In the mid­1950s，I was a somewhat bored early­ado lescent male student who believed that doing_any_more_than_necessary_was_wasted_effort.One day，this approach threw me into embarrassment.

    In Mrs.Totten's eighth­grade math class at Central Avenue School in Anderson，Indiana，we were learning to add and subtract decimals (小数)．

    Our teacher typically assigned daily homework，which would be recited in class the following day.On most days，our grades were based on our oral answers to homework questions.

    Mrs.Totten usually walked up and down the rows of desks requesting answers from student after student in the order the questions had appeared on our homework sheets.She would start either at the front or the back of the classroom and work toward the other end.

    Since I was seated near the middle of about 35 students，it was easy to figure out which questions I might have to answer.This particular time，I had completed my usual two or three problems according to my calculations.

What I failed to expect was that several students were absent，which threw off my estimate.As Mrs.Totten made her way from the beginning of the class，I desperately tried to determine which math problem I would get.I tried to work it out before she got to me，but I had brain freeze and couldn't function.

    When Mrs.Totten reached my desk，she asked what answer I'd got for problem No.14.“I...I didn't get anything，”I answered，and my face felt warm.

     “Correct，”she said.

    It turned out that the correct answer was zero.

    What did I learn that day？First，always do all your homework.Second，in real life it isn't always what you say but how you say it that matters.Third，I would never make it as a mathematician.

    If I could choose one school day that taught me the most，it would be that one.

    Last summer I sat at a long picnic table near a breathtaking mountain. While the parents were eating dinner, the kids ran up a trail in search of a secret fort. Twenty minutes later one excited little boy, James, interrupted the adult conversation.

    “Mom, Mom, you can't believe what we found!”

    Lovingly, his mother smiled and whispered, “I can't wait to hear, James, but grown-ups are talking, and there will be a pause in the conversation. Please wait for the pause.”

    On my other side, another boy came running up to his mother with equal enthusiasm.

    “Mom, Mom, we had so much fun—”

    “I am talking! Don't interrupt,” she said.

    “But, Mom—”

    “Be quiet! Can't you see that I am talking?”

    “But Mom we found the—”

    “Shut up, Steve!” she yelled.

    My heart sank. I knew what was coming. James, on my right, patiently waited for the pause, enthusiasm still alive and well. Steve, on my left, walked away from the table, looking shamed, carrying with him stories of secret forts never to be shared.

    What markedly different messages to the child! “Wait for the pause” versus “Shut up” gets incorporated (包含)so differently into a child's developing sense of self.

    Harsh(刺耳的) words have bad effects. That's why I want you to promise to delete the phrases “Shame on you” or “You should be ashamed” from your vocabulary. I have seen countless patients whose parents' thoughtless words echoed in their heads and chipped(消除) away at their self-worth, even decades later.

    So we have to discipline ourselves to make our instructions constructive. One great tool is to look for positive behavior to reinforce. Don't ignore the things that your kids are doing right. Thank your children. Tell them that you noticed how they waited patiently or cleared their plate without being asked. Chances are that they will do it again. Let them feel noticed, appreciated, and valued. There's no better way to shape behavior.

    Hungary's capital sparkles(闪耀)in winter and it's a great place to see in the New Year. There's festive cheer on tap, with concerts, folk dancing and stalls selling wine or fruit brandy and traditional chimney cake outsides. New Year's Eve is celebrated with fireworks over the Danube(多瑙河), and it's worth booking one of the many river cruises(巡游)with dinner and DJs (free and open 24/7, but likely to be crowded).

    A four-night trip with Travel Republic costs £449 for a family (2 adults with 1 child under 6), departing Stansted on 28 December with Ryanair, with B&B accommodation at the central Atrium Budapest Hotel.

    For a slightly more cerebral(理智的)New Year's Eve, Stockholm is a smart choice. The main celebration is at Skansen, Sweden's oldest open-air museum. Enterainment starts at 8 p.m. with singing and dancing, and peaks with a recitation of the poem Ring Out. Evening tickets are £14 for adults (children under 6 go free), or there are new day and evening combination tickets (£16 adult/£5 child). On New Year's Day, early birds can try an introduction to ice skating (8 a.m. daily, £139).

    Book it Ryanair, Norwegian and SAS fly to Stockholm from several UK airports.

    The land of fire and ice lives up to its name on New Year's Eve, when about 90 bonfires(篝火)are lit across the country. Some bonfires are accompanied by Icelandic singing; most start about 8 p.m. and finish by 10 p.m., which can be a good time to see the northern lights. After the fires, everyone goes home to watch Áramótaskaup, a TV show that has been running on 31 December since 1966. But that doesn't mean the party is over just before midnight, they all come back out to let off an astonishing amount of fireworks, with profits going to Icelandic Search and Rescue Association, which does life-saving work, and is run by volunteers and is a cause close to most Icelanders' hearts.

    Book it Wow Air and Wizz Air, easyJet and Icelandair fly to Reykjavik from several UK cities.

Flying High

    Barrington Irving made his historic flight and founded an educational non-profit-making organization. His message for kids: "The only thing that separates you from scientists is determination, hard work and a strong liking for what you want to achieve." The secret, he believes, is having a dream in the first place, and that starts with learning experiences that inspire kids to build careers.

    The moment of inspiration for Irving came at the age of 15 in his parents' bookstore. One customer, a professional pilot, asked Irving if he'd thought about becoming a pilot. "I told him I didn't think I was smart enough; but the next day he took me to the cockpit (驾驶舱) of the commercial airplane he flew, and just like that I was hooked."

    To follow his dream, Irving turned down a football scholarship to the University of Florida. He washed airplanes to earn money for a flight school and increased his flying skills by practising at home on a $40 flight simulator (模拟) video game. Then another dream took hold: flying alone around the world. He faced more than 50 rejections for sponsorship before convincing some companies to donate aircraft components. He took off with no weather radar, no de-icing system, and just $30 in his pocket. "I like to do things people say I can't do."

    After 97 days, 26 stops and dozens of thunderstorms, he touched down to a cheering crowd in Miami. "It was seeing so many young people watching and listening that pushed me into giving back with my knowledge and experience." Irving has been doing it ever since. He set up his non-profit-making organization, Experience Aviation (航空), aiming to increase the numbers of youth in aviation and science-related careers. Kids attend programmes dealing with hands-on robotics projects and flight simulator challenges.

    "We want to create chances for students to accomplish something amazing," he notes. Perhaps Irving's most powerful educational tool is the example his own life provides. After landing his record-breaking flight at age 23, he said, "Everyone told me I was too young, that I didn't have enough experience, strength, or knowledge. They told me it would take forever and I'd never come home. Well… guess what?"

    Tens of thousands of ancient pictures carved into the rocks at one of France's most important tourist sites are being gradually destroyed. Scientists and researchers fear that the 36,000 drawings on rocks in Mont Bego in the French Alps are being damaged so rapidly that they will not survive for future generations.

    The mountain, believed to have once been a site for prayer, is scattered (散布) with 4,000-year-old drawings cut into bare rock. They include pictures of cows with horns, cultivated fields and various gods and goddesses. But as the popularity of the site increases, the pictures are being ruined by thoughtless graffiti (涂鸦).

    Jean Clottes is the chairman of the International Committee on Rock Art. He says, "People think that because the pictures have been there so long they will always continue to be there. But if the damage continues at this rate there will be nothing left in 50 years."

    He describes seeing tourists stamping on the drawings, wearing away the rock and definition (清晰) of the artwork as they do so. Some visitors, he says, even cut off parts to take home as souvenirs. "When people think they can't take a good enough photograph, they rub the drawings to get a clearer picture," he said. "The drawings are polished by the weather, and if the sun is shining and the visitors can't see them properly they simply rub them to make them look fresher." Other researchers describe how people arrive carrying long sticks with sharp ends to scratch (刮) their own drawings, or even their names, in the rocks.

    But experts are divided over the best way to preserve the drawings. Henry de Lumley, director of the Museum of Natural History in Paris, believes that the only way to save the site is to turn the whole mountain into a "no-go" area, preventing the public from going there except on guided tours. Otherwise, he says, not only will the site be completely destroyed but important research work will be reduced.

    Clottes disagrees, "The measure suggested by Henry de Lumley is the most severe, and while it is the most effective, it is also certain to bring about protests from people who live there," he said. "The site was classified as a historic monument years ago by the Ministry of Culture, and we must do as much as possible to save what is there."

    David Lavergne, the regional architect, also wants to avoid closing the site. "Henry de Lumley's idea isn't ideal," he said. "Our department feels that the best solution is to let people look at the site, but because the area is very big it is difficult to prevent visitors from damaging it. I would prefer that everyone was able to look at it, but the main problem is money. We do not have the funds to employ the necessary number of guards. We may have to consider charging a fee. It doesn't seem to be possible to get the government support."

    Many of us love July because it's the month when nature's berries and stone fruits are in abundance. These colourful and sweet jewels form British Columbia's fields are little powerhouses of nutritional protection.

    Of the common berries, strawberries are highest in vitamin C, although, because of their seeds, raspberries contain a little more protein (蛋白质), iron and zinc (not that fruits have much protein). Blueberries are particularly high in antioxidants (抗氧化物质). The yellow and orange stone fruits such as peaches are high in the carotenoids we turn into vitamin A and which are antioxidants. As for cherries (樱桃), they are so delicious who cares? However, they are rich in vitamin C.

    When combined with berries of slices of other fruits, frozen bananas make an excellent base for thick, cooling fruit shakes and low fat "ice cream". For this purpose, select ripe bananas for freezing as they are much sweeter. Remove the skin and place them in plastic bags or containers and freeze. If you like, a squeeze of fresh lemon juice on the bananas will prevent them turning brown. Frozen bananas will last several weeks, depending on their ripeness and the temperature of the freezer.

    If you have a juicer, you can simply feed in frozen bananas and some berries or sliced fruit. Out comes a "soft-serve" creamy dessert, to be eaten right away. This makes a fun activity for a children's party; they love feeding the fruit and frozen bananas into the top of the machine and watching the ice cream come out below.