Two of the saddest words in the English language are “if only”. I live my life with the goal of never having to say those words, because they convey regret, lost opportunities, mistakes, and disappointment.

    My father is famous in our family for saying, “Take the extra minute to do it right.” I always try to live by the “extra minute” rule. When my children were young and likely to cause accidents, I always thought about what I could do to avoid an “if only” moment, whether it was something minor like moving a cup full of hot coffee away from the edge of a counter, or something that required a little more work such as taping padding (衬垫) onto the sharp corners of a glass coffee table.

    I don't only avoid those “if only” moments when it comes to safety. It's equally important to avoid “if only” in our personal relationships. We all know people who lost a loved one and regretted that they had foregone an opportunity to say “I love you” or “I forgive you.” When my father announced he was going to the eye doctor across from my office on Good Friday, I told him that it was a holiday for my company and I wouldn't be here. But then I thought about the fact that he's 84 years old and I realized that I shouldn't give up an opportunity to see him. I called him and told him I had decided to go to work on my day off after all.

    I know there will still be occasions when I have to say “if only” about something, but my life is definitely better because of my policy of doing everything possible to avoid that eventuality. And even though it takes an extra minute to do something right, or it occasionally takes an hour or two in my busy schedule to make a personal connection, I know that I'm doing the right thing. I'm buying myself peace of mind and that's the best kind of insurance for my emotional well-being.

    Two of the saddest words in the English language are if only. I live my life with the goal of never having to say those words, because they convey regret, lost opportunities, mistakes, and disappointment.

    My father is famous in our family for saying, “Take the extra minute to do it right.” I always try to live by the “extra minute” rule. When my children were young and likely to cause accidents, I always thought about what I could do to avoid an “if only” moment, whether it was something minor like moving a cup full of hot coffee away from the edge of a counter, or something that required a little more work such as taping padding (衬垫) onto the sharp corners of a glass coffee table.

    I don't only avoid those “if only” moments when it comes to safety. It's equally important to avoid “if only” in our personal relationships. We all know people who lost a loved one and regretted that they had foregone an opportunity to say “I love you” or “I forgive you.” When my father announced he was going to the eye doctor across from my office on Good Friday, I told him that it was a holiday for my company and I wouldn't be here. But then I thought about the fact that he's 84 years old and I realized that I shouldn't give up an opportunity to see him. I called him and told him I had decided to go to work on my day off after all.

    I know there will still be occasions when I have to say if only about something, but my life is definitely better because of my policy of doing everything possible to avoid that eventuality. And even though it takes an extra minute to do something right, or it occasionally takes an hour or two in my busy schedule to make a personal connection, I know that I'm doing the right thing. I'm buying myself peace of mind and that's the best kind of insurance for my emotional well-being.

    I was at a dinner in London given in honor of one of the most celebrated English military (军事的)men of his time. I do not want to tell you his real name and titles. I will just call him Lieutenant General Lord Arthur Scoresby.

    I cannot describe my excitement when I saw this great and famous man. There he sat, the man himself, in person, all covered with medals. I could not take my eyes off him. He seemed to show the true mark of greatness. His fame had no effect on him. The hundreds of eyes watching him, the admiration of so many people, did not seem to make any difference to him.

    Next to me sat a clergyman(牧师), who was an old friend of mine. He was not always a clergyman. During the first half of his life he was a teacher in the military school at Woolwich. There was a strange look in his eye as he turned to me and said in a low voice-"privately-he is a complete fool." He meant, of course, the hero of our dinner.

    This came as a shock to me. I looked hard at my friend. I could not have been more surprised if he had said the same thing about Napoleon, or Socrates, or Solomon. But I was sure of two things about the clergyman. He always spoke the truth. And, his judgment of men was good. Therefore, I wanted to find out more about our hero as soon as I could.

    Some days later I got a chance to talk with the clergyman, and he told me more.

    When her classmates were having a good time, Molly sat at the picnic table alone. She remained awkward around her classmates. She seemed unsure of what to do or say, yet I could see her eyes longing for acceptance. Many students had already decided that her friendship would not be worth the energy required to overcome the awkwardness. Others teased her. Most ignored her except for one.

    Brianna, the class clown, was making the other students laugh, as usual. “Brianna, do you see Molly down there? Would you mind walking down there and inviting her to come up here with the rest of us?”

    Brianna sighed. I could tell she didn't want to sacrifice precious minutes of her own recess (休息) to do what I was asking of her, but I also knew her heart. She often thought of others before herself— a rare character for anyone, much less a kid.

    Knowing this choice was hard for her, I reached into my pocket and pulled out a D-buck, our class currency. Though bribery (行贿) was not the ideal way to handle this situation, I needed her cooperation.

    “Here, I'll pay you for your time.”

    She offered an insincere smile, grasped the green paper, and headed down the hill.

    As the rest of the children screamed and laughed, my eyes locked on Brianna as she neared the picnic table. Molly could be difficult, and I wouldn't have been surprised if she sent Brianna back alone, refusing her invitation. When she encouraged herself to a standing position, I sighed with relief.

    A minute later, I felt a tap on my shoulder. “Here, Mrs. D.” She handed me the D-buck.

    “Why?” I asked.

    “I shouldn't keep this,” Her eyes fell to her feet, guilt radiating from her quiet voice. “I don't want Molly to think I only went to get her so I could earn a D-buck. She's my friend.”

    A moment later, they were all laughing again, and who should I see among them, laughing for the first time that week? Molly.

    Welcome to Holker Hall & Gardens

    Visitor Information

    How to Get to Holker

    By Car: Follow brown signs on A590 from J36, M6. Approximate travel times: Windermere-20 minutes, Kendal-25 minutes, Lancaster-45 minutes, Manchester-1 hour 30 minutes.

By Rail: The nearest station is Cark-in-Cartmel with trains to Carnforth, Lancaster and Preston for connections to major cities & airports.

    Opening Times

    Sunday-Friday (closed on Saturday)11:00 am-4:00pm, 30th March-2nd November.

    Admission Charges

    Hall & Gardens Gardens

    Adults: £12.00 £8.00

    Groups: £9.00 £5.50

    Special Events

    Producers' Market 13th April

    Join us to taste a variety of fresh local food and drinks. Meet the producers and get some excellent recipe ideas.

    Holker Garden Festival 30th May

    The event celebrates its 22nd anniversary with a great show of the very best of gardening, making it one of the most popular events in gardening.

    National Garden Day 28th August

    Holker once again opens its gardens in aid of the disadvantaged. For just a small donation you can take a tour with our garden guide.

    Winter Market 8th November

    This is an event for all the family. Wander among a variety of shops selling gifts while enjoying a live music show and nice street entertainment.

    Sitting is an art that isn't getting passed along. People these days feel as though they have to be doing something. If they are not working, they are jogging, or playing tennis or golf to guard against illnesses, or taking courses to improve their minds or bodies -- or they are parked in front of the TV. Sitting in front of the TV isn't sitting -- it's watching.

    People used to sit a whole lot. You would walk down the street or drive down the road, and there they would be, out on the doorsteps, sitting. You could go to the grocery to buy some garlic or some fruits and vegetables and sit on the bench out front m the summer or around the fire in the winter. You could go down to the store to buy an outer garment, an electric grill or anything else. There were sitting benches out in the town square. At the garage, there were straight-backed chairs. There among the oilcans and tires and spare parts, you could kick back and sit.

    Houses used to have sitting rooms, where the grown-ups would go after Sunday dinner. Mom and Dad, Grandpa and Aunt Ruby would gather round, sit and digest (消化) the fried chicken and talk about Aunt Ethel's illness, and how well the minister did today. They may just talk a load of garbage and even gesture with their hands when they become excited. Outside, the younger generation, the children would play on the ground, and the afternoon would pass by in a comfortable haze（ 悠闲的氛围).

    That sort of thing looks like doing nothing. A recharging battery (正充电的电池) doesn't look as if it's doing anything either. Sitting restores your soul. If you want to enjoy a truly full life, don't just do something--sit there.