Mark Twain, the famous American writer and a great master of humor, liked to play jokes on others. But once a joke was played on him. One day Mark Twain was invited to give a talk in a small town. At lunch he met a young man,one of his friends.

    The young man said that he had an uncle with him. He told Mark Twain that his uncle never laughed or smiled, and that nobody and nothing was able to make his uncle smile or laugh.

    “You bring your uncle to my talk this evening,” said Mark Twain. “I'm sure I can make him laugh.”

    That evening the young man and his uncle sat in the front. Mark Twain began to speak. He told several funny stories and made everyone in the room laugh. But the man never even smiled. Mark Twain told more funny stories, but the old man still kept quiet. Mark Twain continued to tell his funny stories. Finally he stopped. He was tired and quite disappointed.

    Some days later, Mark Twain told another friend what had happened. “Oh,” said his friend,“I know that man. He's been deaf for years.”

    A few weeks ago, I called an Uber to take me to the Boston airport for a flight home for the holidays. As I slid into the back seat of the car, the warm intonations（语调）of the driver's accent washed over me in a familiar way.

    I learned that he was a recent West African immigrant with a few young children, working hard to provide for his family. I could relate: I am the daughter of two Ethiopian immigrants who made their share of sacrifices to ensure my success. I told him I was on a college break and headed home to visit my parents. That's how he found out I go to Harvard. An approving eye glinted（闪烁）at me in the rearview window, and quickly, we crossed the boundaries of rider and driver. I became his daughter, all grown up – the product of his sacrifice.

And then came the fateful question: "What do you study?" I answered "history and literature" and the pride in his voice faded, as I knew it might. I didn't even get to add "and African-American studies" before he cut in, his voice thick with disappointment. "All that work to get into Harvard, and you study history?"

    Here I was, his daughter, squandering the biggest opportunity of her life. He went on to deliver the age-old lecture that all immigrant kids know. We are to become doctors (or lawyers, if our parents are being generous) – to make money and send money back home. The unspoken demand, made across generations, which my Uber driver laid out plainly, is simple: Fulfill your role in the narrative（故事）of upward mobility so your children can do the same.

I used to feel anxious and backed into a corner by the questioning, but now as a junior in college, I'm grateful for their support more than anything. This holiday season, I've promised myself I won't get annoyed at their inquiries. I won't defensively respond with "but I plan to go to law school!" when I get unrequested advice. I'll just smile and nod, and enjoy the warmth of the occasion.

    You signed up for soccer, and played every game of the season. Sure, you're not the best player on the team, but most days you gave it your all. Do you deserve a trophy (奖杯)?

    If the decision is up to Carol Dweck, the answer would likely be no. She's a psychology professor at Stanford University, California. She says a player doesn't have to be the best to get a trophy. But those who receive an award should have to work for it. She suggests trophies go to the most improved player, or the one who contributed most to the team spirit, as well as to those who play the best.

    “The trophy has to stand for something，” Dweck told TFK. “If we give a trophy to everyone, then the award has no value.” Dweck argues that giving kids trophies for particular reasons, such as improving in a sport, and teaches kids that adults value hard work and trying our best.

    Others say that there's no harm in giving awards to all kids who play a sport, regardless of how they played or whether or not they improved.

    “I think we should encourage kids' participation in sports，” says Kenneth Barish, a psychology professor at Weill Cornell Medical College, in New York City. “A trophy is one way to encourage kids' efforts.”

    Barish argues that when we only single out the best or even the most improved players with a trophy, we are teaching kids the wrong lesson. We are sending the message that winning is everything. “Winning is only part of the equation (等式)，” Barish told TFK.“Playing sports also teaches kids about teamwork and the importance of exercise.”

    There will be plenty of opportunities for kids to learn about competition as they get older, says Barish. They'll soon realize that only one soccer team wins the World Cup and only one football team wins the Super Bowl. For now, he thinks there's nothing wrong with letting all kids who play a sport feel like winners. That means trophies for everyone.

    When you're a parent to a young child, you spend a lot of time talking about feelings: about having to share, about being disappointed because you may not have a cookie instead of broccoli (绿花椰菜), about the great injustice of a parent pressing the elevator button before the child has a chance to.

    And in a parenting culture that's increasingly concerned with centering children's needs above all else, mothers and fathers have become skillful at talking about their kids' feelings while masking their own. But new research suggests that parents who hide their negative emotions are doing their children, and themselves harm.

    A study published this month says that when parents put on a faux­happy (假开心) face for their kids,  they do damage to their own sense of wellbeing and authenticity.

"For the average parent the findings suggest when they attempt to hide their negative emotion expression and overexpress their positive emotions with their children, it actually comes at a cost: doing so may lead parents to feel worse themselves," researcher Dr. Emily Impett, says.

    It makes sense that parents often fall back on amping up (扩大) the positivity for the sake of their children — there are a lot of things in the world we want to protect our kids from. But children are often smarter than we expect and are quite in tune with what the people closest to them — their parents — are feeling.

    There was a time about a year or so ago, for example, when I received some bad news over the phone; I was home with my four­year­old and so I did my best to put on a brave face.  She knew immediately something was wrong though, and was confused.

    When I finally let a few tears out and explained that Mom heard something sad about a friend, she was, of course, just fine. My daughter patted my shoulder, gave me a hug, and went back to playing. She felt better that she was able to help me, and the moment made a lot more sense to her emotionally than a smiling mom holding back sobs. I was glad that I could feel sad momentarily and not have to work hard to hide that.

    Relaying positive feelings to your children when you don't feel them is a move the researchers called high cost — that it may seem like the most beneficial to your child at the time but that parents should find other ways of communicating emotions that "allow them to feel true to themselves".

    But this is also about children seeing the world in a more honest way. While we will want to protect our children from things that aren't age­appropriate or harmful, it's better to raise a generation of kids who understand that moms and dads are people too.

    If you are planning on travelling, there are few simple rules about how to make life easier both before and after your journey.

    First of all, always check and doublecheck departure(出发) time. It is surprising how few people really do this carefully. Once I arrived at the airport a few minutes after ten. My secretary had got the ticket for me and I thought she had said that the plane left at 10:50. When I arrived at the airport, the person at the departure desk told me that my flight was closed. Therefore, I had to wait three hours for the next one and missed an important meeting.

    The second rule is to remember that even in this age of credit cards(信用卡), it is still important to have some local money in cash(现金). Once I arrived at a place at midnight and the bank at the airport was closed. The only way to get to my hotel was by taxi but because I had no dollars, I offered to pay in pounds instead. "Listen! I only take real money!" the driver said angrily. You can image how terrible I felt at that moment.

    The third and the last rule is to find out as much as you can about the weather at your destination before you leave. I feel sorry for some of my workmates who travel in heavy suits and raincoats in May, when it is still fairly cool in London or Manchester, to places like Athens, Rome or Madrid, where it is already beginning to get quite warm during the day.

The teenage Snowboarder.

I was born in Denver, USA. and started snowboarding aged eight when my dad took me to a resort in the mountains. About two hours from Denver. The hill looked unbelievably steep and scary. So My dad had to do a lot of persuading to get me on a board. Because I was so young. I hadn't even thought of asking him if I could start snowboarding? But he was already into it and wanted me to love it, too—-He made it look so simple, and in the end I managed just fine.

After this experience, it wasn't long before I'd developed a love of sport and had improved my ability too. I started competing aged ten. Some people entered loads of competitions and ended up getting bored of snowboarding. But my love of taking part and winning got stronger as I got older, which always help me to push myself harder. I enjoyed not having a fixed plan and sometimes this went well, like when I became the first female ever to get a perfect 100 at a local competition. I wasn't sure I'd even attempted the jumps that got me the score until I actually set off. That achievement increased my trust in my own abilities.

During the summer I focused on training and my studies while there's no snow. Although I trained daily, it's nice not having to stick to quite a strict diet like I did in the winter. I also got to spend lots of time with my friends then. It's the best way of dealing with not being able to do what I loved so much and what I was really good at.

Now. I have to think carefully about my future. Snowboarding is such a huge part of my life now. But I also feel it's important to have something else I can do. just in case I don't succeed as a professional snowboarder or I get injured. I'm wondering whether becoming a doctor is a possibility. if my active life allows time for doing a college degree, it's impossible to imagine myself growing tired of the sport. But I can't go on snowboarding my whole life.