I am a writer．I spenda great deal of my time thinking about the power of language—the way it canevoke(唤起)an emotion, a visual image, a complex idea, or a simple truth．Languageis the tool of my trade．And I use them all—all the Englishes Igrew up with．

Born into a Chinese family that hadrecently arrived in California, I've been giving more thought to the kind ofEnglish my mother speaks．Like others, I have described it topeople as "broken" English．But I feel embarrassed to say that．It hasalways bothered me that I can think of no way to describe it other than"broken", as if it were damaged and needed to be fixed, as if it lacked acertain wholeness．I'veheard other terms used, "limited English," for example．Butthey seem just as bad, as if everything is limited, including people'sperceptions(认识)ofthe limited English speaker．

I know this for a fact, because when Iwas growing up, my mother's "limited" English limited my perception of her．I wasashamed of her English．Ibelieved that her English reflected the quality of what she had to say．Thatis, because she expressed them imperfectly her thoughts were imperfect．And Ihad plenty of evidence to support me: the fact that people in departmentstores, at banks, and at restaurants did not take her seriously, did not giveher good service, pretended not to understand her, or even acted as if they didnot hear her．

I started writing fiction in 1985．And forreasons I won't get into today, I began to write stories using all theEnglishes I grew up with: the English she used with me, which for lack of abetter term might be described as "broken", and what I imagine to be hertranslation of her Chinese, her internal(内在的) language, and for that I sought topreserve the essence, but neither an English nor a Chinese structure．Iwanted to catch what language ability tests can never show: her intention, herfeelings, the rhythms of her speech and the nature of her thoughts．

    Two students started quarreling at school. One student shouted dirty words at the other, and a fight began. What can be done to stop fights like this at school? In some schools, the disputants sit down with peer mediators(同龄调解者). Peer mediators are students with special training in this kind of problems.

    Peer mediators help the disputants to talk in a friendly way. Here are some of the ways they use:

1) Put what you think clearly but don't say anything to hurt the other. Begin with “I feel…” instead of “You always…”

2) Listen carefully to what the other person is saying. Don't stop the other person's words.

3) Keep looking at the other person's eyes when he or she talks.

4) Try to see the other person's side of the problem.

5) Never put anyone down. Saying things like “You are foolish” makes the talk difficult. 6) Try to find a result that makes both people happy.

    Peer mediators never decide the result or the winner. They don't decide who is right and who is wrong. Instead, they help the two students to find their own “win-win” result.

    As an old saying in China goes, “The days of the Sanjiu period are the coldest days.” “Sanjiu period” , which is in Minor Cold, refers to the third nine-day period (the l9th to the 27th day) after the day of the Winter Solstice(冬至). There are many different customs related to Minor Cold in China.

    Eating hotpot

    During Minor Cold people should eat some hot food to benefit the body and defend against the cold weather. Winter is the best time to have hotpot and braised mutton with soy sauce. But it is important to notice that too much spicy food may cause health problems.

    Eating huangyacai

    In Tianjin, there is a custom to have huangyacai, a kind of Chinese cabbage, during Minor Cold. There are large amounts of vitamins A and B in huangyacai. As huangyacai is fresh and tender, it is fit for frying, roasting and braising.

    Eating glutinous rice (糯米饭)

    According to tradition, the Cantonese eat glutinous rice in the morning during Minor Cold. Cantonese people add some fried preserved pork, sausages and peanuts and mix them into the rice.

    Eating vegetable rice

    In ancient times, people in Nanjing took Minor Cold quite seriously, but as time went by, the celebration of Minor Cold gradually disappeared. However, the custom of eating vegetable rice is still followed today. The rice is steamed and is unspeakably delicious. Among the ingredients (原料), aijiaohuang (a kind of green vegetable), sausages and salted duck are the specialties in Nanjing.

    As our closest neighbor in space, the moon has been the subject of popular myths, songs and poems since ancient times. And it has no less fascinated scientists. But even after centuries of research many questions remain to be answered about Earth's only satellite. Perhaps the Chang'e-4 lunar probe will be able to reveal more of its secrets.

    On Dec 8, the probe lifted off from Xichang Satellite Launch Center in Sichuan Province. It is the first probe to the far side of moon.

    The Earth's gravity slows the moon's rotation, matching it to the speed of its orbit. Thus, the far side of the moon is always dark and has never been seen. It's this sense of the unknown that makes the far side of the moon such an interesting place for scientific and space exploration.

Long exposed to solar winds, the far side may have the special soil and minerals in its upper mantle(地幔).For this reason, Chang'e-4 will study the effect of solar winds on the lunar surface and any minerals found beneath the spacecraft.

    Chang'e-4 is also carrying flower seeds and potato and silkworm eggs to see whether life is possible on the moon. If it is, then the moon will become a more likely destination for space travel in the future. However, due to communication problems, exploration of the dark side will not be easy.

    As the far side is blocked off from us, radio noise coming off Earth is also blocked. This is why China launched the relay satellite Queqiao in May—so that communication between Earth and the probe could go ahead. Power supply will also be a challenge to the mission.

    Chang'e-4 gets energy from the sun through its solar panels. However, a lunar day has the length of 28 Earth days. This means that the probe will need to orbit the moon for over 20 days to be in a position to be able to land in moon daylight and so use its solar panels.

    According to Xinhua, if everything goes well, the satellite will land on the far side on Jan 2.

    The New York Times described the journey as “groundbreaking”, and wrote that it will “give clues to the history and development of the moon”.

    My motivation for starting our family tradition of reading in the car was purely selfish: I could not bear listening to A Sesame Street Christmas for another 10 hours. My three children had been addicted to this cassette on our previous summer's road trip.

    As I began to prepare for our next 500-mile car trip, I came across a book Jim Trelease's The Read Aloud Handbook. This could be the answer to my problem. I thought. So I put Roald dahl's James and the Giant Peach into my bag. When I began to read aloud the tale of the boy who escapes the bad guys by hiding inside a giant peach, my three kids argued and wrestled in their seats. But after several lines, they were attracted into the rhythm of the words and began to listen.

    We soon learned that the simple pleasure of listening to a well-written book makes the long miles pass more quickly. Sometimes the books we read became highlights of the trip. I read Wilson Rawls's Summer of the Monkeys as we spent two days driving to the beach. We arrived just behind the power crews restoring (恢复) electricity after a tropical storm. The rain continued most of the week, and the beach was covered with oil washed up by the storm. When we returned home, I asked my son what he liked about the trip. He answered without hesitation, “The book you read in the car.”

    Road trips still offer challenges, even though my children now are teenagers. But we continue to read as we roll across the country. And I'm beginning to see that reading aloud has done more than help pass the time. For at least a little while, we are not shut in our own electronic worlds. And maybe we've started something that will pass on to the next generation.

    Convincing someone to change their mind is really the process of convincing them to change their tribe (部落). If they abandon their beliefs, they run the risk of losing social ties. You can't expect someone to change their mind if you take away their community too.

    The way to change people's minds is to become friends with them, to combine them into your tribe, to bring them into your circle. Now, they can change their beliefs without the risk of being abandoned socially.

    The British philosopher Alain de Botton suggests that we simply share meals with those who disagree with us: "Sitting down at a table with a group of strangers has the incomparable and odd benefit of making it a little more difficult to hate them without punishment. Prejudice and conflict between groups of people from different nations or races feed off abstraction. However, during a meal, something about handing dishes around, unfolding napkins (餐巾纸) at the same moment, even asking a stranger to pass the salt makes us less likely to hold the belief that the outsiders who wear unusual clothes and speak in distinctive accents deserve to be sent home or attacked. For all the large-scale political solutions which have been proposed to ease racial or cultural conflict, there are few more effective ways to promote tolerance between suspicious neighbours than to force them to eat supper together."

    Perhaps it is not difference, but distance that produces tribalism and unfriendliness. As proximity increases, so does understanding. I am reminded of Abraham Lincoln's quote, "I don't like that man. I must get to know him better." Facts don't change our minds. Friendship does.

    The Japanese writer Haruki Murakami once wrote, "Always remember that to argue, and win, is to break down the reality of the person you are arguing against. It is painful to lose your reality, so be kind, even if you are right."

    When we are in the moment, we can easily forget that the goal is to connect with the other side, cooperate with them, befriend them, and integrate them into our tribe. We are so caught up in winning that we forget about connecting. It's easy to spend your energy labeling people rather than working with them.

    The word "kind (family and relatives)" originated from the word "kin (old fashion of family and relatives)." When you are kind to someone, it means you are treating them like family. This, I think, is a good method for actually changing someone's mind. Develop a friendship. Share a meal. Gift a book. Be kind first, be right later.