America is a mobile society. Friendships between Americans can be close and real, yet disappear soon if situations change. Neither side feels hurt by this. Both may exchange Christmas greetings for a year or two, perhaps a few letters for a while — then no more. If the same two people meet again by chance, even years later, they pick up the friendship. This can be quite difficult for us Chinese to understand, because friendships between us flower more slowly but then may become lifelong feelings, extending (延伸) sometimes deeply into both families.

    Americans are ready to receive us foreigners at their homes, share their holidays, and their home life. They will enjoy welcoming us and be pleased if we accept their hospitality (好客) easily.

    Another difficult point for us Chinese to understand Americans is that although they include us warmly in their personal everyday lives, they don't show their politeness to us if it requires a great deal of time. This is usually the opposite of the practice in our country where we may be generous with our time. Sometimes, we, as hosts, will appear at airports even in the middle of the night to meet a friend. We may take days off to act as guides to our foreign friends. The Americans, however, express their welcome usually at homes, but truly can not manage the time to do a great deal with a visitor outside their daily routine. They will probably expect us to get ourselves from the airport to our own hotel by bus. And they expect that we will phone them from there. Once we arrive at their homes, the welcome will be full, warm and real. We will find ourselves treated hospitably.

    For the Americans, it is often considered more friendly to invite a friend to their homes than to go to restaurants, except for purely business matters. So accept their hospitality at home!

B

    I am Peter Hodes, a volunteer stem courier. Since March 2012, I've done 89 trips of those, 51 have been abroad, I have 42 hours to carry stem cells(干细胞) in my little box because I've got two ice packs and that's how long they last, in all, from the time the stem cells are harvested from a donor(捐献者) to the time they can be implanted in the patient, we've got 72 hours at most, So I am always conscious of time.

    I had one trip last year where I was caught by a hurricane in America. I picked up the stem cells in Providence, Rhode Island, and was meant to fly to Washington then back to London. But when I arrived at the check-in desk at Providence, the lady on the desk said: “Well, I'm really sorry, I've got some bad news for you-there are no fights from Washington.” So I took my box and put it on the desk and I said: “In this box are some stem cells that are urgently needed for a patient-please, please, you've got to get me back to the United Kingdom.” She just dropped everything. She arranged for a flight on a small plane to be held for mere-routed(改道) me through Newark and got me back to the UK even earlier than originally scheduled.

    For this courier job, you're consciously aware than that box you're got something that is potentially going to save somebody's life.

    My grandparents believed that you were either honest or you were not. They had a simple saying hanging on their living-room wall: “Life is like a field of newly fallen snow. Where I choose to walk every step will show.” They didn't have to talk about it; they showed this truth by the way they lived.

    They understood that honesty is an inner(内部的) standard for judging your behavior. Unfortunately, honesty is in short supply today. But it is the real bottom line in every area of society and a discipline (自制能力) we must demand of ourselves.

    There's a story told about a surgical nurse's first day on the medical team at a well-known hospital. She was responsible(负责) for all surgical instruments and materials during an operation. At the end of the operation, the nurse said to the doctor, “ You've only removed 11 sponges（海绵）, and we used 12. We need to find the last one.”

    “I removed them all,” the doctor assured her. “ No, you didn't , sir,” insisted the nurse. “ Think of the patient.”

    Smiling, the doctor lifted his foot and showed the nurse the twelfth sponge.

    So when you know you're right, you can't yield. Don't be afraid of those who might have a better idea or who might even be more intelligent than you are.

    Self-respect and a clear awareness (意识)of right and wrong are powerful parts of honesty and are the basis for enriching your relationships with others. Honesty means you do what you do because it's right and not just fashionable or politically correct. A life of principle, of not easily yielding, will always take you forward. My grandparents taught me that.

    Shyness May Be Partly Inherited(遗传)

    About 92 million Americans are shy, and according to recent research about half of them inherited the trait.

    The studies were discussed at the American Psychological Convention.

    One study, by Harvard University, was of babies 21- 48 months old. It concluded that these babies had a high heart rate when shown unfamiliar people or different toys.

    Although shyness is not new, it has only recently become of interest to researchers. The first study on the genetic connection was in 1979.

    According to Warren Jones of the University of Tulsa, social relations these days are more complex. "With less ritual(仪式) and more complex situations," he said, "shyness is a national concern."

    Not all shy people are anxious and fearful, according to another study. Evidence shows that only half of shy people are tense, worried, and fearful in social situations.

    Many men use shyness as an excuse for failing in social situations, according to C.R. Snyder of the University of Kansas. "This is not true of females. Perhaps,

    American men are pressured to be assertive(自信的) and successful. So they would rather say they're shy than admit they're incompetent."

    Shy people may do very well socially after the first meeting with someone. In fact, shy people tend to be more stable.

    The psychologists said shyness seems to be cultural. Japan has the highest rating. China and Israel have the lowest rating. The United States rated in the middle.

    Once when I was facing a decision that involved high risk, I went to a friend. He looked at me for a moment, and then wrote a sentence containing the best advice I've ever had: Be bold and brave and mighty (强大的) forces will come to your help.

    Those words made me see clearly that when I had fallen short in the past, it was seldom because I had tried and failed. It was usually because I had let fear of failure stop me from trying at all. On the other hand, whenever I had jumped into deep water, forced by courage or circumstance (环境), I had always been able to swim until I got my feet on the ground again.

    Boldness means a decision to bite (咬) off more than you can eat. And there is nothing mysterious about the mighty forces. They are inner powers we have: energy, skill, sound judgment, creative ideas––even physical strength greater than most of us realize.

    Admittedly, those mighty forces are spiritual ones. But they are more important than physical ones. A college classmate of mine, Tim, was an excellent football player, even though he weighed much less than the average player. “In one game I suddenly found myself facing a huge player, who had nothing but me between him and our goal line,” said Tim. “I was so frightened that I closed my eyes and crazily threw myself at that guy like a bullet (子弹) ––and stopped him cold.”

Boldness—a willingness to get yourself to the extreme—is not one that can be gained overnight. But it can be taught to children and developed in adults. Confidence builds up. Surely, there will be setbacks (挫折) and disappointments in life; boldness in itself is no guarantee (保证) of success. But the person who tries to do something and fails is a lot better off than the person who tries to do nothing and succeeds.

    So, always try to live a little bit beyond your abilities — and you'll find your abilities are greater than you ever dreamed.

    A famous Anglican Church stands in a quiet corner of Dunedin in New Zealand's South Island. Built in 1865, it is the city's oldest church still in use. Countless couples have gathered here to marry. It's where morning tears are shared, friendships formed and comfort given during times of loss.

    As with many churches, its walls are graced with a collection of beautiful stained-glass windows. Known as the "John Allen window", one window portrays the short life of a local man, John Allen, who died in 1915 in the Gallipoli campaign in Turkey.

    John was the son of Sir James Allen, who as Minister of Defense, helped plan and administer New Zealand's World War I strategy, which saw 100,000 troops sent to fight. With the war over and his son dead, Sir James chose to install a window in the church, with which the Allen family had strong ties.

    Divided into two parts, one depicts (描绘) St. George, the patron saint (守护神) of soldiers, while the other has an angel of peace, along with the words at the bottom, "John Hugh All Gallipoli, 6th June, 1915". Two trees with local birds on the branches can be seen and a kiwi walks at the bottom- reminders that John was a lover of birds.

    "There are many war memorials in the church," says the church. "However the 'John Allen window' stands out; it touches people because of the beautiful design, the New Zealand birds and because John's story, of a life so full of promise ending tragically in the war, reflects the lives and stories of so many others involved in World War I."