgeries. According to Rossi, the nine­year­old fits the bill for Superman because they both have a weak heart. The fictional superhero grows weak when near Kryptonite (氪), while Teagen's half heart is too weak to control his body temperature. The photographer says, "Superman and Teagan both have hearts of steel!"

Thanksgiving Day is special holiday in the United States and Canada. Families and friends gather to eat and give thanks for their blessing.

Thanksgiving Day is really a harvest festival. This is why it is celebrated in late fall, after the crops are in. But one of the first thanksgivings in America had nothing to do with a good harvest. On December 4, 1619, the Pilgrims (清教徒) from England landed near what is now Charles City, Virginia. They knelt down and thanked God for their safe journey across the Atlantic.

The first New England Thanksgiving did celebrate a rich harvest. The Pilgrims landed at what is now Plymouth, Massachusetts, in 1620. They had a difficult time and the first winter was cruel. Many of the Pilgrims died. But the next year, they had a good harvest. So Governor Bradford declared a three­day feast. The Pilgrims invited Indian friends to join them for their special feast. Everyone brought food.

In time, other colonies (殖民地) began to celebrate a day of thanksgiving. But it took years before there was a national Thanksgiving Day. During the Civil War, Sarah Josepha Hale persuaded Abraham Lincoln to do something about it. He proclaimed (宣布) the last Thursday of November 1863 as a day of thanksgiving. Today, Americans celebrate this happy harvest festival on the fourth Thursday in November. Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving Day in much the same way as their American neighbours. But the Canadian Thanksgiving Day falls on the second Monday in October.