Kiss crisis, hug horrors and the UK's handshake headaches

    Greeting someone, saying goodbye — these situations fill me with unease. You have a second to make a dangerous decision. One peck (轻吻)? Two pecks? Three? No kisses at all? Why, I think, as I crash into the other person's face, why can't it be as simple as a handshake?

    A survey by the soap company Redox in May showed one in five Brits now feels a handshake is “too formal”, according to the Daily Mail. Some 42 percent said they never shook hands when greeting friends. For one third of people the alternative was a hug, for 16 percent a kiss on the cheek.

    British people are known to be reserved (保守的) — unfriendly, some would say. Handshakes used to work for us because we didn't have to get too close. But the super-British handshake is no longer fashionable. We want to be more like our easygoing Mediterranean neighbors who greet each other with kisses and hugs.

    The trouble is, we still find it a bit awkward. What does a married man do when greeting a married female friend, for example? How should someone younger greet someone older?

    Guys don't tend to kiss one another; my male friends in Britain go for the “manly hug”, taking each other stiffly (不自然地) in one arm and giving a few thumps on the back with words like “Take it easy, yeah?”.

    The biggest questions, if you do decide to kiss, are how many times and which cheek first. Unlike the French, who comfortably deliver three, our cheek-pecks usually end in embarrassed giggling (咯咯笑): “Oh, gosh, sorry, I didn't mean to kiss you on the lips, I never know where to aim for first!”

    But then it's never been easy for us poor, uncomfortable Brits. Even the handshake had its problems: don't shake too hard, but don't hold the other person's hand too limply (无力地) either, and definitely don't go in with sweaty hands.

    Maybe it's better to leave it at a smile and a nod. 

    It was anniversary（周年纪念）and Ria was waiting for her husband Manoj to show up. After some years of marriage things changed between them. The once cute couple who couldn't live without each other were now fighting over every little thing, but both didn't like changes that came into their marriage.

    Ria was waiting to see if Manoj remembered that it was their wedding anniversary. As the doorbell rang she ran toward the door and opened it with a bunch of flowers to greet him. Both started to celebrate. They wanted to make up for fights.

    Suddenly the phone in the bedroom rang. Ria went to pick it up. On the call there was a man who said, “Hello, madam. I am calling from the police station. Is this Mr. Manoj Kumar's number?”

    She replied, “Yes, it is!”

    “I am sorry, but there has been an accident and man died. We got this number from his wallet. Can you please come and identify the body?” the man replied. Ria was shocked!! “But my husband is with me here!!”, she replied. “Sorry, but the accident took place in the afternoon while he was getting off the bus.”

    Ria was about to lose her consciousness（意识）. She had read stories about souls returning to meet their loved ones after their death before it leaves!! Her heart sank. In fear she ran towards the other room to look for her husband. But he was not there. She said to herself, “It's true!! He left me forever. Oh God, I can die to have another chance to mend for every fight we had. I lost my chance forever.” She fell on the floor in pain.

    Suddenly there was noise from the bathroom. The door opened and Manoj came out and said, “Darling, I forgot to tell you today my wallet was stolen.”

    Life might not give you a second chance, so never waste any moment while you still have one. Value people and relations in life and have a wonderful life with no regrets. Live today and enjoy every moment of life because no one has promised tomorrow.

    I ran into quite a few language problems while vacationing ( 度假) with my family last summer. The most embarrassing was when my Mom apologized to the people we were staying with because her “pants were dirty”. They looked at her in amazement, not knowing how to react. You see, Mom had fallen over and gotten mud on her jeans. But in Britain, “pants” means underpants or knickers( 内裤；衬裤), not trousers as it does back home.

    Katie — From America

    I went to stay with a friend on the west coast last summer. Her flat was on the first floor of a high-rise building so I got the lift up. Then I wandered round for ages looking for her flat but couldn't find it. Fed up and tired, I finally had to go out to find a phone box. She explained that her flat was on the first floor, which for me meant the ground floor.

    David — From Britain

    When I asked for the “restroom” in a big department store, people kept directing me to a room with seats where I could sit and “rest”. It took me years to get through to (使...明白)someone that I only wanted the toilet!

    Tom — From America

    Last summer we went on a two-week family touring holiday, so Dad hired a car over the Internet. This was an old vehicle and there turned out (结果是；证明是)to be lots of things wrong with it. When he phoned the hire company and tried to explain that the lock on the boot was broken, they thought he was talking about footwear! He had no idea their word for “boot” was “trunk”. In the end we went to a garage and just solved the problem.

    Mary — From Britain

    Throughout our daily lives, we have known plenty of people and will know more. But how can we tell if someone is trustworthy? In a paper published recently in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, researcher gave us the answer.

    The researchers asked 401 adults from the United States to fill out a questionnaire measuring their guilt-proneness (内疚倾向) in different situations as well as several other qualities, and then play a short online game. In this game, Player 1 is given $1, which they can choose to give to Player2. Any money given to Player 2 is then automatically increased to $2.50. Player 2 can then decide whether to keep all of the money or behave in a trustworthy way by returning a portion of the money to Player 1. The researchers found more guilt-prone people were more likely to share the money with Player 1. Actually, in follow-up studies, guilt-proneness predicted trustworthiness better than other personality qualities the researchers measured.

    Why might guilt lead to trustworthy behavior? The researchers found people who were guilt-prone also reported feeling an obligation to act in ethical (合乎道德的) and responsible ways while interacting (互动) with their partners in the game. People who are guilt-prone tend to avoid engaging in behavior that might harm or disappoint others. If they do something bad, guilt encourages them to try to make things right again.

    Then, how can we use this research to ascertain whether someone is trustworthy? "One way to do this might be observe how they respond to experience regret," lead author Emma Levine, assistant professor at the University of Chicago Levine, explains. Another way is to ask them to describe a difficult dilemma they faced in the past, suggests co-author Taya Cohen, associate professor at Carnegie Mellon University. This is particularly effective, Cohen and her colleagues have found, because it allows us to see if they're concerned about the effects their actions have on others.

    Imagine you are opening your own company and want to hire a manager. You have two candidates and they are both capable and experienced, so who would you rather hire: Julia Watson or Shobha Bhattacharva? Chances are that you would prefer Watson, right? But why?

    "Easy names are evaluated as more familiar, less risky and less dangerous," Eryn Newman, a scientist at Victoria University of Wellington, New Zealand, told Scientific American. As a result, people with easier names are often assumed to be more trustworthy. This is what Newman and her teammates have found in their recent study.

    In the experiment, they picked 18 different foreign names, including difficult-to-pronounce ones like Yevgeni Dherzhinsky and easy names like Bodo Wallmeyer. They then attached each name with a statement such as "turtles are deaf" and "giraffes are the only mammals that cannot jump" and asked volunteers whether they thought the claims were true.

    The results showed that claims connected to easier names were more often ranked as believable than those attributed to difficult names, regardless of what the truth really was. In fact, previous studies have already found that our judgments about products can be affected by their names. For example, we tend to think of a food additive (添加剂) with an easier name as safer and a stock with an easier name as more lucrative (利润丰厚的)，according to Medical Daily.

    But researchers pointed out that this effect can change depending on where someone comes from. For example, a native British man may find "Yevgeni Dherzhinsky" hard to pronounce while Russian people could say it without effort. Newman hopes that this finding can make us better see our biases (偏见). It's not just unfair to people that we make judgments based on gut feelings (直觉) rather than facts, and it can sometimes have serious consequences.

    For example, we may choose to believe certain eyewitnesses in court simply because their names sound more trustworthy even if they are actually lying. Or, we may let go of qualified job candidates due to their "difficult" names.

    Now, if you could make that decision again, would you still prefer Julia Watson to Shobha Bhattacharva?

Rosie, a first-year university student in Beijing, entered a classroom for her oral English exam and slid her topic across the table to Joe, a foreign teacher. My Story, it read. "In middle school, my classmates laughed at me for having deaf-mute parents," she began softly. "From that moment on, I decided not to tell anybody. But today…"

It's widely considered taboo(忌讳) in Chinese to discuss the details of an unhappy family life with anyone other than very close friends. However, as Joe has noticed, many Chinese students appear surprisingly comfortable discussing emotional moments from their lives when they speak with foreign teachers in a language different from their own.

"Speaking English," one of his Chinese students told him, "I feel like another person." When speaking Chinese, he is kind of reserved; in English class, he is more open. English, to the Chinese speaker, may be like a mask, creating a buffer(缓冲物)between speaking the truth and the listener's reaction. Students focus on how to speak rather than what is being said. If there's a misunderstanding, English can take the blame.

Another reason why Chinese students are more comfortable sharing their secrets during English class may be the distinct approach to teaching used by their foreign teachers. "I always try to come to each student, make eye contact, have a 20-second conversation and see how they are doing," Joe said. Classes taught by Chinese teachers, in contrast, are more formal. Many students said they had never been asked their opinion in class.

Rosie's English vocabulary is now extensive, but she still can't find the words to describe her feelings towards the English language. "English makes me feel I am different," she said. "English is beautiful."