Many parents have learned the hard way that what sounds like open communication is often the very thing that closes a youngster's ears and mouth. One common mistake is the Lecture, the long monologue that often starts with “When I was your age” Eighteen-year-old Kelly calls lectures “long, one-side discussions in which I don't say much.”

    Kids reflexively(条件反射地)shut down in the face of a lecture. Their eyes glaze over(呆滞),and they don't register any incoming information. Listen to 13-year-old Sarah describe her least favorite times with her mom and dad. “First, they scream. Then comes the ‘We're so disappointed' speech. Then the ‘I never did that to my parents' lecture begins. After that, even if they realize how ridiculous they sound they never take it back.”

    Lines like “When you have children of your own, you'll understand” have been seriously said by parents since time immemorial. But many of our expert parents, like Bobby, a registered nurse and mother of three, feel that by falling back on clichés(陈词滥调)to justify your actions, we weaken our position.

    Since kids are creatures of here and now, the far-off future has no relevance to them. Therefore, good communicators like Bobby suggest, “Give specific reasons for your actions in present language: ‘I'm not letting you go to the party because I don't think there will be enough adult supervisions.'”

    Betty, who lives in Missouri, uses an indirect approach. “I find that warnings are accepted more readily if I discuss a news article on a subject I am concerned about. My husband and I talk about it while our children absorb the information. Then they never think I'm preaching(布道).”

This really helped when Betty's kids began driving. Instead of constantly repeating “Don't drink; don't speed,” she would talk about articles in the paper and express sympathy for the victims of a car crash. Betty made no special effort to draw her kids into the conversation. She depended on a teenager's strong desire to put in his opinions—especially if he thinks he isn't being asked for them.

    In America, parents tend to encourage their children to develop their potential (潜能) to the fullest extent. Fathers and mothers frequently teach their children both ambition and the confidence necessary to work toward their goals. American parents are always active in concentrating on what their kids can do, not what they can't. As a result, millions of American boys and girls grow up hoping to become actors and athletes, diplomats and doctors. Many of them even want to become president.

    American parents often encourage their children to become involved in extra activities of all types at school, such as student government, sports and music. They believe that only through taking part in these activities can their children become mature young adults.

As we all know, school work is important. But parents should realize that the social skills their children learn from natural conversations with each other are as important as schoolwork and the skills they will need in the future work. What's more important in their work is that their children should have a sound knowledge of physics or the ability to communicate effectively.

As a rule, Chinese parents don't educate their children about the same kind of ambition and confidence as Americans do, nor do they encourage the same level of participation in extra activities. Children are typically advised to study hard and pass exams. They have to spend a lot of time in doing much schoolwork every day. It is a great waste of time to do so.

Now more and more Chinese parents have recognized that they should pay attention to developing the potential of their children. I hope that leaders in Chinese educational circles should take some measures to develop the potential of their children. I am very confident about it.

    If you have a long holiday to spend, where can you go?

    Nikoi Island, Indonesia

    Less than 85 km-but somehow a whole world away-from Singapore's shining skyline lies Nikoi Island. Surrounded by white sandy shorelines and vivid coral reefs, Nikoi's centre is hidden in rainforest, resulting in amazing biodiversity seen in its native plants, animals and bird life. Marrying traditional Indonesian craftsmanship with contemporary design, Nikoi boasts just 15 stilted（建于支柱上的）beach houses, all with breathtaking sea views, guaranteeing privacy and total escape from the daily routine.

    Amanpulo, Philippines

    The only property on Pamalican Island, the luxurious Amanpulo resort offers extremely impressive accommodation, with only access to over five kilometres of clean coral sand beach. Designed to resemble local Bahay Kubo homes, Amanpulo's beachside, treetop and hillside villas all feature comfortable decks（木质平台）with hammocks（吊床）from which to enjoy the spectacular views of the greenish-blue sea below. Fill your schedule with Amanpulo's signature adventures (including diving, windsurfing and sailing), recharge in the award-winning spa or feast on locally caught seafood-the choice is yours.

    Song Saa, Cambodia

    Song Saa's incredible ocean views, and breathtaking sunsets are a very typical example of pure paradise. Its 24 villas—each with their own sea-view private plunge pool-are designed to reflect the natural beauty of Cambodia's coastline; built from recycled wood with straw roofs and driftwood furnishings, these presences are stylish proof of Song Saa's admirable commitment to sustainability and conservation. You can choose to do as much or as little as you want here. With rainforest tours, island safaris and reef snorkeling（徒手潜水）, it just offers some of the activities that show this spectacular destination.

    Two of the saddest words in the English language are “if only". I live my life with the goal of never having to say those words, because they convey regret, lost opportunities, mistakes, and disappointment.

    My father is famous in our family for saying, “Take the extra minute to do it right." I always try to live by the “extra minute" rule. When my children were young and likely to cause accidents, I always thought about what I could do to avoid an “if only" moment, whether it was something minor like moving a cup full of hot coffee away from the edge of a counter, or something that required a little more work such as taping padding (衬垫) onto the sharp corners of a glass coffee table.

    I don't only avoid those “if only" moments when it comes to safety. It's equally important to avoid “if only" in our personal relationships. We all know people who lost a loved one and regretted that they had foregone an opportunity to say “I love you" or “I forgive you." When my father announced he was going to the eye doctor across from my office on Good Friday, I told him that it was a holiday for my company and I wouldn't be here. But then I thought about the fact that he's 84 years old and I realized that I shouldn't give up an opportunity to see him. I called him and told him I had decided to go to work on my day off after all.

    I know there will still be occasions when I have to say “if only" about something, but my life is definitely better because of my policy of doing everything possible to avoid that eventuality. And even though it takes an extra minute to do something right, or it occasionally takes an hour or two in my busy schedule to make a personal connection, I know that I'm doing the right thing. I'm buying myself peace of mind and that's the best kind of insurance for my emotional well-being.

    Elephants might be the most well-known and well-loved animal in African wildlife. But conservation (保护) of the African elephant faces special difficulties. While the elephant population is half of what it was 40 years ago, some areas of Africa have more elephants than populated areas can support. That's why AWF scientists are studying elephant behavior, protecting habitats and finding ways for humans to live peacefully with elephants in Africa.

    Years ago, overhunting and the ivory trade were the biggest threats to elephants' survival. Luckily, ivory bans (禁令), hunting rules and protected areas protect elephants from these dangers today.

    The 21st century brings a different challenge to elephant conservation — land-use. Elephants walk across borders and outside parks and other protected areas. So they often destroy crops, causing conflicts (冲突) between local farmers and these big animals.

    Successful conservation strategies (策略) must allow elephants to walk freely in their natural habitats while reducing conflicts between elephants and local people.

    AWF researchers are searching for a way to give both elephants and people the space they need. The AWF is collecting information on elephant habitats and behavior. The information they gather will help to develop the widest possible space for elephants.

    The AWF is helping elephants by protecting their habitats. And they also work with local famers to improve their life in order to encourage them to protect rather than destroy elephants.

    Johnny Smith was a good math student at a high school. He loved his computer. He came home early every day, and then he worked with it till midnight. But Johnny was not a good English student, not good at all. He got an F in his English class. One day after school Johnny joined his computer to the computer in his high school office. The school office computer had the grades of all the students: the math grades, the science grades, the grades in arts and music, and the grades in English. He found his English grade. An F! Johnny changed his English grade from an F to A. Johnny' parents looked at his report card. They were very happy.

    "An A in English!" said Johnny's Dad. "You're a very clever boy, Johnny."

    Johnny is a hacker(黑客). Hackers know how to take information from other computers and put new information in. Using a modem（调制调解器）, they join their computers to other computers secretly. School headmasters and teachers are worried about hackers. So are the police, for some people even take money from bank computer account and put it into their own ones. And they never have to leave home to do it! They are called hackers.