It's generally believed that people act the way they do because of their personalities and attitudes. They recycle their garbage because they care about the environment. They pay $5 for a caramel brulee latte because they like expensive coffee drinks.

    It's undeniable that behavior comes from our inner dispositions(性情), but in many instances we also draw inferences about who we are, as suggested by the social psychologist Daryl Bern, by observing our own behavior. We can be strangers to ourselves. If we knew our own minds, why should we need to guess what our preferences are from our behavior? If our minds were an open book, we would know exactly how much we care about the environment or like lattes. Actually, we often need to look to our behavior to figure out who we are.

    Moreover, we don't just use our behavior to learn about our particular types of character — we infer characters that weren't there before. Our behavior is often shaped by little pressures around us, which we fail to recognize. Maybe we recycle because our wives and neighbors would disapprove if we didn't. Maybe we buy lattes in order to impress the people around us. We should not mistakenly believe that we always behave as a result of some inner disposition.

    Whatever pressures there can be or inferences one can make, people become what they do, though it may not be in compliance(符合) with their true desires. Therefore, we should all bear in mind Kurt Vonnegut's advice: “We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”

    “Soon, you're going to have to move out!” cried my neighbor upon seeing the largest tomato plant known to mankind, or at least known in my neighborhood.

    One tiny 9-inch plant, bought for $1.25 in the spring, has already taken over much of my rose bed, covering much of other plants, and is well on its way to the front door.

    Roses require a good deal of care, and if it weren't for the pleasure they give, it wouldn't be worth the work. As it is, I have a garden full of sweet-smelling roses for most of the year. bushes must be pruned(剪枝) in early spring, leaving ugly woody branches until the new growth appears a few weeks later. It was the space available(可用的) in the garden that led me into planting just one little tomato plant. A big mistake.

    Soil conditions made just perfect for roses turn out to be even more perfect for tomatoes. The daily watering coupled with full sun and regular fertilizing(施肥) have turned the little plant into a tall bush. The cage I placed around it as the plant grew has long since disappeared under the thick leaves.

    Now the task I face in harvesting the fruit is twofold; First, I have to find the red ones among the leaves, which means I almost have to stand on my head, and once found I have to reach down and under, pick the tomatoes and withdraw(缩回) my full fist without dropping the prize so dearly won. I found two full-blown white roses completely hidden as I picked tomatoes in June, but they were weak and the leaves already yellow for lack of light.

    Here I am faced with a painful small decision: To tear up a wonderful and productive tomato plant that offers up between ten and twenty ripe sweet tomatoes each day or say goodbye to several expensive and treasured roses. Like Scarlett in Gone With the Wind, I'll think about that tomorrow.

    My First Marathon

    Three weeks before my first marathon, one of my ankles was injured and this meant not running for two weeks, leaving me only one week to train. Yet, I was determined to go ahead.

    I remember back to my 7th year in school. In my first P.E. class, the teacher required us to run laps and then hit a softball. My performance was really terrible. He later informed me that I was "not athletic".

    The idea that I was "not athletic" stuck with me for years. When I started running in my 30s, I realized running was a battle against myself, not about competition or whether or not I was athletic. It was all about the battle against my own body and mind. A test of wills!

    The night before my marathon, I dreamt that I couldn't even find the finish line. I woke up sweating and nervous, but I was ready to prove something to myself.

Shortly after crossing the start line, my shoe laces became untied. So I stopped to readjust. Not the start I wanted!

    At mile 3, I passed a sign: "GO FOR IT, RUNNERS!"

    By mile 17, I became out of breath and the once injured ankle hurt badly. Despite the pain, I stayed the course walking a bit and then running again.

    By mile 21, I was starving!

    As I approached mile 23, I could see my wife waving a sign. She is my biggest fan. She never minded the alarm clock sounding at 4 a.m. or questioned my expenses on running.

    I was one of the final runners to finish. But I finished! And I got a medal. In fact, I got the same medal as the one that the guy who came in first place had.

Determined to be myself and move forward, free of shame and worldly labels(世俗标签), I can now call myself a "marathon winner".

    A large body of research has been developed in recent years to explain many aspects of willpower. Most of the researchers exploring self-control do so with an obvious goal in mind: How can willpower be strengthened? If willpower is truly a limited resource, as the research suggests, what can be done to make it stay strong?

    Avoiding temptation (诱惑) is an effective method for maintaining self-control, which is called the "out of sight, out of mind" principle. One recent study, for instance, found office workers less attracted to candy in the desk drawer than that on top of their desks, in plain sight.

    The research suggesting that we possess a limited reservoir of self-control raises a troubling question. When we face too many temptations, are we to fail? Not necessarily. Researchers don't believe that one's willpower is ever completely exhausted. Rather, people appear to hold some willpower in reserve, saved for future demands. The right motivation allows us to tap into those reserves, allowing us to carry on even when our self-control strength has been run down. High motivation might help overcome weakened willpower-at least to a point.

    Willpower may also be made less vulnerable (脆弱) to being exhausted in the first place. Researchers who study self-control often describe it as being like a muscle that gets tired with heavy use. But there is another aspect to the muscle comparison, they say. While muscles become exhausted by exercise in the short term, they are strengthened by regular exercise in the long term. Similarly, regular practices of self-control may improve willpower strength.

    The evidence from willpower-exhaustion studies also suggests that making a list of resolutions on New Year's Eve is the worst possible approach. Being exhausted in one area can reduce willpower in other areas, so it makes more sense to focus on a single goal at a time. In other words, don't try to quit smoking, adopt a healthy diet and start a new exercise plan at the same time. Taking goals one by one is a better approach. Once a good habit is in place, Baumeister says, you'll no longer need to draw on your willpower to maintain the behavior. Eventually healthy habits will become routine, and won't require making decisions at all.

    October 15^this the Global Handwashing Day. Activities are planned in more than 20 countries to get millions of people in the developing world to wash their hands with soap. For example, donors(捐赠者) will give 150,000 bars of soap to schools in Ethiopia.

    Experts say people around the world wash their hands every day, but very few use soap at so-called important moments. These include after using the toilet, after cleaning a baby and before touching food.

    Global Handwashing Day is the idea of the Public-Private Partnership for Handwashing with Soap. Partners include the United Nations Children's Fund, American government agencies, the World Bank and soap makers Unlever and Procter and Gamble. The organizers say all soaps are equally effective at removing disease-causing germ(细菌). They say the correct way to wash is to wet your hands with a small amount of water and cover them with soap. Rub(揉搓) it into all areas, including under the fingernails(指甲). Rub for at least twenty seconds. Then rinse well under running water. Finally, dry your hands with a clean cloth or wave them in the air.

    The Partnership for Handwashing says soap is important because it increases the time that people spend in washing hands. Soap also helps to break up the dirt that holds most of the germs. And it usually leaves a pleasant smell. The Partnership for Handwashing also says washing with soap before eating or after using the toilet could save more lives than any vaccine(疫苗)or medicine. Hand washing could also prevent the spread of other diseases. When people get germs on their hands, they can infect(感染)themselves by touching their eyes, noses or mouths. Then they can infect others.

    Many people like traveling, but they cannot take their dogs wherever they go. Some people let their dogs stay alone at home while others ask someone else to take care of their pets. If you're leaving your beloved pet at home for a holiday, it can turn into a bad experience. Luckily, you don't have to worry about your dogs anymore because Rover can cover for you while you are on leave. Rover is the latest service to offer at home dog boarding. It's a good alternative (替代物) to boarding your dog at a dog boarding kennel (狗舍) or your neighbor's house.

    The way Rover works is sort of like Airbnb. Dog owners surf the Rover website or app for pet sitters (照看者), which can be organized by zip code (邮政编码) and available dates. Information of pet sitters is provided, complete with many reviews, specific services and rates. Now Rover has over 25,000 pet sitters in more than 5,000 US cities. And they're all experienced pet sitters.

    After finding someone that meets your needs, just send messages to the pet sitter to arrange a meeting. Then, like Rover says, all that is left to do is relax! Rover's pet sitters are encouraged to send text and picture information throughout the day, and if there's a medical emergency, the site will send a vet (兽医). Besides, don't worry about a pet sitter who fails to help you, because someone else will soon take his or her place.

    Happy doggie, happy travels—that sounds good to us. To learn more about Rover, click here.